The Times We Almost Lost Everything
They year they nearly lost Remus was in Fifth Year, the year he found out they already knew about his affliction.
What few knew about Remus was that he was rather found of photography. He'd take pictures of the things that made him happy, things that sparked thoughts, things that he deemed pictureworthy.
In fact, what few knew was that it would someday be Remus who would be the one taking pictures at the wedding of a very special friend and then later at another's birth. He'd fiddle with the lenses, crack a few jokes, take a few pictures on a good day and on bad days they'd find him fiddling with the lenses, cracking a few, and deleting pictures.
Which is why Sirius now made it his daily habit to go through and develop all the latest every night so as to remind him later that he was happy, just not at the moment.
James frowned at the mousy haired man scowling down at his camera, "You know, im pretty sure it works better if you point it away from your jewels Moony."
Remus's scowl deepened, "Im not taking pictures, im deleting them."
James sighed and flopped down next to his friend, "Figured as much. Could you at least let me see them before you do so I can see what made you happy today?"
Remus sighed and glanced at James, "Why do you even care James? Im a monster, not a friend…"
James closed his eyes and struggled to conceal his hurt at his friend's words, forcing a noticibly strained smile, "Nonsense, you've been my friend since first year and I see no reason in not continuing just because you happened to discover recently that we've known of your secret for three years already."
Remus frowned and sighed again, looking defeated but recognizing he owed James for his harsh words along with his continued friendliness, "Fine. Get over here and look. After you do, im deleting them."
James nodded and scooted closer, gazing down at the pictures on the screen and allowing a slight smile. The first picture he saw was one of a sunrise, beautiful, glorious and red, its shining light flooding the sky with color. Delete.
The second was of Sirius waking James the same way he insisted upon every morning, jumping on his. The picture wasn't the best quality, James remembered Remus laughing too hard to hold the camera steady. Delete.
The third was of a familiar dog cozying up to a few seventh year girls and looking quite smugly back at a flustered Wormtail who seemed to be waving uncomfortably. Delete.
A butterfly. Delete.
A Ravenclaw in the library, sun shining in just such a way as to create the perfect library scene. James thought it was a pity it was deleted.
A centaur at the edge of the forest. Delete. Had to have been a crime to have done so but James didn't say anything.
Finally. Finally, Remus came to a picture of a smiling red haired girl, shining in the sunlight and grinning at something just off camera it seemed. She seemed happy, shy gleeful and he felt his heart ache at not having been the cause of such a look.
He smiled and gazed at the picture a little longer than he should have before nodding, giving the go to delete the picture, sitting up and gazing out at the great grounds of Hogwarts, "you've got talent Remus."
Remus frowned and looked up at his raven haired friend, "What? My pictures aren't anything to brag about."
James grinned, sad but happy all the same and it showed on his face, "Yes it is Moony. You see things others don't, you take the time to look for the beauty in life while so many others are lost in seeing only the darkness of this bloody war that surrounds us and yet. Looking at your pictures I couldn't find a single trace of any of it."
Remus gaped at James for a moment, forgetting in his amazement at James's words that he was busy feeling bitter. He gazed over at his friend and noticed for what he felt to be the first time how much James had grown in the past few years.
His eyes were softer, warmer and sadder, disguised often by smiles and laughs but revealed in times when he was vulnerable. He was a pureblood, Remus often forgot that, in light of his cheerful behavior. His family was involved directly in the war, of course he would be happy that his friend could go without seeing it in his daily life.
Even Sirius, having been practically adopted by one pureblood family after having been forsaken by the other didn't seem to be as effected by it all as James and he wondered for a moment if it was because James gave him little opportunity to feel his heavy insecurities.
James gazed out over the grounds, frowning curiously at the familiar red head, his eyes always found without his own knowing. As he gazed his lips lifted slightly, unaware of the camera being raised until he heard a distinctive click of the the shutter.
He turned to face his friend, blushing and laughing, "Delete that one! C'mon mate, you cant let Sirius see that one!"
"Cant let me see what?" they both looked up in surprise to see the young Mr. Black standing above them from where they sat casually beneath the young oak James's child would someday sit under.
James felt his face flush, "Nothing."
Remus grinned, "The famous Lily stare."
Sirius face split into an evil grin, "The one where he gets this goofy look on his face and smiles all slow like?"
Remus nodded smugly as James gave a shout of protest, "I don't have a Lily Stare!" They all laughed and Remus didn't forget to take a picture of the embarrassed James because for once… He didn't see the war in his either.