Sorry for the one-day delay. I no longer have a computer and my spousal unit took our one phone for the day so I couldn't post till I got home from work.

Cross-posted from AO3 same day.

Gifting

"Baby boy!"

Peter's head snapped up at the familiar name, but the problem was, he was not only not in costume, but it wasn't Wade who had said it. It had been the barista Peter hadn't even ordered from yet.

He approached the counter cautiously.

"Baby boy?" the girl asked, gesturing the cup at him.

"Yeah, I think so, but I didn't order yet?"

The girl rattled off his favourite drink, the one he splurged on as a rare treat, and Peter gaped. Eventually, the girl seemed to take pity on him.

"Okay, I probably shouldn't tell you this, but a really scary dude came in when we opened this morning, gave us your picture and told us to make this drink free when you showed up, or he'd be back. I wasn't actually here for that, none of us were, but morning shift wouldn't stay to find out if he'd come back so us afternoon shifters had to do a one day shift swap. You dating a super-villain or something?"

Peter gaped at her for a minute before physically shaking himself out of it by shaking his head. "No, I'm- He's-" Peter sighed. "I'll talk to him and make sure he doesn't do it again. I'm really sorry."

The girl shrugged. "Eh, it's New York. What're you gonna do."

Peter smiled tightly at her, grabbed his drink (he was angry, but not enough to give up free food), and left.

Wade was waiting for him on their roof when Peter showed up that night, wide grin on display where his mask was rolled up. "How'd you like your drink?" He was gleeful, excited, like a puppy. Which made it frustratingly hard for Peter to keep his anger. But it was still there.

"Are you tailing me?" he demanded.

The grin dropped suddenly from Wade's face and his shoulders fell. "No?"

Peter waited.

And waited.

And wa-

"Okay kinda but it started on accident! See, I was just walking around in my civvies and then I saw this cutie with a great ass in front of me and I was like 'Man, that's almost as good as Spidey's', and I didn't have anything better to do so I followed it and I started thinking 'I think that's Spidey's', and then cutie started walking up some stairs and I was like 'Holy shit that's Spidey!' So I started following it and man Spidey's ass owner has a super cute face and likes really sweet coffee so I wanted to get baby boy some coffee since you said stop doing animal things and start doing human things and human things is buying each other coffee, right?"

Peter stared at him, brain stuck on one particular part of Wade's confession. "You recognized me… by my ass?"

Deadpool nodded emphatically. "'Course I did, baby boy!" he exclaimed, tentative smile creeping back up.

Peter sighed and dropped his face into his hand.

"You never told me why you call me that," Peter mumbled into his hand.

"What, 'baby boy'?"

Peter nodded.

"Cuz you're a precious cinnamon roll and I want to cuddle the shit out of you."

Peter groaned. He couldn't deny that he liked the guy, but the age gap made him uneasy, as did the murdery-ness. But Wade was legal and had been better about not-killing lately and actually liked Peter and his nerdiness, and he put more effort into their non-relationship than anyone else had in a long time, if ever.

He was so going to regret this.

"Do you…" Christ, why was his heart beating so fast? "Do you want to go out to dinner?"

Deadpool whooped and jumped up. "It worked. You hear that, you assholes? My idea worked!" he cackled.

Peter was definitely going to regret this.

TBC

With how much Wade's obsessed with Spider-Man's ass, I keep hoping at least one fic I come across would have Wade recognizing Peter by his ass, but since I haven't found any yet, I had to throw it in. And that was before Elektra did it to Matt in Daredevil S2. lol (Omg I was so stoked when she did that.)

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