p align="justify"I like women well enough. The women that work at the saloons however, I'm not sure how to feel about them./p
p align="justify"They turn my stomach, but at the same time, I'm tempted./p
p align="justify"I think of what my mother would say, my father, of all the terrible things that could happen, and I still wonder./p
p align="justify"I always thought those types were old, and ugly, and sour-smelling and sweaty, but that's not true. There are pretty ones, not too much older than me. They want money to eat for the night, and I'm lonely looking. Well, I suppose I am lonely but I'm not sure if it's the type of lonely that sex can cure./p
p align="justify"I've never been with a woman, and part of me says that it's cheating. It doesn't count if you paid for it. Another part says, that woman doesn't really want you anyway. It's your money she wants, poor girl. She wants to eat tonight and she'll do what it takes. She might be disgusted by you, she might count the seconds and want it to be over every moment. That's the part that turns my stomach./p
p align="justify"One night, a girl looks at me with the most desperate eyes I've ever seen, so I give her all of my money. Every cent I had, and I left thanking god that I hadn't been born a girl./p
p align="justify"For a moment I wondered if my mother had been the same, desperate to survive so she stayed with the gang and did what she had to in order to make them want to keep her around. Probably./p
p align="justify"The world is cruel to women. My mother always said it, but now I see it./p
p align="justify"They turn my stomach, but at the same time, I'm tempted./p
p align="justify"I think of what my mother would say, my father, of all the terrible things that could happen, and I still wonder./p
p align="justify"I always thought those types were old, and ugly, and sour-smelling and sweaty, but that's not true. There are pretty ones, not too much older than me. They want money to eat for the night, and I'm lonely looking. Well, I suppose I am lonely but I'm not sure if it's the type of lonely that sex can cure./p
p align="justify"I've never been with a woman, and part of me says that it's cheating. It doesn't count if you paid for it. Another part says, that woman doesn't really want you anyway. It's your money she wants, poor girl. She wants to eat tonight and she'll do what it takes. She might be disgusted by you, she might count the seconds and want it to be over every moment. That's the part that turns my stomach./p
p align="justify"One night, a girl looks at me with the most desperate eyes I've ever seen, so I give her all of my money. Every cent I had, and I left thanking god that I hadn't been born a girl./p
p align="justify"For a moment I wondered if my mother had been the same, desperate to survive so she stayed with the gang and did what she had to in order to make them want to keep her around. Probably./p
p align="justify"The world is cruel to women. My mother always said it, but now I see it./p