Chapter Sixteen: Understanding
"That's great," Lucy smiled, "I figured you two would end up together."
"Thanks," Kinana had a slight blush on her pale cheeks. "We've been dating for a while now, but we're trying to take it slow..."
"Unlike this girl," Erza nudged Levy with her elbow. "She got engaged and married so fast we barely had time to plan for the wedding."
The group of women were gathered inside Mira's house. Lucy wanted to look around for Natsu, but she knew it would be no use. He was somewhere outside, probably in the same place they left the guys about twenty minutes ago. She didn't have a watch so she had no idea how much time had passed. She could always look at her phone to check the time, but it seemed rude, so the device stayed in her pocket.
"How was your trip by the way?" Juvia asked.
"It was fun," Levy nodded. "We did some hiking, some swimming... And of course there was the cabin... It was so beautiful." Her eyes shined just thinking about it. "Oh! And we saw a doe give birth!"
Lisanna gasped. "Really? How was that?"
"It was pretty cool actually," Levy laughed, "if you get past all the gross stuff that came out along with the baby. Gajeel was so cute. You should have seen it! His eyes were wet, like he was about to cry!"
Everyone laughed, except for Lucy. She was too busy trying to ignore the slight pain in her heart from the talk about birth. She had gotten used to this type of conversation while being married to Jackal. He would bring her to social gatherings, keeping her as a 'trophy wife', but she would somehow always get stuck talking to the other wives of businessmen there.
The topics of conversation were usually their husbands, their newest purchases, and children. Even though she had harden part of her heart to deal with the subject, being surrounded by her old friends was making her emotional. She didn't know how long she could keep up her nonchalant facade.
"Of course he tried to make it seem like it was no big deal. I swear he's just a big teddy bear on the inside." Levy shook her head. "He even talked to me about adopting a kitty. He said he saw one in the shelter before we left, so he wants to go back tomorrow to see if it's still there. I swear, he's even softer than me sometimes."
Of course he is," Mira joked. The white haired woman glanced around, seeing a few hands empty. "Does anyone want a drink? Bisca? Lucy?"
"I'm the DD tonight," Bisca said, declining a drink.
Mira's attention was now directed at Lucy, not noticing the way her voice strained a bit as she answered. "Uh, no thanks. I don't feel like drinking tonight." It wasn't a lie, she really didn't want to drink. She was never all that good at it anyway, but that wasn't the main reason she said no. She wanted to be supportive of Natsu, even if he was out of view at the moment.
"Oh, okay," Mira smiled, then looked over at Evergreen. "So, I hear Elfman popped the question. Does that mean I get to arrange an engagement party too?"
Lucy vaguely listened as Evergreen started talking about how Elfman asked her to marry her now that they were both done with college. The conversations about getting engaged or college started to weigh heavily on Lucy's heart. She never got to experience going to school, trying to do something better with her life. She was stuck at Jackal's estate. She couldn't even count it as home since it never felt that way. The engagement part really struck a chord with her. She'd only been engaged once, and it was to that horrid man.
She liked to think one day Natsu would propose to her, but that was just giving herself false hope that she really didn't need right now. Lucy knew she should just be happy that he was willing to be with her. How many other guys would want to be with 'damaged goods'?
Lucy felt her eyes prick when she added as an after-thought, 'especially one that can't give him kids... He's probably better off without me holding him back...'
She blinked rapidly, trying to will the tears away. She couldn't cry in front of her friends, but even that thought had her rattled. 'They're still my friends... right?' Lucy had gone through so much self-doubt lately. She really just needed to know that they would still be her friends even after she basically abandoned them for her new life in Crocus.
Seeing their smiling faces and hearing how easy it was for them to talk to her gave her a little reassurance. If they didn't want to include her they would be more closed off, just like the women she'd encountered over her past few years when she was forced to attend social gatherings with Jackal.
No, these were definitely her friends. No time apart would change that.
Lucy swallowed past the small lump that had formed in her throat. She had to get a hold of herself or else they might suspect something was wrong with her. Lucy tried to ignore the way her heart beat a little faster from her troubled thoughts as she focused on what the girls were talking about. It proved to be a bad decision when Lisanna mentioned, "yeah, they're a handful."
"What's a handful?" Lucy asked, wishing she could take back her question once Lisanna answered.
"Oh, my kids." She smiled at Lucy, not noticing the slight tick in her cheek. "You'll see what I mean someday."
Lucy felt the air leave her lungs in an instant. 'No... No I won't.' She wanted to say, but her mouth was sealed shut. It wouldn't be so bad if that was the only thing said, but it soon got worse. Lucy wanted to move away from the conversation, but her feet remained frozen, forcing her to listen.
"Juvia knows what you mean," the blue haired woman spoke up. "Our children are always clinging to Gray's legs when he goes to work. Juvia swears one day he'll just leave with them and not even notice."
The girls laughed while Lucy panicked. Her mind screamed danger, to leave this conversation before it got too bad. If only she would have listened to her own advice. If only her feet would fucking move!
"Juvia sometimes misses being pregnant," Juvia pouted, touching her flat belly. "She could get Gray to do almost anything for her..."
Lucy hoped this conversation would switch soon, but luck wasn't on her side. The tears were already welling up, but no one noticed.
"Gajeel and I have talked about maybe starting to try for kids soon," Levy said, "but we want to wait a little bit. You know, really enjoy being married before we have to share our time."
Erza nodded, then said, "it's perfectly normal to want to wait. Jellal and I already discussed it. We'd like to wait at least a year or so before trying."
Lucy's mind swirled out of control. She almost lost herself in her thoughts, until something tore her away. She looked down when she finally noticed a pain. Her left wrist was red and puffy from where she'd been scratching herself without her even knowing it. She hadn't broken the skin yet, but at this rate it wouldn't be long. Lucy's panicking only increased when she realized she was falling back into her bad habit. If she couldn't even handle normal girl talk, how was she supposed to function in the real world?
"What about you, Lucy?"
Lucy's watery eyes shot up, but she didn't know who asked the question until she saw Kinana's mouth moving. She didn't hear the next thing she said, only guessing that it had something to do with their conversation about pregnancies and children.
When Lucy didn't respond Kinana asked again, and this time Lucy heard part of it. "...are you trying to get preg..."
Only one thought came to Lucy's mind at that moment, drowning out the sounds of talking... music... everything...
'Find Natsu!'
"I'll be right back," Lucy said before stepping away. She didn't hear them ask her if she was alright since her feet moved her away from them quickly. She took long strides, seeking out the exit. Engagements, colleges, weddings, birth, and kids... It was too much for her to handle right now. All she wanted was to go find Natsu and have all the thoughts vanish. He was such a comforting presence to her, knowing exactly how fucked up she was. She didn't need to pretend with him, and right now she needed that now more than ever.
Lucy walked out of the back door, looking around until she saw where the girls had left the guys earlier. She noticed Elfman had joined them, but she couldn't hear what they were talking about since she was so far away. Her eyes zeroed in on that pink hair. It was all she needed to give her the strength to continue walking.
She was only a few feet away when she spoke. "Natsu?" Her voice sounded quieter than she hoped it would, showing just how beaten down she felt after listening to the girls talk about things 'normal people' experience in life. She just wanted to be near Natsu, hoping he could make her pain go away.
Lucy watched him turn, then saw the pain in his green eyes when he looked at her. She felt mentally exhausted from the conversation, and seeing Natsu made her feel like everything would be fine, until she saw the frown that tugged on his lips. Her eyes wandered on their own, drifting from his face to see a can of beer in his hand.
When she noticed the can was opened, she parted her lips. "Wh-what are you doing?"
She saw the turmoil in his eyes. Lucy easily saw Natsu was suffering right now. It didn't look like he was proud of his actions, just the opposite actually. He looked honestly ashamed of himself, striking her heart with pain as well.
He couldn't resist alcohol just like she couldn't resist hurting herself. They were just alike, yet also different.
Just as she was about to ask him if they could talk in private, he dropped his head, mumbling under his breath. "I'm sorry, Luce."
It took Lucy a moment to collect herself. He was apologizing? She shook her head, stepping up to place a hand on his bandaged cheek. "I forgive you," she said in an instant, not wanting him to suffer for another second. "I understand."
Natsu opened his eyes, looking down to see the scratches on her wrist. She didn't try to hide it from him. In fact she was presenting them so he could see, so he would know he wasn't alone.
"I know you're not going to have a perfect recovery," she spoke quietly so only he could hear. "Just like mine won't be perfect either..."
Natsu's eyes softened before he looked up at her, seeing the tears that shined in her eyes. He didn't think about it, he just wrapped her in a hug, careful to keep the beer that spilled on his shirt away from her and keep to his good side to avoid any pain to his ribs. He just needed to hold her, to feel her comforting presence.
They stayed like that for about a minute, neither saying anything as they hugged it out. They didn't need to say anything to understand how they felt. Part of recovery meant forgiveness, not only for others but for themselves as well. It wasn't going to be an easy process, so there was no point in acting like it would be.
Their peaceful moment was broken by the sound of a drunk man. Elfman tapped Natsu on the shoulder rather roughly, probably unaware of his own strength. "What's going on? This isn't very manly."
Natsu let out some air through his nose, then slowly pulled away from Lucy. He handed the beer can to Gray since he was standing the closest to him. "I umm," Natsu gulped, feeling anxiety bubbling up. His chest tightened as he reached into his pocket, seeking the thing that could give him some strength. "I have some news..."
He looked down at Lucy, seeing the woman nod at him for support. Knowing Lucy was there helped calm him down, but definitely didn't make it easier. It only let him know he still had someone who was guaranteed to stay by his side after revealing the truth.
The guys watched as Natsu pulled out a small white chip. "I'm... I'm gonna try g-giving up drinking..." Everyone's eyes widened at that news, stunned silent, each thinking something different about what they just heard. Natsu worried that they were judging him, but it didn't take long before they ended those troubled thoughts.
Jellal was the first to step up, patting Natsu on the shoulder. "That's very admirable of you. I wish you luck."
"Th-thanks," Natsu's voice wavered, a little shocked that he took it well.
Gajeel followed suit, but he didn't move from his spot. "Congratulations. Hope you succeed." There was no teasing in his tone, only respect for Natsu's decision.
Gray's jaw was slack, realizing that Natsu was trying to give up drinking and he had personally told him one beer wouldn't hurt. "I'm so sorry for what I said earlier," he blurted out, catching Natsu's attention. "Uhh, I'm really-really proud of ya..."
Natsu felt his heart warm. The three guys he was closest to -besides his dad and older brother- were happy about his choices. They didn't look at him with disgrace in their eyes, only support. It made things even better when Elfman spoke up.
"Natsu, I'm so sorry." The large man took a step up, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I promise I didn't know, if I did I never would have offered."
"It's fine," Natsu assured him. "You couldn't have known if I didn't tell you..." He felt his face heat up, embarrassed to have everyone staring at him. "Hey... If you guys don't mind, could you keep this between us?"
The men all looked at each other, a knowing glint in their eyes before they nodded. "We can do that," Gray moved in to give Natsu a hug. Lucy stepped aside, letting Natsu's best guy friend embrace him. "If you ever need my help don't hesitate to call. I mean it. I don't care what time it is or if I got something going on, you let me know."
Natsu's face really flushed at hearing that. "Th-thanks, umm, I will..." He glanced over at Lucy, seeing a wane smile on her lips. He could tell she was happy for him, glad it worked out so well. He felt a little sad knowing she wouldn't exactly get the same praise if she told her friends what was going on in her life.
Drinking and cutting were two completely different things, even if they were both used to sooth pain. Drinking was more socially acceptable, and there were multiple programs to help deal with it, but cutting... It was something that was often associated with mental problems, so he knew it would be tougher to have Lucy admit that to her friends.
When the hug ended Natsu said he wanted to talk to Lucy for a minute alone. The guys nodded, saying they understood. Before he left, Gajeel handed him a can of root beer, saying he went and got it when Gray and Natsu were hugging. Natsu thanked him, knowing he might have a better chance at curbing his urges if he drank something.
As Natsu and Lucy walked away from the party to the edge of Mira's backyard, he opened the root beer, taking a sip. It definitely wasn't as satisfying as a beer would have been, but it would have to do. Natsu knew he had a long way to go, but as long as he kept one foot in front of the other he could get better.
There wasn't a place for them to sit, so they stood. Sitting on the ground really wasn't the best idea since it would hurt Natsu's ribs, plus the ground was somewhat damp. Neither made eye contact for a few moments, just letting the distant sound of the music fill in the silence around them.
Finally, Natsu asked softly, "why'd you scratch yourself?"
Lucy stared at the ground, not wanting to meet his eyes. "I just... I don't know." She looked up at him, hurt flashing through those brown orbs. "The girls... They were talking about b-babies..."
Natsu flinched, but said nothing as she continued. "... I guess I just couldn't handle it... Then Kinana asked me... Well, I think she asked me when I was going to get pregnant... It just all happened so fast. I just wasn't ready to face that so soon. I thought I'd have time before I'd have to explain myself," she sighed, tears lining her eyes. "I don't know if I even want to tell them the truth. It's so personal, and I'm honestly ashamed of myself... of my body."
Lucy paused before finally telling him the real reason she felt so awful. "I'm scared I'm just a disappointment to you. I... I can't have kids, and if you chose to be with me you can never be a father... I just-"
Lucy was cut off when she felt warm arms wrap around her. Natsu dropped the half-filled can of root beer on the ground to hug Lucy. He rested his chin on the crown of her head, ignoring the throbbing in his side as he embraced his girlfriend. "It's okay," he said, letting his eyes drift closed. He couldn't tell her he wasn't disappointed, because a part of him was, but he didn't blame her for that. She had no control over what her body was or wasn't capable of doing.
"The guys were talking to me about marriage and kids and stuff, and I just kinda lost myself," he breathed, fingers twitching against the fabric of her shirt. "I figured drinking would make things easier, but if that past is anything to go on, it'll just delay dealing with my troubles."
The two remained silent for a moment, letting all that sink in before Natsu started again. "Look. I know this isn't the right time," he already hated himself for bringing it up, especially now. He just really wanted to know. He needed to know. If there wasn't a chance, he needed to prepare himself. "But are you willing to adopt?"
Lucy didn't respond. Instead she brought her hands up, clutching the back of his shirt as her hands started trembling.
Natsu panicked, worried that he crossed a line. Their relationship was delicate. One wrong move or poorly planned question could shake the already broken foundation they shared. However, he had to be up front with his desires. It wouldn't be fair to go on with false hope.
Feeling his heart sink, he said, "honestly... I want to have a kid." He felt Lucy tense in his arms, so he quickly added, "but I'm okay with not conceiving one of my own. There's adoption, also surrogates... though that cost money... Then again you have some money now," Natsu instantly cringed. "Not saying I'm trying to tell you how to spend your money! I'd never do that. Gah, I'm just fucking this all up, aren't I?"
He felt her pull away, so he loosened his grip. He expected tears, or maybe a slap to the face, but he was only met with soft brown eyes. She opened her mouth, but she hesitated before saying, "I'm willing to consider those options..."
Natsu couldn't help but hug her again. Her answer was exactly what he needed in that moment. It wasn't a yes, but she didn't outright reject the ideas. He felt Lucy hugging him back, the trembling in her hands had lessened now. He smiled, hoping that this was a step in the right direction for their relationship. "That's all I can ask for."
The two remained hugging for several more minutes, neither wanting to pull away from the other. They drew strength from being together. It had always been like that, even when they were younger. Of course they always played it off as being best friends, but they knew. There had always been more than friendship between them.
They mumbled, holding a conversation without moving. Natsu breathed in the scent of his body wash on her skin, letting it sooth him as he spoke. He didn't know if bringing it up would be wise given their current situation, but he figured he should throw it in there.
"Hey Luce..." He started, feeling her hum in response. Natsu took a deep breath, fighting off a wince as he said, "I think we should sign up for couple's counseling..."
Instead of asking why, or denying that they needed it, Lucy nodded. "I think that's a good idea," she whispered, hoping it would help. "It's worth a shot."
"Yeah..." He smiled, happy she agreed. With as many problems as they had between them, it couldn't hurt to seek outside help from a professional. Maybe this would be a healthy way to deal with their issues, even though most of their issues didn't actually have to do with each other.
The party raged in the background as the couple held each other. Lucy could hear shouting, laughing, and the sound of splashing. She guessed someone jumped into the pool, but that sounded stupid considering it was cold outside. "I don't know if I want to go back," she muttered, hoping she wouldn't put a damper on his mood. "It's kind of scary facing our friends again after so long..."
Natsu nodded, understanding what she meant. "Plus there's a lot of alcohol at this party..." His unspoken words were heard. He was worried he would be tempted again. Unless they stayed glued to each other for the rest of the night, they would probably lose their self-control.
"Maybe... We should..." Lucy started.
Natsu finished, "go back to our place?"
Her heart slammed against her rib cage. 'Our place!' She had to fight the tears that formed, feeling a fluttering in her stomach similar to butterflies. "Yeah. I think that's a good idea."
"We can always see our friends another time," Natsu added. "Maybe without all the alcohol, and with less people..." He could see how Lucy felt overwhelmed. He felt that way too since it'd been so long since he attended a social gathering. The struggle of holding normal conversations in that environment wasn't healthy for two addicts. It was weighing heavily on their self-control.
They stayed wrapped up in each other's arms for a few more minutes, just enjoying the closeness between them. Eventually they parted. Lucy grabbed the spilled can on the ground before heading back. When they finally went back to the guy's group they found some of the girls had joined them. Before Natsu or Lucy could get a word out, Levy suggested they all go inside and talk for a bit in private. Natsu looked down at Lucy, seeing if she had any complaints. She didn't, saying that would be nice, but they'd have to be leaving soon.
As they walked inside, Natsu told the group some of the truth. He said they were tired and a little overwhelmed with seeing everyone again. No one challenged his claims since it was clear on both of Natsu and Lucy's faces that they weren't really in the moment. To the outsiders, it looked like they were on cruise control.
Natsu, Lucy, Gray, Juvia, Gajeel, Levy, Jellal, and Erza sat at Mira's dining room table. Gray left, only to come back with a deck of cards. As they casually played a few games of poker, everyone chatted. Once the topic of children was brought up again Lucy grabbed Natsu's hand, using him as moral support until the topic switched to something else.
Natsu hadn't been a social butterfly since Lucy left four years ago, but tonight he seemed pretty active in their conversation. He asked questions, directed the flow of topics strategically around their friend's offspring, and made sure the focus wasn't on what happened to Lucy over the past few years. Besides Lucy, no one knew why Natsu was being so talkative, just accepting that they had a glimpse of the old Natsu back.
It was refreshing, especially when they started talking about their high school days. That was a subject Lucy could actually participate in. Stories were shared about how Natsu and Gray always got in fist fights, how Erza always had to break them up, how Levy and Lucy had to pull Natsu and Gajeel away from doing stupid things that would most likely get them injured, and of course they had to talk about the time Juvia threatened to cut off Jellal's 'family jewels' because he fell once and landed on Gray's lap.
Overall it turned out to be a fun night. No alcohol was brought to the table since the other guys suggested everyone stopped drinking for the rest of the evening. The girls questioned them, but not enough to raise suspicion. Natsu was thankful. It was just what he needed to relax.
Well, that and have Lucy by his side. He still felt bad about his slip up earlier, but at least he knew Lucy was there to help him out if he needed it. It also felt good that he was there to provide comfort for her when she needed it to. It gave him a sense of purpose that had been missing from his life for so long.
Between Erza announcing that she got a full house and Levy groaning that she lost again, Natsu leaned over, planting a warm kiss to Lucy's temple. Said girl blushed, just like a teenager would if she received her first kiss. The two ignored the 'aawww's and 'ooohhh's from their friends as they gazed into each other's eyes.
Natsu had a huge grin on his face, drawing out a smile from Lucy in the process. 'Yeah,' he thought, admiring the woman he loved. He seized her hand, giving it a soft squeeze. 'As long as we have each other, we'll be alright.'
Natsu and Lucy slowly entered their apartment. Their eyes were hooded with peaceful smiles on their faces. The night had gone pretty well, all things considering, but they were both feeling tired.
As Lucy went to the bathroom to get ready for bed, Natsu poured a can of wet food out for Happy. The little blue feline came running to the bowl, then stared up at him as if to say, "what the hell is this?"
Natsu chuckled, scratching the little guy's chin. "Sorry buddy, I forgot to get some real fish today. This'll have to do for now."
The cat let out what sounded almost like a groan, but he eventually dipped his head to eat his meal. Mindful of his broken ribs, Natsu stood up, then went over to the fridge to grab a bottle of water. If Lucy had a nightmare tonight he would be prepared.
Natsu entered the bathroom just as Lucy was leaving. They shuffled around, laughing when they kept getting in each other's way. "Here," he placed his hands on her shoulder, then stepped to the side. "Now you may pass."
"Why, thank you," she did a small curtsy, her hand lingering on his arm a few extra seconds before she walked away, a soft smile resting on her lips.
He grinned, counting himself lucky to have Lucy back in his life. After brushing his teeth and relieving himself, Natsu went to the bedroom. Lucy was laid out on the bed, clad in only one of his button-up shirts.
His lips parted to ask what she was doing, but she easily entranced him when she rose to her knees. "I was wondering if maybe you wanted to have sex?" Lucy sounded confident, but he could tell it was a facade. Her face was flushed, her hands clutching the ends of his shirt, and her teeth started chewing on her bottom lip.
"God you're cute," he leaned against the door, his body already getting warmer from the sight. He took in a deep breath, then immediately winced in pain. "Damn it."
Lucy released her bottom lip, a frown tugging at her features. "Oh, if it's too much trouble we can just-"
Natsu shook his head, cutting her off. "Trust me, I really really wanna fuck ya."
She didn't think her face could get any hotter, but here she was with her face feeling like it was set ablaze. His crude talk somehow lit a fire in her belly.
He gently placed a hand over his sore spot, wondering how they could do this without it hurting. Laying on his back was the best bet, but the constant motion caused the bed to move, which in turn hurt his ribs regardless.
"I have an idea," Lucy spoke up, drawing Natsu away from his thoughts. "What if you lie on the floor?"
"The floor?" He glanced down, wondering how that might help. Then it dawned on him. There wouldn't be any movement from her actions, so the only pain he would feel during sex would be from when he tensed his muscles. "I guess it's worth a shot."
Lucy smiled, happily getting off the bed to help him get on the ground. To make things easier Natsu got naked before starting. It hurt for him to bend, but Natsu played through the pain, carefully getting down on his back while trying to ignore the stabbing sensation in his side.
Lucy proved to be patient, waiting until he was relaxed before making her move. She crawled between his spread legs, slowly running her hands over his thighs before bringing them near his half-hard penis.
Instead of touching him there, she decided to warm him up first. Her hands moved against his body, going up his torso -avoiding his bruised side, and to his firm pecs. Natsu let out a low groan when she flicked over his nipples, then let out a surprised gasp when he saw her move over him. She straddled his hips, keeping the majority of her weight off him by pressing her knees harder into the floor.
Her mouth moved over his, capturing the man in a heated kiss. Natsu's hands came up, grabbing at the soft flesh of her arms before he went to undo the shirt. Lucy didn't protest the action. Her eyes fluttered shut as she licked across his lips, seeking permission. He granted it without a second thought, heart racing when he felt her slide her tongue into his mouth.
Bracing herself with her left hand, she used her right one to trace down his body until she slowly curled her fingers around his half-hard cock. One stroke was all it took for him to start growing. She felt the heat in his member as she rubbed from base to tip.
"Mmmmm," Natsu moaned into her mouth. He closed his eyes, savoring the sweet feeling of her hands on him as she brought his cock to life. He'd missed her so much over the years. No other touches compared to the softness of her hands, the way she kissed him as if she needed him. It wasn't just desire in her touches, it was love, and love felt better than anything he'd ever had before.
Natsu pushed the opened shirt off her shoulders, seeing she wasn't wearing a bra underneath. She didn't remove her hand from his cock, so he settled for leaving the shirt hanging off her arms. His hands came up, palming her generous breasts with a roughness that made her whimper.
The first wince came when she swiped over his tip. His stomach muscles tensed, his eyes screwing shut as he tried to focus on the pleasure and not the pain. "L-Lucy!" He moaned, keeping himself in the moment.
Lucy quickly covered his mouth again, not allowing another word to escape the hot cavern her tongue was currently exploring. She tasted the natural flavor of his mouth combined with root beer. She was so proud of him for not taking a drop of alcohol, even if she had to be there to stop him. But that was only part of recovery. There were bound to be slip ups and fall backs, but she wouldn't leave him. She would stand by his side through it all, just like she knew he would be with her when she started her recovery process.
Lucy sucked on his tongue roughly, her hips bucking against nothing when she felt him rub her nipples. She was extra sensitive there. She didn't know if it was from her large breasts or just something she was born with, but she couldn't complain either way. Especially with the way he tugged on them between his fingers.
"Naahhh-" She briefly tore her lips away from his, panting as she moaned before kissing him again. Lucy desperately wanted to rut against him, but she knew that might cause him more pain. She could see the way his face tensed up already, so she didn't want to add to it if she could avoid it.
Deciding she didn't want to risk it, Lucy hesitantly climbed off him. It took Natsu a second to register that she had stopped touching him, his mind fuzzy and his eyes glossy. "Wha? What are you- Oh, fuck yes!"
Natsu moaned when he felt Lucy's tongue slither over his cock. She lapped up the pre-cum leaking from the head before taking him in her mouth. A groan tore from his throat when she bobbed her head, but she didn't know if he was in pain or not. As long as he didn't tell her to stop she would continue, especially since she felt one of his large hands grab the back of her head to fist some locks of her golden hair.
Lucy hummed around his cock, her eyes on his chin since he was facing the ceiling. She loved the sounds he made, so she went deeper, letting him hit the back of her mouth before it touched the opening of her throat.
Natsu desperately wanted to buck into her, but that would bring on more pain. Instead he decided to push her head down, letting his cock drown in her saliva. She felt amazing, and when the tip slid into her throat he nearly choked up.
"Nggh, gah! F-fuck!" Natsu's fingers weaved deeper into her hair, pushing and tugging so he could fuck that narrow passage. "Your mouth feels sooo fucking good!"
Lucy had to relax her throat. She breathed through her nose as best she could, tears lining her eyes as she felt her gag reflexes about to act up. She fought off the urge to cough. The main thing keeping her going was the way Natsu reacted to her. She felt the twitching of his erection, heard the gasps of pleasure mixed with pain from her lover, and smelled the musk of his body. She used a hand to rub the part of his cock that wouldn't fit into her mouth.
Lucy didn't know it, but Natsu was also in tears. The pain was growing, but the feeling of her mouth wrapped around his cock was too intense to pass up. He whimpered when she started going faster, his free hand balling into a fist as he tried not to flex his muscles. It was no use, his muscles contracted, keeping him away from an orgasm that would have surely hit if his broken ribs weren't holding him back.
"Aahhh, y-yesss," Natsu hissed as he ground the back of his head into the carpet. His breaths came out in puffs, trying to enjoy just the sensation of her sucking him off. "F-feels... so good..." He growled when her tongue flickered over his shaft, her throat still taking the tip of him in. The sounds of slurping and moaning filled the room. "Sooo god damn good!"
Lucy tried smiling, but her mouth couldn't form the expression with Natsu's cock shoved in her throat. She gagged a few times when he went in too deep or at a weird angle, but since she was in control of the speed and penetration that didn't happen very often. She tried to make it comfortable for herself as well.
She tasted the salty flavor that came with his pre-cum. Seeing that he was already leaking this much, she decided to end the blowjob so she could get some pleasure too. Natsu bit back protests that were dancing on the tip of his tongue as he felt her leave his member.
He opened an eye, shifting his head to look down. His breath caught in his throat when he saw her stripping the shirt off. "You're so beautiful," he murmured, stuck in a new trance. No matter how many times he saw her clothed or naked, he would still be impressed.
Her cheeks filled with a blush, but she said nothing as Natsu watched her climb on top of him, her amazing tits swaying with every motion. She was mindful of his injuries, keeping her legs further away from that part of his body. When she met his gaze, seeing that intense glint in his eyes, her entire face flushed with a light pink color that spread down to her chest. Her eyes moved to his firm pecs, scared to look him in the eyes again. His look was just so powerful.
"Hey," Natsu said softly, startling Lucy despite his efforts to be quiet.
"Wh-what?" Her eyes flitted back to his, the pink around her cheeks darkening. Her knees finally landed on the ground when she found a position she was more comfortable in, then waited for his answer.
Natsu brought up a hand, placing it on her thigh, feeling a scar under his fingertips. "If you don't want to do this, you don't have to." He rubbed at her skin with his thumb, sending goosebumps through the area. "I promise I don't mind if you don't want to."
Lucy didn't know why, but Natsu seemed to think she was hesitant. After thinking about it for a few seconds she guessed it made sense. After that horrible dream last night, then getting the news that her divorce was 'delayed', she could see how it would be hard to get in the mood for sex. The events at the party didn't help either.
However, seeing that kindness in his dark green eyes and the soft smile that graced his lips had her melting on the inside. She was already ready, but now she felt her heart warm from his consideration.
Lucy leaned in, her hair acting like a curtain as she kissed him on the lips. It was one-sided at first, but soon Natsu was kissing her back, his hand coming up to tangle into her golden locks again, this time without any tugging. He just wanted to savor the feeling of her smooth lips against his own.
As Lucy parted her lips to deepen the kiss, one of her hands came down to grasp his cock as her eyes closed. Natsu let out a moan when he felt her bring the tip to her entrance. He was about to break the kiss to ask her if she was sure she wanted sex, but all thoughts of asking died when she sunk onto his cock slowly, surrounding him with the tight walls of her core. When he was all the way in she paused. She was wet, but not as wet as he knew she needed to be, but he felt her body relaxing the longer they kissed, producing more of her natural lubricant.
Lucy stayed in her position for a moment, not moving a muscle below her waist as she adjusted to his size. Her stomach fluttered, her heart pounded, but her eyes stayed nice and dry. She didn't feel any bit of hesitance or remorse, knowing Natsu wouldn't pressure her into anything. It only made her desire this man more, wanting him to see just how much she admired and appreciated him.
Lucy felt Natsu's hand leave her hair as they kissed. His hot fingers trailed down her neck, ran over her side, then paused at her hip. He waited another few seconds before reaching to touch her clit, eliciting a whimper from the woman on top of him.
When he didn't hear any protests after another pause, he went to work, playing with her bundle of nerves to help her get wet. It worked pretty well. Natsu could feel her walls glide over his cock when Lucy's body jerked, her moans filling his mouth since she refused to end the kiss.
Before Natsu knew it Lucy was moving, lifting herself up only to fall back down on his cock. He groaned, half in pleasure and half in pain. His eyes slammed shut as he tried to focus more on the feeling of her walls wrapped around him. She was definitely wet now, filling his heart with pride that he was able to get her to relax that much from his touches.
He continued playing with her clit, wanting to keep the momentum going. Lucy had to break the kiss, her moans tumbling from her lips far too often to keep it up. She sat up straight, using her knees to keep up the rhythm.
Natsu forced an eye open, not wanting to miss the sight of Lucy bouncing on his cock. It was incredible, watching her face twist in pleasure and her breasts heave with every thrust as she fucked him. After a few minutes she was already getting overwhelmed. She tried to remain in control, but it was useless as she reached her first climax. Her walls convulsed around him, causing him to lose focus for a moment.
"Aaahh," Lucy called out, her hands falling to the floor to support herself as she let the pleasure consume her. "Na-Nat-suu!"
She picked up her speed, impaling herself harder and faster than before. Natsu clenched his muscles, only to bring him more pain. Natsu wanted to hold out longer. He wanted Lucy to come undone once more, because she was so beautiful when she let go.
"I missed you," Natsu growled, fingers rubbing small circles over her nub. Even if he'd been with her for a week, his mind and heart still missed her. Being separated for years was torture, but it was over now. Lucy was his, he was Lucy's, and they could finally be together.
She leaned down, her body weight being supported by her elbows and knees. She kissed him rather roughly, taking him by surprise when her tongue was shoved into his mouth.
Lucy traced her tongue over his, tasting his mouth as she hummed, her inner walls clamping around him for a second when she felt him move his tongue against hers. She flickered her tongue over the roof of his mouth, then sucked his wet muscle into her mouth.
Natsu's eyes closed again, enjoying the feeling of being dominated. Right now he was at her mercy, and it felt fucking invigorating. He'd have to let her take over more often. Natsu didn't grab her hips, letting her set the pace. The only thing he controlled was the way his fingers touched her sex.
Lucy pulled her swollen lips away from his, only to reattach them to his neck. Natsu shifted his head to the side, allowing her better access. He moaned out when he felt her bite him over his pulse point. He wondered if she could feel the rapid beating of his heart, but the thought was soon lost when he felt her slam down on his cock much harder than before.
"Ga-Fuck!" Natsu's moan cracked from his dry throat. He swore he felt the tip of his cock hit the end of her pussy. He wasn't sure, but when she did it again, his suspicions were confirmed.
"L-Lucy," Natsu grunted, feeling her about to do it again, "d-don't-"
She abruptly stopped midway down his length, her head coming up to peer at his face. Natsu held back the desire to whimper when her teeth left his neck, but he knew she was probably alarmed from him telling her that. "Just, just don't hurt yourself," he muttered quickly, wanting to get started again. "Don't go so hard if it hurts..."
"Are you hurt?" Lucy asked, eyes raking down to look at his bruised ribs. The skin was still dark, but it had healed some since the incident last week.
Natsu gave her an uneasy smile, "kinda, but I was talkin' about you. I don't think it's safe to do it that hard..."
"Oh," Lucy nodded, though she felt somewhat disappointed. "Even if I want to?"
Natsu grit his teeth, wondering what he should say. He didn't want to make her upset, but he also knew it couldn't be safe to hit the back of her pussy like that. He settled with the only thing that made sense to him. "Just don't hurt yourself..."
There was a pause where Lucy only stared at him. He had no idea what she was thinking, but his thoughts soon ended when she said, "okay. I won't." Then she went back to riding him without any warning, drawing out an unexpected gasp from Natsu.
She went hard, but not as hard as before. His stomach muscles tensed in the worst ways, but there was no way he was giving up yet. Besides, judging from the small squeezed she was making around his cock, he could tell she was close again.
Natsu rubbed her clit as fast as he could, giving it all his attention. He barely felt when Lucy's mouth returned to his neck, his focus long gone as he shut his eyes and roared out her name.
"LUCY!"
Natsu released with a jerk of his hips, filling her with his seed the moment he felt Lucy's pussy contract and relax around his cock over and over again. Lucy slowed her pace, her body milking him for everything he had to offer. She could feel his hot cum warm up her core. It was a feeling she never thought she'd enjoy, but with Natsu it felt comforting. His hand dropped to the side, his breathing coming in short gasps that left him lightheaded.
As much as she wanted to collapse on him, she knew that wasn't practical with his injuries. Lucy slowly pulled away from him, immediately feeling empty when his cock slipped from her soaked core. She was careful getting off him, rolling to the side that wasn't damaged. She rested her head on his bicep, watching as Natsu tried to regulate his breathing. Her own breaths came out shallow, but she would manage just fine since she wasn't dealing with a broken rib that required even breathing.
Lucy gently wiped the sweat from his brow, catching his attention from the action. He glanced over at her, seeing she wasn't as sweaty as him, even though she did most of the work. He could only guess that it was from fighting off pain during, but he really didn't know. All Natsu knew was that the pain was slowly fading away, and the aftermath of his orgasm was leaving him in a blissful state...
That was until he had to stand up.
If he thought laying down was painful, standing up was like getting struck in the side multiple times by a steel-toe boot. Lucy helped him up, reducing some of the pain, but he still felt most of it.
"This is horrible," Natsu muttered when he sat on the edge of the bed. He wanted to bend down and rest his elbows on his thighs, but that would also bring more pain. "I don't know how I'm supposed to deal with this for another few weeks."
Lucy frowned, not knowing what to say to her boyfriend. "The doctor said the first what, two weeks are the hardest?"
"Yeah," Natsu stared at the wall, hearing Lucy walking towards the door to his bedroom.
"I'm sure it'll pass by soon," she said in a low voice before exiting the room to clean herself up in the bathroom.
Natsu continued to stare at the wall as if he could burn a hole through it just from looking at it. He didn't want to admit it to Lucy, but he didn't take his pain medication after that morning. He already felt the urge to pop another pill right after the last one he took, scaring him into skipping out on his afternoon doses. He was already fighting off an alcohol addiction. He couldn't afford to get caught up on pain meds.
Natsu's troubled thoughts soon vanished when he saw Happy in the corner of his eyes, coming closer to him until he felt the soft fur graze against his shin. Despite him being upset about his pain, a small smile broke out on his face. He finally had everything he wanted, even if it was difficult as hell to make it happen.
He had Lucy and Happy, he still technically had his health, and he had his friends and family. He just had to work hard to make sure none of that slipped through his fingers.
With a gleam in his eyes Natsu vowed to get better for his friends and family, but mainly for himself. If he did it for other people it wouldn't be as rewarding. He had to want to change, which right now he definitely did. He wanted to get stronger to fight his demons, to cast away the stupid desires to drink alcohol and ruin his life. It was easier said than done, but he felt determined to pull it off.
And when Natsu set his mind on something, he usually got it done.
His thoughts were interrupted when he heard the door open again. He turned his head, seeing Lucy sneak back in. She was wearing a fresh set of panties that didn't match her bra, but Natsu thought she looked cute regardless.
"How did I get so lucky?" Natsu asked, not even realizing he spoke out loud.
Lucy's cheeks warmed as a soft blush surfaced. She averted her eyes, her heart picking up its beat the longer he stared at her. "L-let's go to b-bed," she squeaked, inching towards the mattress and quickly shutting off the light so Natsu couldn't see her embarrassment. Just because they were together didn't mean his words didn't cause her to get flustered.
Lucy dipped under the covers, feeling especially shy since she heard Natsu's light chuckles. It was followed by a wince when she felt the bed move, signalling Natsu's attempts to lay down. The covers were lifted, allowing some cold air to touch her exposed skin before it was replaced by the warmth of Natsu's body heat.
He wanted to cuddle her, but his injuries only allowed him to sleep on his back. Even that was painful since he still had to breathe. A few silent minutes passed, Natsu staring into the darkness while Lucy built up the courage to make a move.
She eventually snuggled up to his side, using the crook of his arm and chest as a pillow while gently resting her hand on his hip. She was careful of his broken ribs, so there was barely any pain coming from her actions. Only the slight movements of the bed irritated his damaged side, but that was bearable.
"Good night, Natsu..."
He smiled, turning his head to place a kiss in her hair since he couldn't see where her face was. "Good night, Weirdo."
"Hey!"
Natsu laughed, even when his side hurt. "Love you, Luce."
She deflated her puffed out cheeks, releasing her annoyance in favor of cuddling closer to him. She draped a leg over his legs, getting as close to him as she could without hurting him. "I love you too, even if you pick on me."
Natsu's laughter continued for a few more seconds before he said, "I only do it 'cause I know you can handle it. You're my little warrior."
Lucy huffed, not buying his bullshit for a second. "You pick on me because you think it's funny."
"What?" Natsu asked coyly. "I'd never do that..."
"Sure..." Lucy smiled, rubbing her face against the side of his chest. "Just remember..." In a whisper, she added, "I'm not invincible..."
Natsu's goofy demeanor changed in an instant. He wrapped his arm around her, ignoring the pain as he said, "I know, but you don't have to be. I promise I'm only trying to be funny..."
"I know," she kept her eyes closed, knowing if she opened them she might tear up. "Let's just go to sleep. Sorry I said anything..."
"No," Natsu shook his head, "don't apologize for something like that. You're allowed to be upset. It's human nature."
"I'm not upset, I'm just... Well I really don't know what I am right now," Lucy yawned, "besides tired and confused. Can we just sort this out in the morning?"
"Of course," Natsu rubbed his thumb over her skin. A soft smile graced his lips as he said, "we have all the time in the world..."
"Yeah." Lucy took a deep breath, wishing her emotions didn't control her as much as they did. She wanted to be stronger than this, but the damage she took over the last four years wasn't going to be erased in a single week. She was starting to think it'd never get erased, but she had to think it would... Otherwise, what was the use of fighting?
"G'night," Natsu finally said, cutting through the silence. He felt Happy jump on his bed, then curl up by their feet.
"Night," Lucy whispered, already allowing sleep to tug at her. "See... you... in... morning..."
Natsu smiled, knowing Lucy was falling asleep. He didn't say anything, wanting her to rest. They had a long week, and they both needed to build up their strength for the next chapter in their lives.
Lucy's case against Jackal was just starting, and it didn't look like it was going to get any easier. He just hoped that it would end soon. He hated seeing Lucy like this.
Scared, confused, feeling hopeless... It wasn't like the Lucy he knew to act this way, but he would stand by her, even if she changed a bit over the years.
Because that's what love was about, accepting someone's flaws and sticking by their side through the hardships of life. He couldn't imagine another person he'd want to spend his life with. He'd be supportive of Lucy during this difficult time in her life, even if it proved to be a challenge.
He knew Lucy was worth it.
She would always be worth it.
Thank you for all the follows and favorites! And thank you to those who reviewed: Leahcar-Soutaichou, Grizzly98, BloodRedRubies, sidjr100, LucyMarieHeartfilia, Argo0, Soul-of-glass, Ashnmarley, HolyChihuahua, Crimsonlink310, The Crystal Rose, Dark Shining Light, and Deni. Marie31!
Up next, Chapter Seventeen: Last chance
I should give you a fair warning, there will be a time skip. Enough time for a few hearings of Lucy's case to start and time for Natsu to heal up, mentally and physically. (I want to write him in the dominate role in sex, but he can't do that if he's still in pain)
Let me know what you thought of this chapter, or if you have any predictions for what might come next? :) Oh, and in case anyone is wondering, this story will have a happy ending where everyone gets what they deserve.