Disclaimer: I don't own Deathnote, if I did the second opening theme song would have been different...Did anybody even like that?

Mello's Pov:

"Hey" He shifted awkwardly, while I didn't respond and instead just stared at him. My left hand was gripping the door handle, a clear sign of the emotions going through me right then, as I was holding it like it was stopping me from hitting something.

It was.

Seconds passed slowly, me not wanting to say anything and him almost looking regretful. He should, he just left, he just left me to think he hates me, and then he came back. Maybe he even does truly hate me, I didn't know what was going through those once so easily readable green eyes.

"Are you uh, going to say anything Mells?" He mumbled, setting down the controller and looking up at me. The air was tense, I hardly wanted to deal with this, I was just angry, and I couldn't control the feeling in the least. I was angry at Matt, more than I had ever been in my life, and I was angry because he just left me when I needed him, and he knew it.

when I didn't respond, and only glared at him he seemed to shrink in on himself, and with anybody else I would have smirked. He should be scared, I was so mad at him, but then, I wanted everything to be back to normal, for my best friend to be laughing with me as we played his video games.

"Mells?" He questioned again, looking concerned as his shoulders stayed tense.

"No"

"What?" He blinked in confusion.

I let go of my grip on the door handle as I walked into the room, my hands balled into fists as I refrained from my emotions.

"No Matt, you just left, you left and didn't come back for three fucking days. Without contacting us at all" I grit out, knowing that he knew exactly what I was talking about.

He stared at me, his expression filled with an array of emotions, and his eyes watering slightly, though he seemed to be refusing to cry.

"I'm sorry Mells, I didn't mean it, any-"

"Shut up" I snapped coldly, causing him to close he mouth immediately. I was trying to keep my composure as I stood over him, but it wasn't easy. I wanted to hug him for coming back, I wanted to run away and never look at his face again, and I wanted to beat him up for everything. And below all of that even, I wanted to hit myself, for being so damn stupid.

The facts kept running through my head, why I should even be so mad at him, but I just couldn't think. I just knew I was pissed, and that I felt like ripping apart this room, that was it.

"Mello?" His voice was shaking slightly, from him holding back his tears, I knew, because my anger could never faze him, no matter what. "I'm sorry"

"What are you saying sorry for then, huh?" I was choking up slightly "For ditching me when you obviously knew I needed my friend? For letting me think that you hate me? For letting me worry so much that you were sleeping on the streets? For.." I didn't want to say the next words so I stopped, though Matt understood. I loved that about him, he always seemed to understand...to bad he didn't three nights ago.

"I'm sorry, I can't say much. I was shocked, and then I felt embarrassed for leaving-"

"Matt" I snapped again, shutting him up promptly "You know what your saying is irrelevant, its not gonna help a damn thing. You can't feel that way about me, and I don't fucking care if your disgusted, I'm just fucking pissed at you"

"I-" He stopped, shuffling in his blankets until he stood up, facing me levely. "I can't, your right about me not caring for you like that, I don't think I can" His voice sounded painfully uncertain, and it hurt so much, "But I'm not disgusted, and I'm sorry I ran off, I know what I did was irrational"

I stared at him, processing what he just said, but I knew this was ruining things here. I wasn't going to get over this and...

I sighed, loosening up a little. At least he wasn't angry at me, he just overreacted, classic Matt...classic me, for overreacting as well.

"Mells?" He questioned after a second, clearly wondering what was going through my head right now.

A short pause after my nickname, and I spoke again. "Can we just forget this?" I suggested, earning a small smile from Matt, I didn't see any reason for a smile, I felt terrible.

"Yea" He spoke softly, in a tone of voice that I loved and hated at the same time, before moving in for a tentative hug, though I stopped it with a hand to his chest. His green eyes clouded with confusion, and I shook my head.

"Just leave me alone" I muttered, before turning around and walking out of the room, Matt didn't respond, just stared at my back as I walked out of the area and shut the door in the hallway.

I didn't want to talk to him, I just wanted to walk away and sink into a place where I didn't need to think about this. These feelings wouldn't go away, they would be there for a long time, and I just screwed myself over, because I told him to just forget this, but I didn't think I could forget.

Matt's Pov:

School sucks, mainly when you spend three days away from your studies, and have to catch up on your work while most everyone else is out. But the fact that me and Mello hadn't seemed to resolve anything made it worse, because I couldn't, for all my genius, seem to focus. Mello etched our initials on my locker too, which made me feel even more guilty for what I put him through. I didn't even know why he did that, was it for superficial reasons, or for his own sanity?

I came back two days ago, and when he said to just forget it I thought everything was going to be forgiven. But of course it wasn't going to be like that, because he has hardly spoken to me, and I was no better. We avoided each other at school, and at home we didn't talk.

L and Light's glances didn't help either, they knew we were being idiots, I knew it, but it didn't help. Mello was pushing me away, and I was upset, so I pushed him away in return. Even though I wanted to just hug him and lay in bed next to him at night.

Today was a familiar scene, with me laying on my stomach on my bed trying to do homework, and Mello leaned up against his bed frame across the room doing his own. Textbooks littered his floor, while mine where neatly snacked around me. Mostly because I took my work a lot more lightly than him.

I was frustrated, just because he told me and I overreacted, we were sent into what seemed to be a permanent awkwardness.

My gaze was on Mello instead of my textbooks for a long moment, as I felt more content to just observe him. Doing my homework was stressing me out, watching Mello calmed me. Even if we weren't on exactly friendly terms right now.

At the moment he was focused on a psychology book, intently reading it as he copied down notes on a notebook that rested beside him. His hair was falling in his face, surely blurring his vision, but he didn't bother to remove it. He was dressed in his usual attire, leather skinny jeans and a black sweater that hugged his frame tightly. I never understood how he found that comfortable, even if I had a skinny frame like him I would feel too revealed. He looked good in it though, he didn't have to force the style on himself, it was just natural.

I, on the other hand had a hard time with any styles. I wore a striped shirt, jeans, boots and a vest. I liked it, though if you asked me, it was bland, unlike Mello's leather. I guess I had my goggles though, they made the outfit unique.

The point was, that Mello was pretty and I was bland. He had those pure ice blue eyes and flaxen blond hair, while I had messy off red hair and brown-green eyes. He had the heart shaped face, I had the round one...

Suddenly I noticed blue eyes turned to me, and I didn't even notice that our gazes were locked for a long moment until he snapped at me, bringing me out of my inward ramblings.

"What do you want?" I flinched back at his harsh tone, but only turned my head back to my books.

"Nothing" I mumbled under my breath, and pointedly ignored him when he gave out a huff and stood up, before proceeding to walk out of the room.

Mello's Pov:

What the hell was that?

He was just staring at me, for almost a good twenty minutes and I couldn't focus. I was writing down things in my notebook, but I was just copying, I couldn't focus on anything that I was putting down. Then when I looked up to snap at him, I just stopped.

He looked to distant, like he was staring at me, but staring at nothing at the same time. I don't think he even noticed until I snapped at him, and I hardly did either when I myself snapped out of it.

Damn him, that was so typical of me. Staring into his eyes like that, they are just so pretty, I love staring at them. But not like that, I like to be in control, that was nowhere near control. I didn't even know how long that was, I just knew that it was awhile, and neither of us noticed.

Until I did, maybe I should have just stayed quiet...

I shook my head, ridding myself of those thoughts. I was being stupid, I couldn't indulge myself like that again, or think about it. Matt was a friend, and he didn't like me that way, so I needed to just forget it, as hard as that is.

It is really hard, because I love him.

I didn't really notice that I was downstairs until I spotted Light, I think it processed in the back of my head somewhere, but not enough for me to acknowledge it. Nontheless I was now standing awkwardly at the foot of the stairs, facing the boot room where L and Light were putting on their jackets.

I didn't really want to see them, I kinda wanted to sneak back up the stairs, but that would be wimping out. So I just stood there, rather dumbly until Light noticed me, raising his honey colored eyes to where I was standing.

"Hello Mello" He greeted, catching L's attention at the same time as he raised his gaze to me and nodded in acknowledgement.

"Hi" I mumbled, but didn't make to move, Light seemed to take this as me silently asking where they were going, which was only half true.

"Me and L are meeting up with Misa and Taki, would you like to come?" He questioned, but I most certainly didn't. I shook my head.

"No, don't feel like it" I told them as I finally found myself walking down the hall towards the living room, but I was stopped when L spoke.

"Are you sure Mello?"

I turned my head to look over my shoulder, "Yea" and with that I continued into the living room, before flopping down on the couch and turning on the tv. As I heard the front door shut I briefly wondered if maybe I should have gone, but in the end I decided I did not. Misa was annoying, Takada was too...Takada, and I would probably just end up sitting outside being gloomy.

Light's Pov:

I almost find it funny how, even when Matt and Mello were fighting, they always seemed to stay close. Last night before me and L went to Ginza with Maki and Misa, they were both up in their room studying for over three hours. And even now they are both sitting on the living room couch, Mello reading and Matt playing games on his Psp. Though both of them stayed on opposite ends, leaving an apt amount of space between them as they leaned against the armrests.

It was clear how upset they were at each other, even if L hadn't told me about the situation before, I would have been able to tell. They definitely didn't bother hiding it.

I had to say, it was quite coincidental though. That they would be going through this, when I am at the same time. Just for me I wouldn't dare let anything happen. L was a good friend, and I wasn't going to make it anything more, even if he somehow wanted to.

I knew L had a hunch, that one day that I had when I wasn't feeling to great he seemed to have figured it out. But he still didn't know for sure, and that was good. It should stay that way, not because I didn't want the relationship, I did, but I didn't want everything it came with.

people like to talk, they like their opinions, and I prefer to keep their opinions about me pleasant.

I was being smart about this, and I wasn't letting anyone know. I had felt this way for four years and hid it, and I would continue doing just that.

"Is something the matter Light?"

I turned my head from Matt and Mello to look at L inquiringly, "Yes, why?"

"You've been staring at those two for quite some time" He supplied as he took a slurp from his cup of coffee.

'Not coffee, sludge' I corrected mentally, as I responded, "I'm fine, just thinking about them" I offered, earning a knowing look from L, he seemed to have figured I was telling the truth.

"They are quite the case, aren't they" It came out as more of a statement then a question of course. That was just L, he never asked questions that he didn't already know the answers to.

"Yea, I was just thinking, even though they are fighting they seem to always hang around each other"

This earned a nod from L, "Indeed, me and Beyond used to be like that to a point"

I nodded in acknowledgement. I had almost forgotten that L and Beyond used to be best friends, it was a short time, I remember L telling me. When they were little they just stuck to each other, as they were so alike mentally, but when they turned eleven they drifted apart. It was an odd picture, when they first came here Beyond always got mad at L, in fact he couldn't stand him, and even now they pick on each other quite often, that or they just don't pay each other any mind. Sometimes they get along together though, more so now then before.

"Matt" Mello's snap brought both I and L's attention the the living groom, where the blond was now glaring at Matt, as the younger teen looked embarrassed.

"Sorry, there's not much room on the couch" Matt mumbled, pulling himself into a ball on the cushion. "You didn't need to shout though" He said as he glanced over at L and I, "All I did was touch you" he added, obviously informing us.

"Whatever" Mello then huffed, as he sat up and went back to his book. Matt only shook his head lightly, clearly upset as he to went back to his game.

L and I stayed silent for a moment, before I spoke up, looking back at him "Should we talk to them?" I asked him, already forming an idea in my head. Nobody was really home today, besides Near, so if they got into a fight it wouldn't disrupt everybody.

L paused, thinking for a few seconds before he nodded and stood up. "Separately though" He told me as we walked the few steps into the living room. Mello and Matt both looked up as we came up to the couch, though Mello more grumpily glared up at us from behind his book cover.

"Mello, can I talk to you?" L asked, placing a hand on Mello's book and pushing it down in his grasp. Mello looked like he was going to refuse, but obviously thought better of it when he caught L's stern expression.

"Fine" He huffed, setting his book down and standing to follow L upstairs. I waited untill they were both out of sight before I turned to Matt and made my way around the couch, sitting down where Mello just was. Matt continued playing his game, though when I cleared my throat he seemed to have gotten the hint and put it down, looking at me inquiringly.

"Yea?"

I sighed "You and Mello need to fix things"

At that he huffed, turning his gaze away from me. "I know" It was spoken softly, unlike Mello's snarky tone. I didn't know quite what to say, I wasn't used to giving people I cared for advice. Polite company, other students, people that I wasn't responsible for, so I just went for it. Straight to the point.

"Do you like him?"

He stiffened at that, and I knew he was unsure about his feelings for Mello. Or maybe at the least, he doesn't want to ruin their friendship for a relationship. He swallowed thickly, before looking down at his lap. We stayed quiet for a moment, until Matt decided to speak up.

"I guess I don't know, I just..." He paused, obviously thinking hard, "How do you know if you really do like someone that way?" he then asked.

The question was difficult to answer, and the answer was different all the time for me, but I could give him my best opinion. "I think" I paused, collecting my thoughts and deciding the best way to word it, "That at the least, if you don't know that nothings there, there is more than something"

"Hmm" He sounded, looking no more sure of himself, I thought he was just going to stay silent, and I was going to have to pry some more, but then he spoke up again. "I think I like Mello, romantically" He took a deep breath, probably uneasy with saying it aloud, "But I don't want to make a mistake...If I actually don't"

"Then you two need to talk, calmly, no storming out on each other" Matt did have his priorities, that was a sure thing, and this was the best I could do for him, he needed to do the rest.

He nodded, "thanks I guess"

"You're welcome" I told him, before looking up towards the stairs "Mello will probably be down in awhile depending on what L can say, talk then alright?"

Matt nodded and picked up his game again, I took that as a sign to leave, and stood up from the couch to go upstairs. L and I could stay up there while they talk, granted, if they do.

Matt's Pov:

My mind was racing after Light left. What he said only reinforced what I had been thinking for most of today, that there is something that I do feel for Mello. I was just scared of what would happen, and if I was wrong. But essentially Light was right, I needed to talk to Mello.

So I waited, my guts churning terribly as I anticipated what I would tell him, I didn't even know what I would say. I knew what was in my head, but it most certainly wouldn't come out the same. Hopefully it would still work out though.

It was only a few minutes before Mello came back downstairs, though my back was turned to him as he stood still in the hallway. I didn't really know what I was doing, maybe this wasn't such a good idea. But after a few seconds, I swallowed nervously and turned my head to look at him.

Subdued was the best description of how he looked right then, along with solemn, whatever L had talked to him about made some impact on him at least.

"Can I come in?" He asked, surprising me a little bit, I didn't expect him to speak up first.

"Of course" I offered, and at that he made his way over to me and sat down in his previous seat. A few seconds passed in silence, as we just stared anywhere but at each other. It was Mello who spoke first once again.

"I think I should tell you what's going through my head"

I nodded, and at that he took a deep breath. "Okay, so" He sounded nervous, so much unlike Mello "I really like you, a little bit since before we arrived here is when I started to really realize it, and it just escalated from there"

I nodded, "I kinda gathered"

"Yea" He agreed, then looked up at me while he continued, "So I don't really know what to do, it just feels terrible, you can't feel that way about me, and I can't be just a friend around you for the rest of my life"

At those words I smiled a little, though it dropped just as soon as it appeared. Mello wants to be friends for the rest of our lives, but he can't be friends when he feels this way. It is such a mess. Can I reciprocate these feelings though? Because that would fix everything if I could.

"Mello" I started, making sure his attention was on me completely as I spoke. "I do have some feeling's for you, I think" I offered, and his expression turned confused.

"You think?"

I nodded, "But I'm not sure, I don't want it to ruin our friendship if I'm wrong, and honestly...I think I might be" I cringed as I said that, and Mello scowled. It wasn't the truth, I realized that as the words came out, but I couldn't take them back, so I stayed quiet, staring at my lap now.

"I don't understand" He said eventually, and I shrugged tensely.

"Me neither"

"What makes you think that you don't have any feelings for me at all?" He then demanded, and I could easily tell from his voice, that he was getting frustrated.

"I-" I had dug myself into a hole, I didn't have a reason, there was doubt, but that wasn't one and I just lied to him. Over the last two days I had thought about me and Mello, and I realized yesterday that I do, if only slightly. Technically I could do it, I could be with Mello, once I thought about it in a different light than I was, it seemed inviting actually. But how do I tell him that? Along with the fact that I don't know, and I already said that I don't...

"What Matt? Tell me" His gaze was begging almost, he really wanted me to say something that would make everything better. But I froze up, I didn't know what to say, everything was still so hazy for me.

After I stayed completely quiet for a while longer he put his arms on my shoulders, causing me to raise my head. He looked absolutely desperate, and I was sure I did to. I wanted to tell him I could do it, that I wanted to. but that wasn't what came out of my mouth.

"I can't"

I immediately regretted the words, as, as soon as I said them Mello withdrew his hands. From this close I could see his eyes watering, but I couldn't read the rest of his expression before he roughly pushed himself away from me and rushed upstairs. I could guess it anyways, disappointment, confusion, anger, hopelessness, I was feeling similar emotions as I sat there and listened to his footsteps, followed by the loud slam of our bedroom door.

I really fucked up. Why did I say that?

L's Pov:

As I had expected, Light was in our bedroom when I opened our door. Him probably having not to had to talk to Matt near as much, Matt was calmer when it came to emotions, whereas Mello had a very difficult time. As portrayed in his bedroom a few moments ago.

"Hey" He greeted me without removing his gaze from his laptop, though he did take his hands away from the keyboard.

"How did it go with Matt?" I asked him as I made my way to our shared desk and computer, it seemed Light had left it for me, probably knowing I had a few things to do on it.

"Fine, he was quite compliant with what I told him" He said as he typed something into his computer, before he shut the lid and sat up, "Calmer" he added, earning a nod from me as I took a seat at the desk, facing him.

"He is" I agreed, "Mello is not" I joked.

"Yea, hey can you pass me those books?" He asked, pointing behind me, I nodded and spun the chair, grabbing the books before idly spinning back and handing them to him.

"Thanks" He told me, before he set about going through them for whatever information he needed.

"You're welcome" I replied, before I myself went back to the computer and started it up. "Hey Light?" I questioned after a few seconds, though I didn't look back at him. I was fairly certain that he had feelings for me, and once again I was just prying. And I would do so until he told me.

"Yea?"

"What do you think of Mello's feelings for Matt?"

"What do you mean?" He asked, confusion evident in his tone.

I spun in my chair to face him again, meeting his honey amber eyes. I liked his eyes, they were quite unusual, and certainly beautiful. "I mean, do you think that it's serious?"

Light paused, looking thoughtful for a moment. "I guess, I mean, it probably is serious. Those two have been friends since childhood from my understanding" He offered, "Why?"

"No reason, I was just curious to hear your thoughts" With that explanation I spun back around to the computer, now booted up, and clicked into an English paper that I had to finish before Monday.

"Alright then" He replied, though he didn't sound like he believed me.

I dismissed him as I started on the assignment, though I wasn't focusing to much, I was wondering about Light. I knew him, and he knew I knew him, so naturally I was certain in my deductions. But I still didn't know why I wanted to know so badly, surely it was just my curious nature, my want to know everything around me, but..

What would I do when he tells me the truth? I didn't know, I still didn't, even if I have had plenty of time to think about it, it was no less confusing. To a point, I understood where Matt was coming from, though it seemed like he was put into the situation to quickly. I would have to be careful, there was a chance I would end up like that if I wasn't careful.

"Light?" I was still going through with it, even though I was terrifyingly uncertain about it.

"What now?"

"Do you have feelings for me?"

I heard a pause and then the closing of a book, "L"

Sighing lightly, I turned around in my chair to be met with Light's irritated gaze.

"Yes?"

"Why are you asking me that again?"

"I was simply curious-" I started, only to be cut of by Light's frustrated voice.

"No L, now stop asking me that question, I don't know why your doing it, but stop" He snapped, while he continued glaring at me, eyes narrowed and lips pursed.

I opened my mouth, about to respond, but then the sound of footsteps and a door slamming distracted me, as both I and Light turned to look in the direction of the noise. We paused for a moment to listen, and then heard the sound of footsteps again. Faintly Matt's voice could be heard, along with Mello's even fainter one, but it was almost inaudible.

"They seemed to have gotten into another fight" I noted, earning a nod from Light.

"Should we go check on them?"

I shook my head, "Probably not-" Though I didn't say anymore when I could hear Matt's footsteps come up to our door, followed by a knock.

"Guys?"

"Come in" Light said, and on the signal Matt opened the door.

"Mello locked himself in his room, I..." He paused, taking a deep breath to regain his composure, "I don't think he's going to come out for awhile"

Authors note: hey guys! I hope you enjoyed, Mello and Matt are being idiots, and L and Light are really unprepared for their emotions it seems :( Next chapter some stuff will happen with Near and Beyond, but you'll have to wait to find out what it is of course ^^

Also, I looked at the stats and it looks like about 23 people have been reading quite steadily. I just wanting to throw a great big 'Thank you!' at you guys, I hope you have been enjoying this story as much as I have :)