I always felt a bit uncomfortable being in Pearl's room. It wasn't because of her room being so personal, or because it was where she slept or anything like that. It was because everything was always set so neatly and perfectly around. It was how she was constantly smoothing down the blankets on her bed, even when she was sitting on it. I was afraid I would mess it up, so I usually stood around and never touched anything until she invited me to.

So of course, when I went upstairs to her bedroom, she was arranging things. She smiled and greeted me, and continued to arrange the items on her dresser in a perfect geometric pattern.

"So, Pearl, uh…" I swallowed hard. "I'd like to take you somewhere, if that's alright with you."

"Ooh, how interesting." She immediately abandoned her cleaning to pull on a coat. "Where are we going?"

"Somewhere important." I swallowed again, trying to bring moisture to my mouth, which was extremely dry. "You'll know when we get there."

"So it's like a surprise." She grinned and followed me downstairs and out the door. "How exciting."

So I led her off of the porch with a curt nod to her father, who nodded politely back, and I helped her onto my horse before climbing on myself. Our destination wasn't very far away, so I let my horse trot slowly on the path there. I knew she would enjoy the cloudless sky and the night of the new moon.

"You know there is a new moon tonight, don't you?" I asked her.

"Yes, of course." She laughed. "How couldn't I notice when there is no bright moon shining down on us? It's so dark when there are only stars to light our way. Look, I bet that is Mars right there." She pointed to the brightest star in the sky.

"Isn't that the north star?"

"I don't know. It's a bright light in the sky." She shrugged and pressed her face against my back. "I wonder what other planets are like. I hope they are beautiful."

"This planet is beautiful, why wouldn't another one be?"

"You're right, Jack." She yawned and she didn't say much more. Finally we reached the archway and fence that surrounded Beecher's Hope. "Oh, where is this? I've never been here before."

I didn't say anything as we approached the house and I helped her down from her horse. I had made sure the house was lit up and the fireplaces were blazing before I even considered bringing her there. I walked up the porch and opened the door for her, and she silently went inside. She looked around and suddenly I was aware of how dusty the place was. It had been years since it had been properly cleaned, and I was ashamed, but she didn't comment on it.

She glanced into what used to be my room, and then back at me, and then back into the room before stepping into it. She examined the paintings on the walls and the crumpled up papers that lay on my desk. She even noticed the traces of white hair on the end of my bed from Rufus long ago.

She then glanced into Uncle's room across from mine. There was still a case of beer and a pouch of chewing tobacco underneath his bed. She examined the dining room, and the kitchen. She glanced around the couches and the piano, and examined my parents' idea of decorating. Not a word was said the entire time.

Then she was in front of the door to my parents' room. She turned the doorknob as if it were made of glass and glanced inside. It looked the same as it had years ago. My parents' bed was still made and, although it was a bit dusty, it looked as if they could still walk in any moment. Pearl noticed a small picture sitting on the dresser. It was old and faded, but you could still make out two people standing together.

"You look like your father." Pearl said finally. "And your mother too. They are definitely your parents."

"Yeah." I replied, not knowing what else to say. When she was finished exploring, I took her back to the couch and we sat down. She was silent again. She wasn't a stupid girl, she knew I had something to say.

"So, uh, my father was an orphan. His mother was a prostitute and she died when he was born. He spent a few years with his father, but he died too, and my Pa was sent to an orphanage. He met my Ma there. No one ever adopted him or anything, and so he stayed there until he was too old and they got him to leave. He took my Ma with him because they were friends, and they went with a man who promised to take care of them." I sighed, rubbing my forehead. "So they were in a gang together. My Ma and Pa were. And my Ma was the whore for the whole gang. And they spent forever in that gang together, but even though my Ma was a whore, she only loved my Pa and my Pa only loved her. And then I happened."

"Jack, you don't have to-"

"No, let me finish." I sighed. "I was with the gang too, even though I was just a kid. You can't help it when you're raised around that stuff. You think it's okay, even when you know deep down that it isn't. And then my Pa got hurt one day and they left him to die. My Ma was so mad she could've spit fire, and my Pa and her decided that enough was enough, and they took me and they left. And for a while, we lived on the street, and then my Pa was made a good deal on this land here, cause the fellow who built the house died and didn't have anybody to give it to."

"So we moved in, and we started a ranch, and my Pa hired an old friend, Uncle, to help us. By that time my Ma was pregnant again and everything was okay. But something went wrong when she had my sister. The baby came out and she didn't breathe, and she wouldn't breathe, and she was cold and dead, and my mother screamed like I've never heard a woman scream in my entire life." I paused. "And my Pa took the baby and wrapped her up in a blanket and buried her right away. He didn't even tell us where, because my Ma was so sick over it that he was afraid she would go and dig the baby up."

"And after a while, my Ma got better, and we never talked about it again. And for a while, things were okay. And then one day, I went into the house cause I heard Ma screaming again, and there was a bunch of police officers there. They took me and my mother and they locked us away. I don't know where. We were locked away for months upon months and we didn't know how my Pa was. All we knew was that he had to go and find all the men from his old gang before we could see him again."

"And then one day we were sent home, and my Pa came home. He had killed all the men from his gang just like he was asked, and we were allowed to go back to normal. And everything was okay again. He wasn't home for a week before an entire army swarmed Beecher's Hope, this property right here, and they killed Uncle, and they killed my dog, and they killed my father."

"It was horrible. It was just my Ma and I here. I tried so hard to support us, but I was just a boy and I was alone. All the cattle either died or were stolen. The horses ran off. The chickens all died too. My Ma got sick and we didn't have any money for a doctor. I tried to get her medicine but it cost so much that we just couldn't afford it. She got sicker and sicker, and finally she died in her bed. I buried her out behind the barn, next to my Pa and Uncle, and Rufus too."

"And I was alone, and I was angry about it. There was no blood in my body, only rage pumping through my heart, and I read in the newspaper about a man named Edgar Ross who was in charge of bringing my father to justice. So I got all of my father's guns and I set out to find him. I went all the way to Mexico and I found him. I spoke to him, and I had a duel with him, and I killed him. And after that, there was no anger. There was only loneliness, because I guess the part of me that was still a child thought that if I killed Edgar Ross, my family would come back. Well, they didn't. It's been almost a year since my mother died, and they aren't back, and they aren't coming back."

When I turned to look at her, she was looking back at me. Her eyes weren't wet with tears, and I was thankful for that. She reached forward and embraced me. Her hands pressed firmly against my back, and her head tucked into my shoulder, and it was the most comforting gesture I had received in a very long time. So I wrapped my arms around her and held her back, and we sat there like that for a moment before respectively pulling away.

"I'm okay." I told her, and myself. And she smiled at me, and in her smile was everything I could've possibly hoped for. There was no pity, or anger, or resentment. There was only kind sympathy, and admiration, and affection.

"You're alright." She cupped my face in her hands. "Jack, you're alright." And so I did what I thought was right and I kissed her.