Christian's POV

It's late, I have been sitting staring at the reports from Welch for the last two hours, a glass has been shattered against the wall out of frustration already and if Mrs Jones hadn't removed the other projectiles from my desk, there would have been a bigger mess to clean up.

Taylor poked his head into the room and asked if I needed Welch to come in so we could discuss it as a group but at this point I think I just need to absorb, this isn't new news that will have any impact other than ensure that Cecilia is kept at the facility under greater security.

There is now 24 hour security outside her door and several more outside the window with an additional someone to follow her if and when she makes any movements within the facility. Her access to outside communication is strictly controlled and being monitored, nothing is going to go out without being scanned or intercepted in some way and recorded.

Gee, I manage to attract phenomenally screwed up people – I hope Ana doesn't fall into that category, although, with what she has gone through, it wouldn't be her fault if she was. How has she managed to retain her gorgeous nature – will she if she is involved with me? Would she be better off if I leave her alone? I don't want to leave her alone, that has happened too much in her life already.

How can I pull all of these strings together to try and work out what was going through Cecilia's head and I am wondering whether I should be bringing the police in now, I know they are asking questions about the cars from the accident as Ana was so severely injured and she was left at the accident scene without the accident being reported by the other, obviously uninjured and able driver. We haven't told them that we have Cecilia in the psychiatric facility so at this point, they don't know where she is at all. In addition to not wanting the police prying into my life, I really don't want them bothering Ana either so I think we'll investigate further and provide them with what I want them to know.

I desperately need to speak to Ana about her past but she is not in a position with her health to be able to do that. She did absolve me of explaining anything until after her graduation but in light of the papers in front of me, I need to somehow understand how these two girls are interlinked and how somewhere in all this mess, I have been the catalyst for all the damage. I believe Ana when she says she didn't know the girl in the car. I just have a feeling that I am missing something, like there is something on the edge of my consciousness that keeps slipping out of my grasp that may help explain it all.

"Mr Grey, I have some macaroni and cheese warming in the oven, I am turning in for the night and since you didn't eat any dinner, I thought you might like some now" says Mrs Jones and I realise that I forgot to eat – I don't forget to eat. To make the point my stomach growls and I thank her and ask her to serve it up, I might as well eat, since the thinking isn't getting me anywhere.

The food or perhaps the break works because when I sit back down again I think back to my thoughts this afternoon at the hospital when I worked through everything that had happened and realised that I really don't know that much about Ana. She hasn't really been able to speak to me since the accident, in the interview she steadfastly stuck to Miss Kavanagh's questions, hmm, all of them! I don't know anything about her other than the very brief security report and what I managed to glean from Elliot this afternoon.

Annoyingly, from his two hour lunch with Miss Kavanagh he knows a lot more about Ana than I do and according to him, she is practically a saint – studious, self-sufficient because she's needed to be, quiet, modest and completely unaware of her effect on others, she doesn't seek attention and doesn't like to impose and there was no indication of any relationships. The only other friend she seemed to have was that Jose but he showed his true colours and thankfully Miss Kavanagh sent him packing.

So that brings me back to the information in front of me, is she self-sufficient and not attention seeking because of her mother's behaviour? Does she not have relationships because those that she has observed have all brought her instability and pain? Does she not want relationships? Or has she been hurt really badly in the past and is therefore effectively a shell of what she could be because of mistreatment by those that should have protected her? Does she not trust anyone? Too many questions and how can I bring anything up from her past while she is so unwell.

I work through the documents again trying to piece together an understanding of her life.

It seems that Ray stepped into the breach when Ana's father died and provided stability and support to an almost destitute Carla after the death of her husband and stayed a positive influence in Ana's life throughout, when he was able to do so. It is interesting to note that he is an ex-military man and that explains his demeanour. The first part of Ana's life seems stable enough until 2005, it's the next bit that seems to have been the most turbulent and I am sure is the reason I am sitting here now.

Carla moved out of Ray's house in early September 2005 taking Ana with her to live in Texas with Stephen Morton. Ana turned 16 shortly after. From a police report: Carla apparently drank too much after Ana's birthday party because she was so upset that Ana's actual father had died the day after Ana was born and was missing Ana's sweet 16th birthday. She stupidly drove drunk and crashed the car. The result was that Ana ended up in hospital with concussion and a broken nose but no other apparent or major injuries while Carla and Stephen were both fine. Carla's lack of protection of what should have been her most precious possession is appalling and it gets worse. From the visitor records and file notes at the hospital at the time, Carla barely visited her in the hospital and was annoyed with Ana because she, as in Carla, had ended up in trouble with a DUI conviction – it appears that in her mind, it was Ana's birthday party, so it was her fault!.

In all the intelligence at this point from Carla and Ana's point of investigation, there is no mention of Cecilia, it is as if they didn't even know she existed. She certainly wasn't included in any communications that Welch has been able to retrieve from that time, Welch is very good so I truly believe that Carla and Ana quite possibly didn't know that she existed. Perhaps Stephen didn't want to mention the fact that he had a daughter to someone he was just starting a relationship with or was it something more?

From Cecilia's background information, she was 18 and away at the University of Texas Brownsville where the records show that she had already been in trouble for possession of marijuana and possible drunken assault on another female student. These were both covered up and apparently the link found by Welch was back to Stephen Morton. It does not appear that in any communications that he told his daughter of his new relationship with Carla until October 2005. Again he may not have wanted to let his daughter know that he had started a new relationship with a woman with a daughter practically her age or was it something more than that?

At that time, October 2005, when he did tell her, there appears to have been a series of vitriolic emails between Cecilia and Stephen where she accused him of replacing her with, and this is where it gets confronting, it appears, both Carla and Ana. The implication running rife through the emails is that he didn't treat her just as a daughter and it had the bile rising in my throat as I remembered her saying to me "Oh Daddy am I pleasing you", in one of our playroom sessions towards the end of the contract. My stomach flips to now realise why and it takes all of my control not to empty its contents into the wastepaper basket.

From the night of Halloween 2005 there is a police and hospital report where an apparent "trick or treater" had come to the door and when Ana answered it, the person dressed in a grim reaper costume had actually slashed at her with a knife. It wasn't a costume knife and Ana was stabbed in the neck and in her side and the assailant ran off into the night and was never apprehended. From the police report, Ana recognised that the assailant was a female because she saw the long hair and heard her say "Bitch you're taking it all away from me" This had left her confused because she said she couldn't recognise the person so didn't know why the comment was said.

It hits me with a flash then that her nightmare about stabbing in the hospital must be a flashback to this attack. Maybe something in her brain recognises the eyes that wouldn't have been covered by the mask and she saw Cecelia's face, both outside GEH and when she laughed at her when Ana was trapped in the wreck. Ana was in hospital for quite a while recovering from the stab wounds and still at this point there is no indication that either Carla or Ana knew about the existence of Stephen's daughter Cecilia which is rather odd.

By the 24th November 2005 and Thanksgiving dinner it appears that Carla and Ana knew that Stephen had a 20 year old daughter who was not attending dinner because Stephen said that he had disowned her. This came out in the police report filed for that night where once again Ana had ended up in hospital, it says that Ana said, "There were only 3 people in the house, Stephen, Carla and I and while Stephen has a daughter which we have never seen, he says he has disowned her so she wasn't there".

Ana was in hospital because she had been assaulted by Stephen in a drunken rage. Apparently he had attempted to molest her but she had managed to get away from him so the sexual attack didn't happen but a little while later he had broken into her room with a cane and pinned her against the bed. He had caned her across the back and legs so badly that the skin was a criss-cross of bloody stripes where the cane had broken the skin. It was a ferocious attack, the photos of which made my stomach turn every time I looked at them.
On seeing the photos earlier today, I had gone to my playroom, taken all the canes and heavy equipment and asked Taylor to dispose of them – he'd seen the photos, he knew why.

Worse is written in the police report from the time where it appears that Carla had spoken to the disowned daughter, Cecilia, the night after and become quite friendly Carla was convinced by her that it must have been some random person that had broken into the room and attacked Ana because her dad, Stephen, was sweetness personified and it couldn't have been him. I wonder why Carla didn't think about the fact that Stephen had disowned Cecilia previously…. At this point, Cecilia moved back into the house while Ana was in hospital and all reports are that she and Carla became friends and went shopping etc. Both of them visited Stephen and bailed him out and Carla again rarely visited Ana in hospital.

Interestingly though, all the pictures of Cecilia at the time show her with blonde hair and I wonder if she dyed her hair brown when she subbed for me…. Did she already have brown hair or did she change the colour on Elena's instruction?

As soon as Ana was released from hospital she was on the plane and back to Ray, she did not go to Carla's house so would not have seen Cecilia to know what she looked like. Ray took her directly from the hospital to the plane and home. Now I understand why Ray said what he did to her as he left today and why the pained expression fleeted across her face at those words.

I am absolutely appalled that Carla appears to have been completely oblivious that all these things were happening around her, that somehow they included her boyfriend and his daughter and that her daughter was being injured time after time and yet she stuck with him. Ultimately marrying him in August 2006 and it was only when he assaulted her so badly that she ended up in hospital with a broken arm and facial injuries that she divorced him in January 2007.

I'm afraid I don't have a very high opinion of Carla while my opinion of Ray has skyrocketed. He wasn't Ana's "real" dad but in every sense of the word, he looks like he has surpassed that duty. I am amazed at Ana's loving nature if she has completely forgiven her mother for the lack of care or I wonder, did she not know about her mother's complicity. I am at a loss as to how I can ask her about that time and Carla's involvement without causing some sort of damage to their current relationship. The poor girl has so few people in her life that I don't want to be the cause of her distancing herself from her mother. Hmm, I wonder if I hadn't paid for the flight, would Carla have come to see Ana in hospital? I shake my head, that is not relevant at this point so I let it go.

However the question still remains, this was nearly 5 ½ years ago and while from the photos I can see of the younger Ana, she hasn't changed much at all, was it just chance that Cecilia saw her out the front of GEH? I am going to have to speak to John Flynn and see if he can shed some light on why Cecilia followed and ran Ana off the road.

The other information about Cecilia is even more disturbing, it seems that she has been living with her father since the debacle with me and now that I know the earlier information, I wonder if she was being abused again despite being 25. She has been in trouble with the law for DUI and marijuana possession more times than is possible since our contract terminated and I wonder if that had any part to play in her actions. I try and rationalise it that the only reason she became involved with me was because she was trying to help her father but I have to wonder, did I mess her up even more?.

And then another thought hits me. Elena provided her, what is the relationship between them now? I'm straight on the phone, "Welch, dig, you need to dig. What is the relationship between Elena Lincoln and Cecilia Morton? Is it still ongoing? If not, when did it terminate and why? Go back and try and figure out when it started too." I pause and am about to hang up and a thought occurs to me "Oh God, see if there is any sort of relationship between Elena Lincoln and Stephen Morton."

Maybe I should just call Elena and arrange to have our usual dinner, that way I can see what she says about Cecilia and chat to her about these feelings I am having for Ana as well. As I have that thought, the bile rises unbidden into my throat. While I want to know about Cecilia, I suddenly don't know if I want Elena knowing about Ana.

I am sure she will tell me that what I am feeling is bad and I am not sure that it is. In between the disasters in the last day and a half, I have felt more at peace than I have before in my life. Not only that, today I really felt Grace's love and was able to accept it. I don't think Elena would approve and as I try and sort out these new thoughts, that feeling of just missing something important intensifies.

I am broken from my thoughts by Taylor saying "We have a situation at the hospital," and my heart clenches, no more situations please and as my head snaps up he says "Mrs Lincoln is attempting to gain access to Miss Steele's room, Ryan has stopped her but she is being very insistent"

Oh Good Lord! What is Elena doing at the hospital in the middle of the night trying to get in to see Ana?

"What on earth she is doing there, just make sure she doesn't go in, get Ryan to call hospital security, no-one should be in any room other than patients and medical staff let alone in Ana's room," and Taylor walks out issuing instructions as he goes. "If you need to go out there to convince her, go" I call out after him.

She must have heard about Ana from mom but why would she want to go in, it's the middle of the night?

The thought that has been eluding me makes an appearance in a feeling I can't shake, the lynch pin, that's it, somehow Elena Lincoln is involved and I need to get to the bottom of it before I can rest.

I was going to speak to her about Ana because I am very confused about my feelings and I was sure she could provide some clarity but as of a few minutes ago for some reason I had started to feel uneasy about her, now I have a downright suspicion about her relationship with Cecilia and Stephen Morton.

For the first time, it seems that the purity that Ana exudes highlights Elena's true nature which is as appealing as a bad smell….