"Where do you want to sit milaya?"
It was awkward. If we sat with at my usual table, then it shunned Dimitri's Guardian colleagues, but if we sat with the Guardians, it ignored my friends. Most groups had 'their' tables, but there were a few that were mostly unclaimed, so we went to sit at one of those almost directly between my usual table and his. It was like I'd observed with Eddie and Chelsea – when a couple was serious they sat at lunch together. We were fortunate we'd arrived a few minutes before the end of the fourth period, so we could seat ourselves before the hoards descended. Dimitri got two trays and chose food for both of us. It wasn't hard – the Academy had a certain number of dishes it served in rotation, and he knew which I preferred.
He came to sit next to me, and I stole a kiss while the cafeteria was deserted.
"Do you think everyone's going to know what you did to me this morning?" I whispered saucily, my chest tightening as I thought about our lovemaking again.
"After the way we attacked each other yesterday, I think they might have an idea," he chuckled. "Now remember, Alberta wants us to try and keep our hands off one another in public."
"Easy for her to say," I grumbled. "So what do you need to do this afternoon?" I started picking at the spaghetti bolognese, wondering if I could con Dimitri into getting me ice cream with chocolate sauce for dessert if I claimed it was a craving.
"I need to ring Guardian Headquarters at Court to check in. They'll probably want me to go to Court, Roza. What happened in Russia was big. When I left, I took a list of Guardians and Moroi killed by the army. Those families deserve to know what happened to their loved ones."
Rationally I knew he was right, but I wasn't ready to let go of him yet. I didn't want to guilt him, but it frightened me.
"Do you think they'd let me go too? I'll be eighteen on Saturday… we could make it a trip for my birthday," I suggested hopefully.
"I can ask Alberta," he said, not sounding particularly hopeful.
"Do I even need permission to leave campus once I'm eighteen?" I asked. "I can just sign myself out, can't I?"
"You can," Dimitri said, "But with the pregnancy and everything else, Headmistress Kirova may well not take you back."
"Is that such a bad thing? It's not like I'm going to guard Lissa – do I even need to graduate?"
"Yes, you need to graduate, milaya. That is not negotiable. It also gives me time to get another allocation and a proper home for you and the baby. We can't stay here forever, so we need to work out what next."
"Do you have any ideas?" I asked, not missing his worried look.
"I do, but none of them are great," he sighed. I was going to ask more when the bell went, and the cafeteria started to fill with people. We began eating our lunch, my stomach fluttering a little with nerves. This was kind of our couple coming out. Dimitri, as usual, looked supremely unconcerned, but then he shot me a loving look, and I knew he was feeling it a bit, too.
"D!" Celeste greeted enthusiastically, dropping down to sit next to him. "It's good to see you, you big lug," she said bumping him with her shoulder before accepting a one-armed hug from my man.
"I'm really happy for you both," she said with a huge grin. "And congrats, man," she said with a meaningful look at me.
"Thanks, Celeste," he said in his rich accented voice. "For everything. Rose has told me about how supportive you've been, especially with the baby. I can't tell you how much I appreciate you guiding her through everything."
Dimitri didn't notice it, but I saw Celeste tense a little, her eyes flicking to meet mine. I very subtly shook my head, letting her know I hadn't betrayed her secret. Dimitri wasn't going to hear about Stella's parentage from me.
"Hey, not going to faint on us again are you?" Mason teased, coming around to sit opposite us. "Not that I mind you throwing yourself into my arms, but I think the big guy here might have an issue with it," he joked a little awkwardly.
"Nah – I think you're safe, Duckie," I said, seeing him flush at my old pet name for him.
"It's good to see you back Guardian Belikov," Mason continued. "You might have noticed someone really missed you!"
"I missed her, too," he said giving me a particularly loving look.
Dimitri's phone was vibrating for the umpteenth time since we'd sat down. Pulling it out of his pocket, Dimitri checked the caller ID, sighed and put it down on the table.
"Again?" I asked.
He nodded. Tasha had been calling him every few minutes. I shook my head in irritation, but refused to let her intrusion upset me. This was a special day for Dimitri and I. Eddie and Chelsea joined us shyly, sitting beside Mason on the opposite side of the table.
"Surprised to see you, Belikov. It seems like reports of your death were a little exaggerated!" Eddie joked.
"After twenty-four hours on a plane I almost felt dead," Dimitri replied jovially.
"He texted me to let me know he was ok and on his way, but because Lissa cut off my phone I didn't get the message," I explained.
"It was very romantic when you fainted, Rose," Chelsea said sweetly. "And I thought you were going to punch Mason if he didn't pass Rose to you, Guardian Belikov."
"I thought he was going to punch me," Mason said, only half joking.
I rolled my eyes, putting my hand on top of Dimitri's and stroking it lightly. It was only a little gesture, but I could see everyone looking at it in surprise. It was going to take even my friends a while to get used to us being together.
"So are you back at St. Vladimir's to stay Guardian Belikov?" Chelsea asked innocently.
"We're not sure what's happening, yet, Chelsea," I answered for him. "Dimitri has to check in with Guardian Headquarters to figure out what next." Chelsea missed the subtext of what I was saying, but Eddie and Mason didn't. They knew the future was still up in the air for the two of us.
As we were eating, Guardians came over one by one to welcome Dimitri back. Guardian Alto was surprisingly enthusiastic in his greeting, giving my Russian God a one-armed hug come back slap, and even offering his congratulations on the 'special news.' I'm not sure who was more stunned – Dimitri or me.
Meredith and Angela joined our table, and so did Emil; although true to form he didn't actually say anything, although he did shake Dimitri's hand and gave him a nod. We must have looked a motley crew, but it was comfortable. The lunch hour was drawing to a close when I felt Lissa approach me from behind. It would have been difficult to miss – tension was pouring through the bond. I turned to her before she said anything, looking at her levelly, not acknowledging Christian where he stood beside her.
"Rose," she acknowledged, her steady voice belying the erratic feelings I could sense through the bond. "Guardian Belikov," she continued, almost flinching under Dimitri's emotionless gaze. "We're both so pleased to see you safely returned. I was wondering whether you had any free time this afternoon for a discussion?"
I looked at Dimitri who met my eyes. To anyone else it would appear as though we were just glancing at one another but as usual, we seemed to know what the other was thinking. He was saying it was up to me, but we might as well get it over and done with. I was telling him I wasn't feeling particularly forgiving, but I'd give them a chance.
"Yes, Rose and I have an hour free after lunch," Dimitri replied. He wasn't cold, but he wasn't friendly either.
"We just need to speak to you Belikov," Christian said none too politely.
"That might be so, but I also have things to say. Things which Rose should hear," Dimitri said leaving no room for argument.
"Right then shall we say my dorm room at one fifteen then?" I directed with a nod, turning back around, cuddling slightly against Dimitri as he draped his arm around me and starting a conversation with Meredith. I suppressed a giggle as I felt through the bond Lissa realize she didn't know where my dorm room was. I waited until a little later when I felt Lissa leave to go to the feeders before standing up with Dimitri to head to my room.
I hadn't slept a wink last night. From the moment Guardian Belikov had walked into the cafeteria and held Rose when she fainted, I knew what she'd said to me about them being together was true. The way he looked at her all but screamed his feelings, and despite being her best friend for fourteen years, I'd never seen her look at anyone the way she looked at him. There was so much love, trust, and adoration. Rose, who let her defenses down for no one, was completely open to him.
Looking back, now, I could start to see it. How withdrawn she'd been. How lost she'd seemed, even before Christmas. Even the day they'd told us about Guardian Belikov being reassigned, I could now see she already knew. And if she was telling the truth about their relationship, it followed she was probably telling the truth about him being the father of her baby, too. I don't know how two Dhampirs had achieved it, but it seemed likely Guardian Belikov had been the one to get Rose pregnant. Eddie seemed to believe it, and he wasn't easily fooled.
I tried to remember what Rose had said the day she'd told me she was pregnant. She'd said she and Guardian Belikov had gone away together. I could recall some training thing about that time. She'd been gone for the better part of a week. I suppose that's when it happened?
What I couldn't figure out is how Tasha fitted into all this. Maybe Guardian Belikov had moved on and just not told her? By Tasha's own account, it had been a long time since they'd seen one another face to face. But Guardian Belikov didn't seem that sort to mislead a woman. But then I wouldn't have picked him as the sort to fool around with a seventeen-year-old student, either.
Christian had been on the phone to Tasha almost before Rose and Guardian Belikov had left the cafeteria. I was so cranky with him about that. Honestly, a few minutes reflection and discussion might have been in order, first. As it is, the evening had been ruined; me sitting on Christian's bed listening to him placate his Aunt. I'd spoken to her for a moment, and she'd been furious, citing all sorts of conspiracy theories each sounding more peculiar than the last.
Tasha was keen to come to campus, but she seemed fairly certain Guardian Petrov wouldn't allow it. So instead she convinced Christian to find out what was going on between Rose and Guardian Belikov. And that's where I came in. Christian wanted me to help him speak with Guardian Belikov. I didn't think there was much to be said. He was with Rose; that much was clear. But since I wanted to speak with Rose myself I agreed. I told Christian I'd wait until I saw one or the other of them and ask for an audience.
I knew Christian had a whole speech planned, but what was harder was knowing what I should say. I'd been wrong, and I wasn't sure there was any coming back from this.
I was still thinking about it when Christian and I walked into the cafeteria and saw the two of them sitting at a table with some Novices and Guardians. I didn't know how Rose would react, but I hoped she'd be civil. While she might be sarcastic and sometimes downright nasty when provoked, she'd never been like that with me. I hoped she wouldn't humiliate me in public.
"We could have met them in the common room," Dimitri said.
"Yes, but I kind of like them having to figure out where my dorm room is," I stated with a giggle. "And I can't wait until they see all our photos. Remind me to move the vodka shots one right to eye level," I joked.
"You're a terror milaya," he groaned.
"Sure am!" I said, giving Dimitri's lips a quick peck before skipping down the corridor in front of him. He caught up with me at my dorm door, and I slipped my arms around his neck, leaning against the door as we kissed. We were there for ages, and things were getting pretty heated when I could hear people climbing the stairs to the third floor. Probably Lissa and Christian. I let us into my room, quickly checking if there were anything I wouldn't want them seeing. It was neat and tidy although not for the first time I thought how tiny it was. There was only my bed and one chair to sit on at the small desk, mostly because there wasn't enough room for much else. If it hadn't been for the wall shelves, there wouldn't have been room even for my meager belongings.
"Comrade? Can you go grab a couple of chairs from the common room?" I asked, starting to feel nervous. I saw where Dimitri's clothes were still piled on my desk. I was going to put them away but decided not to. No more hiding how we felt and what we meant to one another!
Dimitri arrived back at the same time as Lissa and Christian. He walked through the doorway first and unceremoniously dumped two chairs at the foot of my bed, pulling my desk chair over next to where I sat cross-legged on my bed and turning around to sit backward on it, leaning on the back. The door was open, but it didn't matter – in the middle of the school day we were the only ones up here.
I saw Lissa looking around her in shock. I could see she'd had no idea this is how Novices were housed. It's true Kirova had probably made sure I had the smallest, meanest room available – which only accentuated the difference between my dorm room and hers. Christian was silent, staring at the wall of photos of Dimitri and I. I watched Lissa as her gaze made their way to that wall, her mouth dropping open a little at what she saw. Dimitri put his phone on my study desk, ignoring it as it started buzzing again. He looked straight at Christian.
"So you wanted to speak with me?" he said his tone anything but welcoming. One of his hands was resting on my leg, his fingers idly drawing little patterns on my knee.
"Yes," Christian replied insolently. "I want to know what you're playing at stringing along my Aunt?"
"Stringing along your Aunt?" Dimitri repeated gravely. "Perhaps you should start by explaining to me what you think there is between Tasha and me?"
"Tasha told me you have a history. That there was a long-term understanding between the two of you to be together and start a family. She was here at Christmastime hoping to finalize arrangements for you to be reallocated to her when Lissa graduated."
Dimitri looked at him one eyebrow raised derisively before he turned to me.
"How much do you know abut things, milaya?"
"Some," I admitted. "Karolina gave me some background and your Mama and Babushka confirmed it." He nodded, squeezing my knee.
"I was nineteen or twenty when I met your Aunt," Dimitri said to Christian. "My late charge Ivan and I were at a party held by an old friend from St. Basils. Your Aunt is a distant cousin and was visiting him. She took an instant liking to Ivan, and they went out for a week. Ivan wasn't an evil man, but he was a wealthy young royal Moroi with no responsibilities and far too much time and money on his hands – both of which he liked spending on women. He was always clear about his intentions. The ladies knew he'd date them for a few weeks, take them to the best restaurants and nightclubs, show them a fabulous time, buy them an expensive piece of jewelry and move on to the next woman.
"Ivan and Tasha went out, but right from the start, it was evident she wanted more than he did, so he broke it off after only a week. And that's when the trouble started. Tasha just wouldn't take no for an answer. She kept calling him, showing up at his home unannounced or going to places she knew he would be. He tolerated it for a while, but it was getting over the top, so he asked me to step in and act as a buffer between them. It meant spending a lot of hours listening to your Aunt," Dimitri said diplomatically.
"It had been several months, and things were getting worse, not better when she attacked Lydia Voda one night at the cinema while Lydia was on a date with Ivan. The Voda's were incensed and petitioned Queen Tatiana who stepped in and suggested to Tasha that she move to America while you completed your schooling here. I didn't speak to your Aunt again until Ivan died, and after that not until I came to St. Vladimir's three years ago. We would text every few months and maybe twice a year have a brief phone call, mostly about yourself and catching up on gossip about mutual friends. That is the extent of any relationship between your Aunt and me."
"I don't believe you," Christian snapped, but one look at Lissa proved she did.
"I don't care what you believe. I'm not a liar, and that's what happened. I've never even kissed your Aunt, nor have I wanted to. There was no understanding between us and even had she made me such an offer I would have said no." Dimitri's voice was calm, but he wasn't mucking around.
"But she's Moroi. Royal Moroi," Christian blustered. "You're a promised Guardian! She can request you!"
Even Lissa bristled at that.
"I swore to defend and protect; I'm not a prostitute Lord Ozera. And my love can't be bought either!" He was keeping his cool, but I could see Dimitri was seething. The fact his phone had been buzzing almost non-stop since they'd arrived wasn't helping matters.
"Christian, maybe we need to consider that some of Tasha's thoughts might have been wishful thinking? She's obviously very taken with Guardian Belikov, and maybe she made more out of things in her mind than was there?" She was being diplomatic, but Lissa was telling him to give it up; that Dimitri and Tasha's romance had all been a figment of Tasha's imagination.
"So what about this bullshit about you getting Rose pregnant? Everyone knows Dhampir can't have kids together. How do you think Tasha feels knowing you've chosen a girl passing off another guy's kid as yours over her?"
I could feel Dimitri tensing ready to explode.
"The paternity of Rose's baby is none of your business!" he said very quietly. "And I don't give a damn how anyone feels about me loving Rose."
"Well, no one believes Rose. Everyone just thinks she's a slut," Christian retorted spitefully.
Dimitri stood up, pushing the chair aside.
"You're so stupid you still have no idea what you've done, do you?" he roared. "Let's imagine for a moment that I am this child's father. That when Lissa healed Rose, she healed her to the extent she can conceive with another Dhampir. Can you imagine what they'll want to do to Rose when they find out? To our child? They'll make them guinea pigs."
Christian was about to reply, but Dimitri kept shouting.
"Now I know what happens to Rose and our baby is of no interest to you, so let me bring it closer to home. Guardian numbers are falling, and Strigoi are on the rise. What do you think is going to happen to Lissa if anyone knows she possesses the power to enable Dhampir to reproduce together? You saw what one man was willing to do to her to save himself - what do you think hundreds of scared entitled Moroi would be willing to do if they thought they were saving their entire way of life?!"
Christian was finally silent, and Lissa was almost crying. I don't think the full extent of announcing my pregnancy and the father to all and sundry had occurred to either of them until Dimitri pointed it out.
Is he really the father? Lissa asked me through the bond. Are you absolutely certain?
I looked at her and nodded, tears starting to well in my eyes.