For Ship.
A translation of At the end of the world by Ship.
THE STORY IS NOT MINE!
this is a translation of the Italian story 'At the end of the world' by Ship.
Cover image by Jessica
CHAPTER 11 OF 14
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When Merlin woke up, he felt alone, realizing that Arthur was not by his side. He wrapped his arms around his own body immediately, missing him, but by the time he rubbed his eyes and opened them again, he saw him in front of him, leaning against the wall of the room, sitting on a bedroll, still naked.
He got up softly, leaning on his elbows and running a hand on his face. He found Arthur's eyes right away, once he focused on his face better.
The Alpha was still staring at him. His eyes, now imprinted on him, were deep and his, unmistakably… a sea where Merlin had sunk, hours before, losing himself in the waves, banged against the rocks at first and then lost in its wonderful boundless essence.
When Merlin spoke to him, he thought that in that moment Arthur was able to read everything in his eyes: love, belonging, devotion, heart pounding.
"Hello... you've been up long?"
Arthur nodded, always staring at him, enjoying the sight of Merlin, his Omega. He was unable to get enough of him.
"I couldn't sleep after resurfacing... "
Merlin felt himself being pierced by his breaths, despite Arthur being far away. He felt his own stopping somewhere, while swallowing.
"... after the catharsis of the Bond, I stayed up for hours"
Merlin looked away, suddenly overwhelmed with embarrassment.
"Have I really overslept?"
Arthur hooked his eyes once more, calling him again, without giving him respite, without giving him a moment that was his alone.
He had listened to Merlin's breathing for hours, while holding him in his arms, unable to really return to his rational consciousness, deeply moved and content, collapsed in the Bond and its meaning.
The Alpha got up and Merlin followed him with his eyes, getting lost in his majestic presence now that the Alpha was completely his, enjoying everything that he was, his beauty, his strength and power, surrendering completely to him, won and glad of it.
Arthur sat down beside him, gently stroking his face.
"You said you loved me..."
Merlin stared at him: Arthur must have heard him.
"So did you... and you said it first"
Arthur smiled slightly, almost imperceptibly.
"Yes, but mine was almost predictable... I thought you had realized my feelings for you long ago... on the other hand I had never realized yours. It was like receiving a branding on the chest. You were always so aloof, unattainable..."
Merlin lowered his head.
"Now you know why"
Arthur moved his black hair from his face slowly, lifting his chin to see his eyes again.
"I knew it. I think I always knew you were an Omega. Ever since the first moment I laid my eyes on you, my nature recognized you. But unfortunately the chaos, the madness that has accompanied our every gesture, every day since we met ... made all my attempts to dig deeper too cloudy"
Merlin nodded.
"I have used all my strength to reject all your approaches... I have even collapsed and get sick because I was pushing you away"
Arthur reached out to kiss him on the lips, chaste.
"You really are an unusual Omega: strong, stubborn and proud. Beautiful. Unique. And now, mine"
Merlin kissed his lips in turn, lowering his voice.
"If I had rejected you so much right away, it was because I knew what would have happened: exactly this. We have established the Bond... it has been impossible to stop when everything became clear"
Arthur clenched his jaw as he returned to that truth, which was not just a wonderful thing, but also a big problem now.
Merlin felt a chill running down his back, as he too returned his mind to that thought, like the Alpha. He tried to remain still, clinging to that intimacy, because he knew that once they would begin to discuss the most complicated issues, they would unfortunately lose it.
"Anyway, earlier you have said that your love for me was predictable… well…it wasn't. At least not for me. I have never felt its strength, its unlimited power... not until a few hours ago. Not to mention what you have done today ... with that girl! Yet, now I am realizing my naivety. You didn't bed her for real, did you?"
Arthur stared at him without answering. However, despite the silence, Merlin had no doubts and continued.
"There is no one else anymore when it happens. If an Alpha and an Omega recognize each other... the rest of the world disappears. It had happened with Gwen... I don't understand how I could have let myself be blinded by jealousy towards something that doesn't exist. A very stupid trick"
Arthur smiled.
"It worked though"
Merlin laughed, shaking his head.
"You drove me crazy!"
Arthur leaned over, lying on him and kissing him.
"But the result was excellent. Your anger ... your jealousy ... they were magnificent"
Merlin moved beneath him.
"I have hated you so much"
Arthur kissed him harder this time, slowly and softly stroking his tongue with his own, invading his mouth.
Taking his time to taste him again.
"Hate is just another side of love, Merlin. There would not be such a feeling if there wasn't an intense love behind it"
"Right"
Merlin pushed against him, wrapping his arms around his neck, moving under him, languid, opening his legs to make more room for the blond. He started to kiss him more intensely, showing him all his awakened desire...
However, sighing, Arthur pulled away from him with great effort, hurting himself to remain distant and with a clear mind.
"We need to talk..."
Reluctantly, Merlin broke away from his lips, nodding, and Arthur continued, frustrated in front of the eyes that instead were asking him more, promising a new ecstasy, making him sink into the feeling of belonging.
When Arthur's voice cut the air once again, it was no longer firm.
"As much as we would like not to go back to reality, we must do so immediately. We have a big problem: the Bond cannot be hidden. We will be judged and what is more in a too delicate moment"
Merlin nodded.
"I know..."
Arthur sat up, staring at him.
"We need to talk to someone that can help us to think clearly about this and see the right path. I had thought I could go out and call Gaius..."
Merlin nodded, getting up from his seat in turn.
"I agree ... he..."
Arthur went on, without giving him time to finish.
"I have told to him about my doubts... about us. He won't be too surprised with what has happened"
Merlin smiled.
"No... I guess he won't"
Then, Arthur stood up.
"I'm going to call him right away. I better go ... you can't come with me... anyone who meets you would notice immediately"
Merlin watched him get dressed quickly, letting go of the hours they had shared before, of the beauty of what they had, unfortunately sullied by the difficult reality of the world they were living in and that they had deliberately forgotten and locked out, when they had abandoned each other to their own instincts.
"I'll also get dressed..."
00000
The senior doctor wasn't sleeping when Arthur knocked on his door, entering.
"Gaius... fancy me seeing you up..."
Sitting at his kitchen table, Gaius was drinking tea and when he saw Arthur's breathless aspect, he stood up.
"Must be urgent then"
Arthur nodded.
"Something that can't wait"
The old doctor stepped forward, approaching him.
"I'll follow you... Let me take my bag..."
Arthur shook his head.
"It will not be necessary. We just need to talk"
Gaius stared at him.
"Merlin?"
Arthur nodded, staring silently in the doctor's eyes. However, he was eager to get back to his mate, to talk.
Gaius was silent in turn, trying to capture something in the Alpha's look, but failed to. Nevertheless, he sensed something.
"All right. Let's go. Lead the way"
00000
When Gaius and Arthur reached the house and the doctor went in, Merlin was standing in front of an open window, looking at the sunset: the night would be there soon to start a new day. The Omega was staring at the horizon, happy but melancholy, perhaps captured by it because of the happiness that was filling his heart with a new world, realizing that what was once, just a week before, wasn't him anymore… not only because of the Bond.
Even the flow of time had changed: the sunset had become the sunrise, and vice versa, even if... well... that detail was quite common to everyone, not just to him in that moment. However, after the Bond ... everything had become irrelevant.
Even the passing of the hours.
At least as long as he had Arthur by his side, obviously.
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Arthur stared at his mate, sensing his thoughts through the Bond and their deep connection, become like a common thread. He reflected that despite the hopes for the future, of some kind of salvation, everything was still unknown nevertheless: they didn't know what would really change in the new world and what would remain the same. The concern began to be felt again, after the euphoria of the previous forty-eight hours, following the discovery of the prophecy and therefore of the salvation.
After the Bond.
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Merlin turned, communicating his welcome back to Arthur with the sweetness of his smell. Then, he turned to Gaius, who had not uttered a word yet. Nevertheless, he had understood everything when he felt Merlin's smell, which had changed into that of a Mated Omega and with Arthur's essence imprinted all over him.
"Hi, Gaius..."
The senior doctor approached him and gave him a fatherly hug, without judging; on the contrary, he gave him the support the two boys needed and that they were asking from him by calling him in there.
"I wish I could say that what you have done is a terrible idiocy, a big mistake... but instead the only thing I can think of is that I'm sincerely and affectionately happy for the two of you"
Merlin openly smiled at those words of comfort and in the distance, Arthur was smiling too, putting his hands on his hips, spreading around, as if to underline the obvious… although there was no need to point out the Bond already in place.
Gaius turned to looked at the King.
"I congratulate you... although I fear I will be the only one to"
Arthur nodded.
"This is why you are here. We need to talk, Gaius. We need advice. In this case, as a man and as a King, I need to understand what to do, to see clearly the best path to take for Merlin and me, but also for all the survivors. I cannot do this alone. I have to protect my mate. We have established the Bond for less than a day and, not only we cannot share it as we should, isolated from the world as nature commands, but we also have to decide what to do now..."
Gaius nodded, serious.
"Let's sit down"
Arthur moved and all three of them took a seat at a table in the center of the small hall.
"What about your knights?"
Arthur shook his head.
"Percival and Leon still know nothing. They have... spent the last few hours out. I have no idea with whom. They were quite contended"
That joke lifted the mood and Merlin laughed, followed by Gaius.
"After travelling all these months, all those girls must have gone to their head"
Merlin glared at him, remembering what had happened at dinner, and Arthur fell silent, serious. He started to talk of what concerned them.
"Gaius... my idea regarding the Bond has always been to bring it back, to restore the old laws about the races, giving them their dignity back and with that also the strength of what they distinctly and truly represent for life... I'm going to carry out this intent as soon as we reach the new world. My men ... my people, whoever knows me well, is aware of this project of mine, and so does Merlin... and my first instinct is telling me to do this sooner, to use this Bond to anticipate everything..."
Gaius nodded, staring at him.
"Arthur... perhaps we should reflect better this situation..."
The King nodded.
"This is why we are here… to talk. I just don't want to make this choice alone… It is not only my life that is at stake"
"Sire... Your project is very honorable and ambitious. But as such, you have to understand that it is not supported by the short term… You would do well to be aware of it"
Merlin stiffened, knowing that he had to tell his opinion too at some point: Arthur saw things from an Alpha's point of view, but on the other hand, Merlin was on the other side… he knew the life of the Omegas and also of the Betas. He knew how the head of the two races worked, having lived with both. Therefore, he thought about what according to him would be the best thing to do.
In the meantime, Gaius continued.
"Moreover... we must consider the delicate phase of transition in which we find ourselves. We are facing a radical change... How many people would be ready to support what you are asking offhand?"
Merlin stood up, needing to move in order to focus and say what he had to.
"I agree with Gaius."
Arthur nodded and stared at him, concentrated.
"What do you think?"
Merlin folded his arms across his chest, tense.
"First of all... how many would be willing to follow a king, a leader, who is the first to go against the law? We have given in to the Bond in good faith and without an agenda. However, would the others take our word for it? How much would they trust and respect us? The others don't know you like your people do. There would be the risk of a rebellion, of a overthrow, perhaps even of the will to look for a new leader, which would force everyone to precipitate into chaos. A chaos that with many men spread in the five kingdoms at the moment, combined with the unknown of the future, with the fear of what will be and with the distrust regarding the prophecy, that someone still considers a legend, is not advisable. The revolts would be certain"
Arthur straighten his back, crossing his arms in turn.
"I'm listening..."
"Besides, about the racial laws in force, we have to consider that despite the fact that they may be unjust, people have been living this way for hundreds of years... how would they see a return to the past? It is not so obvious. Think about the extreme power conquered by the Alphas over the Omegas, about the fact that they can have many mates, that they are used to take without asking... including lie with whoever they want. Think about the Betas, about the potential they have today, even though they are forced to live at the end of the world… they are free and above all, free to hold positions of power since the Alphas had started to choose them as mates or lovers…positions that once (with the old laws) belonged only to the Omegas. How many Betas would really like to change this situation?"
Arthur stared at him, clenching his jaw.
"I have always thought that a return to the old laws would have been well accepted"
Gaius shook his head.
"Perhaps, Arthur, but we cannot be so sure... Merlin is right... it is true that the social pyramid of the races given by the actual laws has imposed restrictions, but has also granted new ways to live, which I fear will not be so easy to change. The only chance I see for the future is not the readmission of the ancient laws, but the thought of drawing new ones, based on those fairer, that can give everyone a choice..."
Welcoming Merlin and Gaius's reasonable claims, Arthur continued.
"For example we could solve the problem by giving to all the Omegas the opportunity to choose the Bond or nor without being forced by the Alphas and to the Betas the right to continue to hold positions of power even if they aren't Alphas' mates..."
Gaius nodded.
"I think it's a good idea, Sire. But it would be a big revolution..."
Merlin emphasizes Gaius's concept by staring at his mate, adoring his stubbornness, the desire to find a solution for everyone and not only for the two of them.
"Arthur, we are talking about something absolutely right, but that we can't do in a matter of hours. On the other hand, however, we have to decide now whether to reveal ourselves or not…"
Merlin approached the table again.
"…Without neglecting the fact that, as I have said before, part of the Chosen Ones may reject you as their leader, despite being the last Pendragon. They will not follow someone who prides himself to want to lead, but then it's the first to go against the law. And we cannot lose you as our leader, that's obvious. This is what I feared the most. The Bond has complicated everything"
Arthur stood up, making a decision.
"So be it. We have to keep it a secret at least until we will all be at the split mountain, at the portal ... every people, every single Chosen One. We can't allow ourselves to destabilize their minds before then"
Gaius nodded.
"I think this would be the best solution. Then, when we will all be in front of the sword, the priorities will be others. This discussion can be postponed"
Arthur looked up at the ceiling, thinking aloud.
"Postponing doesn't mean just that. When everyone will be safe, they will certainly be also able to find a new leader if they wish to. By then, I will have fulfilled my task, which is to lead you to a new world. From that moment on, I will be able to exclude myself or to be excluded from the games. Nevertheless, my destiny would be fulfilled and I would have done what I have to without regret … so much that I will accept any judgment regarding my actions"
Merlin felt his heart tightening, conscious of how that reasoning matched perfectly, and yet it was still incomplete. In fact, his argument couldn't explain Merlin's part, or rather, his role in this future. But how could him? When even Merlin himself was still unaware of what he really was, as a Catha and as a Dragonlord…
He was going to talk to Arthur about this as soon as they were alone and on the way. He had decided it earlier, while meditating, tight in his arms…Provided, however, they could find a way to get away from the village without anyone finding out about what had happened between them, about the Bond.
Merlin stared at Arthur, at his absolute transparency, at his royalty and majesty, promising himself that he would do anything to protect what was his destiny and greatness as a King and as a leader.
What he had said earlier was true; it was his most sincere and deep opinion: the new world needed Arthur. There was no one who possessed his ability to lead the survivors, his instincts, his wisdom, his noble heart and courage.
No one could question his role. No one should dare do it.
If he had to, in order to avoid Arthur being dethroned, Merlin would give up even his own life - he decided, filled by that personal choice that he now was considering as an absolute truth, only his and unconfessable.
In fact, Merlin looked at him and understood.
He understood that in order to keep Arthur in his rightful place if things were to get bad, he would not go to the planet of the Dragon… he would remain on Earth, to die, solving this problem immediately. By doing this, he would leave Arthur his destiny, in the greatest act of love he could ever make.
Without the Omega with which he had established the Bond, the King couldn't be judged, nobody would be able to remove him, and Arthur would continue being the leader that he was.
And Merlin? Well...
He would die knowing he had done it for love, for a noble cause.
For Arthur.
When he emerged from his thoughts, he realized that the Alpha was talking again.
"All right. Here's what we'll do: we'll pretend that Merlin has left before me with you, Gaius, and Percival with the excuse to go back to his village due to urgent things to resolve before reaching the mountain. No one will see him leave and no one will meet him. But actually, he will stop along the way and I will join him at the last shelter we have been before arriving here. Merlin will wait for me there... then, we will travel together toward the split mountain. From then on, we will be in the hands of destiny"
Gaius nodded.
"It seems feasible. Percival? He will understand... will you be the one to talk to him?"
Arthur nodded, sure.
"He is one of my men: he will not make a fuss. He will do what I tell him. He will know the truth from me before leaving"
Merlin sighed before answering: he had always known he would have to be separated from Arthur at some point, but now that it was happening, it was difficult to deal with it. Even if it was just for a few hours.
The Bond was also a mental and chemical factor that called them toward each other, not only an emotional thread.
"All right then, I will prepare my things at once"
Arthur and Gaius nodded.
Once everything was clear, the King continued, "We will see each other again in a few hours, Merlin. Gaius... take care of yourself"
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Gaius walked out, leaving them alone, and Arthur took Merlin in his arms to say goodbye as he wanted to.
"Everything will be fine. I will be there with you in no time. Just wait for me and be safe. I will order Percival to protect you with his life. I am scared out of my wits to let you go without me. The next few hours will be very hard. I'll be worried about you all the time"
Merlin smiled, trying to be strong. He knew he had to reassure him somehow. His Alpha was very worried about him.
"I'll be fine. But you hurry up nevertheless"
Arthur kissed him firmly on the lips to give him a feeling of security. Then, he let him go to look for Percival.
"You are mine now, Merlin. You need not fear anything anymore. I will take care of you no matter what happens"
Merlin stared at him, his heart was beating very fast. At that time, he didn't know if that muscle was larger or smaller than usual in his chest. Its size was confused. The only thing he could make out was that the organ had a reason of his own, involuntary, which was ignoring his mind that kept telling him it was the right thing to do, while his heart beating was telling his soul that the separation would be very long.