Prentiss
Our baby was born happy and healthy after just 7 hours of labour. She was born at 10:04 on September 6th at 7 pounds 2 ounces. I was instructed to breastfeed within the first hour after delivery and I did as the midwife told me, despite having done this before. It felt different, maybe because Morgan was with me at every stop.
"Married?" A second midwife asked us as she came in to check if we needed any help with anything.
"No, just friends who made a mistake…" I said quietly. The midwives checked on me and her before giving the three of us some time alone. I was beyond exhausted and Morgan knew that.
"You can go to sleep." He whispered, brushing my hair behind my ear. He had tied it up for me during the birth and the parts around my ears were falling out.
"Not yet," I shook my head, "I want to be awake when Ainsley sees her and the team meets her."
"We can delay all of that until you're rested." He assured.
"No," I shook my head again, "I'll be okay. Did you call your mother?"
"Yeah, she's coming down in a few days. She's giving us a while to settle and get out of the hospital first. My family doesn't really like hospitals."
"I know how they feel," I said quietly, looking down at my daughter, "So, thought of a name?"
"I chose her middle name."
"We agreed on her middle name, and you still get a say in her first name."
"Well nothing goes with Penelope." He said quietly as we looked at her. We sat and thought about names for a while.
"Priya?" I looked at him.
His eyes met mine, "That's not bad. Priya Penelope."
"Morgan," I completed, "Priya Penelope Morgan."
He smiled, "I like it."
I smiled wide and looked down at her, "Priya. She looks like Ainsley did when she was a newborn. My features, your eyes." I watched as her eyes drooped slightly. She was getting very tired. I looked at Morgan, "Bring Ainsley in?"
He grinned and nodded, standing and walking out. I assumed he'd be going to the waiting room to get her. Would he tell them all her name there or would he wait? I guess I didn't really mind but I would prefer to see their reactions, whether they liked it or not.
Morgan's phone buzzed at my side and I lifted it up, careful not to shift Priya as I did. It was a message from JJ so I lifted his phone more and unlocked it. I went into their messages and saw a photo of me holding Priya, just after delivery. He had taken a photo and sent it to her. I had a small smile on my face and I didn't look as horrible as a lot of women do after childbirth. I went out of those messages and saw that he sent it to all members of the team, Sarah, his mother and his sisters.
I shook my head and put the phone back where it was originally. He walked in not long after with Ainsley holding his hand. "Mummy!" She said excitedly.
"Hey baby." I smiled at her as she ran up to me. She stood on her toes at the side of the hospital bed and looked at her little sister with curiosity in her eyes, her lips forming a small 'O'. I smiled at Morgan and he lifted her onto the bed but was sure to make sure it wouldn't bother me or the baby.
"Do you want to hold her?" I asked Ainsley quietly. She looked at me with fear in her eyes. "It's okay, honey." I nodded. She nodded and sat cross legged, facing me. I moved slowly and Morgan held her arms how they should go and I lay Priya in them. "Keep two hands under her and be very careful, okay?" I kept one hand near her head in case Ainsley dropped her.
I looked at Morgan briefly, "You photographed me."
He smiled, "You looked through my phone?"
"JJ texted you so I checked it. I looked disgusting."
"No, you look like you just went 7 hours of exhaustion while pushing a human being out of body. You'll appreciate the photo later." He winked. I shook my head with a small smile and looked at my daughters again.
"What's her name?" Ainsley asked me.
"Priya Penelope Morgan."
The team had decided not to come in yet. They left Priya and I both to sleep and I woke once after three hours to feed her again before being left to sleep again. I woke up in the early evening and Morgan was still at my side, a coffee in one hand and his phone in his other. Priya was still asleep and he looked up when he heard my breathing shift slightly and I dropped my head to the side to look at him, "You didn't have to stay."
"Of course I stayed. I'm staying until you're out of here and then I'm crashing on your couch until I'm sure everything is completely okay."
I smiled at him, "Thank you."
He took a breath and set his phone and coffee down, "Emily—"
"No," I cut him off, "Don't."
"You haven't given me five minutes to talk to you in the last four months. I know you heard JJ and I in the break room in Colorado and I know you hid your knowledge for a while before Garcia slipped, so in case you've forgotten, I admitted, not only to JJ but to myself to, that I love you." I closed my eyes as he continued. His words were heartfelt and intimate. He spoke softly and slowly and he stopped frequently in case I wanted to say something.
After what seemed like a long time, he stopped too soon. I wanted him to keep speaking, to keep telling me all the things that made him fall in love with me and the things he loved about me now. The things that he fell in love with again and again each day, the things that he had noticed since he fell in love. This is what I had wanted to hear 10 months ago, and now that I was, it was a whole new level of desired.
"Derek, sometimes love isn't enough," I whispered, "I mean, I do, I love you, but it isn't that easy. We can't just take a chance and hope for the best. We can't just fuck around and see where it takes us. We have our jobs and our team to consider, let alone the rules of the job, and I have two children."
"I have two children as well." He tilted his head to the side.
"But do you really think that you're ready to be a full time father? You have to sacrifice almost everything, Derek. Your time alone when it's quiet, nights out with friends, dinners or parties, occasions with the team, weddings, the list goes on, but the biggest thing you need to give them is your heart; all of it, unconditional love. It's hard, I'm not going to lie to you or downplay it in the hopes that you'll still want it, but it is so damn hard. You don't sleep; you don't have time to eat or shower or even to sit down for a few minutes. You're exhausted all the time and the house is always a complete mess because you don't have time to clean it and when the child grows up a bit and you do, it just gets trashed again within the next 5 minutes. You run low on money because it all goes to the child."
"Emily, did you ever think that it was that bad because you were alone? With the two of us getting paid and not blowing the money on alcohol, drugs and gambling, we wouldn't run as low as you did the first time around. You'd get more time alone if I looked over the baby for a while, you'll have time to sleep, even just for a little while and you'll have time to eat and shower and sit down. There would be two of us capable of cleaning, one to take the baby, one to clean. The sacrifices are ones that I am definitely willing to make and I've got nowhere else to put my love except for the team, you, Ainsley and Priya," He brushed his fingers over my cheek to wipe the tears on them, "Em, you're looking at all of this like you're alone. You were alone with Ainsley but not this time around. You have me; you have Sarah and Reid, JJ and Will, Hotch, Garcia and Rossi. We're all here to assist you in anything you need."
I lifted my hand and took his, pulling it away from my face and resting it on the side of the bed, my fingers playing with his mindlessly, "I don't want you to give up your life if you have other things you need to accomplish first. Everything changes, Morgan."
"I have a career. The only other things I wanted in my life were kids, to which I have now, and love."
"Love isn't just a feeling, Morgan. It's a choice, too. You can love two people and choose one while you still love the other. Are you sure that there isn't someone else out there that you want more than you want me?"
"It isn't possible for me to want anyone else more." He said quietly, leaning forwards. His lips were just inches from mine and they moved closer.
"Wait." I put my finger over his lips, just centimetres from mine now. He let out a small aggravated sigh and looked to the side, moving away from me again. I caught him before he got far and turned him back to look at me, his lips dangerously close to mine. "Are you sure you want this? Because once you place that kiss on my lips, that's it; you can't change your mind." My lips brushed on his as I spoke.
I'll admit that I was being slightly selfish. Although I looked horrible, my hair a mess and my face fresh of makeup, I was trying to make it harder for him to resist. I wanted him to kiss me and not have the chance to leave. I wanted him to want me forever. I wanted him to choose me and love me more than anyone else, apart from our daughters obviously. I wanted him.
He replied by pressing his lips to mine gently and I felt my whole body relax. I was just going to leave it at that, accept that as his answer and stop where we were for now, but something inside of me couldn't stop. I returned his kiss and it continued for a few minutes, although it stayed controlled.
We stopped as I heard the midwife clear her throat awkwardly and my lips left his, my head falling to his shoulder opposite the midwife for a second, catching my breath and waiting for the red flush of embarrassment disappear from my cheeks. He laughed to himself quietly, "What a time for the team to come in." He said quietly.
"What?" I flicked my head up quickly and looked forwards. The seven people standing by the wall were all smiling. Ainsley walked up to Morgan's side and he lifted her up. JJ had her hands, palms together, in front of her mouth and tears in her eyes. Garcia and Sarah both had surprised, open-mouthed grins.
I looked down and closed my eyes, clearing my throat. It felt awkward, having them all see that.
"Wow…" Garcia spoke first, "What a show."
"My god, you gave birth this morning and you still look like you. Like, beautiful and not dying. I hate you for that." JJ said.
"You still looked beautiful and alive." Will said.
"To you because you love me. Not to anyone else."
I listened to them talk and Reid compliment JJ as the midwife passed me a waking Priya and moved my shirt for me. She latched on well, no problems at all. When she woke enough, she found the food source I supplied almost instantly and I looked back up. JJ, Garcia and Sarah were smiling at me. Hotch and Rossi were both looking down, Will was looking at JJ and Reid was looking up and around to avoid looking at me.
Morgan laughed, "You can't actually see her boob, guys. The kid is pretty latched on there." They looked back after the confirmation.
"What's she doing?" Ainsley asked me, sitting in Morgan's lap on her knees and leaning on the railing on the bed, watching over her sister lovingly.
"She's eating." I said to her.
"She's yours too?" The midwife asked me. I smiled at her and nodded, "I thought that, she does look very similar to the two of you." She motioned to Morgan and I, "How old?"
I didn't mind her curiosity. Ainsley knew she was interested in her and that put a smile on her face, receiving attention, and the midwife was nice enough. "She turned 5 in July."
She nodded with a smile and looked at the others, "Do any of you have children?"
"We have a son," JJ motioned to Will and herself, "And he has a son." She motioned to Hotch.
The midwife nodded politely before looking back at me, "Have we decided on a name?"
I hesitated and looked at Morgan, "Have we?"
"Well do you like the one we talked about?" He asked. A small smile spread on my face and that was enough to answer him, "Then yes, we have decided on a name."
"Okay, well you can tell them."
"Why me?"
"Because I told them Ainsley's name."
"No, Ainsley told them Ainsley's name."
"Oh look, I'm busy." I looked down at my daughter as she drank from my breast.
"Can one of you just tell us, please?" Garcia asked impatiently.
Morgan glanced at me one more time before his eyes moved to our daughter and then to our team, "Priya Penelope."
"Morgan." I completed, rolling my eyes. He wouldn't say the last name because he didn't know if I had changed my mind or not despite the multiple times I assured him that it was Morgan.
"Sorry…Priya Penelope Morgan." He said it with his name this time. I smiled and nodded when he looked at me.