After discussing it with her boyfriend, and thinking about it for a little longer than she should've, Haruka decided she'd tell Shining about her decision when her deadline came along. Said choice contributed to her new-found tranquil state of mind.

Being certain felt nice, but there was still doubt in her heart, almost like a shadow blocking out her positivity just as she felt okay again. Sometimes that shadow had a face, a body, and its own identity: Satsuki. Her two confrontations with him had left a sour taste in her mouth, and with it came the nightmares.

Haruka had crossed paths with Natsuki in the hallway plenty of times before, and now things were back to normal, except they weren't. She'd even been attacked by Satsuki before, but these couple of times felt completely different. Now, when she met the tall dork in the hallway she had to repress the urge to run, and to scream. He acted like he used to, like he didn't remember anything that had happened between them, and she believed that was the case, but it still scared her.

On Wednesday, Syo told her that for some reason Natsuki no longer changed when he took off his glasses, and that should've brought her calm, but all it did was make her worry.

She felt prompted to tell someone about what had happened with Satsuki, but she refrained from doing it because she felt at fault. Every time she wanted to tell her boyfriend or someone else about it, guilt would come along, and she wouldn't do it. Haruka remembered his face when he broke down, before she hugged him, and she would think she deserved to feel dirty, even wrong. So she kept it all in. She had made her peace with her approaching deadline, and thought that was enough. But it only got worse from there.

Haruka woke up screaming on Thursday. She felt sick, and ran to the bathroom, but her stomach was empty; she had skipped dinner because she felt exactly as she did now.

"What's wrong with me?" She murmured. Her body was shaking, and she felt too weak to get up so she curled up right by her toilet and wished for the pain to go away. Not too long after, she fell asleep right there.

When she woke up again, she was on her bed. And for a split second she felt better, but adrenaline blinded her as she remembered where she last was. Haruka sat up, and ran towards the door. She started screaming and banging on it with her fists without even checking if it was locked or not. It was just like every other nightmare.

"Get me out!" She yelled.

Otoya heard her voice as he was walking back towards her room with some impromptu lunch, and dropped it all to aid her fast. But when he opened the door, she just kept knocking, though only now she was hitting on his chest.

"Ouch! Hey, cut it out!"

It was only when he leaned down to meet her eyes with his that she stopped. And then, she fell down to the floor, shaking and whimpering, trying to calm down.

"Haruka, what happened? Are you okay?"

By then, she had no option, no other desire than to tell him the truth, and so she did it. She told him what happened with Satsuki the second time. She told him how she felt about both encounters, the conclusions she'd arrived to, and he listened. He focused his wholehearted attention on her. Otoya held her hand as she spoke, gently rubbing it to show he was there. And, whether he agreed with her or not: he stayed quiet throughout the whole thing, only humming or nodding to encourage her to continue.

When she finished, the silence filled the space between them as he drank all of that in. And finally, he found the right words to say to her.

"You should never feel guilty about something that was done to you, especially something like this" He took a deep breath, and continued: "Satsuki is the only one to blame here, none of it is your fault, Haruka" She moved to argue then, and he stopped her as he continued. "I can't say I know how you feel because I've never been in that position before, but I can tell you for sure you did nothing wrong. You even comforted him? My God, you're amazing"

The sudden compliment made her blush, and she looked down at his hand still holding hers.

"I should've told you before" She then said.

"Maybe, but you did now. And," He looked around nervously as he thought carefully what to say to her. "We need to talk to one of the senpais, or a teacher, even Shining could work"

"What? Why?"

Otoya looked at her sadly, then. Or was it pity that she could see?

"Because: you're not okay. You were in some kind of crazed state right before I got here, banging on the door and screaming. I'm not a psychologist, but I don't think what you're feeling is going to go away on its own just because we talked about it"

She couldn't argue with that logic, so she stayed quiet. Haruka wanted to feel better, she wanted help, but the little voice in her head was there again, telling her she was exaggerating, that it was nothing. And she felt tempted to believe it, but she knew Otoya was right: she needed help.

Right after that, they went to Ringo. Otoya explained him the situation, and so he walked them towards the psychiatrist assigned to assist Starish. They didn't even know they had one.

Her boyfriend couldn't be with her there, but the doctor seemed like such a sweet lady that Haruka assured him it would be alright.

And so they talked about what had happened, and yet again she retold the story and her feelings about it.

The doctor told the worried composer that what she was experiencing was completely normal. It was her mind's response to trauma, and it would take her loved ones' support and a respectable amount of self-caring to feel better.

"When you feel ready, I'd like for you and Natsuki to have a conversation here" The doctor said. She agreed to it, but the truth was she never wanted that day to come.

~h~o~~h~o~~h~o~~h~o~~h~o~~h~o~~h~o~~h~o~~h~o~~h~o~~h~o~

Despite everything that happened, time wasn't going to stop. And so when Saturday came along, Haruka felt completely unprepared to face her boss.

Otoya and her had already planned everything out so there couldn't be anything to worry about, right? False: she started worrying about every little thing, and putting that stress on top of her -still pressing- Satsuki-related anxiety was bad to say the least. But she didn't feel helpless. Otoya was by her side every step of the way, and focusing on that made her feel somewhat at ease.

It was almost funny how for a moment she thought Shining would still allow them to be together regardless of her not meeting his expectations. He seemed so calm and serene when she told her she couldn't do it. Perhaps he'd heard of what had happened to her that week, or decided one of those songs she wrote that month was actually pretty good. Or maybe he just decided to do his son a favor.

But then his façade slipped away and he told them that from that day on: they were no longer a couple.

Hope was indeed a powerful weapon. One that, when ripped from them, caused it all to freeze. Almost as if time stopped, they stared at him while their hearts skipped a beat and their breaths caught in their throats.

It was over.

A/N: So... I know what you must be thinking: didn't she say she wasn't going to drop this story and all that? Well, that remains to be true lmao I just took a million years. I wanted to post a longer chapter since I haven't updated this fic since november, but uuuh... At least there's this.