Hi hi~~
Oh my god. To be honest I've completed 2/3 of the omake like a month ago. But the third part- I've redone it 3 times and scrapped whole ideas and everything. *sigh* Sorry. (And shoutout to Destiny aitsuji for helping me decide this. If not for her ya'll be waiting a little bit longer.) But hey at least I managed to get a chapter out before my birthday ~~
BTW the references for the last omake were:
Mighty Fall by fall out boy
Moves like Jagger
Five Nights at Freddy (obviously-so glad you guys liked it- I will be doing a sequel kinda, eventually)
The sadistic Ivan was a reference for Ivan Braginsky- Who is the human name of Russia from Hetalia (my fav Hetalia character ever~, btw my other favs is Germany and America like kyaa~~)
And last but not least (I know this is the only reference you guys probs didn't get but) the message IT'S EXECUTION TIME is a reference to Bermuda's catchphrase he used when in canon he showed his true form. And I don't know bout you guys but knowing this made the omake for me SO much funnier lol.
Also interesting side note Small Gia's personality is based off Hiruma Yoichi's from Eyeshield 21 (because I LOVE him and if you haven't heard of this anime go watch it now *glares*)
+Last one inspired by 333 and More Ways to Get Kicked Out of HQ by iTorchic
Enjoy~~
A Peek into Ten Years Later (1)
Tsuna adjusted his tie for the sixth time.
"Tenth, are you okay?"
The brunette smiled at his right hand man looking as reassured as he could however he couldn't stop the nervousness in his eyes.
"Ah, yeah I guess. It's just going to be a little weird acting all business with them."
"Omnivore don't be ridiculous." His Cloud snorted. It was probably the closest he would get to a 'don't worry it'll be okay' from the aloof skylark.
His Storm glared. "Oi don't be rude bastard." Steel grey narrowed and the older male began reaching for his weapons.
Tsuna giggled softly at that however not wanting a fight, especially at this important meeting he waved a hand in dismissal at the two.
"No he's right Hayato. I've got nothing to worry about. Especially when I have all my guardians not to mention the Greatest Hitman in the world behind me."
Gokudera looked like he wanted to say something however he shut his mouth and gave a crooked smile. Hibari merely snorted but his hands were no longer near his tonfas.
"Maa maa you can count on us Tsuna."
"Yeah! To the EXTREME!"
"Kufufufu of course."
"Yare yare, it can't be helped if it's for Tsuna-nii after all."
"Hmph, Don't underestimate us Dame-Tsuna."
With a grin the brunette opened the giant doors before them, striding in confidently to the meeting.
"Sorry to make you wait good sirs. My name is Sawada Tsunayoshi, Vongola Decimo."
A tall pale man looked back at him with a stern emotionless face but was betrayed by his almond shaped eyes with pupils of the darkest night twinkling with amusement. He had shoulder length straight midnight black hair and behind him were two familiar figures dressed in bandages and black cloaks and top hats.
"A pleasure. Bermuda Von Veckenschtein. Founder of Vendicare, Arcobaleno of the Night and leader of the Vindice."
The first official meeting between Vongola and Vindice alliances was going well. It was hard for both party leaders to keep their professional, 'Boss' composures around the other but they were managing.
Alejandro couldn't help but nod ever so slightly but proudly each time Tsuna once again proved himself in terms of negotiation etiquette. Actually he was finding it hard not to softly coo or try and correct anything his dear sweet child did. However underneath his bandages the blonde kept glancing at Jager who had been suspiciously silent for a long time. Something didn't feel right to the puppeteer but he couldn't put his mind on what.
That is until midway through the meeting.
"I expect full support if the Vindice agrees to join Vongola in any war against enemy familigia."
"We will do so only if Vongola is attacked first." The Vindice boss countered. The Decimo nodded.
"Agreed. And also if we gain any evidence of human trafficking and such in-"
TSU-KUN IS A WION!
Everyone froze. Caramel brown eyes widened at stared at the trio in front of him. Bermuda and Alejandro looked as shocked as they were. Only Jager- Jager had his hand covering his mouth as his shoulders were barely suppressing his laughter.
WIONS GO WOOAAR!
Pale creamy skin quickly flushed a steaming as red as it dawned on the Vongola Decimo on what the Strongest Vindice Warrior had done. That vindictive bastard.
This was probably because he may or may not have 'decorated' the man's room a week ago and he may or may not (never could be proven) have also tampered with his closet. But this was a little much right?
Jager was smirking under his bandages as he blatantly took out his vibrating phone.
Apparently not.
PWAY WITH ME~ PWEAASE? EVERYONE'S BUSY AND I'M LONELY
Tsuna practically dived across the table, snatching the Vindice Warrior's phone with the fastest reflexes he'd ever done. He could hear a few suppressed snickers coming from his side of the room and practically feel the amusement radiating off certain individuals. So much for support. We'll they won't be laughing soon after he gives them so much paperwork they'll be covered in a thousand paper cuts. Or maybe a nice overnight visit to Vendicare was in order? Oh, yes, that would be simply delightful.
WHEN I GWOW UP I WANNA BE A JAWLER JUS LIKE YOU GUYS!
He swore a rainbow of explicatives whilst his face burned bright red as he frantically tried to unlock the phone. Hands fumbling from the sheer embarrassment alone. Oh god what was the passcode?!
AND THEN I'LL MARRY MY FAVOUWITE PERSON IN THE WORLD! BERM-
Nope didn't matter. At this point he didn't care whether he got the password or not. The damage was done. But like hell he wasn't going to take this sitting down. Tsuna grinned with as much vindictive triumph he could muster at Jager, cheeks still red from before and his hands holding a flaming pile of scrap metal where the undead male's iPhone once was.
"Don't think this is going to end with just a broken phone Jager." Tsuna mock whispered threateningly.
Before the man could retort back, Alejandro punched him at his head. Unable to help himself the blonde chided, "Don't bully Tsuna."
"Carnivore I'll bite you to death for embarrassing the Omnivore."
Both guards looked at the skylark with raised eyebrows. Jager smirked again. "You can try little bird but I highly doubt you could. Even with the help of your pineapple friend."
"Kufufufu," The Mist Guardian of Vongola clearly irritated at the jab at him, summoned his trident. "Both of your eyesights must be decaying like the rest of your bodies if you think me and the skylark are friends."
Now it was Alenjandro who was annoyed. "Oh? You're confident enough to bring me into this petty fight and survive? Fools, all of you."
Soon all his guardians had joined in the fight with the two guards. It was a mess. Reborn after adding fuel to the flames had left to refill his cup of coffee. The two bosses sweat dropped at the whole scene.
Tsuna suddenly found himself unable to stop himself from chuckling. Bermuda soon joined in. It was such a familiar scene, so nostalgic yet it wasn't. As much as he was enjoying himself at Vongola he did miss his days living with the Vindice. He visited as much as he could but being a new boss of a mafia familigia was busy work. The guards understood but the brunette always felt guilty each time he left, each time he cancelled a plan or had to leave early.
It was still difficult to adjust to this new chapter while trying to cling onto as much as the beginning of the book as he could. But seeing both his families together like… this- it felt like everything fit.
Finally the chaos settled and they continued the meeting. Though the atmosphere was now a little warmer than before. It still held a professional air but it just felt easier. The brunette no longer felt like all his emotions were knotted up in the pit of his stomach and his heart split into two. In a way he was thankful for Jager since he was the one to break the tension, the unease and that subtle trace of possessive hostility. Now his family was bigger than ever.
Tsuna was still going to get payback though.
A Twisted Game
The rather peaceful day in Vendicare was ruined when an ear-splitting screeching sound echoed across the halls as the rarely used speakers crackled to life. The guards were grateful at that moment they were dead or they swore blood would be dripping from their ears at the simply cringe worthy sound.
Everyone looked up from what they were doing- paperwork, lunch, patrol- rather surprised, Even Bermuda and Jager were puzzled as they gazed quizzically at the ceiling where their particular speaker was hidden. Usually this meant a bout of one of their adorably fluffy child's games but never had the boy ever chose to startle them with such… noise.
Then a harsh cackling laughter rang out. And if they had blood pumping in their veins, it would have all rushed from their faces. This wasn't Tsuna's laugh, but they certainly recognised whose it was.
"Oh freaking no." Jack breathed in horror.
Alejandro's subordinate had dropped a bunch of neatly stacked paperwork. The puppeteer didn't care. He was too slack jawed to reprimand the shaken guard anyway.
"KEKEKEKEKEKE OH FUCKING YES!"
More laughter as everyone, even the founders of Vindice, shuddered. This did not bode well for their afternoon. But it should be okay, as long as-
"I'm here too everyone!"
-Shit. Trust that sadistic strategist to pull the big guns on them. There was certainly no way to say no, especially after hearing how happy their favourite child was over the speakerphones.
"Well, me and Gia-san want to play a little game."
The fiery red head couldn't take it anymore. Like hell he was going to do this. Not after the last time Small Gia took control of the speakers. "Oi! Why is Gia freaking co-hosting this!? That ain't fair!"
At the outburst many of his followers and guards nearby took confidence and also began verbalising their protest.
"That's right!"
"Wasn't he banned from the control room?!"
"Tsuna why?!"
However those protests were silenced quickly by the man in question himself.
"Kekekeke- I'm sure ya'll wondering why I ain't participating in this particular game." Gia drawled. "Well it's because of you fuckers all complaining bout me cheating the last time. Actually, several times."
More protests rose.
"But you WERE cheating!"
"You RIGGED the freaking dice!"
"You tackled me down during a CARD game!"
"I don't know how but you brainwashed the mice so they came to you every SINGLE time!"
"It isn't cheating you fucking losers," Gia howled between fits of laughter. It was clear he was enjoying the nostalgia of his past mischief immensely. Even Tsuna's muffled laughter could be heard faintly in the background. "It's merely- keke- twisting the rules a bit. Like how you twist a person's arm to make interrogation easier. Ain't that right chibi?"
"Right!"
Alejandro wanted to point out that when Gia interrogated, he didn't just twist the poor criminal's arms, he broke them. Painfully. Real painfully.
"Anyway," Tsuna chirped, taking over the microphone. "The game is kind of like capture the flag but with a twist!" The brunette giggled, "You'll be split into one of two groups. The first group is Team Cloudy Sun lead by Bermuda and Alejandro. The second is Team Rain Storm lead by Jager and Jack. Big Pino is also a neutral and is currently helping set up the grounds."
The undead guards began murmuring excitedly. Now they were getting quite into the mood, it had been a while since they all played a game of this size and team ones were always delightfully challenging. Already they were planning to chose where their alliances lay and the strategic choices that best suited them.
"Kekeke now it's my turn to explain to you the rules." It was quite amazing how the short guard could manage to even make that innocent sentence sound vaguely ominous. Many victims of Gia's so-called 'pranks' felt almost sick with anxiety. What had Tsuna been thinking?!
"Each team will have a box. They are located on opposite ends of the ground floor. The aim is for you to take the other team's box to your end of the floor and construct what ever is inside whilst trying to protect your own box. Fucking simple right?"
"Also," Tsuna chirpped, "You aren't allowed to actually tamper with the insides of the box. The first floor and basement one you are also allowed access to but it's the ground floor where the insides of the box must be assembled. You may warp to and from floors but as it will be unfair if you warp directly to your base you aren't allowed to use the portal to achieve distance, only vertical movement. However the leaders are restricted to the ground floor only."
"We'll graciously give you fifteen minutes to choose a side and strategise. If you haven't finished by then- boo freaking hoo."
"If you've finished assembling whatever is in your boxes then please alert either me or Gia so we can judge the final product and officially announce the winner."
"Now git. Time starts now."
Bermuda and Alejandro look at their following once they reached the end of their side of the hall. It looked like they had almost exactly half the Vindice on their side, give or take a few. Then they focused on the box.
It was large. Probably not heavy enough to require two Vindice to carry it however but at the same time the size was enough to require a pair to transport the thing with minimum hassle, especially with the way Vendicare holds so many sharp turns and twisting paths.
Other than that there was no other clue to what this box contained. The trio had apparently thought ahead and had covered the thing with bright metallic shiny orange wrapping. A fluorescent green ribbon hung condescendingly on top. It didn't take a genius to figure out who did that.
But right now there was no time for that. They had to strategise and make plans. Games like these needed to be taken seriously. Well, if they wanted to win of course. They needed to divide into groups, there was far too many unknowns and variables. All that they could assume right now was that their own target should be of similar size and at similar placed location. Probably decorated in a garishly bright colour as well. If this was a real mission it would be the equivalent to being called in at the last second, with near no information on either victim nor enemy and armed with nothing but a toothpick. Not even the Greatest Hitman would accept such an outrageous job.
But that's what made it so fun.
The Vindice Boss smirked, already tasting his victory. In the corner of his eyes he could see Alejandro also held that determined spark in his own eyes. As one they looked back at their little group who in turn looked back at them expectedly.
"Ok men," He began, his voice inspiring confidence and awe in his subordinates. "Let us begin."
Jager and Jack stared at the rather ugly wrapping of their box.
"It's like a highlighter freaking puked on it."
The co-founder of Vindice agreed. The bright green paper covering it would definitely stand out against the monotonous grey walls of Vendicare at least. That didn't stop the thing from being a literal eyesore. The cutesy orange flower on top of it didn't help either.
"It is rather… big." Emilio tried to appease. A rather strategic move considering the unpredictable sadist could be listening in during any moment. The short guard was already a headache when he was in a good mood, it was downright torture when he was anything less.
"Ok. Then we should presume the other team must have a similar sized box." Jager mused out loud. His inversely coloured eyes flickering to the crowd that made up his group. "I want the most flexible, swiftest and quiet people in charge of attaining the box. The strongest will be divided to either defend or help attack and distract."
Jack was already picking out the men described. He may not be the best suited to thinking things through and planning but while the older Warrior had to stay behind in Vendicare, he was the one outside working closely among everyone. He knew his comrades and what they could do.
As much as it loathed him to admit, Jack knew the same could be said of a certain blonde doll maker. Hell, Alejandro probably had a better grasp at everyone's strengths and weaknesses considering how long he's been around. No matter, as skilled as the opponents were he and Jager weren't exactly push overs either.
The two glanced at each other and as if thinking the same thing they smirked.
"Well then," Jager purred.
"Let's get this thing freaking started!" Jack finished.
The 'game' took three and a half long hours.
There was betrayal, there was rage, there was friendships that cracked.
And at the same time there was triumph, there was laughter and bonds formed in the unlikeliest of comrades.
Three and a half long hours of blood, sweat and tears. And paint. A LOT of paint.
Somewhere in the middle of the chaos the three 'supervisors' had decided to unleash a barrage of high tech weaponry inspired by classic paintball guns which they had persuaded (coughcoughblackmailedcoughthreatenedcoughbegged) a certain green haired genius to make for them. When an individual has been given a finishing blow shown via paint marks they were considered out and was forced to retire the game. Needless to say it made everything much more interesting not to mention complicated and messy as hell. Three whole floors of Vendicare would be covered with bright splotches of colour for weeks on end.
By the end of the three and a half hours however it finally came down to this:
"WHAT FREAKING INSTRUCTIONS DOESN'T HAVE FREAKING WORDS?!" Jack shouted in absolute frustration as he threw the offending sheets of paper at the paint splattered wall. Jäger glared venomously at the red haired. His usual impeccable dark hair was matted in bright blue and yellow paint and messed beyond recognition due to the numerous action of tugging his hair in sheer annoyance.
"Yeah throw it at the wall Jack. That will help." The co-founder of Vindice sniped sarcastically. The fiery guard's eyes narrowed. Luckily before he could retort a weary, tired guard holding some metal nails and a piece of wood quickly spoke up.
"Can someone please just get the manual and tell me where this.. thing goes?" The rest of the remaining guards murmured in agreement.
The two leaders shot one last glare at each other before they resumed their roles. They had to finish this before the other team did. Hopefully the other side of the floor was having as much success as they have.
Bermuda groaned in irritation, his small bandaged hand absentmindedly wiping away a small smudge of paint on his cheek that a lucky guard had managed to graze whilst he went out once as a distraction. Even Alejandro's composed stoic features had crumpled under the stress as he stared down at the piece of paper they had thrown at the floor in a fit of anger.
"Who ever this IKEA person is needs to die." The blonde muttered darkly.
"Or teach Small Gia some pointers in the finer arts of cruel and unusual punishment." The Vindice boss added, chuckling sardonically at the thought.
"Boss! The planks don't align with each other like it said!" A Vindice whined.
"The screw doesn't fit." Someone else complained as well, the strain evident in their voice.
"I'm pretty sure we did step 6 upside down. We have to redo everything from there." Another voice spoke up reluctantly. This roused many groans and various other complaints in the group, more than a few sounded suspiciously close to actual tears.
Bermuda and Alejandro sighed.
"I-I can't DO this Jack, Jager, everyone- I'm sorry."
"Fico don't do this." Jager cooly tried to reassure, from a safe distance, the sobbing guard who had put the gun to his head. "We can work this out, come on."
"NO!" Fico shouted, his finger clenching the trigger harder and making the Vindice Warrior flinch slightly. "I've gone through war, torture, DYING for god's sake but this… THIS is TOO MUCH!"
"O-oi." Jack slowly moved closer to the guard, hands raised to show he was unarmed. "I know this is hard. We all do. But I'm sure together-" The broken Vindice gave a short bitter bark of laughter, "Together?! We've been working on that monstrosity for hours together! And nothing! We don't even know where the hell the last screw goes!"
Jäger feeling the pressure was this close to breaking down himself. But he held strong. "I'm sure we just need a deep breath and simply deconstruct the thing so we can figure it out." Moans and cries of despair came from the remaining Vindice who had been watching the scene enfold behind their two leaders. Fico shook his head.
"I'm sorry." He whispered hoarsely. Jack tried to stop him but it was too late.
*BANG*
Bright green paint hit the guard's face, directly on the temple. An instant kill.
For a few seconds there was only silence. Then Jäger sighed defeatedly. "Go Fico. You have done well." Fico sobbed in relief and gratitude as he warped away. Jack couldn't help but notice a dangerous number of their guards were now looking at the crying guard with envy and longing. He too sighed.
Damn you Small Gia.
"We still have hope Ario!" Alejandro all but begged.
"In what?!" He screamed. "In this devil's work?! We are somehow missing pieces sirs- there is no hope!"
"If we just take it apart-" Bermuda tried to calmly assure but there was strain and hesitation evident in his voice as well.
"NO!" Emilio yelled near hysterically. Now he was holding his own gun with a shaking hand. "We did not just spend, what could only be described as the worst fucking four hours of our lives, building this bloody piece of frigging furniture only to teAR IT DOWN!"
A few guards quietly murmured their agreement in the resistance as well. Bermuda was shocked. Centuries being the boss of Vendicare with unwavering loyalty and respect yet four hours and a do-it-yourself IKEA queen sized bed with three attached drawers had fractured all of that, reducing his subordinates to mutiny and 'suicide'. Four hours and the proud Vindice pride was straining under the nerves and frustration and anxiety.
IKEA was truly a force to be reckoned with.
"Kekeke, Tsuna I swear to god this is the best birthday present anyone has ever got for me!" Small Gia crowed, the fluffy child beamed. Tsuna did feel slightly guilty about his fellow family's suffering but the short guard had been so listless recently and to be honest, he also felt a strange sort of sadistic pleasure in watching everyone despair and squirm.
As the sadistic guard doubled over in laughter, eyes practically lighting up in almost childish glee at the video feed from the surveillance room Tsuna chuckled a little too.
In the end it lasted for another two more hours before both teams simultaneously gave up and burnt their unfinished pieces of furniture up with a maniacal glee.
Small Gia was now completely banned from the surveillence room. Under any circumstances.
And the 27 Ways to Get Kicked out of Vendicare
1. Run through the halls singing I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES
After a long, long sing a long someone announced the fact that Bermuda's office was soundproofed.
This led to around thirty brave jailers singing, being conducted by a sadistic short guard in their boss's doorway. The steel door that had been the barrier between doorway and a poor, severely annoyed Vindice Boss's ears had mysteriously disappeared.
2. Go up to anybody that passes by, jailer or otherwise with a paper bag and yell TRICK OR TREAT. If they don't have anything do the sad puppy dog face.
No one could handle the sad puppy dog face. No. One. By the end of the day Tsuna was carrying things from candy to handcuffs to a desperate prisoner's gold tooth. He had to be stopped at the teeth part.
3. Teach Tsuna how to drive.
"Never. Freaking. Again."
"Mou~ Jack~ Everyone dived out of the way at the last minute... and I'm sure the Museum of Fine Arts didn't lose anything that important during the explosion!" Tsuna whined.
"Never. Freaking. Again. Ever."
4. Set the alarms to go off in thirty minute intervals throughout the day.
Alejandro finally snapped by the twelfth time. Jack stopped snickering after being threatened by a second death via paperwork.
5. Spike your boss's coffee with sugar and alcohol. Lots and lots of alcohol.
The guards ran screaming from Bermuda's office exactly four minutes after the first sip.
"WHOSE FREAKING IDEA WAS THAT?!"
"THE WORLD IS A LIE!"
"I'M NEVER GOING TO SLEEP AGAIN!"
"SOMEONE FUCKING HOLD ME!"
6. Attempt to find Narnia through the secret passageways.
"It must be this closet I tell you!"
"Tsuna, you idiot, that's where we hide the dead fucking bodies. Maybe you should try the wardrobe down the fucking hall?"
"Ok Gi- wait what?"
7. Release four giant mutant spiders into Vendicare each labeled 1, 2, 4 and 5.
Verde is still upset that he had to give up his precious experiments.
Tsuna wanted to keep them all much to everyone's dismay.
The prisoners have never been so traumatised.
Gia-san will never take credit for this particular prank considering it had been announced by Bermuda that the person responsible would be promptly executed by him personally.
They are still looking for spider number 3.
8. Pretend to go on vacation.
It didn't last long when Jager sent Bermuda a picture of his tripled paperwork.
9. Create a real petting zoo to entertain the prisoners.
*ROAR*
Roared the lions.
"Yay big kitties!"
Squealed the child.
"AaaAHGHHHHH"
Shrieked the prisoners.
"TSUNAAAAAA!"
Screamed the guards.
10. Have a rap battle.
Surprisingly after a long war of wars, Alejandro prevailed over an intense three-way battle with Small Gia and Jack. The noble, cool man had received the envious title of BAMF as his prize. Needless to say the two runner ups were mortified at their loss.
11. Act like you're in a soap opera.
"Sir! How will we ever achieve revenge if you keep wooing all the female guards?!"
"We will get revenge Emilio- I swear, even if it takes every breath in my body to do so. And I never intended to woo anyone! In fact… I'm dating one of the Cervello."
*GASPS*
"Jack-sama you cannot do that! You-"
"I can do what I freaking wish Ario! Alyssia and I are in love!"
"Kekeke, that's not what she said last night."
*More shocked gasps*
"N-no.. Tell me this isn't true you bastard!"
"Kekeke"
"Y-you freaking bastard! I thought you were my friend!"
"But I wanted so much more than that.."
"Y-you don't mean-"
"Kekeke you finally fucking got it huh? The truth is. I. lov-"
*Alejandro walks in*
The puppeteer took one look at the scene before backing off, very slowly.
The one season of Vendicare: Chains of Passion was a big hit among both guard, chef and prisoner. A second season is currently pending.
12. Carry around a boom box and blast dance music.
It ended up as a huge dance off in the middle of the halls which Big Pino won with some pretty amazing breakdancing moves.
13. Compliment someone you usually don't get along with.
Alejandro said Jack was admittedly pretty intelligent despite coming from a subspecies of uncultured swines.
Jack mentioned to Alejandro that the stick up his ass was doing wonders for his posture. Especially considering his amazingly old age.
Bermuda had to separate the two before they did more than just 'compliments'.
14. Hold a talk show.
It became more of a 'Let's watch Small-Gia reveal embarrassing secrets of the other jailers in front of them for twisted entertainment' show. Never was the short guard allowed to host again. Nor was he allowed anywhere near the surveillance rooms, the computer or anything that could record anyone without a supervisor.
15. Loudly discuss your shippings of the Vendice guards.
"Kekeke I say Ivan would do well with Ario."
"Are you freaking kidding?! I saw the man staring at Matthew yesterday- plus they are both one of the few Mist users, it would be perfect!"
Ivan who was walking by stumbled slightly as he overheard the conversation. Backing away out of his fellow Vindice's view he silently eavesdropped.
"Well that really is too fucking bad for Alfred then. A little birdy told me that their love hate relationship has a little less hate and a little more love if you know what I mean?"
The mist user shuddered. Really? Alfred?! But Small Gia's information networks are always highly accurate. He still vividly remembered that damned talkshow of his.
"Alfred? But isn't he brothers with Matthew? Well ain't that freaking interesting.. You know I also heard the two even share their underw-"
Ivan couldn't listen to anymore or his brain would melt, quickly he turned around and warped to his room to reconsider well… everything.
Gia and Jack high fived quietly with large cheeky grins.
Needless to say by the end of the day no guard was not avoiding their fellow comrades' eye contact. The awkwardness lasted a week and a half and no work had been accomplished throughout. Alejandro and Bermuda were not happy. Neither was Jager but that was only because no one invited him to join the verbal harassment of his fellow peers.
16. Play Mario Kart.
By the end of the day there was six severe casualties and only half the karts were still usable.
"Who knew Tsuna would actually freaking win?" Jack murmured as he looked at his completely demolished Jack-mobile, courtesy of three bombs and a blue shell (don't ask how), then to the happy if not ash and grease covered child holding a golden trophy twice his size with the engraving of EXTREME MARIO KART WINNER.
"I told you I can drive better!" He chirped.
17. Be punny.
"Hey Alejandro want to hear the definition of a cannibal?"
The puppeteer raised an eyebrow.
"Uh sure Jager… I suppose.. What's the definition of a cannibal?"
Jager smiled proudly.
"Someone who is fed up with people."
The puppeteer just stared. Then shook his head sadly and left. Stupidity must be getting contagious. The blonde made a mental note to stay away from a certain red head.
18. Create a clone
Verde was a little confused at why this Vindice guard (he had trouble distinguishing them under all those bandages) wanted him to create a clone of the man in the picture given. But of course he rather be confused and alive than being stone-cold dead so he did what he was told.
…~0~...
"What the freakin-?!"
"It's you."
"I can see it's me! Alejandro what are yo-"
The puppeteer merely grinned slyly, a dark vindictive twinkle in his eyes.
"Now you can go do the fucking of yourself."
"%#$&*^? !"
Alejandro still swears that was the most satisfying moment of his life.
19. Accidentally give the wrong medication.
Tsuna was extremely cheery the whole day after his vaccination shots with Dr. Shamal. The Vindice didn't mind until the doctor realised the reason behind it.
"Ne, ne Shamal-san do you know snails tell the funniest jokes?" The brunette chirped dreamily.
"Uh.. That's wonderful Tsuna- can you quietly come back to the sick bay? I don't want the other guards to find out I accidentally drugged you up…"
"Do you think when we pull leaves off a plants they're actually silently *giggle* screaming in pain cuz it's like we are tearing off their limbs? Can you imagine if plants did that to *giggle* us?"
"…"
"Shamal-san, Shamal-san."
"Yes Tsuna?"
The brunette giggled then whispered conspiratorially, "I see dead people."
"..Note to self: No more medication for Tsunayoshi."
20. Put on a firework display
Jager should not have tried to practice inside.
However Bermuda through his reprimanding couldn't stop a grin form beneath his bandages. Especially since all his paperwork in his office got burned in the process.
21. Go fishing.
A few stray guards walking down Vendicare halls stopped as they saw the unmistakable gravity defy brown hair peeking out behind a wall, immediately changing from their original destination the jailers began migrating towards the fluffy brunette. However when they got closer the fluffy brown head slipped away, a small giggle could be heard.
Thinking Tsuna was playing with them the guards happily played along, mock chasing the child around twisting corners, only being able to catch a glimpse of the small boy. This went on for five minutes until-
"Got yo- wait what?"
A grinning short sadistic guard grinned maniacally as he held his crudely hand carved Tsuna doll now with realistic hair in one hand. In the other was a fishing rod. Standing intimidatingly behind him was a stack of paperwork as tall as him.
"Kekeke. Well look what I manage to catch." Small Gia drawled, revealing in the expressions of the guards as they dawned onto a horrified realisation.
"Now… Who wants to help me with my paperwork?"
22. Form a superhero team
After long debate, argument and discussion Jack ended up getting Red Ranger, Tsuna settled for White Ranger (since there was no orange), Small Gia got Green Ranger, Big Pino got Yellow Ranger, Bermuda got Black Ranger,
and Jager almost died when he suggested to Alejandro that he could be Pink Ranger.
23. Bringing Tsuna to an interrogation and say it was because it was 'Take your charge to work day'.
"You are going to help us. Or you are going to die." Alejandro growled in a raspy harsh voice as the chained criminal shivered violently.
"Slowly too." Jack snarled. "And very, very painfully." He added as he cracked his knuckles.
Tsuna, completely out of place in the interrogation cell with his bright orange lion jumper and overall cute features, pouted. "Mou~ you guys can't both be bad cops. That's not how it works!" He informed as he kicked the bound man in the groin mercilessly.
The sound that came out of him made the brunette giggle. Looking up from the now crying, blubbering mess of a man he saw the two guards staring at him with raised brows.
"What?! I didn't want to be good cop either!"
"Small Gia is going to be so freaking proud when he hears this." Jack muttered, Alejandro nodded.
But the two couldn't completely extinguish the glimmer of their own pride in their eyes.
24. Go to the dentist
"Thank god I will never be Tsuna's dentist." Alejandro muttered under his breath as he paid the terrified secretary who about an forty-five minutes earlier was swooning over the adorable brunette and wisely ignoring the boy's two bandaged, suspiciously cloaked guardians.
"I know. Kekeke- it was still fucking hilarious when the kid kicked the dentist's groin and the man sounded like a dolphin giving birth though."
Even the puppeteer had to smirk at that. "What about when Tsuna swore in sixteen languages during the checkup and sounded like he was possessed, causing the very christian nurse to completely lose it?"
"I can't believe she had a vial of fucking holy water."
"I can't believe the second nurse accidentally stabbed the dentist with that hook thing."
"I know. Did you see the amount of blood that spurted out of him- kekeke even I was surprised!"
"Ne, ne! Can we get ice cream now? You promised I got ice-cream if I was good!" A fluffy innocent looking child chirped up at them, tugging adorably on the ends of their cloaks.
25. Pick up someone.
"Hey Alejandro."
"…Yes Jager?" The blonde asked warily. Jager either didn't notice that or was unperturbed as he still gave that confident smirk of his.
"If I told you you had a great body, would you hold it against me?"
Alejandro raised a brow. "Um.. No I guess I am flattered you think so?"
The Vindice Warrior frowned slightly but pushed on.
"I was wondering if you had an extra heart? Because mine seems to have been stolen."
The puppeteer's face instantly took on one of worry. "What? Has Ivan been taking hearts again to freak people out? No wait… he only is able to take out his own.. Do you need to go to the medical bay? Should I tell Bermuda?"
"Er… No I was.." For once the womaniser was quite stumped. However not one to sulk he tried one last desperate pick up line he had learnt from a certain doctor.
"You know you are like my big toe- eventually I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture in this room!"
Alejandro; cool, composed and very, very patient Alejandro couldn't help himself.
He sucker-punched the man in the face.
It may have been the blood in his eyes or just a temporary lull in sanity but Jager was sure the puppeteer's face was covered in a rather fetching blush before he warped off.
26. Start getting into sports.
Tsuna almost dropped a hot cup of hot chocolate he had been holding as the sounds of bullets and screams filled the air.
*BANG* *BANG* *BANG*
"AAAAAGGGHHHHHHH!"
"KEKEKEKE! YOU CALL THAT A KICK YOU FUCKING AMATEURS?!"
Wide caramel brown eyes watched a bunch of balls bouncing past followed by a team of prisoners practically tearing down the grey halls of Vendicare with a sadistic trigger happy gunner in their wake.
"Mou… I almost spilt my drink… And you all know what that would have meant ne?"
The fluffy five year old looked down at the sweating inmate doing push ups he was currently sitting on as well as the others surrounding him with a deceptively sweet smile as they all nodded frantically. Satisfied the brunette took another sip of his hot chocolate. Yes. There was no way he wasn't going to win this year's Vendicare Winter Cup Games.
27. Make a list of ways to get kicked out of Vendicare and neglect ALL paperwork
"What the fuck were we on?"
"How the frick frack should I know?"
"Kekeke we could totally have come up with 27 more, better ways to get kicked out of this place!"