3 MONTHS AGO:

Prentiss

I walked through the airport with my 4 year old daughter, Ainsley, at my side and her nanny at my other. Sarah found me two years ago a few days before Ainsley's second birthday. She had nothing in her life. No job, no diploma, no family or friends, not even a house or car and she was 25. She asked if I was interested in a nanny for my child. I had recently broken up with my boyfriend then and I was in desperate need for some company other than a 2 year old so I accepted. I offered for her to live with us. I paid for her food; I refused to let her pay rent and I paid her on a weekly wage for looking after Ainsley when I was working. She had bought a car with the money I was paying so she was using her earned money for gas and for food and activities if she had taken Ainsley out of the house and around town. She had become like another daughter and she quickly became a best friend. I got back with my boyfriend within a few weeks, though.

"So what's the plan?" She asked. She knew about Morgan and the team and my last visit here four years ago. I hadn't seen them in person for four years and now I was here a few days before New Year's Eve. We video called a few times and I talked on social media, text, call and communicated through games but never anything too informative. None of them had any idea about Ainsley, not even her own father. I was so disappointed and upset with myself over that.

Every night she asked me when she gets to see him. I show her photos of him and the team so she knows who they are; she's just never actually gotten to meet them. I was afraid of how all of this would go down. I had a few days to spare this time. I was planning on seeing Morgan tonight as it was only early evening and then he could meet his daughter and spent a few days with her before I had to go back to London.

My main fear was if he didn't want to see her. What if he didn't care or didn't want to know her? He missed the first four years, what's to say he wouldn't want to miss the rest? But that wasn't like Morgan; that was never like Morgan.

"So I'm going to take you two to the hotel, you're going to stay there while I go to Morgan's apartment. I'll tell him, get it over and done with and then if it's what he wants, I'll bring him to the hotel to meet her."

"And if you come back with him, do you want me to disappear?"

"No, I want you to meet him." I smiled.

"Are you sure? I mean, these aren't the best circumstances."

"This is my own fault. I should have just told him four years ago when she was just a bump."

"But that wasn't your fault. He needed to go and work a case. You didn't murder someone or organise for them to be called to a case, it just happened. Luck wasn't really on your side there."

"It never is." I shook my head.

"Mummy?" Ainsley asked me quietly, "My legs hurt." I lifted her up and Sarah took my bag voluntarily. "Where are we?"

"Virginia." I said quietly. She didn't know what we were doing here because I didn't want to get her hopes up with the slight possibility of Morgan rejecting her. That would break her heart so I just said we were going for a little trip. Sarah knew not to tell her anything, too.

"If he wants to meet her, do we see the rest of the team?" Sarah asked me quietly.

I nodded, "Yeah, I don't see why not."

"So Spencer then?" Her eyes were hopeful.

I stopped walking and looked at her with a small smirk, "What is that?"

"What?"

"So you, Sarah Dowling, are interested in Doctor Spencer Reid, the genius, the BAU's prodigy, the one and only—"

"Stop. I'm not interested, I just think he's cute and he's close to my age and he seems great based on what you've told me."

"You're 5 years apart. He's 32."

"That's close." She smiled.

"I'm only three years older than Morgan."

She raised her eyebrows, "Are you, Emily Prentiss, in love with Derek Morgan?"

"No." I shook my head and laughed, "People don't always fall in love with the father of their child."

"If you did love him, would you tell him before or after telling him about Ains?" She asked as we started walking again.

"Probably after." I shrugged my shoulders, "I don't know, why?"

"Just curious."

We made our way outside and I hailed a cab. We went to the hotel and I went inside with them to make sure they checked in and knew where they were going. Sarah suffered from anxiety and she often felt very unsure about everything she did because of it. She's always had a bit of trouble talking to people she didn't know so I was happy to check in for us and make sure she felt okay with where she was.

"Can we watch TV?" Ainsley asked me as she ran in and jumped on the queen bed. There was a queen and a single.

"You can." I smiled at her. Sarah sat down on the end of the queen and turned it on. She looked up at me.

"Good luck."

"Thanks." I smiled, "Um…I'll text or call you with the results after I actually work up the courage to tell him."

She smiled, "Don't freak out."

I laughed to myself with no humour. I kissed Ainsley's cheek, "You listen to Sarah, okay? Just because we're not home doesn't mean she isn't in charge."

"A time for bed?" She asked me.

"9, 9:30 at the latest."

She nodded, "Okay, cool. Bye."

I went to walk out and stopped, "Oh, I'll leave my card." I put it on the table near the door, "You can order room service when you're hungry." I picked up the key card and walked out, closing the door behind me. I heard it lock automatically and I walked down the hall. I stepped into the elevator and got my phone out of my pocket. I found Morgan's contact and texted as I walked out on the ground floor.

"You busy?"

I hailed another cab and he replied after a few minutes of the drive. "Just got home. Haven't heard from you for a while…are you okay?"

I locked my phone without replying and waited patiently in silence. I handed the money to the cab driver and thanked him before stepping out and walking to the building. I walked in through the door. Normally you'd have to buzz and wait for whoever you were visiting to let you through but the lock was broken. It had been for years. No one in the building seemed to care, considering it was still broken after all this time. I walked up two floors and stood at his door, taking a few deep breaths.

I knocked three times quickly. I contemplated turning and running; this was my last chance. I looked behind me but turned back when I heard the locks on the door. It opened and I saw a shirtless Morgan on the other side. His eyes widened, "Emily! Hey!" He stepped to the side and motioned for me to come in. I walked in and he closed the door before hugging me.

"Hey." I said quietly in his arms. When we separated, I took my jacket off and hung it on the hook near the door where I always used to hang it.

He walked to the kitchen and motioned for me to follow. I trailed a step behind him and he turned the teakettle on. "Coffee?"

"Please," I smiled and sat down at the counter island, "So, how've you been?"

"Over the past four years? It's been one hell of a ride," He nodded, "I mean, my best friend left, and then she left again and never came back. Every time I mentioned going to see her, she always had something on even before she knew the timeframe. Then we got a new agent and she sits at your desk and it's just not the same. Garcia hates her, and I mean hates her. I thought she'd like her but apparently not. JJ gets along with her but she'd never refer to her as a best friend like she does the rest of us. Reid denies it but he doesn't like her. Rossi doesn't even like her that much. Hell, Hotch doesn't. I certainly don't."

"What's her name?"

"Deanna Ferelli."

"Is she nice? What does she look like?"

"She has light brown hair, short, isn't nearly as good at her job or experienced as anyone else on the team. She's nice enough, but she isn't you."

"Well that's the point; you're supposed to find someone that isn't me. Maybe she isn't who you should have recruited, considering no one likes her…but someone that isn't me is the ideal choice."

"What happened to you?" He asked. He had his back to my now as he poured the boiling water into a mug with the coffee. He added milk and stirred it. He remembered how I always had it.

"What?" I asked as he slid the mug over to me. He walked around the counter and sat beside me.

"What happened to you?" He repeated, "You disappeared. No one has heard from you in months, you never came back to visit, you just left our lives."

"There's been a lot going on lately, I literally have had no time on my hands to get back to anyone in the last few months. I never came to visit because Interpol is almost always busy. I was lucky to get a few days now. I didn't intend on leaving your lives."

"You know that JJ is a mess? Her best friend, the one person she could count on with absolutely anything, never called her back, never answered her texts when she needed you to. She's been having a really hard time lately and she won't let any of us help her. She wants you."

I sighed and looked down at the coffee, "I'll go see her tomorrow."

"Garcia has a million photos of you around her office. Her phone background has been this one photo of the three of you for two years straight. She misses you like crazy. She's always talking about how any day now, Emily Prentiss would walk through those glass doors for us to see her again. Every morning, she looks at them for five minutes before going to her office with an upset frown. You'd think that after four years, they'd forget about the hope of seeing you again and just focus on when they used to see you but they just can't. None of us can, actually. When Gideon left, nothing like this happened. Reid was upset and still does get upset sometimes but we all moved on. When JJ left for a year, we survived. We didn't sit there and wait for the day for her to walk back in."

"I'm so sorry." I said quietly.

"Hotch tried to fix it but even he is a little different. Sometimes I watch him through the window on the days where we talk about you, he looks at those glass doors several times throughout the day. Rossi lost a daughter, Reid and I lost a best friend. Reid, he's doing okay when at work, but after hours, he thinks about you a lot."

Tears fell down my cheeks, "I didn't mean to ruin everything. I was going to come back but whenever I booked a plane ticket, I would have to cancel it.

He nodded, "Garcia tracked you once last year and saw the booked ticket. She was so excited, it was insane how elated she was, but then when she checked the next day, it was cancelled. I hadn't seen her cry that much since you left," He was looking at his coffee, "Hotch banned her from looking into you after that."

"I wanted to come back sooner, I really did."

"I'm sure you did." He nodded slowly.

"Morgan?"

"Yeah?"

"I…I have something—" I stopped when he looked up. His eyes had tears in them and from the moment they met mine, every thought inside my head disappeared. Everything was gone and replaced with nothing.

"You have something…?" He raised his eyebrows.

I didn't mean what I did next. I leant forwards and kissed him. Once I pulled away, he stared into my eyes in shock for a few seconds before returning the kiss. He lifted me from the chair and carried me to his room eventually and then…well…the night went on.

I woke early in the morning and jumped up from under his arm, waking him up in the process. I searched frantically for my clothes and he sat up. "What are you doing?"

"I need to go."

"What? I thought you had a few days…"

"I do, but I have Ain—someone…at a hotel waiting for me." I said quickly as I clipped my bra up and threw my shirt on. I realised once I had pants on that it was his shirt, not mine. I didn't know where mine was but this one was closer.

He sat back, "Please don't tell me you have a boyfriend."

I looked at him and hesitated. Do I lie and say I do? Well, it wouldn't be a lie, I did have a boyfriend but that wasn't why I was leaving. Do I say I don't and tell him about Ainsley now? I got distracted last night and I was freaking out now. I walked out without answering that and he stood, following me, sliding a pair of shorts on as he did. "Emily, talk to me."

"I don't have a boyfriend." I lied, shaking my head, "But I have to go and I will call you. I will. I'll call JJ and Garcia and everyone on the team but I need to go."

"Are you going back to London?" He asked as he stood at the door that I had walked out of.

"I don't know yet. Maybe," I said, "Thanks for last night!" I called as I walked down the stairs. Tears fell from my eyes when I hailed a cab and made my way back to the hotel. What had I done? I changed my shirt, grabbed Sarah and Ainsley and ran. We got on the next flight back to London.