"Italia-kun!"

"Japan!"

"Italia-kun!"

"Japan!"

"Italia-kun!"

"Japan!"

What the fuck are they doing? You may ask yourself. Here, I'll tell you: they were drunk.

Japan jumped into Italy's arms and glomped him while Italy was just making that stupid grin face he always has.

"Italia-kuun~! You are so cute~!" Japan giggled.

"No! You are cuter!"

"Noo~! You are so cute I could hug you all day!"

"Ve~! Well, you are so cute, I could kiss you all day!"

"Ney, Italia-kun, you are so cute, I could fuck you all day!"

Italy gasped. "Japan! Don't swear! After all, you are younger than me!"

"I wouldn't actually fuck you Italia-kun, and anyway I am older than you!"

Italy clamped his hand on Japan's mouth. "Ve, Japan stop swearing!"

"FUCK FUCK FUCK!" Japan shouted but it came out as 'mnf mnf mnf'.

"JAPAN!" shrieked Italy. Japan licked Italy's hand.

"Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew, fuck you Japan, you're such a...JAPAIN in the ass," Italy wiped his hand on Japan.

"That was a very bad pun, Italia-kun," Japan said, sassily.

"I DON'T CARE! I AM ITALY!"

"Nee, Italia-kun, did you happen to hear about the chef that died?"

"Ve~ I heard he pasta away!"

"Hai, we cannoli do so much," Japan was trying not to giggle.

"Sí, his legacy will become a pizza history."

"Here today, gone tomato," Japan was laughing so hard inside. Too hard. That is not safe.

"Ve, how sad that he ran out of thyme," Italy was loosing it now.

"Sending olive my prayers to the family," Japan's face was so red at that moment.

"His wife is really upset, cheese still not over it," Italy's lip was going to bleed if he didn't stop biting it to stop laughing.

"You never sausage a tragic thing!" they said together. And they lost it and laughed for ages.

Japan's phone buzzed and Japan checked it. And giggled. I swear, giggling nations is so fucking scary.

"Ve, Japan, are you talking to... him?" Italy let out a snort because of all the cheesy stuff Japan was sent.

"Maybe~"

Germany walked in.

Were Italy and Japan fucking giggling?!

Well Italy he could understand, but Japan?!

Germany walked back out.

The end.

A/N: I listened to this 10 minute challenge where Japan says 'Italian-kun' (it sounded so sexual omfg) and that was my inspiration for this... don't ask

I wasn't supposed to add the Japan X secret person but I couldn't resist

huehuehuehue