A/N: Stronger language will appear just a bit, just as a warning. If this bugs you, I'm sorry! It'll be brief.
Chapter Nine: The Avatar State
"But it made me wonder - why is the Avatar Spirit a human in every life? Wouldn't it be better if the Avatar was an all powerful spirit that never died?"
"I don't think so. The Avatar must be compassionate towards all people... and the only way to do that is to live with them. The Avatar must experience sadness, anger, joy, and happiness. By feeling all these emotions, it helps you understand how precious human life is... so you will do anything to protect it. If you were an all powerful spirit living on the top of some mountain, you wouldn't have much in common with an ordinary person, so the Avatar continues to take human rebirth. And with each life, learns what it means to be human."
Aang and Yanchen- Escape From The Spirit World
Her eyes immediately stung from the stunning impact of plunging underwater, and terror seized her in it's painful grasp as the water swallowed her body.
The sea had always been a part of 'home', a benevolent force that commanded respect from all who sailed on it's waters and gathered it's bounty. From her earliest memories, Katara had always loved to play with the water, splashing around in the warm, shallow winter waves and making small waves of her own; laughing at her new found trick and marveling at how the water seemed to sing to her, begging her to play. Only once before had she ever felt afraid in the water, and that was a long time ago, when at the age of ten she had briefly been dragged underwater by the volital spirit Sedna. Aang had been there, however, and so had Dad. Now, there was another dragging her down into the increasingly cold depths, and for the first time there is no one to pull her out.
In the strange, vividly clear hindsight one has in the middle of a life threatening situation, Katara couldn't help but think that she must be the stupidest Avatar in existence. In her single minded desire to teach the slaver a lesson, she hadn't noticed him luring her in closer towards the edge of the platform until he swamped her out of the air mid-jump with a large wave meant to pull her into the water. Not having the best command of waterbending yet, Katara's attempts to redirect the wave hadn't succeeded- it only spurred her on to do the next best thing and wildly grasp the man's stupid fur lined cape in a last ditch effort to keep herself out of the water. With startled cries they had both ended up in the water with the cape flipping over Wild Man Kannir's head as they went; giving Katara a single stunned moment alone in the murky water before she felt his hand grasp the fabric of her dress and pull, using waterbending to drag her down with him into the depths.
He's going to kill me! He's going to kill me in my own element!
Panic seizing her, Katara lashed out, trying to shake free of the vice-like hold and stop him from dragging her down to the bottom of the harbor, the pressure building up painfully in her head the farther down they went. She wasn't entirely sure what she was doing, as it had always been too cold back home to practice waterbening under the surface; but instinct and panic gave her uncoordinated waterbending kicks more power behind it's force. The first two water kicks missed as the slaver twisted, redirecting her wild bending (thankfully stopping their descent in order to do so), while the next two connected with his gut, loosening his hold. The final kick pushed him away, giving her a tiny flash of vindication before the water around her suddenly gripped her with crushing force. It was startling enough to make Katara gasp, and then gag and choke as her lungs felt the searing burn of polluted salt water rush in with the instinctive breath. She had just enough clarity in the dim murkiness to see the self satisfied smirk on Kannir's face before he thrust both hands down, forcing her down at an incredible rate while using the momentum to make himself rise, his form blurring as it became smaller and black dots began to dance before her eyes from the incredible pressure and lack of air.
The faint, drifting thought of Swim! Live! seemed to come from far, far away, as if it was someone else urging her instead of herself, though she couldn't seem to will her now leaden muscles to obey. The detached thought of what a failure she was seemed to stretch out like a string being pulled, thinner than spiderfly silk, until it - and the rest of the world - faded into darkness.
Breaking the surface with a gasp, Kannir let out a breathless, sputtering laugh as he bent himself up onto the dock, lurching slightly and holding a hand to his rather sore midsection before straightening fully and peering into the water with some amounts of expectation. Baby Avatar or not, the kid's tenacity was thoroughly surprising. His lower ribs were starting to throb a little from the power of her kicks, now that he was out of the water, and he was a little lightheaded from the extended amount of time that the surprise underwater battle had taken. He half expected the girl to resurface any second now.
The water however had since smoothed from when he had disturbed it, and the trail of bubbles had ended before he had even begun to look for them. Foolish girl, He thought derisively, smiling grimly, She must have been playing a trick on me with that bending of her's. She's no Avatar.
The slaver was just about to turn to deal with the teeming mass of chaos that filled the rest of the workman docks when a sharp, stunning blow struck the back of his head; sending him reeling forward into the water with a startled cry. Though he was unable to see the furious spirit boy who had plowed into him, he was able to see the bright, shining light that suddenly cut though the murky water fathoms below. A stream of bubbles and an impending sense of alarm were the last things that registered for Kannir as the light and the rushing combination of water and air rushed up from the depths and slammed into him. The fatal impact crushed his ribs and sent a small burst of scarlet into the water before his body was swept aside, the young Avatar rocketing to the surface.
Everyone on the docks turned and froze at the sight of the towering waterspout holding the Avatar aloft, and no one felt more relief at her reappearance than Sokka, Suki, and Aang- even if her eyes burned bright with the frightening glow of the Avatar State. The slaves instinctively cowered, many either staring in terrified awe or falling on their faces; while the ship captains and the crew members shouted in terror and tried to escape back onto their ships.
The sea immediately surged up in between the dock and the ships in the largest wave the children had ever seen. Terrified, the ones who had reached the ships shouted as the monstrous wave crashed up against the vessels, snapping their moorings and pushing them back out of the inlet. The last of the men who hadn't reached the ships in time made their final escape, rushing off the docks and into the town as fast as they could in their bid to escape the wrath of the young Avatar.
Staring down at the awestruck slaves for what seemed like small eternity, Katara felt herself lowering down to their level as the Avatar State faded away, weakly slumping forwards onto her hands and knees the moment she touched the sodden planks. Feeling Aang throw his arms around her shoulders steadied her, and she was able to muster a shaken smile when Sokka and Suki rushed over to her side moments later, Sokka taking her shoulders and prompting her to look him in the eye. "Katara! Are you hurt!?"
She coughed a little, feeling her lungs continue to burn like fire with every breath she took. "I'm... I'm ok. I'm ok, Sokka." Shivers began to set in, though she couldn't tell if it was from shock or from the sheer power that had been coursing through her mere moments ago. "I'm ok."
He shook her shoulders a little, his eyes bright with unshed tears. "Don't you dare do something so stupid ever again! Do you hear me?" He shook her a little again, before pulling her against himself in a crushing hug. "Never again! That was a stupid stunt you pulled! You could have died!"
Suki was watching the exchange with wide eyes, unsure of what she should do and feeling that it wasn't quite her place to interrupt the sibling moment. When Katara's eyes met her's however, she couldn't help but smile in relief that there were deep blue eyes looking back at her at all, and she found herself falling to her knees to join the hug. "You gave us a such a scare! When Sokka and I saw you were gone..."
Katara saw Aang nod from the the corner of her eye. "I think we all kind of freaked out," He admitted with a catch in his tone, "But you pulled through all by yourself! I'm so proud of you."
She smiled, and allowed herself to sag gratefully against the supportive weight of the three pairs of arms. "I'm sorry for scaring you guys," She coughed again, stronger this time, "But it's over. We're all ok."
Saying that phrase, 'I'm ok, we're ok', seemed to be the only thing that could sum up the feeling that brimmed up within her: the relief that it was over, that she had actually accomplished what she had set out to do... but most of all that they were all safe and relatively none the worse for wear. Watching the growing wonder and gratitude spread across the closest faces that made up the crowd of newly freed slaves, Katara couldn't help but smile and think that a near death experience was worth it.
A pretty, dark haired woman with warm amber eyes and a couple of scruffy kids closer to Sokka and Katara's age separated themselves from the stunned crowd, approaching the huddled knot of children with a cautious reverence- the two kids more openly awestruck than the woman, who offered a deep bow that seemed quite refined for a slave. "Avatar, words cannot express our gratitude over your compassion! Thank you."
"You were freakin' awesome!" The shorter child blurted out, his (or her, Katara couldn't quite tell) eyes alight with admiration and shaggy light brown hair bouncing wildly with the force of their enthusiasm. "You took that fuc-"
The second kid, a taller boy with short cropped black hair and a rather large nose, gave a pointed look that stalled the foul word from coming out fully, and the younger tried again with an embarrassed grimace. "Sorry. But the Wild Man had been trading people around here for years, and you took him down without a second thought! That was amazing!"
"No, it was terrifying and stupid," Sokka insisted, though a small grin was working it's way over his face.
Testing her strength and finding that most of the shivers were gone, Katara stood up fully and discreetly waterbent herself dry, not quite sure what she should say in the face of such praise. "I was just doing what was right. I couldn't just leave this place, knowing that you people were being treated this way. I had to do something."
A few more slaves, emboldened by the first three, now began to approach as well, all offering their most sincere thanks and concern over her well being, as well as getting near enough to get a good look at their new savior. The first three slaves still stayed by her side the entire time, however, even when the crowds (eventually) began to disperse, all speaking of where they all ought to go now that they were free to go where they pleased. "Where are you three going to go?" Suki asked, tilting a curious glance at the tall woman's unusual eyes. "Perhaps back to one of the colonies?"
The short, rude kid spat derisively before the woman could speak, his naturally raspy voice taking on a bitterness to it. "We're Earth Kingdom only! Those Fire Nation scumbags have no right to have colonies on our land. I come from a town way north of here, just outside of a colony."
The tall boy pressed his lips thin, and glanced down at his bare feet. The younger nodded sympathetically. "He came from a town that doesn't exist anymore, so he's got nowhere to go."
Katara and Aang exchanged a glance when they both noticed the woman balk for the first time, looking a touch uneasy. "Well, I am from a colony. It's rather far from here..."
The two children by her side instantly bristled, but the woman hurriedly raised her hands in an attempt to calm them. "Colonials aren't just Fire Nation, you know. Many are intermarried by now, and have children and grandchildren who have Earth Kingdom and Fire Nation blood. You can't judge by appearances, after all."
The underlying rebuke seemed to dampen the two kids' flash-bang hostility, though Sokka and Suki were both intrigued at the referral of interracial people within the colonies. Perhaps this lady was biracial herself?
Katara coughed again (seriously, when was this burning sensation going to go away?) before clearing her throat. "What if you tagged along with us? We can help you get back home."
Sokka and Suki were visibly startled at her idea, but Aang perked up. "Yeah, they need help still. Why not help them get home?"
The three blinked in surprise. "You'd do that?" The bushy haired kid asked, awed all over again. "After all you've done?"
Sokka groaned and hung his head, though he offered no real verbal protests. Aang guessed he was thinking about the various animals that Katara had dragged in over the years, all claiming that they needed help and a home. Seeing Katara's slightly mischievous smile, Aang could tell she was thinking of the same thing. "Of course. Why would we only help you guys halfway and then leave you here all alone?"
The relieved smiles that brightened their faces warmed her, and she didn't much care if Sokka and Suki had any protests. It was a great feeling to have helped so many, and it felt even better to go the extra mile and continue helping even after the crisis was over. Maybe this is what King Bumi meant when he said that this was my Avatar duty, She thought, the warmth spreading through her, This feels like something I've been wanting to do all my life, without ever knowing until now.
It took a few hours, but the docks slowly cleared out as everyone began to wander into town with a half formed concept of finding room and board, and perhaps a hot meal before moving on. The children all waited until everyone fully cleared out before they beckoned to their three new friends to follow them. "We'll need to get you three some new clothes," Suki pointed out, eying their dingy clothing as discreetly as she could, "And we'll need more food than we already have. Let's make a quick trip into town and buy what we need and get back to camp as soon as possible. There we can sit down and fully introduce ourselves, and figure out where we should go from here."
Everyone agreed that it was the wisest choice- the three newly freed slaves were wearing threadbare brown tunics and pants that didn't quite reach the knees, and none of them had shoes. Despite Sokka's suggestion otherwise, Katara insisted that she stay with them, claiming that walking around would do her (still burning) lungs a favor; and so the rest of the morning and early afternoon was spent visiting various shops, picking and choosing new clothes, bedding, and some more food. Thankfully, the town's shops had everything that they could have wanted (even a straw hat for the tall boy, who lit up as soon as Katara picked it out), and it wasn't too long before they were able to head back into camp and begin to set things in order.
Remaining unseen to all except Katara, Aang sat among the branches of the ancient white pines that surrounded the campsite and watched their new friends in bemusement as they scurried around to do their Avatar's bidding with wide eyes and ridiculous attentiveness. The tall boy still had yet to say anything at all (though he was unfailingly polite and was willing to do whatever it took to help out), making it somewhat difficult for everyone except his little friend to understand what it was he might have wanted to say. The younger kid, though he (or she, it was really difficult to tell) seemed to be around ten years old, was by far the most loud and foul mouthed person that any of them had ever encountered in their travels so far. He was willing to help out though, and was surprisingly proficient in helping Suki with a late supper of lotus root soup.
The kid's eyebrows creeped up the longer he watched Suki's pitiful attempts at cooking, and he hooked a thumb under his headband, readjusting it while rolling his eyes. "Sheesh, how on earth do you even survive on your own? You plan on marrying with those cooking skills under your belt?"
Suki bristled, annoyed at having it be pointed out for the hundredth time. "Who says I'm ever going to marry?" She blustered, "I'm a Kyoshi Warrior! As long as we are warriors, we don't marry at all... or cook, for that matter."
The kid perked up despite Suki's warning glare, his bright brown eyes widening. "You're a warrior? Really? But you're just a kid!" He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "So that's what's up with the fans and face paint..."
Sokka nodded sagely as he emerged from the woods, dropping more kindling by their feet and looking everywhere but in Suki's direction. "She's good at what she does. You should have seen her this morning when we were freeing all you guys, it was incredible!"
Katara (who was nearby setting up individual knapsacks in case they all needed to pack up quickly), arched a brow in surprise, and Suki stared at him dumbfounded. "You just gave me a compliment."
Huh. Yeah, he really had given her a compliment, didn't he? Aang perked up, interested to see what Sokka had to say.
"So?"
"So you've never said a good thing about me yet, and we've been traveling together for two weeks!"
Sokka shrugged, and Aang smirked when he noted it was the kind of shrug the water tribe boy had done since he was very young, the kind that came with a healthy dose of forced nonchalance that preceded an overdue apology. "Weeelllll... I've never really saw you in action before. You did better than me. I'm... I'm impressed.
Suki gaped at him, looking like she was ready to fall over from the shock, and Katara hid her face, pleased to see that little issue resolve itself. It seemed that today was going to full of all kinds of surprising changes...
The colonial woman watched the exchange with a knowing smile as she gingerly set about making up some tea. "I take it that this has been a long time in coming?" She carefully poured a measure out for themselves, trying and failing to hide her amusement.
Sokka coughed, poking the fire and stubbornly not meeting anyone's eyes. "Well, let's just say that I realized that my sister isn't the only one who is good at fighting."
It was all he was going to offer, but Aang, Katara and Suki all knew what a big deal it was for even that small nugget. Dazed, Suki shook her head, trying to sort out what just happened, eventually giving up on trying to boil the soup in favor of vanishing inside her tent and digging out her journal. Katara grinned, knowing Suki would be busy writing for the rest of the evening and wouldn't appear until she had sorted everything out on paper. "Well, I'm glad that's settled. Maybe we can continue our trip without hearing an argument every five seconds."
"Yeah yeah, I know. Our trip will go just fine- Aww man!" Sokka hung his head, groaning, "I just realized that with all our new strays tagging along we need to redo the whole route again!"
"Sokka, I'm sure it won't be too far out of our way-"
Even as she said it, Aang knew that her hurried reassurance came too late. Sokka was on 'go mode', and nothing was going to stop him as he manically hunted through their freshly organized bags for the maps, muttering plans and options under his breath and losing all interest in the outside world at large in a matter of seconds.
The woman quietly chuckled as she got up, quietly pressing a cup into Katara's chilly fingers with a maternal smile, patting her shoulder wryly. "Here. I was going to offer all three of you some tea, but it looks like you are the only one here with us to enjoy it. This will help warm you up and calm your mind after all of today's excitment. Your coughs are lessening, but this should chase the rest away for good."
Resolving to not get annoyed with Sokka's intrusion of her work, Katara breathed a sigh through her nose and took a cautious sip; and was pleasantly surprised at the smooth, well rounded flavor. "Wow. This is great! How did you get it to taste like this? Whenever I try to brew up the tea, it gets a little... bitey."
The woman smiled and neatly seated herself by Katara's side, leaving a cup by Sokka's knees in case he emerged from his planning any time soon. "My brother-in-law is the finest tea maker I know of, and he taught me how to brew certain teas. Your variety of green tea can be brewed too long if you let it, and that will add a bitter bite to it. Some people like it that stong, but a more delicate brew that lasts for only a minute or two brings out the true flavor."
Katara nodded, taking another sip and noting it's warmth and richness. She'd have to remember that tip. "So, you're married? Do you have family waiting for you up in the colonies?"
She regretted asking the question the moment the woman's face fell, a sharp sadness stripping away all merriment as she bowed her head. "...I am no longer married. My husband would not allow me to take my son and daughter with me when I left, and I haven't seen them in years." She studied Katara intently, her longing almost palpable. "You must be right around my daughter's age. She'll be twelve in just a few months."
The kid, still doctoring up the soup, leaned over the wafting steam and gave an experimental sniff, deciding that it was finally at a point that it didn't need any further alterations. He propped the stirring spoon over his shoulder like a hobo stick, trying to smile at the woman in a reassuring manner. "Don't worry lady, the Avatar's taking us home! Who knows, maybe she can convince your dickhead husband to let you see your kids again."
The tall boy coughed a little; a long suffering grin tugging at the corner of his lips at the crude language, and Katara smacked her forehead and groaned. Aang muffled his laughter behind a hand, stopping after a second when he noticed how the colonial woman had paled dramatically. Her expression remained carefully still, however; and she successfully managed to steer the topic back around to her young companion, with Aang being the only one the wiser to her odd reaction. "...So, what about you?" She asked the bushy haired kid, "Do you have family to go home to?"
The kid's thin lower lip popped out as he mulled it over, clearly unsure of himself judging by the way he worried at his weirdly prominent upper lip with his teeth. "I don't know," He said at last, plopping gracelessly down by the other boy's side, "I may have an aunt up north, but I'd rather figure out where else I should go- and where Longshot should go, since he's got no home to go back to." He pulled out the kris dagger he'd managed to find during the fight, fiddling with the wavy blade thoughtfully. "Maybe we can tag along with you guys until we find a good spot."
Sokka's brow rose, and he looked up from his map as he registered the last bit. "'Longshot'?"
The kid flashed them all a grin, flipping the dagger hilt-side up and sticking it back in his belt as he patted his friend's leg. "Well, his name is really Ling, though I call him Longshot- 'cause he's a wicked shot with anything that can be shot or thrown! We used to be owned by the same owner, before the place was raided by the Rough Rhinos and we ended up down here." The kid snorted, as if remembering a joke. "By the way, my name's Smellerbee."
Everyone but Longshot traded befuddled looks with each other. "Soooo... That's your real name? 'Smellerbee'?" Sokka asked dubiously. It didn't do much in clearing up the gender question... "That's um, an interesting name..."
The kid's shark-like smile radiated mischief as he propped his arms against his knees. "Yep! I used to be 'Taming', but I chose this one years ago, because people kept telling me that my name was too pretty for my face."
The smile widened, and Aang thought that he could pick up more and more feminine traces in Smellerbee's tone and face, the closer he looked. Taming was a coastal Earth Kingdom girl's name too, so perhaps Smellerbee really was a 'she' after all!
Smellerbee's next words confirmed the spirit boy's suspicion. "I wanted something that sounded cooler anyway, and my new name messes with people almost as much as my looks do! Nobody wants to sell a kid to a brothel if they can't tell what I am, though it gets annoying to be mistaken for a boy all the time."
Sokka cleared his throat and traded a look with his sister, visibly floundering around for a proper response to that. "Riiiiight, I knew you were a girl. You're... um, the very image of beauty and ...charm?"
Smellerbee blinked at the water tribe boy, her raspy voice flat as her expression. "So are you, Ponytail."
He snorted in mock affront, taking on his 'manly' tone and wagging his finger at her. "My name is Sokka- though I prefer to be called 'Prince Sokka', if you don't mind."
Katara chuckled as she remembered his crazy act from this morning, and the colonial woman's lips quirked lightly in bemusement as she offered a teasing half bow. "Prince Sokka, hm? I'm honored to be in the presence of the Avatar and her royal brother!"
Sokka preened under the joking praise, but Aang caught the flicker of a shadow darken Katara's pretty blue eyes with the mention of her title. She ran a finger around and around the rim of her half empty teacup, troubled. "Well, I'd rather be called 'Katara' instead of 'Avatar'," She admitted quietly, "I'm just like you guys when it all comes down to it. I live like any other person, and... well, I can die like any other too. Please don't treat me like I'm better than you, ok? I'm just like everyone else in the world."
Sokka stiffened at the mention of 'dying' while still poring over the maps, but Smellerbee scoffed. "No you're not! You're the Avatar! You did your freaky glowing thing earlier and took out the Wild Man; killing you is going to be next to impossible! Why worry about 'dying like any normal person' when you have all that power?"
Katara's heart sank. It was a legitimate question, one born of the naive idea that the Avatar was someone on par with a god or goddess, and thus untouchable and something to revere as otherworldly. She had done her best to fight against the misconception ever since the day she had discovered her identity, and it was something that she really wasn't in the mood to discuss in the face of what had happened this morning. They don't get it. I don't get it either, but I know that I'm more than... well, whatever it is everyone thinks that Avatar is. She stood, brushing bits of imaginary dirt off her skirt and feeling like the conversation was getting too claustrophobic for comfort. "I suppose so... anyway, I need to go and take care of some business. I'll be back soon."
Sokka nodded, propping the map up again. "Ok. Just be sure you don't wander too far off, and make sure-"
"Sokka!"
"I just want you to be safe, ok? Sheesh."
"Well, it's like you guys said," Katara grumbled, already making her way past the tents, "I'm the Avatar. I can take care of myself."
She hurried from the group and made her way deep into the woods, finally stopping underneath a small clearing formed by a ring of five trees. She tilted her face up into the warm sunlight that streamed through the spaces between the branches, doing her best to sort out the jumble that was her mind with some amount of grace.
This Avatar thing was a real pain, when it all came down to it. Not just a mere annoyance, but it brought a lot of actual pain along with it too. She knew that she had made an enormous breakthrough this morning by being proactive, and freeing all those slaves and standing up to injustice when she saw it. However... that didn't mean that all of her confusion over her Avatar identity was gone. What was she, really? Now that she was determined to make a difference in the world before the Comet's arrival, was she going to lose herself, the 'Katara' self, in the process? And the fact that she almost died was something that she had yet to come to grips with... not to mention the whole 'entering into the Avatar State' thing.
She turned when she saw the approaching familiar shimmer of Aang from the corner of her eye, and she hated that she was the cause of the concern that was written across his face. "Hi Katara," He greeted cautiously, "Are... are you ok? You know they didn't mean any harm when they were talking about you as the Avatar, right?"
Katara groaned morosely, flopping onto the ground and throwing an arm over her eyes, not really minding the dried pine needles getting stuck in her braid and hair loopies as she huffed out a long sigh. "No, I'm not ok. I'm never going to get used to this Avatar thing, Aang! It seems that as soon as I show myself as the Avatar, I get treated as differently, like I'm special or something."
He raised a brow, cocking his head to the side as he studied her quizzically. "But you are special, Katara."
She peeped up at him from underneath her arm, giving him an amused half smile at the statement. "Well, I'm glad you think so, but... I'm just a normal kid from the Southern Water Tribe. I mean, I know I'm the Avatar and all, but I can't help but think that I'm still the same person, even if I did something today that I normally couldn't have done." She sat up, shaking her head and picking out the dried needles and flicking them away. "I just feel... I don't know, like something changed because of what I did today, and I can't put a finger on it. Today was the first time I ever did anything really Avatar-like, you know. And the Avatar State..."
Her eyes instinctively sought out his, and Aang could easily see the dark memory of the last time she had entered into the Avatar State reflected in her deeply troubled gaze. He deflated, regretful sorrow over the matter leaking out of him in a long breath. "You know that last time was different. It wasn't your fault-"
She flinched, hugging her knees against her chest. "Don't," She muttered, swallowing the sudden knot that formed in her throat, "Don't tell me that! I was more like a monster then, and I almost killed Dad! I... I can't believe I did it again today! I promised myself that I'd never do that again, and yet..."
Aang stared at her, his heart aching at the miserable expression on his friend's face. He knelt down on his knees, taking her hands in his, gently prompting her to look at him. "Hey, don't be scared of it. The Avatar State is something designed to help you when you get into trouble, but until you master it, it can be uncontrollable." He rocked back on his heels, a small, far off smile forming as he thought of something. "You know... I've never really had the chance to explain the Avatar State to you before. I know we don't have the time right this second, but let's try to meet up later tonight when everyone's settled in better and in bed. I have some things to show you."
She reluctantly met his gaze, her expression hesitant but a little clearer as curiosity started to dispel her distress. "Well... as long as we don't do the dream thing again."
Aang blushed, and he uttered a fake cough as he looked away, remembering the recent shock of entering one particular dream and seeing her kissing some imaginary dream guy. It made him feel all kinds of strange emotions, and he hadn't tried to enter her dreams since then. "Yeah... let's not. Your dreams are starting to get a little weird."
She huffed, lightly smacking his arm with an embarrassed laugh. "Hey, it's not my fault you entered a dream you weren't supposed to see! I can't control what I dream anyway, so you can't say anything."
He grinned, and held out a hand to help her up. "Come on, then. Let's get back and settle everyone in. After that, try to meditate. I'll meet you on the other side, where we can talk about this in private."
Settling everyone in turned out to be easier said than done, but at long last nightfall set in with it's cooler temperatures, and the stars began to peep out one by one as the fiery colors of the setting sun faded and gave way to dusk. When Katara had come back into camp earlier, she had to gracefully wave off all the apologies that came bubbling forth the instant they caught sight of her, and she herself apologized for rushing out on them the way she did. "I needed to get away for a moment, but it was rude of me to do it when you guys were just asking questions," She had admitted, "But I think what I really need to do is go and meditate on what's bugging me. I have some Avatar-ish things that I need to sort out on my own."
Sokka had been skeptical (meditation had never been something Katara had seriously tried to do before), but she was insistent. "I need to do this. I'll try my best to be along before bed, but if I don't come out of it before bedtime, don't wait up for me. I have a lot of things to talk about with Aang."
Suki (who had long since reappeared out of her tent) nodded, laying a hand on Sokka's arm to stall him from protesting. "We understand, but I'll stay up with Sokka and keep watch. Meditation is something that we do as Kyoshi Warriors, and sometimes if you are in the right place at the right time you can accidentally cross over into the Spirit World. I haven't done it myself," She added hastily, "But I think Sokka and I need to talk over some things too while we're waiting up for you." Her eyes darted to Sokka and back to her feet, her face heating up under the face paint. "We have some things to sort out too."
Their new friends all shifted about nervously. "What about us?" Smellerbee asked at last, "Should we just go to bed, then?"
Katara glanced up at the darkening sky. "Well, we've all had a busy day, and you guys helped out a lot with setting up the camp and dinner. If you're tired, go ahead and get some rest. We'll talk about where we're going in the morning."
Longshot offered a single nod, touching the brim of his new hat respectfully before heading into Sokka's now converted 'men only man tent'. The colonial woman offered a half bow, murmuring her goodnight before directing Smellerbee to come with her into the tent that Suki had decided to lend them for the time being. "Come along, dear. We should set up our bedding and get some sleep. We have a long journey ahead of us, and I tend to get up with the sun. It's best we go to bed earlier than later..."
Pleased, Katara nodded before maing her way over to Appa's side, settling against the soft warmth and allowing her eyes to close as she crossed her arms and legs and let out a steadying breath. However, the soft sounds of Sokka and Suki murmuring in low tones (and the chittering of Momo as he tried to nudge Katara's hand in order to weasel a treat from her) were beginning to interfere with the peaceful state she was trying to reach.
Come on Katara, She scolded herself, nudging Momo away as gently as possible, This is important. I have to try to talk to Aang in private about this. Ignore them.
With her new motivation in mind, she breathed out a long, stabilizing breath and tried again, this time just allowing her mind to wander and grow quieter as it did. It felt like a long time, and when she finally felt the familiar weight of Aang's hand touch her shoulder, she sighed, thinking it hadn't worked just like the other attempts. However, when she opened her eyes, she drew in a sharp breath, alarmed to find herself surrounded by... nothing. Just a vast, star filled, purple-ish void that seemed to behave rather a lot like water, though it felt like she was breathing air. She glanced down at herself as her skirt and braid moved and shifted with the currents of... whatever this was (energy, perhaps?), noticing with growing wonderment that she too was purple. Looking up, she noted that Aang's glowing form remained as it always had, still bluish with hints of what his true coloring was underneath. She glanced about, marveling at their surroundings. "Aang? Where are we? What is this place?" She waved a hand at their surrounding, the motion making a watery swishing sound.
His easy grin lit up his face, but it was nothing compared to the pride that lit up his eyes. "Well, you've done two things that you've never done before today! You're finally meditating properly."
"Really?" Katara looked down, a little frightened at the sight of nothing solid what-so-ever beneath her feet, though it quickly faded as she realized that she had no way of falling, since she was hanging in suspension. "Is this the Spirit World?"
Aang shook his head. "No. We're on a different plane of existence than everything else. I guess you could say that you're still in your own mind, but I don't think it's the same." He tilted his head, scratching at his head as he puzzled it out. "I think I remember Yangchen telling me that this place is an extension of your mind, the part that is your spirit instead of your soul."
Katara blinked at him, not comprehending. "Aren't my spirit and soul the same thing?"
"No. Along with your body, you have three parts that make up 'you'. Your soul has no form, and it's really just an extension of your spirit. It's the part that makes up your thoughts and emotions, while your body holds everything together. Your spirit is the real you, ya know, even if it's all connected to your body and soul."
Katara looked at her glowing, purplish hands in awe. "Wow... so this place is part of my spirit? How does that work?"
Aang looked around, just as curious. "Well, this part is the part that's connected to the universe. You're within the cosmic energies right now, so that's why everything is kinda purple looking and it feels like water. I've never been here when I tried to meditate before I died, so this is all new to me too. I've only been told about it after I died, when I took Spirit World trips to learn more about the Avatar Spirit."
At the mention of the Avatar Spirit, Katara's wonderment faded, and she leveled a troubled look at her friend. "About that... what happened today? The Avatar State felt... well, different, this time. The last time..."
Aang, his eyes dimming, grasped her hands and prompted her to look at him, repeating what he had said earlier in the forest. "Hey, it's ok. Don't be afraid of yourself. This is all a part of you, remember? As the Avatar, you have to learn how the Avatar State works, even if you don't master it right now. It will help you on your path to being a better Avatar."
Katara felt shame welling up within her, and it was difficult meeting his compassionate gaze. "But... I should never have needed the Avatar State to save me, though! I'm supposed to be a great hero of legend! Isn't that a sign of weakness, to need something or someone saving me? I'm trying so hard to be a good Avatar, and I feel like I can't seem to do it without you or something else helping me along."
"Why do you think that needing help now and then makes you a bad Avatar?" Aang wondered, "You just helped a whole bunch of people today, with no thought of boosting your own ego in the process. That's exactly what the Avatar is supposed to do: right wrongs, and bring balance where there's chaos. I'd say that you just started on the right path."
The steady conviction of his words, as well as the untainted pride that added a note of warmth in his tone and eyes, made Katara pause and mull it over. Maybe she was focusing on her fear of failure too much, to where it clouded the thing that she had only recently realized that she should focus on: helping people and being a light in a dark world. She met his gaze with a small smile. "So... it's not a bad thing that I went into the Avatar State today?"
His jovial expression fell just a little, though he tried to keep it light for her sake. "No, it's not a bad thing. You scared me nearly to death, but thankfully I'm already dead and you had the Avatar Spirit awakened in you just in time. It's a defensive mechanism, according to Roku, designed to fill you up with all the power and energy of all your past lives- including me, though I don't have much to offer." He grinned at the self deprecating joke before continuing. "The Avatar Spirit itself is the one who controls what's happening, though- it's why your eyes glow. She's looking out through your eyes, and is helping you get out of a life threatening situation by giving you a boost of her power. And since her power is connected to each person she had ever bonded herself with... well, that's why you can bend in ways that you haven't learned how to do yet."
It was a lot to absorb, and Katara drew back just a little, trying to take it all in. It was all starting to make sense now- the strange rush of power that seemed to flow out in a trembling rush from deep inside her, the strange disconnect that seemed to happen while in the middle of it all- it was all because of the Avatar Spirit itself. "So that's why I was so wobbly afterward. I had the power of thousands of lives rushing though me!"
"Sort of," Aang clarified, "It's all Raava herself. She's the real power boost. The past lives are just along for the ride, ready to offer our help if it's needed. Raava makes all the split second decisions of what should be done to help save you, and she has access to all of the memories and abilities that we carried when we were alive."
Huh. The Avatar Spirit was an actual spirit? "Raava," Katara repeated, testing the name and finding it intriguing. "Raava is the Avatar Spirit? It's a girl?"
The bright purplish tinge to their surroundings was starting to fade, and Aang grasped her hands again. "I don't have time to tell it all to you- there's just too much to tell you right now. But really quick, you need to know that you did nothing wrong today. You did so good, and I'm so happy that you're starting to become the Avatar I always knew you would. I was wrong to try to help you to the point where you were afraid to do things for yourself. I tried really hard to help you in a different way today, and not fly to your rescue like I wanted to. I'm just sorry that I got so caught up in freeing the slaves that I didn't see you in actual trouble until that guy came up out of the water without you." He peeped up at her meekly, looking so much like a young child in that moment. "Are you mad at me for not coming in time?"
Katara smiled, pulling him close and hugging him. "Oh Aang, I'm not mad at you! You help me so much, and I'm so glad I have you here with me." She pulled back, grabbing his shoulders and meeting his eyes. "By working with me and not for me, you're helping me a lot more than you think."
"So... we're all good?"
She grinned. "I think we're more than good. I think we're starting to be more than friends- we're a team now, and I wouldn't want to go on this journey without you."
A/N: All the spiritual stuff found here is tied to what is found in 'The Avatar State' and 'Begginings: Part 1', including information on Raava as the actual Avatar Spirit. All of this information is important in order to understand how Aang can be around in the story the way he has been, and how he can eventually be able to have a second chance at life at all. It's also important for Katara's character growth- from this point onward, she's going to be much more confidant about herself and her identity, and she's going to become much closer to the canon Katara we all know and love.
With Raava, I'm kind of picking and choosing what about her situation with Vaatu can be considered canon. So much of what we learned in Korra's second season clashes with what was established in the original series. I don't think that it should be a once every ten thousand year battle to determine the fate of the world and to determine who gains supremacy. Here in this AU, I'm probably going to have Vaatu be stuck inside the tree of time just as Avatar Wan had done in canon, but have his influence still be felt in the physical world. Balance between good and evil is a never ending war, and the Avatar is going to have to work tirelessly in pushing back the tides of injustice, wickedness and chaos even without Vaatu actually being present in the physical world.
So to recap, there will be no harmonic convergence blah blah to deal with in this reality. It just is not necessary and it was a massive waste of story that flies in the face of already established canonical information (kind of like Kya and Bumi's birth order, but whatever...)
Smellerbee's original name is a Malay name, because let's face it- the Earth Kingdom is vast, and it isn't just filled with Chinese influences. There are Korean, Japanese, and some others mish mashed in there in canon. Why not have the coastal areas that are closest to the Fire Nation be more tropical, with a Southeast Asian influence to it?
Speaking of that, Smellerbee's kris dagger is a wavy bladed dagger that is very significant to Indonesia and the surrounding areas, and the dagger is the exact same as her canon one. One way or another, she was going to get that dagger, darn it!
The colonial lady should be someone you can figure out... if not, then read on, heh heh!
Keep the chi blocking manual from the last chapter in mind. The concept of chi blocking will come up again pretty soon.
Up next, a break from the drama as everyone wanders into a certain fortuneteller's village!