The size of Dimitri's bed meant when I woke up I was able to spread out properly for the first time in forever. Well - for the first time since I'd slept beside Dimitri at Missoula; although then I'd only wanted to stretch out towards him. Here in his bed, I could still smell him; his aftershave and his body scent were on the sheets and pillow, giving me the most peaceful, dreamless sleep I'd had since he'd left. The larger bed and the comfort of his smell weren't the only things that had made last night so relaxing. Like all Guardian rooms, Dimitri's had its own bathroom. While I knew the overnight toilet trips were going to get more frequent the further I progressed into my pregnancy, last night it had been delightful to wander nude from the bed to the bathroom and back again without having to get dressed.
I'd been sobbing when I'd come in last night, but just being surrounded by his things had helped. I'd stripped down and climbed into his bed, the cotton of his flannelette sheets soft again my skin. When I woke, it was early, and I was almost smiling. I felt refreshed, and it had been a long time since I'd woken up feeling that way. I'd needed Dimitri's comfort last night, and even gone he'd managed to calm me. I looked around his room. In some ways, I knew my Russian God so well, but in others, he was still a mystery to me. So knowing he was gone, and I'd be packing everything up soon enough, I flipped through his books. I didn't want to snoop, but I'd never understood his obsession with Westerns. But then I'd never read one.
I grabbed the most dog-eared tome from the box of things to return to Baia, curling back into the comfort of his bed and snuggling under the beautiful handmade quilt. Arranging his pillows against me, I could almost believe he was here beside me sleeping while I read. For the first twenty pages I was laughing to myself, but after that, I started to get into it. Westerns wouldn't be my first choice of reading material, but I could admit this one was diverting. As I read, I was getting sleepy. I must have drifted off because I woke sometime mid-morning Vampire time to see a worried Alberta and Stan standing beside the bed.
"Oh thank God!" she said, sitting beside me and stroking my forehead and hair. "We were knocking, and you didn't answer!"
"Sorry," I muttered blinking my eyes open properly, relieved that while my shoulders were bare, the covers were hiding everything else. "I just haven't been sleeping so well recently, but it's so restful here… I must have fallen asleep again."
Stan had his eyes averted.
"I'll leave since everything's ok," he muttered awkwardly.
I looked at Alberta after he went.
"Guardian Alto heard me banging on the door and came in with me in case you were in trouble."
"I'm ok. Thanks for letting me sleep here, Alberta. It helped me feel close to him," I said with a sad little smile. "I'm trying to say goodbye, I am. But it's hard when I don't want to."
"Maybe it would help if we organized the memorial for him?" she suggested, her hand still smoothing my hair. "We can do it however you want."
I nodded. I didn't want a memorial at all. I wanted Dimitri to be here with Junior and me, but Alberta was right. It had been two weeks since the public announcement had been made. It was time.
"Can we do it after my birthday? I want to get through that first."
"Of course. I'll talk with Father Andrews. Maybe just a simple service and then we could do tea and sandwiches afterward?"
"With lots of egg and lettuce ones. They were his favorite," I stipulated.
"Were they?" Alberta chuckled. "What an odd thing to notice."
I shrugged.
"I loved him, Alberta. I noticed everything."
"Pregnant? What do you mean pregnant?" Mama asked first.
"As in having a baby! That's what the term usually means," I snapped rudely, running my fingers through my still damp hair in agitation.
"Wow. Your girlfriend cheated on you while you were away. That sucks," Viktoria said. "She seemed so nice; I didn't think she would be like that."
"She's not like that!" I bellowed furiously. "She states the baby is mine and I believe her. She said she rang here and left a message on the machine telling you about it. Why didn't anyone tell me?" I was beyond furious that my family could keep something so huge from me. It should have been the first thing they said to me when I walked through the door.
"Dimka, I never heard any message like that," Karolina said, trying to calm me.
"Neither did I," Mama added.
"I would have been at school," Viktoria quickly interjected, not wanting to be on the receiving end of my fury.
I looked at Sonya who flushed guiltily.
"Sonya?" I growled.
"There was a message earlier in the week. Rose said she'd fallen pregnant the weekend of your birthday. Claimed she wasn't asking for anything from us but wanted to let us know you'd 'live on through your son or daughter.' " Sonya said the last part with a sneer. "She's clearly got herself in trouble and was trying to get her hands on your Guardian pension once she knew you were gone. So I erased the message," she said defiantly.
"How could you do that, Sonya?" It was Mama, and she was shouting - which is something she very rarely did. "That's not a decision for you to make. My poor daughter-in-law probably thinks we don't care or we don't believe her!"
"I don't believe her," Sonya spat back.
"I do," Babushka said decisively, looking up from her knitting.
"Then tell me, Babushka, how can two Dhampir conceive?" Sonya asked smugly.
"It can happen," Yeva replied, looking down to where she was setting the heel of a sock as she knitted. "If she's shadow-kissed."
My head snapped up.
"What do you know about being shadow-kissed?" I asked urgently looking at my grandmother.
"Not a lot," she said evasively. "You should ask Oksana – she and Mark are bonded. Like your Roza and the Princess."
"You knew she and Lissa are bonded? Did you know it was possible for Rose and I to have a child?" I groaned, putting my head in my hands.
"Not for sure until now," she said a little smugly.
"Babushka?! Do you have an idea how serious this is? I've got my seventeen-year-old student pregnant, and she thinks I'm dead. Can you imagine what she's going through?! I have to get back to her immediately!"
Babushka nodded.
"Your Russian passport is in your chest of drawers. Don't call and wake the girl now – she needs her sleep. Growing a baby is a tiring business. Send one of those messages," she suggested making a pointing gesture at her hand.
I looked at her not comprehending.
"I think she means a text," Viktoria whispered helpfully.
"Good idea," I muttered. "Viktoria get online and book me the fastest flights to Missoula, Montana," I ordered. "I don't care how many times I have to change planes – just get me there as quickly as possible!"
"Dimitri?" Yeva said, looking at me seriously. "If you have any doubt, do not do this. That girl can read you, and if you show her any hesitation, it will destroy the most precious part of her love for you."
"I have no doubt," I told her, meaning every word. "I know Rose, and I know our love. She's the most faithful person I've ever met. If she says she's pregnant and the baby is mine, then that's how it is. I'm going to be a Papa!" I said wondrously as it started to sink in.
A baby! With Roza! She was very young - much younger than I would have liked her to be - but she would be an amazing mother, and I would support her. I'd do whatever it took to build us a little home where the three of us could share our lives together. I didn't need much - everything I wanted was waiting for me in Missoula. The woman I loved. The woman who was carrying my child.
Mama came and gave me a hug and a kiss. She was weeping again, but this time with happiness. Karolina squeezed my arm and offered her congratulations before passing me her mobile phone. I typed in the international dialing numbers, followed by the familiar digits of Rose's cell.
My darling Roza. I know this will be a shock, but I was captured and have escaped. I am at home in Baia and am texting from Karolina's phone but am arranging flights now to get to you as soon as possible. I've read your most recent e-mail about the baby, and I'm going to be there soon to show you how much I adore you both. I love you milaya, and our baby too. I can't wait to have you both in my arms. Your Comrade Dimitri
I pressed send, a joyous smile on my face as I imagined Rose waking to see my message in the morning.
"How're the flights looking?" I asked Viktoria.
"You're not going to like me, but it looks like the fastest is going to be Omsk to Moscow, Moscow to Los Angeles, Los Angeles to Salt Lake City, Salt Lake City to Missoula."
"Ugh," I groaned. "How long?"
"If we can have you at the airport in Omsk for the early morning flight to Moscow, you'll be in Missoula in about twenty-four hours," she said apologetically.
"Dimka, you're exhausted. Stay a day or two and talk to Rose on the phone. She'll understand you need to rest before you can travel," Mama pleaded. I could tell she was disappointed at the idea of me leaving so soon.
"Mama, I can't," I said. "She's so sad, I can tell from her e-mail, and she's all alone. She said Lissa isn't talking to her. She needs me – and I need her," I admitted. "I promise I'll come visit soon. I'll bring her with me, but I need to be there for her now."
"Yes you do," Babushka said ending any discussion. "And Sonya, you need to apologize to your brother for your comments about Rose. You weren't to know Rose is shadow-kissed and could give your brother children," she held up her hand cutting off whatever Sonya had been about to say, "but when you're not in possession of all the facts you should reserve judgment and hold your tongue," she concluded fiercely.
"Sorry Dimka," Sonya mumbled.
"You'll understand when you meet her," I said irritably. "She's not a liar, and she is shadow-kissed."
"What does that even mean?" Sonya asked.
"It means she died and was brought back from the dead. She passed away in a car accident when she was fifteen," I explained, trying to keep my patience. "The Princess Dragomir specializes in a rare magic called Spirit. It allowed her to bring Rose back to life. I'm betting it was the Spirit that made it possible for us to conceive?" I asked my grandmother.
Babushka nodded.
"The girl is filled with life, but she's sad. She needs the sunshine of your love."
The next hour was spent booking flights, finding the Russian passport I'd need to use since I'd be traveling on regular human flights, and packing a bag with a few necessities to keep me going until I got back to Missoula. My credit card was still paused, so Mama used hers to buy the tickets. It was past midnight when she came downstairs carrying a small bundle wrapped in a pillowcase.
"You have plenty of room in your bag, take these with you for Rose," she requested, handing it to me. I looked inside to see some hand-made baby clothes and a baby blanket. "Tell her I sent them and how very happy I am she's going to make me a grandmother again."
"Mama? Rose will probably want all new things for the baby," I objected.
"She'll want these," Mama maintained. "They were yours when you were a baby. I saved them for your child one day."
I took them and packed them into the mostly empty backpack I was taking. Then I connected Vika's laptop to the Internet again, and to our old printer so I could print out every one of Rose's emails. I'd read them on the way back to her, so I knew everything that had happened while I was gone.
At 1 am I climbed exhausted into bed. Karolina and I would be leaving at 3 am to drive to Omsk, so I could be on the 5.30 am flight to Moscow. I was asleep almost the moment my head hit the pillow, but it seemed like ten minutes later when Karo was shaking me awake.
"Sorry, Dimka. It's time to go."
The only thing that made me haul my weary body out of bed was knowing I was on my way to see Rose. The adults were all up to wish me farewell. I felt badly that I'd only been home just over eight hours and had spent a couple of those sleeping, but my family understood. I needed to get back to the mother of my child.
"Karolina? Wait in Omsk at the airport until it's light and drive back in the daytime," Mama ordered. Strigoi attacks on the road were rare, but they did happen, so it was prudent to wait for the protection of the sun. "Dimka, take Babushka's stakes, and Karolina can bring them back with her." There was no arguing with Mama, so I obediently took Yeva's stakes for the trip to the airport. It would take us just under two hours, and I could tell Karolina was looking forward to talking. Closest to me in age, Karo was probably also my closest sibling.
"Come on Dimka – let's see these new wheels," she laughed as I kissed everyone farewell and we went outside to the car.
"Woah!" she moaned in appreciation looking at the SUV. "Does the heating work?" she asked hopefully.
"Karo, not only does the heating work, it has heated seats!" I boasted.
"I'm driving," Karolina announced gleefully, grabbing the keys from my hand. "You're too tired to be safe." Any other time I'd object, but she was probably right, so I gave in. "What's that?" she asked, inclining her head to the knapsack on the back seat.
"It's a book with a list of those abducted or recruited by Galina's army," I explained. "It looks like all those killed or turned are listed in it. I thought if I escaped I'd give it to the Guardian Council so the families could get some peace."
"The not knowing is the hardest," she agreed thoughtfully. "Poor Mama was going out of her mind not knowing what was going on."
"I'm sorry."
"It's part of your job Dimka," she said supportively. "But you might need to rethink things with a baby on the way. Becoming a parent has a way of changing how you see things," she said sagely. "Also I wanted to talk to you about Rose. As you know, I was seventeen when I fell pregnant with Paul, and even with all the support I got from Mama and Babushka, I was still terrified. She's going to need a lot of reassurance. Make sure she knows you're happy about the baby, but also that you still love and want her for her. Everyone makes such a fuss about the baby you can start to feel like just an incubator."
I laughed remembering when Paul had arrived. As her first grandchild, Mama had been besotted, and even Babushka had a particularly soft spot for the lad.
"Oh. And make sure she knows you still find her desirable sexually. Don't assume she's just going to know. Your body changes a lot during pregnancy, and at such a young age it's easy to get self-conscious."
I was glad it was dark in the cabin because I was blushing furiously. I wasn't in the habit of discussing my sex life with my sister.
"Is it even safe to do that while she's pregnant?" I murmured in embarrassment.
Karolina laughed.
"Yeah, just follow her lead. You might find she wants it more or less than usual - she'll have a lot of hormones in her system. Also, don't comment on how big or small her baby bump is. If you say it's big, she'll worry she's fat, if you say it's small she'll worry there's something wrong. Just tell her she looks beautiful," she continued warming to her topic.
"Ok, shall do. Anything else I need to know?"
"Give her lots of love. She's probably going to be irrational and moody. She might be shouting at you one minute and in tears and needing cuddles and comforting the next."
I snorted. "She pretty feisty most of the time, anyway," I laughed.
"I know with a baby on the way you're kind of committed to her now, but are you sure she's the one? You can still support her with the child but not be with her in you're not certain she's the right one for you."
"Karo she's everything to me. I love her so much it's crazy. That weekend, when I introduced you all to her, was our first weekend together as a couple. I took her on our first proper date and to the movies and an ice hockey game, and it all felt so right. She's the one I want to spend the rest of my life with." I lowered my voice, nervous about saying it out loud but knowing Karolina would understand. "Even before I knew about the baby, I thought that if I managed to come back to her, I might propose."
Karolina squealed excitedly.
"Really?! My little brother getting married?!"
"Well give me a chance to ask her, first," I said with a shy smile. "She might say no!"
"I'm sure she won't," she reassured me. "Hey? Does that mean you and she were first together that weekend?"
"Yes," I admitted, thinking we'd moved beyond that aspect of the conversation.
"Dimitri Randallovich Belikov! Didn't anyone tell you it's poor form to knock a girl up on the first date?" she demanded, laughing when she looked across at my flabbergasted expression.