Chapter 23 – A Bloke Can Dream

The next day Regulus arrived with another full rucksack. "My homework..." he said, pulling out a couple of books and a writing pad, "…homemade toffees for you..." he continued, handing Remus a bag of Mrs. Harris' sweets, "…and this should come in handy," he finished, pulling out the largest bottle of hand sanitizer Remus had ever seen. He planted it on the foremost table and checked that the pump worked. On the bottle he had written in giant letters: USE ME!

Remus chuckled and took a toffee from the bag. "Are you sure it's alright that you stay away from school again today?" He coughed. His mother had stayed with him all night, assuring Regulus that she would, and had then left for work early that morning. Remus felt bad about it. His mother had looked so worn out, but she was just as worried as Regulus about Remus having a relapse after what had happened the night before, that she dared not leave him alone.

"Don't worry. It isn't as though in won't pass my exams," said Regulus in an indifferent voice. "You look a little better today. Not so much of a fever?"

"It's gone down a bit more, the doctor said. My chest still hurts, but it's a little better. Must be because the fever has gone down."

"And hopefully the antibiotics are starting to work," said Regulus, popping one of the toffees. "Should I read, now you're properly awake?"

"I'd like that very much."

The next nurse who came in to check on Remus was greeted by Regulus pointing demandingly at the hand sanitizer bottle.

"I already washed my hands," she said, but Regulus just shoved the bottle towards her until she put some on her hands. "Don't you have other places to be?" she muttered as she changed the IV bag. "We will need a new blood sample from you, Remus," she told Remus.

"Make sure to use a new sterile needle," commented Regulus.

"Of course! We always do," snapped the nurse as she unwrapped the needle from a plastic container. She drew the blood from Remus and smiled gently at him, feeling his forehead. "You're still hot. I will keep an eye on your temperature so we're sure the fever won't get too high again."

o0o0o

Regulus went home at five when Remus' parents came in after work. He had convinced Mrs. Lupin to let him take the night watch, as he put it, at twelve once he had had some sleep, so she could go home. She had been awake more than 24 hours, after all.

Come the morning, Regulus had fallen asleep in an armchair and was awoken by a nurse giving him a gentle shake. He woke with a start so violently he fell off the chair

The nurse reached down to help him up but her hand was smacked away. "Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you," she said. Then she went over to wake Remus.

"Don't wake him when he's sleeping!" said Regulus, agitated from being awoken so abruptly.

The nurse placed her hands on her hips. "He needs food. He can't afford to lose more weight. It's not good for his health."

"Call that food one more time," mumbled Regulus, deciding that he did not trust this nurse at all. There had been no reason for her to touch him like that, other than because she wanted to grope him. She could have just said 'excuse me' or something.

"Hi," Remus smiled at Regulus when the nurse left to get him some porridge. He rubbed his eye with a palm and tried to focus. "Have you been here all night?"

"Yes," said Regulus, running his hands through his hair. "I took over for your mother at midnight."

"You really don't have to sit guard over me," Remus said, feeling like a burden. Regulus looked horrible. He had probably been sitting in that chair all night.

"I'm staying till one O'clock. Your father managed to get half a day off, so I can go home and get some proper sleep. I think I'll take the night watch again."

When Mr. Lupin arrived at one O'clock he bumped his head against something in the doorway. He looked up, holding a hand to his forehead, and spotted Regulus' large bottle of hand sanitizer hanging from a string. "What the... is this?"

"I'm tired of having to remind everyone who come in here to use it. This way no one will forget," said Regulus.

Mr. Lupin looked puzzled for a moment before he shook his head and took some of the gel. "I have to admit you sure are looking out for my son," he said, knowing he shouldn't encourage him too much. He looked at Remus who was asleep again. "Has he been sleeping long?" Mr. Lupin did not like how his son was looking. Pale and thin with dark circles under his eyes. He would have a talk with the doctor as soon as Regulus had left.

"A while. The bloody nurse woke him at eight but he went back to sleep not too long after. He's very tired."

"Hmm..." mumbled Mr. Lupin and ran a hand over Remus' hair. "Has anyone said anything about his state? Doctor been to check on him recently?"

"Yes, but he wouldn't say much to me. He was quite rude, actually."

"I'll have a talk with him. You go on home and get some sleep, lad. You look like you could use it."

"Alright," said Regulus, swinging his rucksack over his shoulder. "Please use the bathrooms in the corridor and ask others to do the same."

o0o0o

When Regulus came home, Sirius sat in the hallway with Padfoot, throwing a ball back and forth, Padfoot chasing it happily. As Regulus stepped through the doors, Padfoot forgot about the ball and ran to greet him.

"NO!" shrieked Regulus and held out his hands to stave off the dog; but it was too late - Padfoot had already jumped and landed in his chest, knocking him off his feet. "Si...rius!" gasped Regulus as the dog planted its paws on his chest and licked his face.

"Who can blame him? You're never home," Sirius laughed but finally took pity on Regulus and pulled Padfoot off by the collar.

Regulus scrambled to his feet, face crimson with fury. "TEACH THAT BLOODY BEAST SOME MANNERS! HE HAD HIS TONGUE IN MY MOUTH!" he screamed. Then he realised the truth of his statement and suddenly bent over and vomited on the floor.

Mrs. Harris had heard the screaming and came storming. "What's going on here?" she gasped, spotting Regulus throwing up on the tiles.

"Just Padfoot giving Reggie a welcome home kiss," said Sirius.

"He assaulted me!" cried Regulus, tears in his eyes, wiping vomit from his mouth. "Sirius doesn't care! He doesn't care! And I got... I got his tongue in my mouth!" He vomited again.

"I do care! You're just so bloody touchy!" yelled Sirius, still holding on to his bouncing dog. "It's not my fault he likes you!"

Mrs. Harris steered Regulus to the bathroom where he could wash his mouth. "Sirius!" she called. "You clean up this mess!"

"What? Why me?"

"Because your dog did this!"

Hating himself for it, Regulus was sobbing and shaking as Mrs. Harris wiped his face with a wet cloth. He hoped Sirius wouldn't come into the bathroom and see it; it was embarrassing enough that Mrs. Harris saw him like this.

"There, there, luv," she said, handing Regulus a towel. "I'll just make sure your brother is cleaning up that mess," she said and left the bathroom.

But she found the hallway empty - the puke still on the floor. "Sirius!" she called and stomped upstairs and hammered on his door. "You come out this minute!" There was quiet for a moment, but when she hammered a second time, roaring, "I know you're in there!" the door opened. "Didn't I tell you to clean up that mess? It's your fault your poor brother got sick!"

Sirius sent her a deadpan look and crossed his arms. "Technically it was Padfoot – not me – and he just missed him because he's never home. Not my fault my dog loves him, and frankly, right now I have trouble seeing why he does."

"It's your responsibility to control your dog," said Mrs. Harris in a calmer tone. "You have to remember how sensitive your brother is."

"When do I ever get a chance to forget that?"

"I won't discuss it anymore. I know he's difficult, but you are his brother and you have to show consideration for him. Now, clean up the mess," finished Mrs. Harris and started walking away.

"Why is it always me who has to show consideration?" Sirius asked her back. "Why can't people show some consideration for me sometimes?"

Mrs. Harris stopped but didn't turn around. "I don't know, dear," she sighed, looking over her shoulder at the frustrated teen. "But you know how he is and you know he doesn't like your dog, so keep him under control around him."

Regulus was sitting in the kitchen drinking a cup of tea, trying to calm himself. He had tossed his sweater, which had been contaminated with Padfoot drool, on the floor.

Mrs. Harris picked it up when she came in. "I had a talk with your brother," she said and put the sweater on a chair. "I will wash this for you later." She studied him for a moment and sighed. "How much sleep are you getting? You look terrible."

"Thank you," said Regulus in a sarcastic tone. "A bit in an armchair. And a few hours after dinner. I'll have some sleep now after I've eaten."

"I'm not sure it's such a good idea that you keep going in there every night. You practically live at that hospital. You're not getting enough sleep and not enough food, I suspect. Are you planning on going tonight as well?"

"Yes. Remus' parents need to sleep, they're working all day. And I better do the night shifts while I can. I might have to go to school Monday. Sirius said McGonagall meant business. That old bat obviously doesn't understand how ill Remus is."

"She understands that you need an education, and I must say I agree with her. You need to go to school and you need your sleep every night. You can visit Remus after school." She turned to start making Regulus a sandwich. "How is the poor lad? Any better?"

"Not good. He's stable but not really better. I'm not sure the medicine is doing much more than keeping his condition at bay. Or at least the progress is very slow."

Mrs. Harris turned to look at him, her face filled with worry. "Oh, I wish there was something to be done to cure that condition."

"Yes, me too," said Regulus, an idea forming in his mind. He wanted to really learn about Remus' condition and what kinds of treatments there were. He knew Remus' parents spent a lot of money on research and different experimental treatments. He was going to hit the internet.

o0o0o

The Lupins had refused to let Regulus take the nightshift on Sunday because Regulus had to get up and go to school Monday. Come morning, however, Regulus decided to go to the hospital instead. He thought Remus had looked rather miserable the day before.

Mrs. Lupin sat by his bedside and ran a hand softly over Remus' hair as Regulus walked in. Remus looked as thin as ever, lying with his eyes closed. She looked up, her face telling that she had not slept all night. She looked older than usual. "Regulus? Why aren't you at school?" she asked, trying to sound reproachful.

"I'm not going," he said, not bothering to make up a lie.

She sighed but didn't feel like arguing with him. She turned her attention back to her son and gently stroked his hair. "He panicked last night when he had trouble breathing and it was almost impossible to get him to relax again."

"Don't you have to go to work? Or go home to sleep?"

"I cancelled my patients. I could do with some sleep but I just don't feel like leaving him right now. What if he gets worse again?"

"Just go home and sleep. I'll look after him," said Regulus. "I promise to call if he gets worse."

o0o0o

"Uh-oh," said Peter and tapped Sirius' shoulder. "Look who's coming..."

Sirius and James turned to spot a visibly fuming Deputy Head Mistress marching towards them.

"Mr. Black! Did I not make it clear to you that your brother was expected to be back in school today?"

Sirius sighed. "You did, and I did deliver the message, but Remus got worse over the weekend so Regulus wanted to check on him. Can't really blame him for being compassionate, can you?" He sent her a wide smile but when she didn't seem to be susceptible to charm, he said, "I'll tell him to get his arse back to school tomorrow."

"You do that. And tell him that if he is not here tomorrow morning I will be forced to contact his parents. I have been very lenient with him, letting him stay away two whole days, and I do not like to be taken advantage of."

o0o0o

When Sirius came by after school, the first thing he noticed was a large piece of paper stuck to the toilet door reading: OUT OF ORDER!

"Your work?" he asked his brother, eying the sign. "Of course it's your work."

"Tired of fighting with everybody who wants to use it," said Regulus.

Sirius pulled out a handful of papers and lay them on the table for Regulus. "Homework from Binns, McGonagall and Flitwick."

"Thank you," said Regulus. "I'll get them done before tonight, then you can turn them in for me tomorrow."

"You're going back to school tomorrow, Reggie. I'm not your errand boy. McGonagall keeps breathing down my neck about you, and it isn't like you can't come visit Remus after school." He looked over at Remus who was sleeping. "He doesn't do much but sleep, does he?"

"Not much. That's one of the reasons I'm here all the time. I want to be here when he's awake. And he likes me being here, so I don't see what the problem is. It isn't as though the old bat needs me and I do all my homework in time - which is more than you can say about most of the others, so she can just shove her bitching up her bum."

"Then why don't you go tell her that and stop making me have to make up excuses for you?"

"Just tell her the truth. That I'm looking after a very ill student and that you can't force me, so you can't really do anything about it," said Regulus, picking at a loose thread on Remus' pillow

"Suite yourself," said Sirius, sitting down on a chair by the window. "But she's probably gonna call Mum and Dad about you."

Regulus gulped. "She wouldn't do that..."

"Don't kid yourself, Reggie. She's already been very lenient, but she means business now."

"Alright, alright, I'll come tomorrow," mumbled Regulus.

"Regulus..."

Both boys looked up and saw that Remus was awake, his eyes scanning the room to figure out who was there. He reached out a hand for the nightstand where a bottle of water stood along with a glass.

"Let me!" said Regulus and filled the cup, spilling half the water in his eagerness. "Good. You should drink a lot."

Remus smiled at him and lifted his head slightly as Regulus put the cup to his lips. He drank the whole cup without a break and his head fell back against the pillow, exhausted, when he was done.

Sirius got up from his seat and walked over to the bedside. He studied Remus for a moment and then said, "You look better," trying to sound convincing.

Remus sent him a weak smile and shook his head. "You're a terrible liar, Sirius," he coughed, covering his mouth with his hand.

"Sirius," hissed Regulus. "Don't stand so close. You could be carrying all sorts of stuff!"

"And what about you, yeah?" snapped Sirius. "Why are you allowed to stand close? You keep chasing everybody off, but you could be carrying stuff too!"

"I shower and put on clean clothes right before I leave the house and I bike here directly. I don't go anywhere where I'm likely to pick up germs and I don't rub myself against other people."

"Oh, and I go rubbing myself against people all day like some stray dog?" snapped Sirius.

"You go to school every day where you can pick stuff up. And you do rub yourself against people. Hugging and wrestling and all that rubbish."

Sirius was about to tell Regulus off but when he caught Remus' pleading look, he decided to leave it. "Fine!" he spat and took a few steps back. "Is this better? Or do I need to leave the bloody room?"

Regulus rolled his eyes. "Don't be such a drama queen. Jesus Christ," he said as he turned back to Remus.

Sirius crossed his arms and scowled at his brother but held his tongue. It was clear to him that Remus did not like to feel like he was lying in a warzone.

Remus took Regulus' hand and let their fingers intervene. "Have you been here all day again?"

"Since morning. I went here instead of school," said Regulus as though expecting to be praised for it, although he knew Remus felt bad about him missing school.

"Aren't you going to get in trouble for missing so much school?" Remus asked.

"He already is," mumbled Sirius and pulled up a chair. "But he insists on going here every day. Not that I blame him. We're all worried about you."

"Don't scare him, Sirius. He's getting well. It's just taking a while."

Remus nodded, giving Regulus' hand a gentle squeeze. He looked up at him with caring eyes. "I'm gonna miss you when you're not here," he said, not thinking about how it sounded. The last thing he wanted was for Regulus to get in trouble with school, but it was such a comfort when he was there every time he woke up.

"I'll be here whenever I'm not in school or sleeping," said Regulus, squeezing Remus' hand back.

"Hey, Remus," said Sirius. "I'll just go use the loo to give you lads a chance to kissy kissy."

"Not the one in here!" said Regulus.

"Yeah, I got the idea when I saw the big sign you plastered on the door," said Sirius and walked out into the corridor, closing the door behind him.

Remus smiled softly up at Regulus. "I do miss kissing you." He knew very well that Regulus would not kiss him as long as he was ill, but hearing Sirius mention kissing had made him miss Regulus' lips. He had almost forgotten what they felt like.

Regulus swallowed. "You know... you know why I don't want to kiss you, right? It's not because I'm afraid of your germs. The doctors say you aren't contagious."

"You're afraid that you'll make me even more ill…"

"Of course. It would be catastrophic for you to catch another infection while your body is already busy fighting this one. And although I don't go around putting my mouth where it doesn't belong, it's better to be safe than sorry."

"I know," nodded Remus. "But a bloke can dream."

Regulus bent down and planted a gentle kiss on Remus' forehead. "You'll have to do with this for now."

A/N: To see Zayhad's illustration to the chapter go to deviantart dot com and look up Zayhad. She has a folder in her gallery with the story's name on it.