Chapter 6 – Do Try not to Bite Her Fingers off

Regulus was having a crisis. Over the last week he had developed a tooth-ache, the pain getting progressively worse. From where it hurt he was in no doubt that it was a wisdom tooth trying to make its way up but not having enough space. He knew this was a common problem and that many young people ended up having to have a wisdom tooth removed. The reality of this caused panic to rise inside him. This would mean a dentist having to mess around in his mouth and anaesthetics pumped into his veins. Just thinking about it made his heart start to pound. He had not gone to the dentist in years and the times he had as a child he had had to be held down or sedated. He spent more than half an hour every day with dental hygiene: brushing and flossing after every meal, so that he would not have a reason to go to the dentist. But this was something he could neither prevent nor fix himself. Even so, he was not ready to accept the reality of it so he did nothing.

The third day he asked for soup, Mrs. Harris said, "Now, you tell me why you have not eaten anything solid for three days."

Regulus swallowed. "No reason. I've just been in the mood for soup."

Mrs. Harris put her hands on her hips and gave him a stern look. "Now you tell me the truth, young man. What's wrong?"

"Nothing," mumbled Regulus. "Just a bit of toothache. It will go away in a few days."

"If you have a toothache you need to go to the dentist or it will only get worse," said Mrs. Harris.

"No dentist! I take good care of my teeth and I'm sure this will pass. It's just a bit of pain from a wisdom tooth making its way up. It's bound to hurt a little," said Regulus, knowing very well that this pain was much worse than just from a tooth breaking through.

"It doesn't hurt so much that you aren't able to eat solid food," said Mrs. Harris. "Does it, Sirius?"

Sirius shook his head. "You best be going, Reggie." Sirius had seen Regulus at the dentist once and it had not been pretty. But if there was something wrong with his tooth, then he would just have to cope.

"No!" said Regulus and got up, pushing his bowl away. "I don't need a dentist!" Then he marched off to his room and curled up with Kreacher on the bed.

o0o0o

Three more days and the pain had become too excruciating for Regulus to endure. He could no longer lie to himself that it would get better without help. "Sirius," he said as he found his brother in the kitchen the morning after a night of no sleep. "I need to see a dentist. Will you go with me?"

Sirius nodded. "Of course I'll go with you. I was wondering when you'd break. You want me to call and make an appointment?"

"I don't know where to go. How is your dentist?"

"He's like most dentists, I suppose. Very friendly and all, so I'm sure he won't mind having a look at your tooth."

"Does he have big hands?"

"What?"

"I bet he has big hands. I want a woman. With small, gentle hands," said Regulus.

Sirius looked up the Yellow Pages on his tablet and started calling around. Five minutes later he had made an appointment with a female dentist who could take Regulus in immediately.

"Well get your jacket on," said Sirius as he went for the front door. "We have to be there in fifteen minutes." He sighed and eyed his brother seriously. "Do try not to bite her fingers off. She's only trying to help you. And she will be wearing gloves and a mask, so no germs."

Regulus nodded and followed Sirius outside. The germs weren't his biggest fear. It was the touching. Some stranger's hands halfway down his throat...

o0o0o

When they stepped into the waiting room Regulus' palms were already sweaty. He let Sirius do the talking and just waited, standing by the window as far from the other patients as possible. Ten minutes later a dental assistant showed the brothers into a room and gestured for Regulus to take a seat in the dentist chair.

Regulus eyed the chair suspiciously. "Has it been disinfected?"

The assistant looked a little surprised. "Yes, we disinfect it every day."

"But not since the last patient? I'm not sitting in it if it hasn't been. Who knows what diseases the last one was carrying around."

"Sit down, Regulus," said Sirius and pushed his brother into the chair. "They said it had been cleaned and people don't sit naked in those chairs. As long as they disinfect the tools you should be fine."

The assistant quickly assured them that the tools were indeed disinfected after every use.

Moments later, the dentist came in and stopped by the sink to wash her hands. "Hello, Regulus," she smiled. "And what can I do for you today?"

Regulus swallowed although his mouth was completely dry. "I think I have a bad wisdom tooth..."

"Who is your usual dentist?"

"I don't have a dentist. The last one didn't want to see me anymore, and that was fine by me."

"Why is that?" asked the dentist and sat down on her chair, snapping on a pair of rubber gloves.

"Because he has issues with people touching him," said Sirius.

"I see," smiled the dentist. "Well, if you get uncomfortable you just let me know and we will take a break. I see quite a few people with dentist fear, so no need to worry."

"I'm not scared of dentists," objected Regulus.

"Just of people in general," commented Sirius.

"I'm not scared!" said Regulus, sending his brother a glare.

The dentist picked up a tools and asked Regulus to lay back and open his mouth.

Regulus just looked at her, unable to move. "Do I have to lean back? Can't I just sit up like this?"

"No, I can't get a proper look if you don't lie down."

Regulus gulped again, his eyes flicking nervously to his brother as if asking for help.

"Just do as you're told and you'll be fine," Sirius assured him, hoping desperately that Regulus would not cause too much trouble.

The dentist finally convinced Regulus to lean back, but when she tried to put the tool into his mouth, he turned his head away. "You have to lie still so I can look," she said and tried again.

When she put a hand on his chin, he slapped it away before he could stop himself. "Sorry," he mumbled.

She looked a bit shocked. "I'm going to try again, yes?"

"Right," said Regulus, digging his fingers into the armrests to prevent his hands from flying to his face again.

"Open your mouth."

Stiff as a board Regulus forced himself to open his mouth but as soon as she stuck her little mirror inside his mouth he snapped and roughly shoved her away. She lost her balance and would have fallen had Sirius not caught her.

"Reggie, for God's sake!" he swore and none too gently pushed his brother back down in the chair, which he was struggling to get out of.

"Perhaps we should give you a sedative," said the dentist, rubbing her arm where she had banged it against the table. "To help you relax so we can get that tooth looked at."

"No!" said Regulus. And here was the dilemma - forcing himself to let her look in his mouth or have chemicals pumped into his veins. "Can't you just see it on an X-ray? I can hold that thing you put in the mouth myself."

"Of course I'm going to take an X-ray, but I have to see your mouth as well." She sighed. "I suppose we can start with the X-Ray…"

The dental assistant handed the dentist the small disk and she asked Regulus to open his mouth wide so she could place it in his mouth. This, however, was easier said than done. "Regulus I have to place the image right or it's no use," she tried to explain.

"I can do it myself."

"No, it has to sit precisely the right place - at the very back," she said, sounding like she was finally losing her patience.

Regulus opened his mouth again but before he could brace himself, she had already stuck in the disk, cupping his chin in her hand to hold his face still. Panic gripped Regulus and he jerked so violently that the small table next to the chair was knocked over, sending instruments flying in all directions.

The dentist flew up from her chair and looked around at the instruments lying scattered across the floor. "I can't do this. You clearly don't want my help!"

"Please," said Sirius stepping up to her. "Please don't give up on us. He really needs your help. He's not being a brat, he's just very scared." When she opened her mouth to say something, Sirius put a hand on her shoulder and sent her his most pleading eyes.

She sighed. "All right. I'll give him another chance, but I'm going to sedate him."

"I don't need it," said Regulus, getting up from the chair and heading towards the door. "It will probably go away on its own in a few days."

"No it won't!" said Sirius and grabbed his brother roughly by the shoulders. "No more shite, you hear me? She's giving you another chance and you better take it!"

Regulus pulled himself free of Sirius' grasp. Of course he knew that he was right. "You don't need to force me," he mumbled as he reluctantly went back to sit in the chair.

"I think it's best to give you nitrous oxide," said the dentist. "If you can't sit still for me to just look in your mouth there is no way you can sit still for an injection."

"I have to inhale it from a mask?" asked Regulus.

"Yes. You can hold it yourself."

Regulus thought about it. He was not keen on inhaling gas, but he supposed that it didn't make a difference if he had chemicals injected or inhaled them. And doing the gas, she didn't have to give him the injection. So he agreed.

The assistant prepared a mask for Regulus and held it out for him. He eyed it suspicious. "Other people have been breathing into that. There are so many bacteria in people's airways. That's how most illnesses spread -"

"I can assure you that this is perfectly safe," the dentist cut him off in a no-nonsense tone.

"Just take it, already!" said Sirius. "I'm sure they wipe it off after every patient."

Regulus eyed it, then braced himself and held the mask to his face, quickly taking a couple of deep breaths to get it over with. For a moment his heart was pounding in anxiety but then a pleasant dizziness fell over him and he started breathing normally.

It was easier this time for Regulus to force himself to sit still and not push the dentist away while she investigated his teeth. It didn't quite feel real; more like it was something happening in a dream.

The dentist had her assistant take an X-ray and said, studying the picture, "I'm afraid we have to remove it."

Regulus groaned. He had suspected as much. "Just be done with it. Pull it out. "

"It's a little more complicated than that," she sighed. "It's growing askew, so I have to operate."

"So you can't do it now?" said Regulus, feeling his chest tighten at the thought of going through the whole ordeal again another day, instead of getting it all over with now.

"Yes, seeing how troubled you are by this, I will clear my schedule for the next hour and get it done."

"Thank you."

"Angelina?" said the dentist to her assistant. "I'm putting Regulus under full anaesthesia. Will you prepare it?"

"What?" said Regulus, darting upright in the chair. "Why full anaesthesia? Just let me breathe some more of this!"

"It's an operation and nitrous oxide will not take all the pain. Normally I would just use local anaesthesia, but I don't trust you to sit still if you're conscious."

"I will! I promise!" gasped Regulus, terrified of being completely out of control of what was happening to him. "Sirius -" he said, looking desperately at his brother. "Tell her I will!"

"I can't see any other way, Reggie," said Sirius. "Look – it will be easier for you this way. You'll go under and the next thing you know, it's over. I'll stay to make sure they don't violate you."

"I can do it with just the mask!" said Regulus, looking at the dentist again. "I'm not afraid of a bit of pain!"

She shook her head. "Out of the question. I need to be sure you don't move, and frankly, the way you have behaved so far it's obvious that I can't. Now, do you want your tooth removed or not?"

Regulus swallowed. "Yes. Yes, alright. But my brother stays!"

Even under the influence of the nitrous oxide Regulus went into full-scale panic when the dentist tried to apply the IV to administer the anaesthetics, and Sirius and the assistant ended up having to hold him down so the dentist could do it.

Regulus felt sick when he woke up but he was relieved that it was over. The dentist gave him antibiotics and some strong painkillers and instructed him to take them for a week. Regulus never took pills if he could avoid it, not wanting to pollute his body. He knew that if he didn't take the antibiotics he might develop an infection, but he rejected the painkillers. "You can keep them and give them to some other twat."

o0o0o

Remus came to the house the next day. He spotted Regulus sitting in the living room with a book and his ugly cat in his lap, and when the others were occupied raiding the kitchen Remus went in there.

"Hello," he smiled. When Regulus looked up a little startled, Remus took a step back. "I just wanted to ask how you were feeling today? I heard you had to have a tooth removed."

Regulus felt something flutter in his chest. He had felt like that recently every time he looked at the tawny-haired boy. He didn't quite understand what it meant. "Yes. It's fine. Thank you for asking." In truth he wasn't fine. He was in agony, but still refused to take the painkillers.

"You look a little pale," said Remus. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yes. It was just a tooth. No big deal. People go to the dentist every day," said Regulus, hoping Sirius hadn't told his friends about the drama he had caused, although he knew the chances were slim.

"Okay," smiled Remus and then eyed the cat on Regulus' lap. Kreacher lifted his head and looked up at Remus, tail flicking and ears in a half-upright position. "Can I pet him or will he claw me? Sirius told me he's a bit reserved."

"I wouldn't touch him if I were you. He really only likes me. Which is no wonder since nobody else treats him with respect. By the way, I doubt 'reserved' was the word my brother used to describe him."

"Well," said Remus and pulled up a chair to sit on. "I think he looks like a very special cat."

Kreacher laid his head back down on Regulus lap but kept watching Remus with suspicion.

"He is. Still, I'd rather you not touch him. I don't want him to hurt you," said Regulus, afraid that Remus would reach out to pet the cat while he was lying in his lap.

"Okay, I won't, then," said Remus and leaned back in his chair. "Which book are you reading?"

"It's Steve Hawking's newest. Quiet interesting, but of course that is no surprise. The man is a genius."

"Hey, Remus," said James as he and the others walked into the room. "You should have some of these toffees. They're dead delicious," he said, holding up a large bag of wrapped sweets.

"You shouldn't," said Regulus, eying Remus. "They have like ten different artificial colourings and conservators in them. They cause cancer and allergy."

"Oh, put a sock in it, Regulus," said James. "Perhaps Remus wants to enjoy life, unlike you who's determined to lead a miserable existence."

"Yummy," said Sirius and stuffed several toffees into his mouth at once, throwing the wrappers on the floor.

"Why should I eat something I wouldn't enjoy anyway? You can make perfectly delicious sweets with organic ingredients. Remus, you should try Mrs. Harris' caramel fudge next time she makes it."

"I'd like that," smiled Remus.

"Why would he want to wait for that when he can have these sweets right now?" asked James.

The four went into one of the TV rooms to watch a movie, throwing themselves on a couch each. Remus didn't find the film that interesting, so he pulled out his sketchbook from his pocket, flipped through the pages and stopped on the one of Regulus. He couldn't help but smile as he looked at it and wished he could get the chance to draw him smiling. Remus was sure he must look dazzling when he smiled.

Regulus had been to his room to dress in his running clothes and went through the TV room on his way outside, mostly because he was curious. The others didn't hear him come in and as he passed behind Remus he stopped dead in his tracks when spotting the sketchbook in his hands. He stared at it, recognising his own picture. Going pale, he tore the book out of Remus' hand. "You drew me? What the hell are you doing - spying on me?"

"W-what?" Remus gulped and looked up at him. His hand was shaking as he reached for his sketchbook, being very fond of it and the pictures in it. Especially the one of Regulus. "No I just... I just saw you sitting alone and I thought you looked... well you looked good so I drew you," he said nervously, hoping Regulus would give him back the book.

"What kind of freak are you?" yelled Regulus. The others had turned their heads and were watching the scene in astonishment. Regulus ripped off the sheet of paper with his picture, unceremoniously tossed the book in Remus' face and tore the picture into a dozen pieces. "Freak!" he repeated and rushed out of the room.

Remus picked up the book and felt his heart ache from Regulus' reaction. He felt embarrassed as he picked up the pieces of the drawing that lay scattered all over the floor. "I think I'll go home now," he said and tried to act as if it didn't bother him.

"No, Remus," said James and hurried over to put a hand on his shoulder. "Don't let him get to you. He's fucked up and not worth taking seriously. He's the freak - not you."

Sirius had already jumped up and raced after Regulus, furious. He caught up with him in the main hall about to go outside and spun him around by the shoulders. "What the hell is the matter with you?" he roared. "Don't call my friend a freak just because he drew a sketch of you! You should be grateful that someone finds you interesting enough to want to spend time drawing you!"

"Let GO of me!" yelled Regulus agitatedly and pushed his brother away. "And stay out of it! He drew me without asking! It's an invasion of privacy!"

"Maybe he didn't dare ask you because you act like a lunatic! You freak out over every little thing and now you've hurt his feelings! You didn't have to call him a freak, which I am sure he has heard plenty of times due to his illness. You of all people should know what being called a freak feels like!"

"Well, I'm used to it!" said Regulus and hurried out the door, setting off at a brisk pace, knowing that Sirius couldn't catch him even if he tried.

Sirius slammed the door shut and went back to the others, mumbling curses under his breath.

Remus was still sitting next to James, head bent. He wished he was at home where he could hide away in his room. It had been so embarrassing and hurtful, hearing Regulus yell at him and then tearing his drawing into pieces.

"Don't mind that bloody twat," said Sirius, sitting down next to Remus. "He doesn't have any social skills."

"I just didn't think it was such a big deal," mumbled Remus and looked down at the torn pieces of paper in his hands. "But I guess I should have asked for permission before doing it. I just didn't think before I acted."

"Don't worry about it," said Sirius and wrapped an arm around Remus' shoulder. "It wasn't like you were peeping at him through the keyhole to draw him naked or something, so don't blame yourself."

Remus just shrugged and closed his hands around the pieces. He felt like his heart was breaking. They had finally started to have a bit of a connection, but that was ruined now, and it would take a miracle for Regulus to ever even talk to Remus again.

A/N: To see Zayhad's illustration to the chapter go to deviantart dot com and look up Zayhad. She has a folder in her gallery with the story's name on it.