For Ship.
A translation of At the end of the world by Ship.
THE STORY IS NOT MINE!
this is a translation of the Italian story 'At the end of the world' by Ship.
Cover image by Jessica
CHAPTER 7 OF 14
Arthur stopped the horse once arrived on the top of a promontory. He sniffed the smell of the salty air, observing before him the blue of the sea, reaching the horizon ... Gedref was before their eyes, finally.
With one eye, he saw Merlin stopping in turn, for the first time by his side as his mate. The others were behind them.
After their stop in the castle, they had ridden for two hours, exactly as planned, and the lights of the torches of a small village were now clearly visible in the distance. They would arrive there in no more than half an hour.
Merlin caught his eye, sensing his thoughts, and Arthur nodded in assent, making a half turn and starting to move again. He looked proud and confident but also very tired.
He had not slept well.
After making love to Merlin in the previous hours and after falling in a deep sleep at first, the blond had woken almost immediately, feeling a restlessness in the soul that didn't want to leave him alone.
While holding his mate in his arms, he had thought a lot about what had happened between them in recent days, from their first meeting and approach up to where they were now. And the more he had thought, the more he had become desperate for answers he could not find and the more he had been forced to ask himself the right questions; even if asking them hurt too much, because they put everything back on the table... Yet, as much as he wanted to push them away, they remained there.
He had wanted Merlin.
Strongly...
Since the first time he had seen him, he had claimed him for himself and in the end had taken him by force, without consent, at least at the beginning. He had forced things, forcing events to take the turn that he had decided, without caring for nothing but his own desires, his own selfishness...
…his own stubbornness, that was part of his nature.
He had never acted like that before and had not even recognized himself in that raw manifestation of his own race, in that behaving in a totalitarian way, which he had always hated in the other Alphas.
He had done what he wanted and Merlin had given in, as it was natural to happen, but Arthur wasn't proud of his actions. He didn't even know how much of Merlin he really possessed.
How much of his soul?
How much of his heart?
In all that manipulated situation, how much of him Arthur could say to be able to call his?
Of course, in the last hours, things had changed ... now the doctor was by his side willingly, but the situation was still not clear: Merlin was not an easy prey to bend, to tame. The brunet was different from all the people he had ever met...
He was very stubborn, tenacious, his spirit was indomitable, proud, brave... a diamond whose light was dazzling even in daylight… a perfect mix of strength and power combined with extreme sweetness with undeniable charm, a unique and irresistible beauty...
And indeed, Arthur had not managed to resist him.
Although he was the Alpha and the one to have the power to dictate when and how between them ... he had been the first one to succumb.
The fact that Merlin was not an Omega upset him.
That was the feeling that was forcing him to ask himself the right questions.
His instinct were rebelling strongly to this fact. On the contrary, it continued to shout at him to pay more attention, to dig deeper, to analyze better, to smell him better, to test his glands and his smell...
And Arthur had done that too.
In the last forty-eight hours, his pheromones had wrapped and attacked the brunet so fiercely that if he had been an Omega under suppressors, he would have responded by revealing his true smell, but this had not occurred.
Well, apparently, Merlin was really a Beta and all seemed pretty damn simple, but instinctively Arthur still could not see the bottom of the water in which he was swimming; he could not touch it, as if the water was too deep, or as if its clarity was too fake, too perfect, artificial.
Moreover, he could still remember on his skin the two occasions where they had loved each other in a more extreme way, leaving him in the most atrocious doubts.
At one time, Merlin had grabbed him and pushed him against his neck, exposing the base of the neck where the glands of the Bond were, and Arthur had felt it: Merlin had wanted him to bite him...
During the other ... well. It had left Arthur with even more doubts.
His Knot had swollen and in that situation, dictated by his instinct, his questions had magnified enormously.
He had been almost certain, while exploding in pleasure, that his body had felt Merlin, had really recognized him as an Omega.
In fact, even that orgasm had been more intense, complete, intoxicating...
The Knot had swollen in order to establish the Bond and Arthur had been left shocked by that natural reaction.
So, how could he continue to evade the right questions?
Could Merlin be an Omega, hidden somehow by methods that he might not know?
All this deserved at least a thorough investigation and Arthur had every intention to speak with an expert about this. Once discussed the most important things, he would ask the doctor they were looking for to give him a hand to dissolve all doubts about this situation.
Even after and despite what he had said to Merlin that morning.
A few hours after having made love and after having watched him sleeping, Merlin had woken up and Arthur (confused and defeated, crushed by his unstable thoughts and even more difficult hours) had abandoned himself to a statement that he had immediately regretted, considered all his suspicions.
"I'm glad you're a Beta. If you had been an Omega, I would have never been able to have you ... and my lust for you is too strong. This means we can be together"
Merlin had only stare at him; then, he had given himself again and again, in silence, when Arthur had started to stroke him to take him again. Their bodies had been exhausted because of the pleasure. Yet, nothing more had happened, or at least nothing comparable to the two times the Knot had swollen or Merlin had asked for the bite...
Reflecting on the differences with the other times, Arthur had felt as if Merlin had brought everything under his control.
As if he had built other walls between them.
Then, they had stood up and somewhat Merlin had returned as distant as he had been at the beginning of everything, despite being Arthur's mate now, which had confirm even more his thesis that the young man was trying to keep full and absolute control over their relationship.
For fear that things would go down?
The more he had thought about it, the more Arthur had found himself convinced that his theories were absolutely founded and that perhaps he was not imagining things. Therefore, he had decided to get to the root of the matter.
.
Now Arthur was staring at Merlin, who was joking and laughing with Gwaine about something he didn't know, and even while looking at him in that moment, his instinct was telling him only one truth: Omega, without Bond, but absolutely with no smell.
The healer they were looking for would give him a clear explanation about all this; Arthur would demanded it, because now he couldn't live with these doubts anymore.
As soon as they reached the village (about fifty houses carved into the limestone), they were surrounded by suspicious people, who approached their group cautiously, full of questions about their presence in their land.
What on earth were some Alphas doing in that forgotten land? Obviously, they remained alert, maybe even afraid, and Arthur immediately tried to reassure them. But they, as Betas, recognized Merlin as one of them and asked for him to explain the reasons that had led them to their village.
Merlin took charge of the mediation, sensing their distrust and fear. To pacify them, he spoke only of a part of their mission, neglecting to tell them about the Catha.
He thought to begin by saying that they had not come to stay, because from experience, having lived with Betas and knowing their distrust toward Alphas, he knew that those words would calm them down.
"Sorry for the intrusion in your village... We are just passing through. We will go away very soon... We would like to buy supplies and medicines... therefore, we have to see your doctor, because we really need to talk to him… We have heard rumors of his abilities and this is why we are here"
Arthur stiffened on the horse, remaining silent. He approved Merlin's choice to speak on behalf of all of them, but while he was watching him better, he sensed that something was wrong with him: it was obvious that his mate was not feeling well, that it was hard for him even to talk… Arthur was starting to worry about him.
A middle-aged man, bald with light eyes and a proud face, met them, speaking for the other Betas. Evidently, he was their leader.
"My name is Alator. I'm the leader of this village. I welcome you among my people, since yours is a visit with a purpose, namely to resupply. In this case, we are happy to offer you our hospitality. You can leave your horses in our stables and, if you like, someone can treat them instead of you. You should rest, while you eat and tell me what you need from us"
Merlin nodded and turned to Arthur, who was the first to dismount and deliver his horse in the care of the locals.
"Leon, take the beasts where these men tell you to and pay the price they ask"
Arthur's first knight dismounted too, followed by the others. Arthur's gesture showed that the group of Alphas wanted to build a relationship of mutual trust with the Betas, which was absolutely unusual in those dark times.
In fact, the head of the Betas appreciated the gesture.
"Good. If you want to follow me then, I will take you to our healer's house. There, we can talk about the reasons that have urged you to leave your lands to come here"
Arthur nodded and Merlin too dismounted and handed over his horse. However, when he did, barely touching the ground, he felt like fainting and suddenly, everything became dark.
Arthur was immediately at his side to support him as he lost consciousness. The concern for his mate was drawn on his face and every muscle, while the head of the village turned toward a man at his side...
"Change of plan. Please ... go and call Gaius. Tell him to come here right away. One of the strangers is not feeling well. We'll talk later. Now there is an immediate need to give him medical attention"
Merlin remained unconscious and Arthur noticed he was feverish in his arms, helpless. He turned, frightened and tense, to thank the man.
"Thank you so much for your welcome and for your kindness"
The Beta nodded slowly, staring at Arthur. He trusted him instinctively, filing the prince's blue and sincere eyes with hope for the world, which his heart had no longer been listening to in a long time, and with it the caress of the wind on his face again. He wished to say something, but he didn't, knowing that if fate would get it right, the time to talk would come soon.
An elderly man, with loose long gray hair and dressed in a soft leather long red gown, met them, fixing them with a steady and proud gaze, without hostility. He turned to Arthur calmly and looked at Merlin, still unconscious in his arms.
His voice was sweet as a balm on Arthur's nerves in that moment of tension.
"Stranger ... let me take a look at him now"
Arthur pulled Merlin away from his chest: his breathing was fast, irregular; he was burning everywhere.
His voice came out weak, but full of expectation, "Are you the doctor?"
The other nodded, coming closer to them. He began to check Merlin's vital signs: pulse, responsiveness and eyelids.
Arthur continued.
"He is Merlin, my mate. He is a doctor too. I don't know what happened ... he has just fainted all of sudden"
The man lifted his kind gaze on him, nodding.
"Call me Gaius. Hurry; let's get him in my lab. Take him and follow me"
Arthur got up with Merlin in arm, walking behind the healer.
"Do you think he has the yellow fever?"
Arthur realized that until then he had tried to ward off that idea from his mind with all his strength, but the thought that Merlin might have been infected was eating him up inside.
The senior doctor turned and this time his expression was relaxed, encouraging.
"No. He is just very dehydrated... enough to have succumbed to the fever. Perhaps in these last few days has he failed to protect himself? Has he been too exposed to the heat and not rested enough? I will give him some ointments to lower his temperature and some water, enriched with supplementations. Then he must rest and everything will be fine. He will recover and he is not life threatening"
Arthur sighed, nodding. He was finally able to breathe again.
"Percival... can you bring Merlin's bags, please?"
The knight behind him nodded, grabbing the doctor's personal effects, and followed them.
.
When they got inside the house of the healer, Arthur settled Merlin on a special bed indicated by the doctor. Gaius took some ingredients and prepared the ointments needed to make Merlin come to. Then, he opened Merlin's medical bag, the one the knight had just brought, obviously suspicious of something but without showing it. Then, he responded to Arthur's astonished gaze.
"I have to check the medicines to avoid giving him something to which he may be allergic. If he is, he should have marked his personal medicines among the others"
Arthur's expression to that explanation was akin to an apology and Gaius continued.
"And now, excuse me but you have to get out. This young man needs rest and I to do my job. Keep calm; I promise he will recover. I'll warn you as soon as he awakes"
Leaving the room, Arthur nodded at the door, following Percival, finally calmer.
"We'll be outside"
Gaius smiled as he closed Merlin's bag. He leaned toward the unconscious boy in front of him, as he answered to the Alpha.
"Refresh calmly. You have all the time in the world"
.
When the door finally closed, Gaius did the thing he had wanted to do right away since he saw the young doctor before him, heard his name, and even before, when he heard of the arrival of a group of Alphas, including a Prime with the looks of 'A great leader', as someone had cleverly reported.
He pulled up Merlin's jacket, exposing the skin under his shoulder blade. He was looking for something he expected to find. When he found that the birthmark, a few shades darker than the white skin of the young man, was exactly where it should have been if Merlin was who he thought he was, Gaius sighed with relief, exhaustion and hope, as his eyes filled with tears.
He redressed the young doctor.
When Merlin awoke, he had to squeeze his eyes a few times to focus on the face before him.
"What happened? Are we in Gedref? In the village? Who are you?"
Gaius straightened up in his seat.
The dehydration had proved to be more serious than he had expected. It had taken at least a couple of hours to get over the fever... Then the doctor, recalling the ointments that he had seen in the bag of the young man, had understood the reasons for Merlin's fluid loss.
"My name is Gaius"
The old doctor seemed to be waiting for a reaction that didn't arrive. Defeated, he continued.
"I am the doctor of this village. You're here with me because you have lost consciousness"
Merlin nodded slowly and tried to get up.
"No... You can't. You passed out because of too much dehydration. You may feel a strong dizziness if you stand up, or nausea or vomiting"
Merlin laid down, nodding.
"Yes... I know. I'm a doctor too"
Gaius smiled.
"Yes, they told me. Well ... even better then…I can speak freely. Your body, my boy, had arrived here strongly weakened. Hadn't you noticed the dehydration?"
Merlin nodded.
"Yes, and I had also tried to protect myself as best I could, but we have been traveling for days and it has been hard to do it... I had also drunk more, much more. I can't explain why this has happened..."
Gaius sighed, nodding. Then, he leaned toward the bag of medicine of the other man, grabbing Merlin's suppressors, and when Merlin saw them, he was about to spring forward, worried, but then he remembered that the man in front of him was a doctor, an Omega like him and that had been hiding for years like him. So he relaxed.
"These suppressors ... have you greatly reduced the interval between a dose and the other?"
Merlin nodded, embarrassed.
"Yes... you know... when you travel with Alphas..."
Gaius sighed.
"You don't have to explain anything to me. I saw your mate earlier. I understand why you had done it ... you had to cover yourself. But the so frequent use of these medicines has caused a greater release of heat, and therefore the dehydration"
Merlin ran a hand over his face, astonished.
"I didn't know it could happen..."
Gaius nodded.
"Generally it doesn't. But because of the extreme temperatures of the past few days, your body has collapsed. Not to mention that perhaps the constant contact with an Alpha mate and his pheromones must have destabilized your instincts and your nature. The decision to take more suppressors was correct and in fact it had allowed you to stay hidden, but your body has paid the price"
Merlin shrugged, blushing.
"Yes, I know that maybe I'm playing with fire"
The man's expression was so sweet that left Merlin speechless.
"You don't have to find excuses with me. I'm not judging you. There is no need to do that... MERLIN EMRYS"
Hearing someone saying his full name, his OMEGA name that his family had given him when he was born and that no one knew, shocked him… and this time he sat up.
"How do you know my real name? Who told you? What...?"
The man leaned over to stroke the brunet's cheek.
"You really don't remember your godfather?"
Merlin sank in his memory, fishing out the imagines of an almost forgotten life, another existence, made of warmth and family, of two parents, happy and in love, of a six-year-old child who did not know that the world had been about to take everything away from him.
And he saw a man. A man his father was so fond of and that had kept Merlin in his arms when he was first born, becoming his godfather: The doctor who had assisted in his birth and that had seen him growing up.
Until destiny had ruined everything.
"GAIUS..."
The other nodded and Merlin got up and hugged him, suddenly eager to be reunited with him. He was holding back the tears, as the old doctor was doing too.
"Gaius! Where have you been? What have you done in these past years? What happened to you when our village had been destroyed and us Omegas imprisoned?"
Gaius stepped back, his face relaxed after the tension.
"I will also ask you the same questions, Merlin, and there will be time to talk and to tell each other everything... but now there's someone who wants to see you and who has been very worried. Don't you think it'd be better to let him in and reassure him, before he breaks down my door?"
Merlin slightly laughed and nodded. In that moment the door opened and Arthur, summoned by someone, came in a hurry, eager to see with his own eyes that Merlin was all right.
"Merlin! Are you OK?"
Merlin nodded, lying back down. He stared at the men in front of him… he felt they were both part of his future.
"Yes ... and I will recover soon"
Arthur sighed in relief, approaching him. Once arrived next to his bed, he turned back to the old healer.
"I thank you very much on behalf of myself and my companions. You have saved one of us"
Gaius shrugged, smiling.
"Oh... You don't need to thank me Arthur Pendragon, son of Uther, Prince of Devon. I only did my duty"
Arthur stared at him. Then, he looked at Merlin, thinking he had been the one to tell the healer who he was.
Once reassured about his mate's conditions, he returned to his role as a leader and a guide, conscious of how little time they had, of the agreements with Morgana, of the anxiety about Elyan's conditions, of the fact that probably their searching wouldn't finish in that village and that not all the answers would come from that place. Therefore, he continued on his path, explaining the reasons that had led them in that village.
"So, Gaius. Now that Merlin has recovered, do you think we can talk about our mission and the reasons why we are here? Or do you think it would be better to wait, so that Merlin can take part of the talks with us?"
Gaius stared at him and then at Merlin, still lying on the bed.
"Oh, two words will not bring back the fever or weaken a so strong young man... we can talk now. I was about to eat. What about you? Would you like to join me as we talk about what you need? Or have you already eaten with your men in one of the houses I had made someone prepare for you in the village, Arthur?"
Gaius had spoken with Alator before, stating that the foreigners would be staying a few days at least, so that Merlin could recover and above all because he was aware that the issues they had to discuss would be important and long, vital. Therefore, the Betas, encouraged by their doctor, had prepared everything to host the new arrivals.
And Arthur had paid again for their trouble, even before the locals had finished organizing a place for them.
Arthur shook his head: he had not eaten, he couldn't, too worried about Merlin.
But now, he noticed he was very hungry.
"Perfect. Just give me a few minutes to heat the fish soup"
Merlin smiled: it had been a long time since he had eaten fish and he suddenly wanted it very much, as if those hours really seemed a new beginning.
Gaius smiled back at him.
"Maybe today you should just eat some broth, okay? Your stomach is too weak now"
Merlin nodded and Arthur sat beside him on the bed, while Gaius walked away, leaving the two young men alone to stare at each other in the eyes.
Arthur scrutinized Merlin thoroughly, searching for answers about a truth that was still in the dark for him...
… And Merlin was trying with all his strength to keep what he was hidden in a mist more than ever, even at the cost of his health.
"The others? Are they OK?"
Arthur ignored him, avoiding speaking once again of someone who was not the brunet.
Merlin always worries about everyone, neglecting himself… things had to change.
"How did you manage to take care of us constantly and neglecting your health at the same time?"
Merlin shrugged, smiling forcibly, unable to tell him the truth. He opted for a half admission.
"My work often absorbs me so much that I tend to ignore the precautions that I suggest to others"
Merlin watched Arthur's face, drawn by doubts, and tried to joke, while the other man crossed his arms, staring at him in a so penetrating way to break somehow his armor and touch his most vulnerable and exposed part...
"...Besides, I have been living alone for a long time... no one has ever really worried about me before. I think I've even developed a kind of masochism that pushes me too far. Habit, I suppose"
Arthur got up. Merlin could not read his expression, his thoughts, and he didn't like that feeling.
"Do you need help to stand up? Do you want to sit at the table with us?"
Merlin nodded, looking away to release the tension.
"Yes, I want to. But you have to give me a hand. Until tomorrow I probably will not have enough strength..."
Arthur lowered himself, bringing one of Merlin's arms to his own neck, lifting him up and holding him so that he could stand up.
"Living so isolated has made you independent and strong, but also reckless"
Merlin smiled, shrugging.
"It was a compliment or an insult?"
Arthur clenched his mouth to one side.
"Both"
"Apparently, medicine is not my only talent"
The look that Arthur sent him made him feel dizzy, and not because of his weak status.
He felt the Alpha's other arm wrapping around his waist, while slowly walking to reach Gaius.
"No... but so are stubbornness and recklessness"
This time he laughed aloud and for the first time, Merlin saw Arthur laughing too, a relaxed laugh, beautiful, devoid of his usual tension and royalty and majesty. In that moment, he was just a beautiful young man, still a prince because of the beauty of the person he was and not because of his title.
Merlin would have liked to capture that clear sound with a breath, there, in that moment; to kiss his lips and sink into him.
"You say that almost as if I had to change it ... Is there even a cure?"
When Arthur answered, he felt his hand wrapping his waist even more, with passion.
"Exactly what we are trying to do now. Let someone think in your place sometime..."
His heart skipped a beat, when it warmed up slowly, in a longer breath.