Chapter Two

I am selfish. I am weak. I am a murderer.

I repeat it like a mantra.

I still lie on the floor in my father's old study. I still shake and sob, though no tears can escape my eyes any longer. They have long since dried up. My brother still looks at me, though I no longer look at him. I look straight at the floor beside my eyes. I tell myself to get it together. It doesn't work. I am unable to do anything. It's all my fault. I caused it. I repeat it to myself over and over. They wouldn't be gone if it wasn't for me.

I am weak. I am selfish. I am a murderer.

"Sebastian, go and fetch us some tea." Ciel's voice breaks my thoughts.

"Yes, my lord," the butler replies, and leaves the room.

I grow still, feeling as though my arms and legs are made of lead. I can no longer even move them an inch. I do not know how I must look to my brother. I suppose I look pathetic and rightly so.

Images flash in my head of what could have been. I could've walked through the door and seen my parents and my brother's smiling faces and pulled them all into a hug. They would forgive me for abandoning them. I would forget all my past troubles and return to the life I led before. Now I realise how unrealistic it all was. How I could have hoped for, let alone expected something like that is now unimaginable.

If only I had returned earlier. If only I had not left at all.

The images of my parents in my head are starting to fade away. I can no longer hear their voices nor see their smiles. It's odd, because minutes earlier they were as bright as day. Ciel's image is beginning to fade as well. His smiling face has been replaced by the one that now looks at me.

I manage to get into a sitting position. I feel dizzy and my vision is blurring. Eventually it subsides. Time seems to be passing slower than it ever has.

"I'm sorry," I mumble again.

My brother does not seem angry anymore. He looks at me with pity. I realise that this pain is an old thing for him, while the wounds are fresh for me. How must he have felt when it happened? If only I had been there to comfort him. Maybe things wouldn't have been so painful for him. I will now live regretting my actions to the day I die. They are now no longer my top priority; my brother is. I do not know if he'll accept me. I do not know if he will cast me out when I have regained my composure. I'll understand if he does, I am completely deserving of it. Still, I do not want to leave; for I am selfish and want to be with the last remaining family I have. No matter what.

Sebastian returns with a tea trolley. He pours Ciel a cup of tea, and cuts a slice of the cake he has brought.

"Would the young mistress like some tea?" he inquires.

"Pour her a cup, Sebastian," Ciel says for me before I have the chance to say anything. Not that I am in the state to say anything other than 'sorry', though.

Sebastian obeys and I am motioned to sit on a nearby chair. I manage to stand and stumble over, almost tripping over my own feet. I feel like I am walking knee-deep in quicksand, but all that is beneath my feet is flooring.

Sebastian hands me the cup, which I grasp tightly. The liquid ripples as a result of my shaking fingers.

Ciel appears to have stopped questioning me. Maybe he will continue to do so when I am in a right state of mind. I have some questions of my own, but I'll keep them until he asks me.

I try to sip my tea, but instead it results with me dropping the teacup on the floor. It smashes into several pieces, which Sebastian clears up with an almost scary efficiency. I get strange vibes from him, though they are inexpiable. Perhaps if I were not suffering from loss I would be able to figure it out.

"Sorry," I mutter again.

Nobody is angered and Sebastian takes his leave with the tea trolley and broken teacup.

My brother and I do not exchange a word for a good half an hour. He is doing some kind of paperwork while I am focusing on calming myself down. I take deep, shaking breaths and close my eyes. I attempt to focus on nothing but my breathing, but sometimes my mind will stray back. I then immediately distract myself. However, sometimes it is impossible.

Another half hour passes. I continue to breathe. I feel calmer.

Sebastian returns. "Young Master, dinner is ready now."

Ciel nods and gets up from his chair. "Come," he utters to me and I obey, standing up, my legs now feeling more or less stable. I have now got past the point of shock. Perhaps I am beginning to accept it. I know I cannot change the past. I must focus on the future, however hard it may be.

I follow them through to the dining room. Maybe I will be questioned over a meal. Sebastian serves us a dinner of roast beef with horseradish sauce and roasted potatoes. The food, though delicious, I can't seem to swallow. I usually have a big appetite.

Ciel breaks the silence. "Where did you go?" It is nearly a demand.

My voice comes out a hoarse whisper. "Everywhere. So they... so they wouldn't find me," -I pause and try to clear my throat- "This was the last place... I could come to. This is the last place I'm safe."

"You're being chased...?" Ciel asks dubiously.

I nod once and stare straight at my barely touched meal. "I'm being hunted." I try to make my voice as inaudible as possible.

"By whom?"

"By them." I avert my eyes.

"Do you not have questions for me?" my brother asks expectantly.

I do have questions for him, though I don't quite know how to say them. I look at my brother again; the light in here is brighter, so I can better see his face. I notice something I hadn't previously. Covering one of his eyes is a black eyepatch that his hair had been obscuring before.

"Where did you get that?" I ask softly, with a slight gesture to his face.

"Get what?" comes his reply.

"The eyepatch," I mumble. Had he been injured? How? I stop myself before I'm led into a torrent of worry.

He let go of his steak knife and offhandedly touched it. "It's a reminder of a contract I once made."

I do not know what he means; he was being far too vague for my understanding. Should I ask what he means? No, he would not give me a straight answer.

We continue to eat and I manage to swallow a couple of mouthfuls.

"Could you fill me in on everything that's happened these past years?" I ask quietly. I'm not expecting him to agree, but there might be a chance.

"All right," Ciel replies. "Come to my study in a half hour. There isn't enough time to tell you now." He stands up and I notice he's finished his food. That was... a surprise. "Sebastian, I have finished eating," he calls over to the butler who stands near the other end of the table.

"Okay," I say, watching him leave the room. I look at my plate. I doubt I'll eat anymore so I stand up too. Sebastian comes over and begins to clear up the dishes with a the same speed and efficiency as before. I stand there, unknowing of where I am to go next. I feel like a stranger in my own home. Though, is it even my home anymore? I stare blankly at my feet. Hopefully my brother will provide some answers about what has happened. He has been indefinite in his replies, barely answering anything I've asked him. I can sense something has changed with him. He is no longer the brother I knew those years ago, and I can tell it's not solely because of our parents' death... Something has happened to him, and it's something to do with that eyepatch and probably that strange butler. I don't know how it all connects, but there is definitely something off.

"Let me escort you to your room." Sebastian appears behind me.

"Okay..." I mumble, vision still trained on the floor.

I follow him up the stairs and to my old room. When we get inside I immediately notice something wrong, like when I first saw the mansion. Everything looks like my old possessions, exactly in the way I left them, but I can tell they are not mine. They look to be very good replicas, but are missing some bashes and dents that the ones previous had, and some things have slightly differing patterns. My wardrobe is full of clothes, again, replicas. Everything feels strange and alien and definitely like not my room. But, I force a smile for the butler and he excuses himself.

I sit on my bed. Every pillow is positioned exactly as I prefer. Has my brother been waiting for me? Or does he just struggle to let go of the past? Like me.

I fall back onto the mattress, closing my eyes. Thoughts of my parents flood back. Can I even remember their faces now? A single tear rolls down my cheek and I hastily brush it away. I will not succumb to tears again. It makes me feel weak. I am not weak. I repeat this in my head, as if I can make myself believe it. In truth, I am as weak as I always have been. Weakness is cowardice. After all, what is more cowardly than to abandon one's family running from something I am not even entirely sure exists anymore? I am nothing more than a selfish child.

Because of that, I have payed any happiness I may have had in the future. Though, it was even more ignorant for me to expect everything to be exactly as it was when I left when I returned. I feel those thoughts ebbing their way back into my focus.

My parents. Dead. All my fault.

I squeeze my eyes shut and try to think of nothing at all. Often I have wished I could simply bar myself from any thoughts at all, and now more than ever. I lie there like that for the next half hour, willing myself. Distracting myself.

It barely works.

I open my eyes and take glance at the clock on my wall. It is almost time to go and see my brother. I stand up slowly, my knees almost buckling as I put my weight on them. If I had stood any faster, I surely would have fallen over. I stagger the way to my father's - no, Ciel's study and knock on the door thrice.

"Enter," comes his reply.

I obey, taking a seat near the door. He again sits at the writing desk, staring intensely at a chess piece. I don't say anything, unable to bring myself to. I'm usually good enough at talking to people but now I just feel... drained. I manage to force myself to utter a word: "Hello.."

Ciel motions for me to sit on a seat opposite him. I again obey.

"Now, I'll tell you what happened. I promise all this is the truth."

I nod, anxiously anticipating what he will tell me.

"It happened on my tenth birthday," He begins, focusing his stare away from the chess piece and onto me. "Exactly one year and two months after you left. The mansion caught fire. Mother and Father perished and I was... taken... by people."

My eyes widen considerably and I clench my first, knuckles turn white.

"Taken...?" I echo weakly.

"A cult of some sorts... they held numerous children in cages, myself being one of them. I was held there for around a month. And then, Sebastian saved me. I was the only one remaining, the overs having been sacrificed. They would have killed me, had he not stopped them. We escaped and I returned, taking up the title of guard dog, and ever since, have been hunting down our parents' murderers."

I sit there frozen in shock. Many questions flood through my mind. Who were this cult? The butler had saved him? Who exactly is 'Sebastian'? It seems as if he is no ordinary butler. Ciel had said 'murderers'. Does he mean the fire was not - in fact - an accident?

However, these questions are not the the only things that are on my mind. The majority of what I experience is regret. How could I have possibly let my little brother go though all this alone? Hot tears pour from my eyes. I cannot hold back any longer. I cry for the second time this day. I launch myself at Ciel and embrace him tightly. My tears wet his shoulder, but he seemingly does not mind.

"I'm so sorry I left. It's all my fault. What sort of a sister am I letting you go through all this alone?" I sob. God knows what atrocities he has witnessed in all this time. He gingerly puts an arm around me, like he has somehow forgotten how. It is not something I blame him for.

He was much too young to go through such a thing. I am eighteen and the discovery of Mother and Father's deaths has practically broken me, while he was a mere ten and had to go through so much more than just the pain of loss. Things that I myself cannot even comprehend. Thinking of it pains me too much, and likewise scares me. My mind drifts to the butler, Sebastian. He saved Ciel from an imminent death and despite not knowing him at all, all I can feel for him is gratitude. I feel indebted to him. I swear to myself I will tell him this, and will do everything in my power to pay him back.

My brother was very vague and brisk about the details, and I suspect there is much he has not told me. I do not want to push anything out of him though. Hopefully he will open up more with due time.

There is the other matter of the way he worded the last part of his story: 'hunting down our parents' murderers'. 'Murderers' would mean that he thinks that they in fact did not die accidentally, which frightens, and likewise angers me greatly. The former part insinuates that he is headed down the path of revenge. For that I cannot, in all honesty, blame him.

I never was a vengeful person in the past but now I do not know anymore. I have never known something so awful to consider revenge, but that was before. Now the thought of making someone who took so much from me suffer sounds almost appealing.

All I have known these years is running. The feeling of being hunted. Now, those feelings have taken the backseat in my mind. Though, I still know they are hiding, and will once again begin to taunt me. I push these thoughts from my mind. They cannot take over at this moment.

My mind drifts back to the last matter. Ciel has become the Queen's Watchdog. A job of that sorts is not befitting of a mere child. I was mostly in the dark about my father's work for the whole time before I left, but I know the basics of what happens and it is not what I would like to see my young brother doing. Though I do not doubt that he would refuse if I were to try to persuade him to give it up or even give it to me, the second and only other eligible heir. Perhaps it should be my duty to assist him in his work, therefore I can protect him. Unless they come. Then, I may have to run again.

No- I immediately turn my thoughts away. How could I even consider leaving once again? I will not leave so long as my brother lives. I will stay by his side no matter what. That is the meaning of family, after all. I will defend us both from them. No longer will I be afraid. No longer will I constantly run away.

I realise I still have my arms wrapped around Ciel. I have stopped crying, but my cheeks are still wet. "I'm.. sorry," I whisper.

"It's alright," Ciel replies quietly. It is the first time he has acknowledged my apology.

I remove my arms from around him and sit on the closest chair. "I really must thank your butler for all he has done." I try to make my voice sound light, but it only comes out as shaky.

"Anastasia." My brother says my name for the first time in years. It sounds almost alien on his tongue. "I don't blame you for mother and father's deaths. Who I blame are the people who killed them."

"You... think someone killed them?" I clarify.

"I know it." His voice is determined.

"Then... I'd like to help you find whoever it is," I reply. My voice still wavers slightly, but I have nearly regained composure.

Ciel's visible eye flashes. He looks as if he does not know what to say. "You want to follow me on my path of revenge?"

I nod, a new fire filling me. "Yes. I do."

-Third person-

Sebastian stands behind the door, listening into the two siblings' conversation. A smirk crosses his face. "Well, well. Isn't this an interesting development...?"

After all, two souls are most certainly better than one.

AN: Hello! Firstly, thank you all so much for the reviews on the first chapter! Hopefully you enjoyed this one too !

Also, I'm always open to suggestions for this story, and any help etc would be appreciated! Also, yes, the first two chapters have been mostly family drama but you can't do a 'Ciel has a sister' fanfic without all the family stuff, because otherwise it would be unrealistic, in my opinion.

Also, what do you think of Anastasia's deceleration about helping Ciel in his path to revenge? And Sebastian's thoughts on it? How do you imagine it will change the upcoming 'canon' story line? I'm around 99% sure I will follow the manga plot but, as I said before, I'm open for suggestions. I imagine the romance will be slow building but I promise you it will happen! Ana is already showing some interest in Sebastian of some kind... Next chapter may have some stuff with other kuro characters but maybe will have more of the same stuff that's taken up this whole chapter. I promise you this is most of it though.

Anyway, until next time! (chapter 3 will be up asap)

P.S Reviews are ALWAYS appreciated and if you give me them chapter 3 will definitely come quicker as I'll get motivated!