The Times We Almost Lost Everything

Sirius Black honestly couldn't complain. He had gone out exactly as he had once promised James he would, on one drunken night when the teo had gotten so lost in the woes of war they had fallen to talk of dying.

He couldn't honestly say it had hurt either, not the spell Bella had hit him with nor the veil he had fallen into. None of it hurt. But this did. Seeing the two of them again, after so long of blaming himself, it hurt like Hell to see them both again.

James had eyes that spoke of ages he'd never lived but had known. The wisdom twinkling in his eyes just as brightly as the mischievous smile shone out across the room as he gazed. His hair was ruffled, far wilder than Harry's ever was as, about halfway through knowing him, James had simply given up on brushing at all.

He nose was still bent from the one wayward bludger he'd once accidently sent towards him in practice and the scar on his life showed proof even still of the one time he had taken the changing steps at a run and had to finish with a jump so as to avoid falling to his death. He had landed on the wall with his face.

His square frames shone out, accenting his hazel eyes as he smiled at Sirius, his clothes looking new and warm and all too real.

Lily stood at his side, looking gentle, serene and calm just as she always had save when she had been cross. He firey hair was down and it fell in gentle waves to the middle of her back. It framed her face and brought out her green eyes, making them appear to be the most vibrant, alive shade of emerald he had ever seen.

Her smile was soft and kind, her eyes showing a different form of wisdom than her husband's. A motherly wisdom she had only had time to sharpen for a year before she had died and yet, as Sirius gazed at them mutely…. They were both so alive.

"Sirius."

He jumped in surprise, looking at James in wonder, amazed he was speaking, amazed it wasn't jst a dream.

"Sirius, thank you for taking care of Harry."

Sirius felt tears well up in his eyes as he shook his head once, denying for a moment that it could be true.

"Thank you for taking care of him when we could not and thank you Sirius, thank you so much for bringing life back to Remus again."

He turned to look at Lily again and let a tear fall from his face as he saw the sincerity in her eyes, "Don't."

James took a step toward him, a sad smile on his face, one that seemed so similar to the one he had always worn when comforting them back at Hogwarts, "Siriu-"

"Don't thank me. If it weren't for me. If I hadn't agreed- If I had just opened my eyes! You could still be with him…."

James smiled sadly, tears in his own eyes as he heard his friend's voice and his words, "No Sirius, we chose to chance the secret keeper. We are at fault just as much as you are. Harry- Harry may never know how much we owe to you though Sirius. You exposed Peter, you gave Remus hope again and you brought my son joy in a life in which he knew little of it."

Lily stepped forward and took Sirius's hand earnestly, "Sirius if it weren't for you, Harry might- Harry might be with us now. You got him out of that house. You took him to safety, to Hagrid. You sought him out just so you could see how he'd grown-"

Her voice trailed off, choked with tears, unable to continue speaking for a moment, "You offered him a home and whats more, you gave him hope. What more can we thank you for?"

Sirius wept freely and she pulled him to her, rubbing his hair gently, smiling through her tears at the man who had taken care of her son. James closed his eyes tightly, pressing them closed in hopes of keeping his tears at bay but was defeated by the sounds of his wife and friend weeping.

Peter died knowing very well what pain felt like. He writhed in agony, feeling only fain for what seemed like ages after his death until all at once he was sitting in a white room with no walls, floor, or ceiling; just endless white.

He blinked with confusion and turned around to look for clues as to his surroundings.

"Peter."

He froze, eyes closing in horrified silence, hoping desperately he had mistaken that voice for another. Surely… Surely he had not take Harry with him, God forgive him if he did."

He turned slowly to face the voice and found, to his horror, James instead. He stood quietly, hands in his pockets, shoulders slightly slouched, eyes a little cold even as he smiled brightly, "Glad you could join us."

Peter shook his head quickly, begging in silence to be treated to some kinder Hell.

"Peter." The voice of Lily.

"Blimey Wormtail, do you ever think for yourself?" Peter's eyes opened indignantly and he turned to face Black who merely laughed, eyes distant.

Peter couldn't help but pause as he took in the sight of Sirius Black, looking far younger and cleaner than he had been since the night at Godric's Holow. His hair was tied back in a small ponytail, his bangs framining his face as he smirked at Peter.

"Im here, aren't I?" His words surprise himself even so he's not surprised when Black blinks in startled amusement, "So you are, but that then leaves us to wonder how you died."

Peter frowned and looked down at his hands, breath catching in his throat at the sight of his renewed hand, flesh and bone once again, "I-i-i….. choked myself. Rather… The hand killed me for not obeying an order that would have gotten him killed…."

"Harry?"

He nodded at Lily, too ashamed to meet her eyes.

James sighed, "Peter…. You were once a good friend of mine-"

"Don't."

They all looked at their once timid friend in surprise, "Ive already come to realize that… this is goodbye. My Hell… well… This just makes sense. Ive paid for the pain ive caused and I've no doubt ill pay again from time to time when soething I've done hurts another but… Your heaven is no longer my heaven."

Sirius smirked slightly, seeming genuinely sad as he spoke, "Done following us then?"

Peter smiled just a little, "Frankly Black, Im done following anything. Id much rather just sit, read or walk for as long as time may allow me."

Sirius nodded, looking at the man admiringly, no longer the balding ugly man he had been but the much younger and friendly one he had once called friend, "Youre not running away from me are you?"

Peter smiled, his smallish black eyes fitting quite well with his mousy brown hair that fell just above them, "Im quite done running too. I think, for once, I'll just mind my own business."

James had laughed slightly and clapped him on the shoulder, "Thank you Wormtail. For saving my son when it counted."

Lily seemined uncomfortably, "This doesn't mean I forgive you for what you did but… thank you."

Sirius gave a soft smile and a mock salute beore following the two into the endless white surrounding where they faded into nothing.

Remus appeared with a gasp, taking in the sight surrounding him quickly. The ground seemed to be one large, giant pensieve, for what, he wasn't yet sure for all he saw at the mosmtn were muddled colors and confused images.

"Remus?"

He turned to face Tonks hurriedly, seeing her clean and calm and confused. Her hair was a vibrant bubblegum pink and her eyes were a soft azure blue. She was dressed simply, comfortably and seemed rather calm for the moment as she gazed at him in wonder.

"Remus… You look?"

"Dashing? Handsome? Pretty perhaps? I always thought so didn't I James?"

Remus and Tonks both turned immediately to face the three awaiting friends, all smiling at them in amused glee.

Remus, unable to help himself, looking down at his profile and then back up at Sirius who was still grinning at him. For the first time in as far as he cared to think he was wearing good, comfortable, completely unprofessional clothes. He was wearing a pair of sweats that hugged his hips closely and socks with no holes and a comfortable and tasteful tanktop that he had lost in sixth year.

The part that had shocked him the most however was his complete lack of monsterous scars. There were scars here and there sure but those were scars he was proud to have, scars with lessons behind them not scars tha brought a feeling of shame behind them.

James spoke, "Thank you both… for everything you've done. Im… Im so sorry."

Remus hugged him in a most unexpected bonecrushing hug, holding his close and clutching the back of his head, golding tightly as if afraid it weren't real. He let out a shuddering breath and pulled away, hugging Lily in just the same way and by the time he reached Sirius, he was prepared for the force behind the hug.

"Dora. These are my friends."

Dora nodded slowly, tears filling her eyes as she hugged each of them in turn and laughing softly as Sirius whispered something to her. They all seemed to happy, so alive and real that she knew without a doubt that she was dead.

Lily finally allowed a somber look to cross her face, "Im so sorry for everything… I-"

Remus shook his head even as Dora spoke, "We knew it might happen, from the very beginning we did byt we still went through with it. This is the life we've chosen."

Remus held his wife close, "I just wish we knew if our son was alright."

James smiled softly, "How do you think we were able to tell if Harry was alright? Look down Remus, im sure youll get it."

Dora looked down and gasped excitedly, "We can watch him then? Keep and eye out for our little Teddy?"

Lily nodded softly, "There are so many who we want to watch, I know. Mothers, Fathers, brothers, sister, sons and daughters, what with how many are joining it only makes sense."

Remus felt a sudden weight around his neck and smiled as he reached up to feel his camera, "I suppose there is a lot to be happy for then… Thank you."