"Yes, always," Ziva replied quietly, tightening her arms around his neck.
"You promise that you won't get mad?" Tony started and felt her body tense up under his grip.
"I do not like that promise, you know that…" She groaned, leaning her forehead against his while her nails scraped through his scalp.
"I know, but I need you to hear me out just this once…" He tried to reason with her, knowing fully that this wouldn't end up well.
"What about all of the other times I heard you out, yes?" She joked, rubbing her nose against his developing facial hair. "Let us go to bed before talking?"
Tony sighed, taking his hands off her waist and rubbing his face in frustration. Ziva took note of his anxiety towards whatever was happening and grabbed his hand, pulling him off the table. She led him up the stairs and quietly into their bedroom, turning on the baby monitors on each of their night stands. She stripped of her clothing quickly, annoyed that Tony barely noticed she was naked for a few moments which was a rare occasion, especially for him.
Something was definitely wrong.
Throwing on her favorite shirt of his, she watched him climb slowly into bed and wait for her to join. She followed suit, exhaling deeply before sinking into his open arms and asking the question that was on her mind, "What happened?"
"Two Navy officers washed ashore The Hampton's area. The 'hamlets'" Tony made air quotes as he spoke, "are worried that there's a greater danger in the area so, they're calling on my team to go check everything out, find the bad guy…"
"Okay?" Ziva spoke softly, "What does that have to do with you? Your team is already there… I am sure they can do just fine,"
"Zi…" He exhaled her name, closed his eyes and thought carefully on his next choice of words.
"They can surely be capable of doing something without you, right?" She peered up at him, worriedly.
"You know how it goes," He responded, throwing his hands up in defeat in the air.
"How what goes? Tony, you and I always did more than Gibbs when it came down to the cases. We spent thousands of nights in the office, hotel rooms and undercover taking down the bad guy. Teams are meant to take over when needed," She was annoyed nonetheless and knew exactly what this was going to lead up to.
"But I'm not Gibbs, Zi! I don't want to be the same as him. I don't want to make everyone follow a set of rules and have no chance of ever being promoted because I won't retire. I don't want what I had, what we had, for my team. Think about it, we weren't happy when we had to put in one hundred and ten percent into the job while our boss only put in twenty percent. I will never let Gibbs come full circle on me," He sat up more in bed, Ziva sliding down his body slowly to the new change in position.
Irritated that he wasn't starting to shut her out and moved away from her, Ziva sat up next to him "I understand that. It was awfully tiring to have to be putting so much into the job, but I would not trade those experiences for anything because I got to spend all that time with you, yes?" She cocked her head at him.
"Wouldn't trade that for the world, sweetcheeks." He leaned down, pecking her on the lips quickly before returning to his sitting position.
"Did you tell them that you will be there on Friday?" She asked, biting her lip nervously when he groaned.
"Not Friday, Zi… tomorrow," He threw his head back when her eyes became large.
"Y-you promised Ty that you would be here for his birthday, Tony. You cannot just-" She was interrupted by Tony.
"I can't just what, Ziva?!" His voice grew strained mimicking their relationship, "It's a job, I have to be there. I can't control when dead bodies are found, let alone the date that they're found!"
"You also have a job as a father! You make these promises to them and then you always break them because of work! But you do not get to see what it is like once you break those promises, Tony! They cry for their Dad, and they want him to be there for these special events!" Ziva felt the tears welling in her eyes, the tiredness of arguing with Tony that she felt rise in her stomach from the past few months.
"They're young, they'll understand!" Tony remarked and shut up quickly when he saw the dirty look on Ziva's face.
"Really, Tony? They are young, they will understand? Do you think our parents said the same thing and look at the way we turned out? Both of us remember fucked up childhood experiences caused by our fathers and you believe that our children will not remember this? Who the hell do you think you are playing with, Tony?!" Tony was quiet, knowing not to respond to a pissed off Ziva when she suddenly jumped away from him, standing up and beginning to yell, "Tony, I remember what it was like when my father could not attend any of my ballet recitals! It was hell! I was only four or five then, but I remember all of the other girls rushing off to their Dads and jumping into their arms. Recitals alike birthdays and Hanukkah, My father could not be there because of work, because of Mossad and his duties. I was young then and I sure as hell did not understand,"
He quietly shushed her, "Don't wake the kids, Ziva." He felt terrible about striking a childhood nerve within her, but he couldn't do anything about his job.
"Do not wake the kids? Why? Why should you not be the one to tell them that you have to leave…again? I am done telling excuses for you, Tony. You are missing your son's birthday and you will have to be the one to tell him," She folded her arms over her breasts, waiting for his response.
"You want me to wake them up at 4:30 am and tell them I'm leaving?" He shot back, angry that she was acting like he had just committed a murder.
Ziva shook her head, dumbfounded at how selfish her husband had become and bit her lip to keep herself from crying. "I cannot believe that you would not even say anything to him tonight about you leaving early tomorrow morning. He will be devastated." She watched as he shut off the light next to him and laid down, his back towards her. Making her way to the light on her side, she stomped her feet so, he would not be able to sleep just yet and turned off the light. Her body plopped into the bed and she heaved a sigh when she turned facing away from.
For the first night in years, Tony and Ziva slept facing away from each other with not a single body part touching.