The stewardess was giving me an appreciative look as I boarded, and I considered reciprocating to try to get an upgrade, but even smiling at another woman seemed like cheating on my milaya, so I trudged down to the middle of the aircraft, found my seat and stowed my single bag in the overhead locker. I was on the red eye Aeroflot service between Omsk and Moscow, so was surrounded mostly by business travelers, which suited me. No one was inclined to talk.

I'd scored a window seat, so I stretched out as well as I was able and watched Omsk disappear beneath us as we climbed into the sky. The flight took three and a half hours, so we'd be offered a hot breakfast. I was still tired, but also getting hungry, so I quickly glanced at the menu. It looks like they were serving;

Cold sliced chicken breast with
Gouda and Cheddar cheeses, Chinese cabbage and cherry tomato,
Cake with fruit filling,
Butter, yogurt, jam, and a roll

Plus a choice of:

Omelet, ratatouille with vegetarian-style tomato sauce,
Millet porridge with pumpkin, or
Pancakes with cherries and cream sauce

The man beside me saw me studying the menu and advised, "If there's a choice left by the time they get this far down, you want anything except the porridge."

I laughed but thanked him. Being a Guardian and used to eating mass prepared food, I prided myself on my ability to eat just about anything. But that didn't mean I'd go out of my way to choose something unpleasant. I ended up with the pancakes, and they were ok. Not as large a serve as I'd usually eat, but humans didn't have the same sort of muscle mass I did, so they didn't need as much food.

Once I'd eaten, and my tray was cleared, I closed my eyes and let my mind wander. The whole time I'd been away, I'd thought of Rose – but now I had something new to think about. The baby. Our baby. She'd said in her e-mail she didn't know if it were a boy or a girl yet. When I thought about our child, I immediately imagined a little girl. With our colorings, she'd probably be dark haired and dark eyed. In my mind's eye, she looked just like a miniature Rose. I chuckled quietly, already imagining me wrapped around her little finger.

I knew myself, and there's no way I'd be able to prevent myself spoiling her rotten! I'd still discipline her, of course, and give her a solid foundation of values to build upon. But she'd always know her Papa loved her – that he'd do anything for her. Heaven help the guy who got my little girl pregnant at seventeen, I mused hypocritically. He'd want to start running now because I'd catch up with him and there'd be hell to pay. For the first time, I think I was a little grateful Rose didn't know her father and barely had a mother. Not that I would do the wrong thing by her – I was back, and I was going to spend the rest of my life devoted to her and our child.

Thinking back to her e-mail I knew Lissa and Art knew about her pregnancy – so I was assuming Alberta, and the other Guardians did, too. She'd also mentioned no longer sparring with the other Novices, so perhaps they knew as well? I'm sure I'd find out once I read the stack of emails in my bag. There had been about thirty all up. Some quite short, others longer. I thought I'd wait to be settled on the long flight to Los Angeles before I read them in order.

My eyes closed, I also considered Karo's words to me. Particularly her comments about being sexual with Rose. I knew I had no right to expect it, but I hoped she'd still have some interest in being intimate with me when I returned home. Galina rubbing me through my pants was mercifully the furthest she'd gone, so it had been months since I'd had any relief. Not since that last time in Rose's dorm room. I'd take things into my own hand if Rose were unwilling, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't craving to reconnect with her in that way as soon as possible; not just for the physical relief – I was craving the intimacy with my girl.

I got a few hours sleep and woke as we were descending into Moscow. I'd passed through here on the way to Novosibirsk, but we'd used a private Moroi airstrip, not the Sheremetyevo International Airport. According to my schedule, I had a two-hour stopover here, so I thought I'd check in first and then find somewhere to eat. Mama and Karolina had given me all the money they'd on them, so I had cash to buy breakfast.

At the check-in gate, the woman asked if I was traveling alone.

"Yes. Just me."

"Is that your only baggage or have you bags checked through?"

"No – this is it," I answered perplexed.

"Your flight is overbooked, and as a single passenger with no bags, you're the most likely to be bumped. I can get you on an earlier flight if you'd like? It's leaving any minute?"

"That would be very welcome," I said, blessing her with my biggest smile. "I'm in a huge hurry to get home." She looked at me curiously. I was obviously Russian, so I suppose it was odd to hear a Russian man referring to America as home, but home is where the heart is - so right now mine was in Montana.

I ignored the grumbles of my stomach as I strode towards the boarding gate, arriving just as they were putting the last boarding call over the PA system. I ducked my head as I entered the cabin, showing my newly printed boarding pass to the attendant. I found my seat – the middle seat between two rotund passengers right at the back of the plane. This was going to be twelve hours of pain I thought to myself as I started to open my bag to retrieve Rose's e-mails.

"Sir? That doesn't look very comfortable. Why don't you follow me?" A middle-aged attendant suggested. I followed her back up the aisle, stopping at the 'Premium Economy' section. She gestured to a seat by the window. "Enjoy your flight."

Thanking her profusely, I stowed my bag not able to believe my good luck. The 'premium economy' seats weren't as large as business class, but it was a big step up from economy, especially in the legroom area. My e-mails in hand I took my seat, dutifully listened to the safety information, then looked out the window and said goodbye to my homeland. I always felt a little pang when I left my motherland. I'd promised Mama I would return soon, and I intended to. My few hours at home had not been enough, and I knew Mama wished I could have stayed longer. Plus I'd love to show Roza the delights of Russia. I knew she thought of it as an arctic wasteland, but I'd bring her in summer and show her how beautiful it was.

I could just imagine bringing our child here. I would teach them to speak Russian from the moment they were born so they'd be able to talk like a native. I must ask Mama if she could send some nursery rhyme books over. I should probably teach Rose Russian, too. She wouldn't like it if our little Princess and Papa could speak it and she couldn't!

Because of the time difference between Omsk and Moscow, we were still on the breakfast menu, so this time I had the omelet. It wasn't too bad, but I had to suppress a smile as the woman across the way from me complained when she tried the millet porridge. Accepting a cup of strong black coffee, and pulling my dog-eared photos of Rose from my duster, I tilted my printed sheets of paper so they could not be read by my seatmate, were they so inclined, and read her first e-mail.

Dear Comrade,
It's midnight Saturday – four days exactly since you left. Everything's the same here, but in other ways so different. Celeste has started training with me, so I'm still working out twice every day. I'm grateful because the days are long without you here and it's hard to fill them.

We would be working out today, too, but Celeste is doing an extra shift so I've done my homework and then the washing. All your things are piled up ready to return to your room. I'll get Alberta to let me in so I can return them.

Eddie was the first to ask where you were, so the story of you visiting Baia is now out. No one's questioned it.

My qualifier is scheduled for three days before Christmas. I'm not sure who'll be going with me. I might ask if Celeste can go. She kind of knows about us, so it's easy to hang out with her. She doesn't ask why I keep bursting into tears! I'm nervous about meeting Arthur Schoenberg. Even retired the guy is a badass. I almost wish you didn't warn me as now I'm stressing about that, too.

I have been missing you like crazy. Falling asleep without you is hard. I get out our photos and look at how happy we were together. I wonder where you are and what you're doing. Are you missing me, too? Is it hard for you to sleep as well? I spend my nights wondering and worrying. More than anything I wish you were here.

I want you, Dimitri. I'm dragging myself through the days, but nothing seems to hold my interest anymore. All I want is you.

I love you. I miss you. Please come back to me,
Your Roza

I smiled, rubbing my fingers across her lips in the photo. I read it again and then again, trying to imagine her sitting in her dorm room typing her message of love to me. With a smile I placed the piece of paper at the back of my stack, reading her next e-mail. I'd read several more before I got to a lengthy e-mail about Tasha Ozera. When I'd spoken to Rose after her Qualifier, she'd told me Tasha had planned to go to St. Vlad's for Christmas, but I'd had no idea she'd had elaborate plans for a 'reunion' with me!

Things between Tasha and I had always been strictly platonic. I'd never even kissed her, and had no intention of doing so. Even if I had found her attractive, and I hadn't, the whole thing with Ivan would have been enough to put me off. They'd dated briefly; a week at the most. But she'd gone a little crazy when Ivan moved on. Mostly it was just drunken phone calls and turning up at his house unannounced, but there was an ugly incident when Tasha had attacked Lydia Voda when Ivan had taken her to the movies one night. Tatiana had ended up having to step in, 'suggesting' that St. Vladimir's would be a good place for Christian to complete his schooling and not so subtly hinting that Tasha should move to America to live closer to him while he was at school.

I hadn't heard from her after that until Ivan died. She'd reached out then, suggesting she come to Russia to help me with my grief, but I'd been too messed up to see anyone. Once I came to St. Vladimir's, we'd text every few months, or have the occasional phone call. I hadn't detected any romantic overtone to the calls, but looking back now yeah there might have been some hint of it on her behalf.

I mentally cursed myself. I, of all people, knew how crazy Tasha could get – yet I'd unwittingly left my pregnant girlfriend to deal with her on her own. I felt sick about Rose having to endure Tasha's delusions of a romance between she and I while also worrying about my safety. I couldn't wait to get back there and prove to Rose with words and deeds that she was the only woman I wanted.

I sighed, reading the next e-mail and then the one she'd sent me on Christmas morning. She was right. Our first Christmas together and I hadn't been there for her. Even though I'd had no choice in it, I still felt guilty, promising myself I'd make next Christmas sensational. We'd have a real tree, food and presents galore and I'd spend the whole day spoiling Roza like crazy. Roza and our baby, I realized. We'd be celebrating our baby's first Christmas, too! It still seemed surreal, but I was happy. I shuffled my papers, reading the next e-mail.

Dear Comrade,
I want to start by telling you I love you. Because once you see what I'm about to write I doubt you'll read any further. So I love you. And I'm always going to love you. Even if you believe nothing else, know I adore you. With everything I am.

And it turns out everything I am is a little more than I thought. Last night Celeste made me do a pregnancy test (well three of them actually) and I'm expecting. I'd say 'we', but if I find it hard to believe that you and I made a baby together, I can't expect you to just accept my word for it.

But believe it or not, that's what's happened. I'm not sure how, but you were my first and have remained my only. So I know the baby is ours, even if no one else believes me. Even you.

I'm freaking out, Comrade. For all my talk of 'when Dimitri comes home' I understand the chances of that happening aren't great. And even if you do, what's the likelihood of you believing that somehow the impossible happened for us?

Celeste said there're vitamins I need to be taking and things I need to know, so she's taking a Guardian car out this morning to get me what I need. I'm so grateful she's here because there's honestly no one else I can talk to, other than you.

I don't know what to do. I just looked up online, and if I use 12/4 as the date our miracle happened then I'm due the end of August. Maybe I can make it through to the end of May without people knowing so I can graduate? Not that I'll be able to guard with a newborn, but maybe I can take a few months off and then start work as soon as the baby is old enough to go to daycare? Do they even have daycare for babies?!

I wish you were here. You're always so calm and in control, and I could use some of that right now. And I miss you, even more so now.

I love you, Comrade. And even though I'm terrified, I already love our little Christmas surprise, too. In some stupid way, it helps to know that I have a tiny piece of you with me. Something from us.

All my love,
Your Roza

I read and reread the e-mail. I felt her distress that I wouldn't believe her that it was our baby. It's funny because from the second I'd read her e-mail at Mama's, not once did I question the baby she was carrying was mine. Like I'd said to Babushka – I knew Rose.

I kept reading, hearing about her molnija ceremony and how she was going with her training. Reading between the lines things weren't great with her, but she tried to keep things upbeat in her e-mails. I'd just accepted my second cup of coffee when I read the first email with an attachment.

Dear Comrade,

I'm writing to you from hospital in Missoula, but don't worry – Junior is fine. Who's not going to be fine is Blake Aylett when I get back on campus! I was in Townsend's class Friday morning, and we were doing upper technique sparring when he grabbed my hands and intentionally kicked me in the abdomen. It hurt like a bitch, and I thought I was going to lose our baby, but Dr. Olendzki sent me to the human hospital in Missoula to get checked out, and we're both ok.

So Alberta and Dr. Olendzki now know about Junior and that you're the father. I hadn't planned to tell them about you, but they needed to know your medical history and blood group. I'm not sure Dr. Olendzki completely believes me, but I know Alberta does. Mason and Eddie also know I'm pregnant, but they don't know about you. Dr. Olendzki wants to keep Junior's paternity a secret in case people try and run tests on Junior and me. So other than Alberta, Celeste, Dr. Olendzki, and Lissa when I finally tell her, I won't be telling anyone else here that Junior is our baby.

I had the twelve-week scan a couple of hours ago, and it was cool. Everything is as it should be, although the doctor did say that Junior is going to be tall. I wonder where he or she gets that from? He recorded it on DVD for me, so when you get back, we can watch it together. They've also taken blood to test for a whole heap of things, but that's routine.

I have to remain in the hospital until Monday, and then if everything is still ok, I can go back to St. Vlad's. I'll have to stay in the infirmary there until Friday, and then I need to get back into things. The Moroi doctor I saw said I can only train for another eight weeks, so Alberta is going to try and move my training up and give me my combat exams early so I can graduate. Just as well you trained me so well, because I'm going to need every advantage I can get if I'm to pass.

While it was wonderful seeing Junior, and to know he or she is safe, it made me miss you even more. I would have given anything to have you here with me for our first look at our baby. I haven't heard any news about you since you were deployed. I'm hoping no news is good news, but I worry. It seems all I ever do is worry.

Now Alberta knows, I've been thinking about telling my mother and yours. I know my mother will take it badly, but I don't know about yours. I've been putting it off thinking it's something you should tell your family because they probably won't believe me. That's assuming you believe me.

Everything seems so much more real now I've seen Junior. I didn't ask, and I don't think I want to find out, but I think it's a boy. I'm not really sure why. Maybe because I like the idea of a little boy who looks just like his Daddy? Celeste bought a baby name book downstairs in the gift shop before, so I'm going to read through that later and see if I can get any ideas. I thought I'd make a list of names I like so we can talk about them when you get back.

I miss you, Comrade. I wish you were here. It's hard doing this alone, especially when I want to share every thought and moment with you. The doctor gave me some photos of Junior which I've attached. I hope when you see these you'll be as happy as I am.

I love you, Dimitri. I miss you, and I can't stop wondering where you are.

You need to come back to us because you're everything to Junior and me.

Always your loving
Roza

I wasn't aware of the tears on my cheeks until my seatmate asked if I was ok. I looked up at them in surprise, tearing my eyes away from the four little images on the page. The old printer at Baia had done them no justice, but I could still make out the unmistakable head, body, arms and legs of Junior. He or she was beautiful!

"I'm fine, thank you," I said giving them a radiant smile. "Just looking at ultrasound pictures of my baby. My girlfriend is pregnant," I said, a proud animated smile on my face.

"Your first child?"

I nodded.

"I'm very excited," I admitted.

The flight passed slowly. I read through the emails twice, fuming at some of them, smiling at others. There were going to be some scores to settle once I got home; that's for sure! Overall they raised more questions than they answered, but the constant theme of Rose's unchanged love for me was very welcome. I stopped for the lunch service;

Chicken breast with Parmesan cheese, croutons, and Cherry Tomato
Рineapple сake
Сheese spread, butter, roll, rye bread, Caesar mayonnaise sauce
Beef stew with oyster sauce, served with buckwheat, green peas, and carrots

The beef stew was quite nice. Once I'd eaten, and the plate was cleared I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. It was difficult, and I managed to doze, but real sleep eluded me. All I could think of was getting back to St. Vlad's. Eventually, we started the descent into Los Angeles, and I mentally prepared myself for several hours just sitting and waiting for my next flight.

I remained seated until almost the whole flight had exited the plane. Standing under the bulkhead comfortably was impossible for me, so I waited until I could step out into the clear aisle. I shouldered my bag, not forgetting to thank the stewardess who had changed me to the more comfy seat. On the concourse, I navigated my way to the StarWay desk. I explained I had a ticket to Missoula via Salt Lake City but had caught an earlier flight in from Moscow and was wanting to see if I could get on an earlier flight to get me to Missoula.

The young man helping me was anything but helpful, but after begging him to check he tapped away at the keyboard, huffing and puffing the entire time. I was doing my best to remain calm, so I let him do his thing. I turned around so I wouldn't explode at his exaggerated exasperation, and was surprised to see two Guardians standing beside me, addressing the next attendant.

"Special baggage pickup please," a deep voice said, handing over several baggage claim tickets. One of them looked at me and gave me a small acknowledging nod. I didn't know either of them, but they'd no doubt picked me as Dhampir and noticed my promise mark and molnija. I saw the attendant beside me hand over several stake boxes. I felt a small pang. Traveling without stakes, I felt half naked.

"I'm sorry, sir. There are no seats on an earlier flight or connecting flights to Missoula," the man helping me said.

"Can you try Billings? I'm sorry to be a pain, but I need to get to Montana as quickly as possible. I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important."

The older of the two Guardians beside me turned.

"Pavel," he said stretching out his hand. "Whereabouts in Montana are you headed?"

"Belikov," I said, shaking his hand, "and St. Vladimir's," I said softly so the attendant couldn't hear me.

He nodded to the other man to check and sign for their belongings. He stepped to one side and used his phone, returning to me after a moment.

"We're headed to St. Vladimir's ourselves. My charge Abe Mazur said you're welcome to join us on our private plane since we're headed there anyway. We're about to leave now."

I grinned.

"Thank you so much, that would be wonderful!"

I knew the name. Hell – there wasn't a Dhampir in Europe who didn't know who Abe Mazur was. Zmey. But right now I'd accept a ride from the devil himself if it got me back to Rose quicker. I told the attendant he could stop looking for flights. I saw his speculative look at Pavel, the other Guardian and myself and could feel the corner of my lip twitching. No matter what explanation he'd concocted in his mind, it couldn't be as fantastic as the truth.

"So what finds you in a hurry to get to St. Vladimir's?" Pavel asked me, after introducing me to his companion Kirk.

"It's a long story, but basically a girl," I said with a grin.

"Isn't it always?" Pavel replied with a deep rich laugh and a knowing smile.