Christian's POV

The last 24 hours have been quite frankly some of the most confusing hours of my life and I need to try and recap everything that has happened to try and make sense of it but for once I feel almost too exhausted to think.

Sitting there stroking Ana's small hand, while I wait for mom to finish consulting with the other doctors, I step through it all in my mind as if I am reliving everything again:

~ Miss Steele fell through my door and when I lifted her up, I felt a jolt of something that confused me, I have never felt anything like that before, I didn't want to let her go.

~ She left the office, saying my name as she disappeared into the elevator in such a way that it wrapped its way around my brain for hours, every time I tried to concentrate I heard it like a siren's call.

~ I decided I needed to know everything about her because she would be the perfect sub, submissive with a touch of fire and my perfect type, slim, petite, long brown hair and gorgeous but then I sat there for hours arguing with myself - she is not part of the scene but I want her to be a part of my life, could she learn? I've never known anything but subs, could I learn something else? Now, sitting here in the hospital I look at her, so broken and vulnerable but so sweet, do I still want her to be a sub? Could I ever cause her any pain given what I see her dealing with here? Why would I ever do that when the poor girl is feeling more pain than I have ever had to endure in my life and it is going to continue for weeks, months and possibly even years. But I don't know how to do hearts and flowers. Can I learn? She makes me want to learn.

~ Miss Kavanagh called to say Ana never made it home and I cared, a lot.

~ We tracked her car down to the middle of nowhere and found the car wrapped around a tree. The surge of fear that ran through me was enough to enable me to shift the car. I have no idea how I managed that at all. My heart actually twisted when I saw her lying pale in the car and then she said my name when I held her hand while she was still trapped and unconscious in the car. On some level she must have felt something. When they were working on her, unless she was holding my hand, she moaned in pain. It must have meant something to her for me to be there for her. Can I always be there for her?

~ She managed to tell us that someone hit her and we looked and found Cecilia Morton's car nearby.

~ At about the same time, Cecilia was caught in the Escala carpark accosting Gail, oh god, I've forgotten to ask Taylor how Gail is today

~ Ana was taken by helicopter to hospital and they nearly lost her on the table because of the extent of her injuries. Despite all the pain, she managed to see her parents and speak to them and to tell us that she had seen Cecilia at GEH when she left the interview.

~ When I tried to leave because I thought she hated me, her blood pressure spiked and it only calmed when I held her hand. She obviously felt something for me. Or was that just coincidence?

~ I held her hand and it felt right.

~ This morning I called her "sweetheart" and it felt right.

~ She seemed to have the same nightmare as I did. We appear to be tied on some deep spiritual level – I have never dreamed of being stabbed before despite all the awful nightmares I have.

~ She said "I think I'll be ok … as long as you are here" even though she didn't mean to say it out loud. It made my cold hard heart start to thaw.

~ She giggled and everything went right in the world, it was the most glorious sound I have ever heard and I am going to need to hear that sound every day for my life to be complete.

~ Her left hand was in my hair, her right hand was in mine, we were both sleeping and neither of us were having nightmares. I was safe and it felt right.

~ I met Miss Kavanagh and that Jose fellow. I'm glad that Jose is out of the picture, I was jealous that he said he was Ana's friend and I didn't know how close a friend. Thankfully he mustn't be close if he was unwilling to stand by her no matter what she looked like, Elliot was so unimpressed with what he said and even more so once Kate had filled him in apparently that Ana is the sweetest person she has ever known.

~ We nearly lost Ana to a pulmonary embolism and I was thrown back to when Ruby died, that was a memory that I had buried for years and no-one here knew about, not even John Flynn. I hate to say it, Ruby and Ana seem very similar and it shattered me when I lost Ruby before really getting to know her. Today I felt the same about Ana, yet I don't know Ana at all. I have never been as shattered as I felt this morning when I thought Ana might die.

~ I kissed her and it felt right.

~ I called her "baby" and it felt right.

~ I kissed her on the forehead to remove the pain and it drew out another loving memory that I had completely forgotten, throwing me back to the crack whore but then Ana brought me back from the brink of a panic attack by a simple squeeze of her hand. She can pull me out of a dark space, she is a miracle.

~ Discovering that Cecelia's father, Stephen Morton had been Ana's step father for a while has taken the situation from confusing to just plain ridiculously complicated.

~ Knowing that there are police and hospital reports where something obviously happened to Ana and then to overhear Ray's last comment "I need you to be strong for me, stronger than you've ever needed to be before but this time I will be here for you". Something has happened before which she had to deal with by herself, I don't ever want her to deal with things by herself again.

~ Somehow Elliot has become attached to Miss Kavanagh and according to the discussion I had with him for those few minutes that Ana was speaking to Miss Kavanagh it happened when Miss Kavanagh sent that Jose fellow packing for suggesting that he would find a disfigured Ana repulsive. I like Miss Kavanagh's style if that is the case, it is obvious that she adores and will protect Ana. It is solely because of her phone call to me that Ana is alive at all. I will do well to get on her good side and hopefully the new car to replace her old one will do just that in a small way at least. I have no doubt she will be coming at me with all guns blazing to figure out why I am doing all this.

~ There's the rub, I don't know why I am doing this. Surely I can't be in love with Ana…. Elena says love is for fools. I have known Ana for little more than 24 hours but I am drawn to her. I crave her contact. I seem to need her. She seems to need me. This is all very confusing, maybe I should speak to Elena, she knows me better than anyone else and has always understood why I do things and how I think.

As the doctors walk back into the room, mom asks how I'm doing and whether I was able to catch up with all my emails and I just gape and shrug, Ana has officially turned my life on its head because I haven't thought about work all day and I don't think that has ever happened. I switched my phone off after calling Miss Kavanagh and re-entering Ana's room and I hadn't thought to turn it back on.

While the doctors start working on Ana, mom pulls me to the side and says with an annoyed look "Do you want to explain what is going on? I thought you only met Ana yesterday, how is that Elliot appears to be involved with her best friend? Have you two been keeping things from me?" and I laugh.

"Mom, I don't need to tell you how quickly Elliot works, I swear to you, I had never seen Ana before yesterday, Elliot had never seen Kate until about 3 hours ago and I'm as amazed as you that he has managed to find someone when he was attempting to do good – I called him to come in to test for his blood type and that's where he met Kate. We aren't keeping anything from you. In fact, I don't know what's going on here, any more than you" I say resignedly, hoping that she might be able to shed some light without me having to ask.

She just smiles softly, pats my hand and suggests that I go home and get a rest "It's been a long day". I suggest that she do the same given that she wasn't even supposed to be on this side of the hospital and Ana isn't really any of her concern.

At this statement she arches an eyebrow and replies "Anything that concerns my boy is my concern," and continues back towards the bed to assist the other doctors.

I sit watching for a few minutes until they finish up and mom and I are left alone in the room. "Go home son, she is going to sleep well tonight, we have increased the pain relief and her body just needs to rest now. Tomorrow they'll be putting the casts on and she is going to feel really uncomfortable, so if you can come in then, I'm sure she'll appreciate it."

I nod and go to give Ana a kiss on the forehead and turn to see mom looking at me with tears in her eyes and without thinking about it, I quickly give her a half hug and hide my face against her neck and say quietly "Thanks mom for saving me again", I need her to understand what she did for me today. I wish I could give her a proper hug like Elliot does but her gasp and her inability to speak tells me that she is happy to accept at least this, the most I can offer her right now.

Taylor's waiting at the door and says "Ryan here will take over for tonight, I assume you want to maintain security?" and at my nod, Ryan assumes the position at the door and Taylor and I walk my mom to her office and then make our way down to the car.

On the way, I ask him how Gail is doing after what happened yesterday and remarkably, he says she was concerned for Cecilia and I am reminded once again, that my close personal staff members are remarkable people.

I suggest that they take a couple of days off together but apparently Taylor has other plans, "Thank you Sir but until this Cecilia mess is figured out, I am not going anywhere and I am sure Gail is happy to wait, she feels safe at Escala despite what happened."

I shrug my shoulders and say "Fine, the offer still stands because I'm sure you know that there will be a greater load on Gail soon as I fully intend for Miss Steele to come and recuperate at Escala if possible. Who knows how long she'll be kept in hospital and rehabilitation so hopefully after this mess is sorted, you'll have a chance to get away before she is released. I am also going to need your help in getting her back to WSU for her graduation" I don't need to explain to Taylor that this whole sorry mess is all because of me and every time I stuff up, he and Gail seem to bear the brunt of it.

Taylor's response is to say "Have you read your emails lately Sir?" and actually looks surprised when I say, "No, I've had my phone off all afternoon", I don't know who is more shocked to be honest and so I pull out my phone and start working my way through the hundreds of emails, most are mundane and can be forwarded to others to deal with and then I see a series from Welch and my gut clenches, do I really want to know what he has found?