If only she'd known she'd have to spend a whole day alone with just one idol before the fact, perhaps she would've been able to prepare herself. Yet, as she leaned against a wall outside the recording booth, all she could do was take deep breaths as she thought back on her last sessions with the psychiatrist.
It had been a month already since her relationship with Otoya had been forcefully terminated. Thirty days since visiting a doctor had become a habit for her again. Still, it wasn't as bad as she thought it'd be. After all, it seemed as if the entirety of Starish had arranged themselves to avoid her from meeting Natsuki on her own. And, honestly, she wouldn't have noticed that was the case if Tomochika hadn't pointed it out in her last visit.
Not that she wanted to avoid the blond dork; she had no qualms in meeting him with the rest of the group. In fact, she didn't know how well she'd be able to handle an encounter on her own. But she'd come a long way already and she didn't want to go back on her whole process. The nightmares had already stopped, but the crushing fear always managed to come back to her.
The fact that there was no red haired boy holding her through the night anymore also influenced it all. Going back to being friends with him had been difficult, especially because he refused to stop seeing her that way, but it had to be done.
If it were for Otoya, they would've continued dating in secret, away from absolutely everyone. Yet, when she pointed out how hard that had been in the first place, considering they all lived together, he had no choice but to give up. Never had she seen him as shaken as when she said no, then.
Through it all, time had passed. And now, on a not-so-special day, Haruka had a small break as she waited to continue her work.
She couldn't tell how long she allowed herself to linger on her thoughts, to try and process what had happened in peaceful silence, but before she knew it, the door next to her opened up.
Soft brown eyes belonging to the man that had just come out deeply focused on her. "How are you holding up, Kouhai-chan?" The idol asked in a calm tone.
Working for Quartet Night still felt a little strange for her, especially when they recorded solo songs, but it was wonderful still. And, ever since she'd met them after certain events, they'd been especially careful around her.
The sole fact that Shining had been assigning her more work with the four men group than with Starish, for the last four weeks, did feel a little strange to the composer, but she couldn't argue otherwise. It wasn't as if she didn't want to work with them, after all. But she did miss her boys.
In response to his question, she shook her head trying to push his worries away. "I'm okay."
As certain as she intended to express her statement, the words fell flat on the other's ears. Kotobuki Reiji wasn't one to be fooled by fake smiles and empty words, he knew those too well himself.
So, he walked closer to her; something that took him a mere couple of steps. Then, he put his hands on either side of the wall next to her, and leaned closer. She had already closed her eyes when his forehead pressed against hers. "Tell me if you need to rest, I'll deal with everything else. Take the day off if you need to." His tone came out as somewhat of a breath, his tender voice caressing her skin.
Again, as Haruka opened her eyes to meet his, she found herself unable to do anything but gather up her strength. "I'd prefer to keep working," She said, trying to focus on the features far too close to her. "Keeping myself occupied really helps me, Kotobuki-senpai."
At her words, he leaned away, staring at her as if he analyzed the veracity of her words. Ultimately, he couldn't do much but nod his head in agreement, and have her promise to speak up if there was something she needed.
The day progressed as many had for the last month: filled with silence and worried glances. It only varied when Reiji dropped her off at the dormitories, when she and her superior met up with a certain boy that had been plaguing her thoughts. Perhaps it was more in his body language, in his expression, that she was able to recognize him from afar.
She and the brunet had gotten back to the huge building for the sole purpose of getting their hands on some things she'd forgotten on her hurry to leave that morning; music sheets and CDs were mortally necessary for the rest of the day's plans.
Yet, as green eyes locked with red, her legs felt impossibly weak. Would she really be able to reach her room? The answer to the question swiftly made itself present as the idol she'd been escorting placed a hand on her shoulder. Without any type of hesitation, she looked up to find the most serious expression she'd ever seen Reiji display. It was almost as if she could read his mind, then. He'd successfully diverted her attention back to him, to have her keep going without losing her focus or her footing.
Still, the fact that she'd seem to be getting lost in the other's eyes by an outsider's perspective only engraved the situation. It was only seconds later that loud footsteps signalized the fact that someone was running towards them. But the eldest idol was quick enough to turn his head in the direction of the noise before Haruka could even process what she heard.
His expression was hard and cold as he found his protégé right by them. So, knowing what was going on, he pulled the composer closer to him, forbidding her from seeing the other from up close. It was the finality of Reiji's expression the one that froze the younger boy in his place.
Only when he saw the other stop, was it that the brunet put the cheerful mask back on. "Oh, Otoyan~" He said in a sing-a-song tone. A certain girl's shoulder tensing up under his touch didn't go unnoticed as he mentioned the nickname. "Kouhai-chan and I came to gather some things. We can catch up, later!" He continued, ever so happily.
As the man pushed the pink haired girl in the direction of the girls' dormitories, he couldn't help but find himself sad at the whole situation. Otoya had been speechless through it all and, honestly, the expression on his face had leaded him to believe that keeping Haruka from seeing him had been a good choice. To see such defeated, broken eyes had made him feel a little weak. Almost like a puppy that had been kicked, the red haired boy being sad was something no one would want to witness.
Yet, as Reiji lost himself thinking over the small confrontation, he was unable to see the little glance the composer had with the other boy. It might've lasted less than a second, but from the distance that had been created between them again, she saw him standing there.
A voice inside her head told her she should've argued against her superior, told him that she wanted to see her friend, but the truth was she felt a little thankful for the protection. In reality, she hadn't really been alone with Otoya either for a very long time. Texts and phone calls weren't rare, but they usually revolved around work, around Starish.
Still, as they reached the door to her room, she heard a familiar voice speak. "I hope that was okay." Reiji said, hesitant.
She turned to look at him, then, and found him visibly shaken. She could only imagine what she would've felt if she'd actually seen Otoya herself from that distance. It was already hard enough to keep on going after finding him there.
So she nodded at the other, keeping her head down before responding. "It was," Her tone was soft and low, but he was close enough to hear her or, at least, she hoped so. "Thank you."
Before he finally turned the handle on the door, he took one last look at her and patted her head. "Of course; I'm not gonna let my favorite Kouhai break down over an ex-boyfriend."
As much as the word made her flinch, she truly appreciated his intentions. She didn't know what would've happened if Reiji hadn't been there for her.
When he opened up, she rushed inside, packed what she needed and, in the blink of an eye, was right outside once more. He had to give it to her; she was a really hardworking girl, no matter the situation.
On their way to Reiji's car, another unpredicted encounter occurred. This time around, it didn't require any type of intervention, but the effect it had on Haruka was thousands of times worse than the earlier one.
A certain bespectacled boy was making his way inside just as they crossed the gates to leave. The moment he spotted them, was the moment he raised his hands to greet them. "Haru-chan! Rei-chan-senpai!" He exclaimed as he nodded in their direction.
Fast as he was, the eldest idol caught on and replied instantly. "Natssun!" He nodded back at the other. "Good evening," Seamlessly, he then tilted his head in the direction of his small Beatle, signalizing that they were about to leave.
The other boy, of course, took the hint easily. Yet, he looked down at the composer before doing so, expecting some sort of response from her. At the pressing silence, the poor girl could do nothing but give a small bow to the blond.
That whole set of circumstances lead to a loud sigh escaping her lips right after she buckled her seatbelt. It was, perhaps, also the reason why the brunet found himself unable to start up the engine for the minutes he spent laughing. Her relief had been so palpable that it'd been hilarious to him. But his laughter had been enough to have her face go red in embarrassment; she could do nothing but pout and wait for him to drive.