AN I have received reviews on this story and I would like to clear a few things up. I understand everyone has their opinions and comments on what they read. It's freewill after all. But if you don't give a story a chance to develop and the characters a chance to develop then what is the point of reading a story. I don't claim to be an accomplished author or get money for what I write. I write for fun and enjoyment. I don't just speak for myself comments and reviews are good no matter if they are good or bad as long as they help in correcting things in the story. But just stating that a story is a disappointment and doesn't meet what you would expect for your own reading isn't creative criticism and doesn't help anyone. It would be like someone learning to play an instrument or rehearsing for a play and all they are told is that they were rubbish and nothing else. Writing for sites like this isn't a piece of cake.
If you are reviewing or commenting on a story please leave CREATIVE CRITICISM not put downs and bad reviews or comments that are pointless. Respect that people may loose their train of thought when writing and miss things out or mess up a scene. Read author notes incase there is something that explains why things have been missed out. Wait for questions to be answered and ask your own questions in reviews or pms. If something doesn't make sense or looks like its been missed out ask the author. Give ideas in reviews or pms. All of this helps an author on sites like this and can help make things to us be made aware of or a little clearer on what you would like to see.
If nothing else don't leave reviews as a guest leave a name. Or give it a go yourself. Like I said writing isn't a piece of cake no matter what fan fiction site its for. And if you ask J K Rowling, Stephen King, Lee Child, Stephanie Meyer or any other known authors they would say the same thing when they started out. I'm sorry if anyone takes offence but I had to clear it up.