Author's note: I apologize for this relatively short chapter, but I promise you it's one of the most important scenes in the whole story. Despite the shortness, the scene below was one the hardest to write so far. I went through over three drafts until I got it right.
I give my thanks to AceofAces for helping me get the dialogue and emotions right.
Pyrrha was used to going to the roof of the dorm building to talk, and sometimes train Jaune. Now, however, she relished in the solitude. Except for herself, the only people she knew were awake at the academy were the patrolling night guards, who were there as General Ironwood's standard security detail. The patrolling guards' secondary duty was to report and stop students from breaking curfew. Pyrrha did not worry about being discovered, for the guards were few and their patrol routes limited. She was not sure how long she had been sitting on the edge of the roof, for she had other things to think about than the passing of time.
She raised her head to look up. Not a single cloud could be seen amongst the countless stars glimmering like white gems. The moon crowning the dark sky seemed to be frozen in place. The magnificent CCT building towered over the academy. The silence was so gripping she could hear her own slow and steady breathing. Occasionally, she heard an owl hoot somewhere in the distance. Despite being surrounded by serenity, Pyrrha's troubled mind could find no semblance of peace.
She was ashamed for having snaked out of the dorm in the middle of the night, but after spending what seemed like endless hours staring at the ceiling while Nora quietly snored, she needed some fresh air to clear her head. She was glad that Nora was in deep enough of a sleep in order for her to sneak out. Hopefully, that did not change by the time she had to go back in.
She had come to find answers, and had so far only found doubt and confusion. Her countless thoughts buzzed around her head like a nest full of angry Rapier Wasps, leaving her with only more questions and uncertainty. Even though she had recently won a significant victory in her on-going war against her fear of drowning, she had unwittingly developed a new, irrational fear. She had become scared of Nora, not of Nora herself, but her friendly intimacy.
Why did you kiss me again, Nora? Was that just another of your shenanigans? Or is there something else behind it?
The first kiss had been spontaneous and teasing, as was typical of Nora. Pyrrha did not know how she knew how different that second kiss was. She just knew. Somewhere deep in her core, she just knew that kiss was special. It was just trying to figure out how it was different that was driving her absolutely out of her mind.
Pyrrha had gone over the intimate moments countless of times, trying to look at them from every way imaginable. There were so many variables, possibilities, and what-ifs. The more she thought about it, the more complex the mess grew, making it harder to find any answers. It was like trying to solve a Rubik's Cube that was fighting back.
Slowly and steadily, she guided her thoughts through the maze. Her efforts were eventually rewarded as the pieces began coming together, forming into a vague shape of an answer. Pyrrha wondered why she was feeling so worried in the first place.
Why am I worrying so much? Nora is simply… Nora. I should be accustomed to her behavior by now. I'm sure she will find new ways to randomly kiss or touch me.
It was the only conclusion she could think of. Her heavy thinking was disturbed by the sound of the door opening behind her. She gasped and whipped her head around, fearing that a night guard had found her.
"Peek-a-boo! I see you!" said Nora melodically as she peeked her head out. "What are you doing up here all by yourself?" she asked, stepping out and closing the door carefully behind her.
I sort of wish it had been a night guard, thought Pyrrha while smiling. "Oh, I couldn't sleep. Thought some fresh air might help," she explained. She could not openly tell Nora to leave, knowing that would raise suspicions. At worst, I'll make her upset.
Nora tilted her head and frowned. "Really? Thought you would sleep like a satisfied puppy after our victory at the pool. You had me so worried my poor tummy hurt," she whined, rubbing her stomach while moving over to Pyrrha.
"I'm sorry for scaring you. I didn't want to risk waking you up and suffer the Queen's wrath." Pyrrha chuckled. She shifted slightly as Nora sat down next to her. "How did know you know I was up here anyway?" she asked while gesturing to keep their voices down in order to not draw unwanted attention from sleeping students or the guards.
Nora nodded and excitedly replied in a hushed tone, "I used my awesome detective skills! I tracked your trail like a hungry predator!" After the small rush of pride erupted and faded quickly within, Nora continued with a lower voice, "It wasn't hard. I noticed your shoes, sweat pants, and a blanket were missing. Not many places you can go to while dressed like that."
"I see," Pyrrha said, pausing briefly. "You don't need to sit up here together with me. You can go back. I'll return shortly." She normally enjoyed spending time with Nora, but for once, she wished to be alone and continue thinking.
"Aww, are you so eager to get rid of me? How rude!" jested Nora with a giggle.
Pyrrha sighed within. Convincing a social girl like Nora to leave would not be easy with indirect methods. She gave it another try. "We need our rest. Jaune and Ren will return to the academy in several hours. We should meet them by the aerial harbor around eight in the morning. You want to reunite with them while having baggy eyes and yawning profusely?" Pyrrha asked. "Then there's the mandatory meeting in the amphitheater at nine for all students," she added.
As she had expected, the words glanced off Nora. "Hey, I'm still your partner, you know. It's a lovely night. Let's share it together, like the good partners we are," she suggested and inched herself closer to Pyrrha. "Got any more room behind that cozy blanket of yours?" she asked with a suggestive voice. "I feel cold. Maybe I need more than an extra blanket to keep me warm."
"I… guess there is."
As Pyrrha said that, Nora made herself comfortable by taking hold of half the blanket and putting it over her shoulders. "We should do something like this again. We can bring scented candles, some snacks, cold drinks and have a cozy night picnic! Gosh, why haven't we thought of it before? It's genius!" she said, raising her voice slightly in excitement.
"Yeah."
Nora frowned and turned to look at her. "Something wrong? Don't like scented candles? Hmm, maybe they'll give away our position."
Pyrrha gave her an apologetic look, smiling and saying, "Oh, no, I do like them. It's just that… I think part of my brain has fallen asleep."
Despite the awkward explanation, it seemed it was enough to convince Nora. "Don't go sleepy time just yet. Let's stay here for a few more minutes and enjoy the moment, together." As she said that, she put an arm around Pyrrha's waist and rested her head on her shoulder.
In normal cases, Pyrrha would have gladly shared a cozy moment together with Nora and a blanket underneath a beautiful night sky. However, this was not a normal case. Not anymore. A lot had changed for Pyrrha in a short amount of time. Things were still changing, threatening to overwhelm her.
Suddenly, Pyrrha removed the blanket from her shoulders and stood up, walking a couple of steps away with her back turned to Nora. "I'm sorry, but... I can't do this anymore," she said apologetically.
"Huh? Can't do what?"
"I…," Pyrrha took a breath to gather the necessary courage to speak her mind, "I… don't want you to touch or kiss me anymore."
"But… why not?"
Pyrrha turned to look at her. She must hear this face to face. She deserves it. "Because... you're a girl."
"Is... my gender a problem?" asked Nora, keeping up a nervous smile.
The question made Pyrrha look away, shifting her feet and twiddling her fingers. "I don't know," she said hesitantly. She had gone over the words many times in her head before Nora's unexpected arrival to the roof, but to actually express them was far more difficult than she had anticipated. "When you kissed me, I... I just didn't know what to feel. I still don't. None of this is making any sense. But I think I know I want to be touched and kissed by someone who loves me, not by a friend wanting to just play around."
Nora's smile vanished, her wide-open eyes staring at Pyrrha. Her lips trembled. "Ooh, I see," she said, averting her eyes away from her and scratching her head. "I'm sorry. I didn't… I didn't know you felt like that. Like… I'm super sorry, really."
As awkward as the apology sounded, it was still meaningful to Pyrrha. "Does that mean you understand what I'm saying then? Can we put this behind us?"
Nora nodded enthusiastically. "Sure! I promise I won't do it again! I'm glad you brought this up before I did something really stupid!"
Pyrrha felt her tension soften in response to Nora's agreement. "I'm glad that you understand." She let out a drawn out yawn, covering her mouth with her palm. "It's good that we had this talk, but I think we should head back to bed now. Oh, and speaking of which…" Nora looked at Pyrrha questioningly as she continued, "I'm sorry, again, but from now on I want to sleep in my own bed, alone."
"Right, right, totally right," said Nora in agreement.
"Good." With the matter settled, Pyrrha walked back to the door and pulled it open. She turned her head to Nora and asked, "Are you coming?"
Nora, however, remained sitting on the edge, keeping the blanket wrapped around her while looking up to the dark sky. "Nah, Pyrrha, I'll stay for a few minutes. Maybe I'll be super lucky and see a falling star. Then I get to have a wish! Maybe I'll choose an endless amount of pancakes, or candy, or lots of puppies!"
"Just don't take too long, okay? We might have a busy day ahead of us. In case I'm already asleep when you get back, I say good night."
"Nighty!" Nora waved while still keeping her back turned to her
Slowly, Pyrrha closed the door to not cause any unnecessary noises before she descended the stairs. Her way back to the dorm took longer than usual because her body felt heavy and sluggish, probably from tiredness. Inside the dorm, she changed back into her nightwear and slipped in beneath the bed sheets of her own bed instead of Nora's. Even though it had been her bed for several months and was identical to the others, her bed felt like it was no longer hers. It would take a while to get used to it again.
She let out a weary sigh. That went better than I hoped… I think at least. I did not expect Nora to agree so easily. She had hoped that being honest to Nora would make herself feel better, but instead she only felt worse.
If I did the right thing, then why do I feel like this? Am I overthinking things again? Some sleep should help. I hope I'll feel better tomorrow.
Thankfully, sleep came easily for her. The last thing she thought of before her mind drifted into unconsciousness was that Nora would be back soon and not fall asleep on the rooftop.
"Twinkle, twinkle, little star, how I wonder what you are," sang Nora to herself on the rooftop, looking up at the countless amount of stars. "Up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky. When the blazing sun is gone, when he nothing shines upon." Her grin was reduced into a thin smile.
After a sigh, she resumed, "Then you show your little light, twinkle, twinkle, all the night." As her head grew heavy from looking up into the sky, Nora lowered her gaze to look at the buildings around her instead. "Then the traveler in the dark thanks you for your tiny sparks. He could not see which way to go, if you did not twinkle so."
She paused to take a couple of deep breaths while twiddling her fingers. "In the dark blue sky you keep, and often through my curtains peep," she continued singing with a less merry voice, the last of her smile fading. "For you never shut your eye, till the sun is in the sky." She lowered her gaze further, staring down into her own lap, letting her short, orange hair hang down and frame her face.
Her lower lip began to tremble. "As… as your bright and t-t-tiny spark, lights the traveler in the… in the d-dark." As Nora reached the near end of her lullaby, her vision grew blurry. She felt wet beads roll down along the skin of her cheeks. One slid over her lips and into her mouth. It tasted salty. More beads appeared and dripped down, leaving dark and damp spots on her clothes.
"Though I know… not what you are," she whispered, and let out a stifled sob, "twinkle… twinkle…. little s-star." The last choking words were forced out of her throat.
Author's note: I look forward to hear your thoughts and reactions to what you just read.
As Pyrrha said, Jaune and Ren will return shortly, and join the story.