For Ship.
A translation of At the end of the world by Ship.
THE STORY IS NOT MINE!
this is a translation of the Italian story 'At the end of the world' by Ship.
Cover image by Jessica
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
Notice is hereby given that this story has a slightly hard, animalistic and essential style, as this AU suggests. Therefore, the story will be very 'physical'. The society in which the characters live, the time, the setting, from the beginning suggested a dive in the purest nature, in the most animal impulses... Therefore, the events will have that type of characteristics from now on.
The laws of the Alphas and Omegas dominate each chapter, in a world perhaps over the top but beautiful.
CHAPTER 3 OF 14
Merlin felt a loud noise spreading in the cave and awoke up.
He must have slept a couple of hours, no more than that. He had not been able to sleep for a long time in fact, thinking about all he had experienced that day.
He sat up, rubbing his eyes. The humidity of that time of day clung on him anywhere. He strongly wished for some water to cool off.
Having decided to go to the springs or to look for the inside pond he knew was somewhere in the cave, he gave a look at his and Lancelot's travel bags, thinking about retrieving a bag to take with him, so he could fill it.
He had not rested enough, but sleeping was not possible with that heat ... maybe he would have tried again later on, once refreshed.
He was about to finally get up from the pelts on which he was sleeping, when Lancelot came to call him with one of Arthur's men, the one with a sweet-face set on a body that looked like a mountain.
"Merlin... Percival here says that Arthur is unconscious ... "
Merlin stared inquisitively at them and the Alpha nodded.
"Gwen says that Arthur won't wake up ... maybe he's feverish ... they were resting, but now he is completely unconscious ..." Percival added, tense.
Merlin got up in an instant, his face contract.
"It cannot depend on the shoulder ... it was all right. There has been mention of a wound..."
The knight nodded.
"A wound to his left side"
Merlin continued, carrying his medicine bag, as they walked.
"I didn't see anything while I was taking care of him..."
"A cut. Arthur had cleaned it himself. He had said everything was all right"
Merlin's jaw tightened.
"It may be infected. I will check it immediately"
..
When they arrived in right part of the cave, the Amazon, Guinevere, was still at the prince's side with a worried face. Her hair was loose and long on her shoulders.
Merlin spoke first, as soon as he went inside.
"What happened?"
She replied in a firm but tense voice, staring firmly at him, but without hostility, happy that there was a doctor among them in those circumstances.
"We ... we have slept for a couple of hours ... a while ago I woke up and felt he was burning. I tried to wake him up but he has remained unconscious"
Merlin nodded, touching Arthur's forehead.
"He's running a very high fever. I need to see the wound"
Merlin uncovered him… Gwen had in fact covered him with a thin pelt. When he did, he found the Alpha completely naked, except for the bandage on his side and the dressing he did a few hours earlier.
Merlin forced himself not to look, not to gaze at his exposed body, beautiful and marble, but also carved by suffering. He also tried not to stare at the woman at his side. They must have been together earlier and it caused Merlin to feel a twinge of disappointment in the stomach, but he ignored it.
"Will he be fine?"
"I have to work now. You better get out. Let me check on him. Percival ... you stay"
Lancelot approached her, holding out his hand for her to take and, contrary to what Merlin was expected from her, Guinevere accepted it, standing up. Merlin could feel without too much effort the closeness between the two of them.
Lancelot spoke firmly, to get her out.
"Come on ... Merlin will help him. He'll be fine, you see"
She nodded. When she got up, Merlin noticed that she was wearing next to nothing, even though she had dressed herself the best she could.
He saw her collecting something to put on from the bed.
"Please ... help him."
Merlin stared at her, nodding.
"I will let you know as soon as possible"
Lancelot and Guinevere went out and Merlin began to undo the bandage on the side: yes, it had been done well, but then, it had not been changed.
Besides, Merlin found out that the wound was bleeding.
"It's inflamed but not infected. At least not yet. It would have been in a couple of hours if you hadn't called me"
Percival sighed.
"Arthur is too bold and very stubborn. We told him he had to allow you to check on it ... will he heal?"
Merlin nodded, staring at the Alpha, at his perfect and still body beneath him. This time the brunet had been unable to avoid it.
He felt pushed toward him by an invincible force, an animal call, which was impossible to resist.
"The wound is deeper than it seems. It needs some stitches; otherwise he will not stop bleeding"
Percival nodded.
"How can I help you?"
Merlin started working.
"First I need to clean and disinfect it, to reduce the inflammation. Hand me my bag..."
Merlin tried to hide the tension he was feeling inside.
He seemed sure of himself, but he was afraid of not being able to keep his cool as he took care of that Alpha, naked and helpless under his hands.
This was also why he had sent Lancelot away and not Percival ... his friend would have noticed his state of mind and with him at his side he was afraid that he would have become even more nervous. On the other hand, he knew that with Percival he would be forced to maintain a colder attitude.
Moreover, once awoken, Arthur would certainly prefer to see a friend by his side, and not two strangers.
His hand trembled when he lifted the thin pelt, so that Arthur would be covered at least in part. However, to work on the wound, an area of the groin had to remain uncovered.
Merlin swallowed a few times, sweating.
"Put a wet cloth on his forehead, Percival. Get it wet with the fresh water in my saddlebag..."
He desperately wished some for himself too.
He was sweating profusely and he feared his suppressors would betray him.
Percival obeyed and Merlin poured a disinfectant ointment on a bandage, then he proceeded to pour it also on the wound.
"He may feel some burning. Therefore, I expect him to awake. Be ready. If he moves, hold him down..."
The other nodded and Merlin concentrated, ignoring the myriad of bubbles in his blood at the thought to touch again that skin, of which he seemed to be able to recognize the taste now. His smell was everywhere inside Merlin, under his skin.
When he poured the medicine on the wound, taking the blood way, and when he started to disinfect the cut with the cloth, burning his suffering flesh, Arthur woke up and immediately started to move, but Percival was quicker and stopped him.
"It's all right, Arthur. You're sick. You have a high fever. Merlin is treating the wound. It was getting infected and needed stitches, but apparently everything will be okay"
Arthur seemed to realize only now that Merlin was there.
He cursed and tried to move.
"Mpfff... It hurts!"
Merlin swallowed, sinking into his blue stormy eyes, remaining concentrated.
"I know. The flesh is bare. But you have to sit still now, because I have to patch it. And you have a fever, so you still can't move..."
Arthur glared at him, not bothering to conceal his annoyance. Then, he looked down and realized just then he was naked and exposed to the eyes of the other man. The thin blanket that had covered him had slipped away again when he awoke.
Therefore, Merlin kept his head bowed, continuing his work. When he spoke, his voice was firm.
"It has been foolish not to let a doctor check a wound like this immediately. It has been pure luck it wasn't infected. We have made it just in time, but it could have been worse"
The Alpha stared at Merlin again, this time finding his eyes for a moment, piercing him. Merlin was sure he was blushing for the whole duration of their eye contact. When he realized that Arthur wasn't feeling embarrassed by his nakedness in front of him and that he was not going to cover himself, Merlin trembled slowly.
A flash of excitement and tension crossed Arthur's eyes when he noticed Merlin's embarrassment and the Omega, annoyed by his arrogance, recovered immediately.
"Stay still. I will use a slightly numbing ointment to prepare you. However, when I have to stitch up, you will feel a bit of pain..."
"Yes. I know what it feels like. It's not the first time someone has to sew up one of my wounds"
His voice was hoarse, low and for the first time kind. Merlin wondered at this sudden closeness and felt the tension melting away, relaxing him.
"Well then. Try to stay calm."
Arthur relaxed under the healer's touch, keeping his eyes closed in order to try to stay calm as Merlin had asked him to, which was not that difficult thanks to the fever.
When Arthur reopened his eyes, looking at the other man, still concentrated on his work, he saw that Merlin had covered his groin again, which meant he must have touched him. At that thought, the Alpha felt a shiver running down his spine, arriving on his skin, which trembled.
Merlin seemed to hear it, that shiver, because for a brief moment, his hands that were busy sewing hesitated.
The doctor looked up to search his eyes with an irresistible instinct. When he found them, he lost himself in them.
In that brief moment, Arthur read an interest on his part too, a complicity given by common and mutual feelings. Overwhelmed, he distracted himself by turning sideways toward Percival.
His shivers were dangerously settling in his lower belly, despite the fever. He was sure that if they continued to invade him like that, soon he would no longer be able to hide what he was feeling every time Merlin touched him.
Especially now he was naked.
Even and despite the pain.
Arthur clenched his jaw and gritted his teeth.
What the hell is going on?
How could a damn Beta turning his life upside down so much?
This time Arthur's voice came out with difficulty.
"Are you done?"
"Almost. Now I need to redo the bandage... "
Merlin's voice was low too.
Arthur clenched his teeth and fists with force, completely turning his head to one side. Now Merlin's touch had become gentle and Arthur felt it burning on the skin, much more than when he had to grit his teeth because of the stitches.
When the Alpha thought he couldn't control his feelings anymore, Merlin finished.
"Done"
Arthur tested the bandage. While Merlin was putting away his medicines, the blond started to get up again, eager to immediately put some distance between them and to get dressed, but Merlin stopped him.
"You cannot get up. You still have a fever. You may passing out ... now I will give you an infusion to lower it. Within a few hours, you'll be better, but in the meantime you need to rest. If you want to get dressed, Percival can help you ... or I can call her"
He hadn't been able to call her by her name. Doing it would have been like giving her an importance that he couldn't give her ... like taking the responsibility to face a disappointment that he didn't want to acknowledge, a jealousy he didn't want to feel.
Arthur caught the implication and glared. He silenced the emotions he was feeling, driving them away from his breath and heart.
His tone returned cold and distant.
"You've given me more orders in half a day than others in a whole year"
Merlin looked right back, tense.
"You are lucky. If I hadn't been here giving them to you..."
Arthur ran his free hand through his hair after removing the now dry cloth from his forehead.
"I suppose I should thank you for the second time..."
Merlin felt his heart beating faster and flipping. Arthur's voice was finding a place deep inside of him that he was trying to ignore desperately. He was trembling when he answered.
"You can repay your debt by giving me the opportunity to continue my journey when time comes"
Arthur clenched his jaw and swallowed, closing his eyes to rest once again, not answering him.
In fact, in that moment, he was sure he would never repay his debt; he would not have the chance to do it, or at least not that way, not now.
Because his mind was made up.
He would not let the doctor go.
Those two young Betas would remain with them. He would hold them.
It wasn't like him to do such a thing: all the people that had joined the clan Pendragon in his first year of reign had done so of their own free will; no one had ever been held by force...
But Arthur just couldn't let the brunet haired man go.
Not to mention time was running out.
That was why he had taken a moment without answering.
To think about it again.
To seek a solution.
All he was sure of was that he was not going to let Merlin out of his sight.
When the doctor exited, Arthur didn't hear him, for he was already asleep.
Merlin returned in the main part of the cave to update Arthur's men, all in obvious concern. When he did speak to all of them, he paid particular attention to the female Alpha, Gwen, who had called for help.
"He'll be all right. He's resting now. He can get up again as soon as the fever breaks"
He had to swallow his pride a few times to keep control of his emotions and talk to her calmly.
The fact was that he just couldn't find it in himself to like her...
And the more time went on and the more he felt stuck into that situation, the more he could feel Arthur in his stomach and veins, and the more his dislike toward her grew: she was his woman, an Alpha...
As an Omega, he deeply envied her; so much that he almost felt rage at the thought that she could have him... that she could touch him, be his…that she could sink in his essence ... be one with him.
Despite he was making a huge effort to admit it, despite he was fighting it with all his fiber ... it was useless. Arthur had awakened his senses as no Alpha with whom he had previously came in contact had ever managed to do.
That meant only one thing.
He could deceive his thoughts, but not his instincts: he, Merlin, had found his True Bond Mate.
Their races were able to recognize their natural mate, their perfect half, despite the racial laws that had imposed the distance, the suffering…
An ability that had not changed, an instinct that had survived time, because it was something written in their nature, as the motion of the day or night. And perhaps this fact made it even more sad and hard to bear.
In other words, Arthur was the other half of his world. The other side of his coin.
Merlin had found out by the way his blood boiled when Arthur was close. By the way his smell had tied itself to his every single molecule, imprinting itself and entering in Merlin with sweetness and arrogance. By the way Arthur ensnared his thoughts. By the way his body and senses lit up whenever he was close and because of the despair he felt whenever Arthur was away from him.
Merlin knew, because nothing mattered if not him anymore. He wanted Arthur to be all right. He wanted to take care of him and treat him. He wanted Arthur to talk to him and look at him again ... to make Merlin tremble, only him and no one else.
And it hurt. This was destroying him inside, because he knew it wouldn't last between them. He knew nothing could ever happen between them. Merlin knew he couldn't establish the Bond with Arthur. Indeed, he would have to let him go.
Merlin also asked himself how confused Arthur must be, regarding the two of them.
Surely, he must have perceived Merlin as a mate in some way, on a subtle level. However, not knowing the facts and not recognizing him as an Omega, Arthur must be quite confused.
Merlin suffered at the thought.
It was for that reason that it would be better to separate themselves from each other as soon as possible.
Not to make the separation too traumatic for both.
Merlin realized he was staring at Guinevere.
He watched her breathe a sigh of relief and smile...
She had a sweet smile, the security of a strong woman, of someone who knew to have their own place in the world and who could afford to have it, to keep it...
He exchanged with her just enough words to tell her that everything was going to be all right. Lancelot ended that exchange when he patted her on the shoulder, smiling at her.
Merlin stared at them together. He did not know when (nor had he realized it) but something had changed between them too. Their eyes were now friendly… at least knowing if not intimate.
They too were crushed by their nature.
Had Lancelot recognized a mate in Gwen?
Merlin looked down sadly. He was not going to be the only suffering when it would be time to leave the Alphas.
He felt that one of the knights was patting him on the arm ... Gwaine. The man who had helped him with Arthur along with Lancelot that morning.
"You know, we have been lucky you were still with us. Good. I would say that since we are in the middle of the afternoon we better eat something. Will you join us? Leon has just lit the fire, roasted some hares and roots ... there's enough food for everyone"
Merlin realized he was very hungry and nodded.
Merlin rested a couple of hours, counting the minutes that separated him from the always more necessary freedom. When he awoke, he remained lying on his side on the bed.
Most of the knights were sleeping too. Only one of them was awake and sharpening his sword: Leon.
Lancelot and Guinevere were sitting next to each other and chatting amiably.
She seemed very interested in his sword. As a warrior, she was certainly fascinated by his blade, forged overseas, in France, where Lancelot came from. It looked like she had asked him to show it to her again in action, because Merlin saw them get up and cross their weapons a couple of times. She was smiling.
Merlin grimaced: Lancelot too was forgetting the purpose for which they had left their village, too taken by her Alpha aura.
They had to leave, immediately.
He was about to get up. It had to be almost dusk and they still had to prepare their things. Merlin'd force his friend to see reason. Then, they would go away, after a quick goodbye.
Then Arthur appeared. The fever had definitely broken.
Merlin laid there, pretending to sleep, eager to observe him, but also to stay away from his eyes, from the feelings that crushed him when he was near the Alpha.
Arthur, entering the main cave, stood for a moment, looking at Guinevere and Lancelot fighting. He stared, watching her laugh. As an Alpha, he was probably seeing what even Merlin, an Omega, had seen between the two young warriors.
She gasped when she saw him, feeling observed, in evident embarrassment, but his voice sounded neutral, without disappointment, serene.
"Arthur! ... You are feeling better."
He nodded without giving her a chance to reply.
"Let's wake the others ... I have to talk to all of you"
She stared at him, immediately abandoning her sword, and Lancelot looked at the Prime in the eyes, waiting to hear something about his closeness to Gwen, but Arthur did nothing. He merely nodded to Lancelot to put away the sword. He did it.
"Wake your friend too"
Merlin continued to keep his eyes closed, until the other Omega approached him to wake him up. Reluctantly he got up.
Arthur was standing with his back to Merlin, ignoring him on purpose. Therefore, the brunet stood in a corner. He had decided to stand aside and not to have a direct contact with him.
When all the knights reached their leader, Arthur spoke, giving a general order.
"We do not move tonight. We'll remain in this shelter a bit longer"
At those words Merlin snapped forward, waiting for him to continue, and Arthur, hearing him approaching, turned toward him.
"I mean everyone. Even you"
Merlin went even closer, agitated, nervous.
"What are you talking about? We leave in an hour!"
Arthur shook his head, decided.
"Nobody will go out. It's raging a fierce sandstorm outside. Earlier I went to the springs at the bottom of the cave to drink. There, a small side exit leads outside. Upon arriving, I heard the wind howling... and I checked out, suspicious. I looked out and was hit by a violent storm. Tonight we cannot move"
Merlin stared at him, hard, angry because of that inconvenience. When he spoke, he tried to find Lancelot's eyes, hoping for his support.
"Do as you wish. We are leaving ... it's not the first time we walk in a sandstorm."
Arthur stared at him, hard.
"What's your problem?"
Merlin felt a burning raising from his chest to his throat.
"We have to go. We have to continue our journey"
Arthur shook his head.
"Not tonight. I said no one would go outside tonight. The storm is too strong. It is not a normal storm. It is clearly caused by the sun. The wind is hot, despite being dark outside… It is raising a lot of sand. You risk getting lost, or caught by the sand. And then, my men and I would have to look for you, not even knowing if you are still alive. So, no one here will leave this cave"
Merlin approached him, angry.
"WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?! WE ARE BETAS. YOU CAN'T FORCE US TO OBEY YOU"
Arthur didn't move, staring at him impassively.
"We are not talking about Alphas, Omegas or Betas here. If you go out now, you may die. No one leaves this refuge, and that's it. These storms, caused by the sun, last for only a day ... we know them well in our country... sometimes they hit suddenly, just as today. Tomorrow at this time, it will be over. Until then, nobody gets out"
Arthur kept quiet about the fact that even in that case they, Merlin and Lancelot, would not leave the group. He was waiting a different time to tell him that. He was waiting for a pretext not to let them go that he had not found yet.
Merlin glanced at him with fire in his eyes and Lancelot approached him, taking his arm and urging him to calm down and to do the right thing.
When he angrily walked away and his friend followed him, Merlin turned also to him angrily.
"I know you're starting to give in, Lancelot. I can see you are attracted to that young female Alpha. You're forgetting our mission and I am also talking about the fight for our freedom. I can see you would be ready to drop everything and follow them… do you think I wouldn't notice it? And it's not only her. As a warrior, you are affected by Arthur's charisma and strength as a leader. But what do you think you would gain by this? Revealing your Omega identity would make you a slave again! You couldn't have her anyway, nor would you have freedom of choice about your life, nothing! And you know it!"
"Are you telling me you wouldn't be tempted?"
Merlin glared at him. He felt vulnerable, because he knew that Lancelot had read his anguish very well, just as Merlin had read his.
"I can't believe that at the first contact with some Alphas - at the first one! - we are already so confused and indecisive! Are we really that weak?"
"Merlin... They are not normal Alphas. Do I really have to tell you? We must be realistic ... we know very well that it wouldn't have happened with everyone, and in fact it had never happened until now. But when nature gets in the way, when your instinct recognizes..."
Merlin shook his head.
"Nature has been suppressed by man. We cannot forget that even in this case. Particularly in this case, we must remember that we have to stay away from the Alphas. Especially from Gwen and Arthur."
Lancelot nodded and remained silent for a moment. Then, he sighed and continued:
"Do you think I don't know that? I'm just saying that we need to think, because if we go out now, we risk to die. You heard him. Arthur is not stupid. He is a leader. A great leader from what we have seen. He knows what he is doing. Think, Merlin. We better be careful. You know how destructive sandstorms can be if they are strong. Besides, we don't even know if we can find any shelter in case of need. This is about us not killing ourselves just to escape personal problems"
Merlin glared at him. But then, he nodded, after a long moment of reflection.
"We will wait for the storm to settle ... then, we leave"
Lancelot nodded and patted him on the shoulder. Then, when he turned, Merlin saw him reach the others and sitting with them. Merlin sat, looking at them from afar, feeling alone.
If it were not for Arthur, he too would have liked to sit with the Knights and chat with them. But the Alpha had resumed his dominant role, controlling everything with his presence, like Merlin's heart.
He really couldn't take it...
He was scared to death that if he allowed Arthur to get even closer, maybe in a more relaxed, confidential and friendly atmosphere between them, the blond could bring down everything that had remained of Merlin himself. That part of him that was still resisting, and that was already faint as a candle light.
He bit his lip and wrapped his arms around himself, feeling cold inside. He stared straight ahead at Arthur, as he ate something, discussed something with his men, laughed with them and then as he went quiet again and as he secretly looked at Merlin occasionally.
To protect himself, Merlin went back pretending to be asleep.
The night seemed endless.
Merlin spent his time updating his diary with the latest events; preparing ointments to keep busy; having dinner alone and making sure that he and Lancelot took their suppressors, which seemed to work just fine, even though they were surrounded by Alphas all the time.
He yawned and got up from the bedrolls in the isolated small part of the cave he and Lancelot had chosen as their own. He stretched and reached the group, hoping not to meet Arthur.
However, he heard him just outside the den. Arthur was whispering to someone. He had to be around there. When Merlin heard him saying Lancelot's name, he stopped to listen more carefully.
He was talking to Gwen.
"You don't have to give me an explanation, Guinevere…really."
He heard her tone becoming caressing.
"I'm not justifying myself ... I just didn't want you to misunderstand, that's all. The stranger and me ... there is nothing between us. We just get along very well and I'm not going..."
Arthur took her hand.
"What I saw before... don't hide it. The light I see in you two betrays you. And I repeat, Guinevere, this is not a problem for me. What's between us... we both know what we have always had and shared. You and I… we have just kept each other company. We have been a support and a safe haven for each other for years… to look for security during uncertain times. We have been satisfying a physical need during times when the loneliness was stronger, especially in this last year ... but ours has never been a love connection and we have never pretended it to be. If now you have found it..."
She shook her head, sad.
"I haven't found it! He is a Beta, Arthur! To leave you for him? It would be the same thing! He is not an Omega. At this point, you or him ... what difference would it make?"
Arthur clenched his jaw.
"It would be different if you feel like you can love him. Even if he is a Beta... and I can see it, I can read it in you that it's different this time. Perhaps you could find love with him... I want you to think about it. You are free to do what you want from me, you know that"
She replied dryly.
"Yes... I know I have never been something serious for you"
He shook his head.
"Don't say this to hurt us now. You know that is not true. You are important to me. We have known each other since we were children. I have always cared about you"
She rested her face on his chest.
"But you never loved me"
He kissed her hair.
"We love each other somehow in our own way. Not in the way we would like to, but we deeply care for each other. And I would be happy to see you find someone to love for real ... even if he isn't an Omega"
She kept squeezing him.
"Tomorrow he will go away ... I won't see him ever again."
Arthur took her arms, pushing her slightly away from his chest, and looked at her in the eyes.
"You don't know what destiny has in store for you. If ... no ... when we complete our mission, well ... maybe everything will work out for the best for you, right?"
She shrugged.
"We haven't tracked down this elusive Catha yet. He may not even exist, or he may have died..."
He shook his head.
"We have to keep hope alive... we have not visited all the southern lands yet. We will find him. You'll see. My father said he was still alive. The information was correct … he died to find it. We have to believe, Guinevere."
She nodded and then smiled.
"Just friends then... and always united in one common cause"
Arthur smiled back.
"I really hope you can find the one. Sometimes you can find someone to love even if they aren't your natural mate"
She took his hand.
"It would be helpful if you just could repeat this speech to yourself too, Arthur."
"I am most fortunate between the two of us. I have my kingdom and my mission..."
He said that with a smile to comfort her, shrugging.
"You're just more stubborn"
He hugged her and walked away, while Merlin was feeling his heart tearing apart slowly, giving in.
Things were looking pretty bad for both Omegas apparently.
As an Alpha, Gwen would not wait for much longer before trying something with Lancelot, given their chemistry...
And he, now that he knew the greatness of Arthur's soul, not only his essence, felt completely enraptured by him.
Merlin clenched his hands into fists, as he went to look for his friend.
Merthur is coming!