Prentiss

Morgan drove back to the precinct after the anomaly scan at the hospital. The child was healthy, developing properly and there were no problems found. The baby had started kicking later than many second pregnancies but I could feel it often since the end of last week. We were silent for a while before I decided to break it.

"Do you want to baptise Ainsley?" I asked him quietly, looking to him.

He glanced at me briefly before looking back to the road, "If you want."

"Morgan, I ask if you want to. I don't mind whether we do or not."

"Then why bring it up?"

"Because maybe you want it like that…and I don't know, I feel like we should give her godparents, considering the career we're in."

"Would you choose Sarah, JJ or Garcia?"

"I would probably choose JJ to be honest. Sarah's younger; she still has her own life to live and her own kids to have. Plus, Ainsley is named after JJ and it just seems like it should be her, but it depends on what you think. I figured that this one would be named after Garcia so she would be her godmother."

He nodded, "And godfathers?"

"You're meant to have a say in this too. You're not supposed to just go with what I say unless it's actually what you want."

"JJ and Garcia sound fine," He said, "Besides, I didn't get a say in anything else; why should I now?" We pulled into the precinct lot and got out of the car. He walked towards the building quickly, locking the car as he went with the button lock. I followed behind him, too far to have this conversation privately.

"Morgan, come on. Stop." I said as we walked through the safety precautions set up to get through the building. He walked to the elevators and I followed behind him, "Please talk to me."

He stepped in and stood in silence, watching as the numbers ticked over until we reached the sixth floor. I took the short time to think of what to say. "It wasn't fair on me for you to block me out for that long, Prentiss." He said quietly as he walked out and towards the glass doors.

"I know it wasn't but how many times do you want me to apologise? I can't just go back and change everything but I would if it were possible. I don't know what else you want me to do."

"You shouldn't need to do anything now because you should have told me when you first knew." He said as he walked over to our desks.

"Well I didn't and I'm sorry but I can't change it now, Morgan. What do you expect me to do?"

"Let me be a part of this one's life."

"You are a part of Ainsley's life, a very big part, and I was never going to push you away from this one." I shook my head.

"No, but you seem to have a habit of leaving."

"Hey, I only left once with the information of it. I had no idea I was pregnant when I left 4 years ago."

"Twice," He corrected, "You came about four or five months after you found out, left without telling me, came back, slept with me and then left without telling me again."

I sighed and closed my eyes briefly to calm myself as I saw the team approaching, "I said I was sorry about keeping it from you and I have continued to apologise. I am still sorry that I kept Ainsley from you but I'm not going to make the same mistake this time. If you want to be in her life, you will be. If you don't, then I'll keep her away from you."

"Of course I want to be a part of her life; I just said that."

"Hey guys, how'd the appointment go?" JJ asked as the team reached us.

Neither of us answered, we stood looking at each other, me with an apologetic and soft expression and him with one of anger and disappointment.

"Oh, that sounds great." JJ said sarcastically. When neither of us so much as glanced, she put her hand up and clicked in front of me face, "Hey, hello?"

I looked at her now, letting Morgan win that stare down. "Hi."

"So?"

"It's fine, everything's fine." I nodded.

"And the gender?" Reid smiled.

I looked back at Morgan, "Are we telling them or not?" He shrugged his shoulders and walked to his desk silently, sitting down and opening a file.

"Uh…what's wrong with hot chocolate over there?" Garcia asked, "Is everything not fine?"

"The baby's fine, Morgan is angry with me."

"Why?" Rossi asked.

I sighed and looked down, "Because I didn't tell him about Ainsley sooner and because he thinks I'm going to leave with this one." I motioned to my stomach.

"…Are you? Going to leave?" Reid asked quietly.

"No," I shook my head, "Morgan wants to be a part of its life and so he will be."

"Well you've apologised enough, what more does he want?" JJ asked.

Morgan spoke before I could, "I want you to stay out of it, JJ." His voice was agitated and tired. She opened her mouth to shoot back but I stopped her and shook my head.

"Don't, you'll just make it worse." My voice was tired too.

"Well let's move from that topic back to this one. Gender?" Garcia asked again, putting her hand on my bump. "Oh! It kicked again!"

I had a frown on my lips now, discomfort and pain in my eyes, "Yeah, she has been all day. It really hurts."

"…She?" Hotch smirked.

I smiled and nodded, "She."

"Ah! Another baby girl!" Garcia said excitedly, throwing her hands around me and pulling me into a hug. I returned it and hugged the equally excited JJ next. Reid hugged me, Rossi kissed both my cheeks and Hotch kissed one cheek and hugged me briefly as a congratulations.

"Congratulations, Morgan!" JJ said with a smile.

"Yeah, thanks." He said quietly.

I bit my lip and my mood dropped again. I hated that he was still hurt and angry with me. I hated that I had caused so much pain for him. Sure, he got to see her whenever possible now, but he missed the first 4 years of her life. He missed watching her develop from a newborn to a toddler, he missed her first smile, first word, first steps. He missed the first time she laughed; he never experienced the feeling of her running up to him when she had just learnt and being able to swipe her up with joy and pride. He missed the first time she sung a full song by herself, the first letter she ever drew. He didn't get to help teach her anything of those ages. He didn't watch with anticipation as she tried to write her name day in, day out. He didn't know that the second word she ever said was 'daddy' and I had never told him that.

I walked over to his desk and waited for him to acknowledge me. He looked up and waited for me to speak, "The second word she ever spelt out clearly was 'daddy'," I said quietly, "Her second word was 'daddy', the one thing she remembered every morning and before bed every day was to kiss daddy. I know it wasn't fair on you to be oblivious to the fact that you had a daughter and even worse that you never got to watch her develop through those first four years. It wasn't fair on you to miss the first word, smile, laugh or step. None of this is fair on you, but as much as I would and want to, I can't change what I did, but you have her now and you can see her anytime you want or do whatever you want with her to make her happy. I can't change the past, but I can decide what I do for the future and I know that never will I dare to leave and take her away from you, Derek.
"You can witness everything with this one and you know that. I'm not stopping you from being in their lives." I put my hand over my stomach where I felt her kick again, the small pain making me uncomfortable; I took his hand and placed it over where she was moving.

"That's so weird." He said quietly once he took his hand away.

I smiled, "At least you're feeling it from the outside." He laughed at me and I knew at this point that it was forgiveness he was granting me. "I'm so sorry, Morgan." I said quieter.

He smiled at me guilty, "No, I'm sorry. You've apologised enough and I just keep making you feel bad about it over and over again. I know it can't change now," He assured, "I just wish you—never mind."

"No, you can't do that." I shook my head.

"Do what?"

"Start a sentence like that in this conversation and then stop and change your mind. Tell me."

He shook his head, "Don't worry about it."

"Morgan—"

"Kiss me." He cut me off.

I looked at him in shock, "What?"

"That shut you up, didn't it?" He smirked and laughed at my stunned face. "Get to work now, princess." So it was a joke. I wasn't sure whether I was happy or not when he had said those two words. I was longing to hear them 6 months ago back when I was still in London and trying to plan my trip back here. Now, I wasn't sure I felt about any of this. Did I love him or did I love the idea of being with the father of my children? If I gave it a few weeks, months even, maybe the emotions would become clearer to me. I'd have to give it time.

I walked into the apartment after a long day at work. I had stopped by Garcia's on my way home to borrow a book and I spent some time with Sergio. Sarah and Reid were now on the couch and hadn't heard my entry. It was strange to me to see Reid kissing someone. He always seemed so awkward and single by choice, but he didn't look awkward at all right now. I watched for a few more seconds before I realised how weird this was and I walked into the open living room. They still hadn't noticed me, their eyes closed as their lips caressed each other's.

I laughed to myself quietly, "That's how I got pregnant." They parted instantly, startled by my presence. Reid put his hand over his mouth and looked in the opposite direction of me. Sarah looked at me and rolled her eyes.

"How long were you standing there?"

"I only just walked in," I laughed, "I'm going to kiss Ainsley goodnight and watch a movie in my room, so carry on. Don't get too loud." I winked and walked back down the hall. I opened my door and threw my bag to the bed. I stood in the doorway and listened hard.

"…She said carry on…" I heard Sarah say quietly. I recognised Reid's small laugh and then silence fell in the house apart from the quiet whisper of their lips connecting again. I shook my head to myself and walked to the next room, opening Ainsley's door silently and walking in. I brushed her hair behind her ear and kissed her forehead before walking back out, closing the door again. I heard the small click of the door and I decided that I wanted to shower before I went to bed. I grabbed my bath robe and went to the bathroom. I showered, brushed my hair out and lay in my bed, watching whatever movie I picked out of the pile in the cabinet underneath my TV. They were mostly films that were either too inappropriate for a four year old or too complicated for a four year old.