Prentiss
We were called to a case on Monday morning, just two hours into our desk work after the weekend and the baby shower. It was Wednesday afternoon now and my day had been particularly tiresome and moody so far. I was having extreme swings in my mood, happy on minute, angry the next, sad and then frustrated, happy again. It was throwing the whole team off, not just me.
"Not easy having a pregnant woman here, huh?" I asked Hotch, Rossi and Reid with a smirk. They all looked afraid to answer that. I laughed to myself, "Don't worry, I know it's difficult on everyone. I'm sorry."
"It's pregnancy." Rossi shrugged his shoulders. I smiled at him appreciatively for his understanding.
I stood and walked to the board as Morgan and JJ walked in. Morgan was holding his phone in front of him and I heard Garcia typing over the speaker. "She hasn't been able to find anything on it." JJ said as they sat down.
"Alright, so let's throw some ideas out there." Rossi said, sitting forwards.
"He's a sociopath with a bad past, so he doesn't feel remorse over what he does." JJ said.
"Right, so he probably wouldn't revisit sites or anything." Morgan added to her statement.
"Maybe he's doing it for the emotion," I said quietly, "Maybe he abducts them and makes them feel different emotions so that he can mimic them or something. Sociopaths don't feel emotion like we do, right?"
"But they are aware of that fact." Reid confirmed, nodding.
"So maybe he's curious as to what it's like and—oh my god! Stop kicking me!" I stressed as I looked down at my baby bump. I looked back up at my team as amused smiles spread on their faces and they held their laughs back, "Sorry…maybe he's curious as to what it's like and wants to try and experience it the way someone who isn't a sociopath does." I started again.
They nodded and the ideas kept getting thrown around for a while. I sat down and stared at the board as we did, speaking when I had something worth saying. Eventually, we decided to take a break from this. Reid stood and walked to the front of the board, leaning on the table beside me and crossing his arms. His lips moved quickly as he read and spoke to himself quietly. JJ and Morgan went to get coffee from the break room in the Denver police station.
"So how are you feeling?" Hotch asked me once silence had fallen momentarily.
I looked at him, "Exhausted."
"Would you like to go to the hotel and get some sleep or go home?"
"No," I shook my head, "Thank you though."
He motioned to the couch against the wall behind him, "You can go to sleep here if you want."
I smiled, "I'm not exhausted in terms of sleep; I'm exhausted in terms of this pregnancy draining me."
"I don't know how to help you with that, sorry." He shook his head.
I smiled, "Yeah, me neither."
"My guess is coffee would help," Rossi said, "If only those two would hurry up with it."
"They've been there a while." Reid said quietly, not even glancing away from the board. I used the table subtly to assist me in standing up and Reid looked at me, "Where are you going?"
"To find them." I said as I turned and walked out of the room we were stationed in. I walked through the station towards the break room and saw them sitting at the table in there, talking about something. I stood beside the door against the wall so they didn't know I was there and listened in.
"Morgan, Emily is one of those women who try to rely on their independence and try to be happy on their own but they always end up happier when with someone they love." JJ said to him. They were talking about me.
"Yes, but you have no idea whether she loves me or not. She went on a date a few weeks ago. Maybe she's interested in someone else."
"Has she gone on a second date with this guy?"
"I don't think so. Reid doesn't think so."
"Has she seen anyone else?"
"Not that I know of."
"She's open." I could hear the smirk in JJ voice.
"And how bad would it be if she didn't love me?"
"Morgan, come on. I've seen the way she looks at you, we all have. How have you not noticed it?"
"Noticed what?"
"She loves you. Now the question is, do you love her?" There was silence for a few seconds, "Honestly, do you?"
"Yeah," I heard him say quietly, "More than I ever thought possible."
"Why do you love her? Give me a list of things you love about her."
He sighed, "She's beautiful and intelligent, she has an amazing sense of humour that covers so many different areas, she has the most amazing smile, she's one of the kindest people I've met that can still kick arse, she's tough and she doesn't run away from difficult things…most of the time. The times we slept together were exceptions…" The both laughed, "Just her presence puts the biggest smile on my face, she's an amazing mother, her smile just lights up everything in any situation. Her eyes are the most beautiful, extravagant brown I've ever seen. They're so dark that they're almost black but they're stunning. Brown eyes always seem so plain and just…brown...until you fall in love with something with eyes that colour. Then they're the most beautiful things in the world. Brown is no longer boring to me; it's a whole new level of beautiful."
"Morgan, you give her that list and you win her over." JJ was still smiling. I let out the breath that I had unintentionally held in. I walked away from the break room quickly and went to the bathroom.
I stood in front of the mirror and stared at myself. What was he even talking about? I turned the water on and spread some up my arms to cool me down. I thought back to what I just heard and I found myself remembering seeing Hotch, Rossi and Reid looked at me with confused and suspicious looks as I moved quickly from the wall and towards the bathroom. They were watching me stand there and listen. I took a deep breath and looked in the mirror again. I shook my head and snickered to myself and how ridiculous this was. Was I just imagining them having that whole conversation? A part of me wanted that to be true, for it to be an imaginary conversation, but a much bigger part of me hoped that the conversation really happened.
I walked out of the bathroom and jumped slightly at the three men standing outside, "Jesus Christ, what are you doing?" I asked them.
Rossi and Reid glanced at each other as Hotch spoke, "What just happened there?"
"What?"
"Well we didn't want to ask Morgan or JJ in case you weren't supposed to be listening to them…but you looked so upset or disappointed when you hurried away to hide out here." Rossi said.
I sighed, "So I didn't just imagine you three standing across the room watching me?"
"No," Reid shook his head with a confused look, "Why would you imagine that?"
"I think I'm going insane." I said quietly as I walked passed them. They walked a step behind me as I made my way back to the main room of the station and Morgan and JJ appeared in front of me. I jumped, "My god."
"Hey…" JJ looked confused.
"Hey." I said quickly before moving passed the two of them quickly. I went to the smaller room we were situated in and sat down, opening the file in front of the seat I was previously in and pretended to be interested and thinking when they walked in.
"Okay, that was weird." JJ said to me.
"Hm?" I looked up from the paper, pretending not to hear her. I picked my phone up and texted "SOS" to Sarah while still keeping my eyes off the phone as much as I could.
"You were just startled by Morgan and I and then you were way too quick to get away from us for it to be normal…"
My phone rang and flashed with Sarah's number, "Uh…hold that thought. Sorry, I have to take this," I stood as I accepted the call, "Thank you." I said to Sarah as I walked out of the room. I said it too early, they might have heard me.
"What's going on? Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I just needed to get out of a really awkward conversation."
"Oh, Jesus Christ, Emily. You couldn't have said "get me out of this conversation" or "call to save me" instead of "SOS"? I was freaking out over here."
"Sorry, there wasn't time for details."
"So what's going on? Who was the awkward conversation with?"
"…The team…"
"What happened? I'm so confused."
"Well Morgan—"
"Oh no…it involved Morgan?"
"Well you'd know if you didn't cut me off."
"Sorry, continue."
"Uh…I can't. Hotch is coming," I said quieter, "Okay, I'll book an appointment soon when I'm back in town. Thanks for the call." I pretended to be talking to a doctor.
"No problem." Sarah laughed. I hung up and looked up as Hotch reached me.
"What's going on?"
"Oh, the doctor just wants to do a check-up. It's not serious or anything, she just wants to make sure it's all going okay. Considering my age, I don't blame her."
"Yeah, you're not that old…"
"I'm just guessing that that's the reason." I shrugged my shoulders. He was very clearly suspicious but he decided against questioning me anymore. He nodded and we walked back to the team.
"Who was that?" JJ asked.
"Doctor." I said casually, sitting back down.
"Is everything okay?" Morgan asked.
"Yeah, she just wants to do an easy check-up to make sure it's all going smoothly." I nodded. I spoke too quickly, feeling slightly uncomfortable speaking to him at the moment. "So, let's look at all this again." I turned to the board, trying to get them to now focus on the work and not me.
"So what was the awkward conversation?" Sarah asked me quietly in the kitchen. We were in the kitchen and the team was only across the room around the dining table.
"I'll tell you later but don't bring it up in front of anyone; not even Reid."
"What are we whispering about?" Reid asked quietly from behind Sarah. She jumped slightly, unaware that he was behind her, but she calmed as he slid his arm around her waist.
"Nothing. We're whispering about nothing." I said quickly and lifted the appetisers we had prepared and took them to the dining table. I realised that I hadn't whispered that and now the whole team was looking at me with suspicion.
"Smooth." Sarah said with a smirk as she passed me and sat down at the table.
"What is going on with you lately?" Rossi asked me.
"…mummy…" I faked in Ainsley's voice. It sounded nothing like her anyway, "Oh, Ainsley needs me." I walked out quickly before they could speak again. I entered the living room and saw Ainsley watching a movie quietly with Henry and Jack. All three of them looked extremely tired and about ready to go to sleep. I smiled to myself and kissed my daughters hair as I walked through.
I made my way down the hall and into the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror to calm myself, "Stop acting like this. They don't know you heard them; just pretend you didn't hear anything." I spoke to myself quietly.
"What are you doing?" Garcia asked from the doorway behind me. I looked at her through the mirror and looked down. She walked in and closed the door behind her, "Seriously, tell me what's going on because I was just told that you've been weird all week."
"Not all week," I shook my head, "Just since Wednesday."
"Well what happened on Wednesday that has left you so awkward and quiet with the whole team."
"It's a long story, but I—" I stopped when a knock on the interrupted. Garcia opened it and Sarah walked in.
"Nice setting. What's going on?"
"Something happened on Wednesday that made her act weird and awkward," Garcia explained, "Tell us."
"On Wednesday, we took a break from brainstorming ideas on the case and Morgan and JJ went to get coffee for everyone. They were in the break room for a really long time and I really needed coffee so I went to see what was going on and they were sitting down in there. I stood hiding beside the door and I listened to them. They were talking about me. JJ was asking him questions and telling him that I loved him and then he admitted that he loved me to her. Morgan told JJ that he loved me. And then she asked him to tell her a list of why he loved me and he gave a really long one and I walked away because it was emotional and scary and I have no idea what to do. Rossi, Hotch and Reid saw me listening to them and they saw me walk away looking upset and disappointed."
"Why were you upset and disappointed?" Sarah asked.
"I wasn't, I just apparently looked it. I was surprised and scared of what that was going to do to me. So I've been trying to avoid the both of them in case I slip up and say I heard them and I'm trying to distance myself from him so he doesn't have the chance to tell me any of that."
"Emily, you do love him, don't you?"
"I don't know."
"You know, you just need to think about it for a few seconds and you'll have an answer." Garcia said.
I looked down and thought about Friday night after the baby shower where I thought about it and discovered that I did, followed by a night of tears. I had no idea what I was doing in my life right now. I was just winging everything.
I looked up at them and Sarah raised her eyebrows, "So? You do or you don't?"
I bit my lip and they both knew it was a yes. They both looked elated at the news and they were jumping up and down in joy, squealing like little girls in middle school.
"Shh," I hissed at them and grabbed their arms to stop their jumping, "They'll hear you."
"Okay, so if you love him, why don't you tell him or let him tell you?" Garcia asked.
"Because I don't want to," I shook my head, "I…I don't want to ruin what we have now." Right now, we sat at something more than a friendship; it was more like a bond that Ainsley and the unborn baby had tied us in. He meant a lot to me, but I didn't want it to get too far. I didn't want to break his heart, I didn't want him to break mine and I didn't want to break Ainsley's. I didn't want to risk it just to find that it won't work out how we'd hoped and we were left like those parents who take their child one week and then the other takes her the next and we talk strictly about her and nothing else. I would have to leave the BAU again if that happened.
"I think you need to take the chance." Sarah said.
"I think I need some time to think about what I'm doing with my life right now." I said quietly.
"Okay, someone is going to come looking for us soon and it'll be weird to find us all in the bathroom together. Let's go back." Garcia said.
"Play it cool please? Don't give anything away and don't say a word about it to anyone."
We walked back to the dining room and sat down with the silent team. Garcia was smirking at Morgan. "What?" He asked her. She moved her eyes and smirked at JJ.
"Garcia, that's not playing it cool." Sarah said to her quietly across the table. I groaned and dropped my head into my arms.
"Remind me never to tell the two of you anything ever again."
"Uh…Em?" JJ asked quietly.
"Hm?" I hummed and looked at her, my elbow on the table and my head resting in my hand. The table was still completely silent.
"Did you happen to overhear something in the break room during the case?" She asked me hesitantly, glancing at Morgan.
I made myself look confused as I shook my head, "No?" I think it played it rather well.
"Are you sure?" Morgan asked.
"Was I supposed to overhear something?" I asked them.
"No," They both said in unison, "We just thought you might have heard a thing or two." JJ added.
"Well I don't think I did." I shook my head. Sarah and Garcia kept their smirks back as they looked at me.
Garcia started a conversation and I looked at Hotch at my side. He was looking at me with narrowed eyes and a suspicious look. He, Rossi and Reid knew I had heard it. The only people here that didn't know I heard it was Morgan, JJ and Will. I bit my lip and shook my head as if to tell him not to mention it. When I glanced at Rossi, he was looking too, appearing just as suspicious. Reid was too, although he was quickly distracted by Sarah.