Distress

SUMMARY: Dipper is extremely worried about Pacifica's views on him; Pacifica visits her parents' graves; Dipper reveals a large secret.

MAIN CHARACTERS: "Dipper" Pines and Pacifica Northwest

WARNING! THERE IS AN EXTREME SPOILER FROM "JOURNAL 3" IN HERE! IF YOU WISH TO NOT BE SPOILED PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS UNTIL YOU HAVE EXPERIENCED ALL THAT IS "JOURNAL 3" FOR YOURSELF!

Pacifica was kneeled on her knees, her jeans getting grassed stained, as she held two bundles of flowers to her chest.

Silent tears streamed down her face, her lips quivering. In front of her was two tombstones that bore her parents' names. Slowly, she sets the flowers in front of the stones. Their bodies were never found, so they were given honorary graves. The graves weren't at the Gravity Falls graveyard, but instead in a separate area behind Northwest Manor that held the bodies of the deceased Northwest family.

Except for her parents.

They didn't have the best relationship, her and her parents. Pacifica was getting to that age where her parents wanted to force her to do things that they thought it was right for her. Of course, being a preteen at the time she followed orders but at the same time would cut corners. But she really started defying her parents at the annual party they family had held since the beginning of the town.

Pacifica shook her head, not really wanting to remember that night much. A small, ghost of a smile played on her lips as she remembered Dipper being forced into a suit and bow tie to look presentable at the party at her father's orders, despite the then twelve-year-old boy having to exorcise a ghost.

"You doing okay, Pacifica?" a voice asked gently behind her.

The blonde jumps skittishly, finally noticing the dark shadow looming over her. She instantly recognized the voice, but was still startled from the suddenness of it.

"I'm… managing…" Pacifica whispers. "Thanks for asking, Dipper."

The brunette sits down on the grass next to her, his knees level with his shoulders. His warm brown eyes looked at the tombstones in front of him, his frown deepening. Images flashed in his mind of Preston and Pricilla Northwest being killed by him, a swift flick of his wrist with a sword…

"Dipper, you're shaking," Pacifica says worriedly. She then puts her head on his shoulder and wraps her arms around him, rubbing his back gently to comfort him. "It's not your fault…" she insists.

Dipper flinches and his body then stills like stone. "Yes it is," he replied firmly, his voice sounding grim. "I could've resisted-" He puts his face in his hands, but he still felt Pacifica's warmth against him.

"You were trying to protect your family…" Pacifica whispers, trying to defend him. Her voice sounded tight, as if she was trying not to cry.

He replies bitterly with a scoff, "At the expense of how many lives?"

Pacifica gives him a sharp look, her green eyes hardened and glistening like emeralds. "Dipper, stop self-loathing, that's not health," she chastises.

Dipper then gestures to himself. "Being me isn't healthy…" he deadpanned. "That night… in the Bartek house… you said I was laughing at the dead bodies… that's not healthy!" He then stands up, causing Pacifica to lose her balance and almost fall into the grass. "There is something wrong with me! How can you not see that!?" He looked so distressed, like he was ready to pull his hair out, and he was starting to pace.

"Dip-"

"How can you even look at me after what I have done!?" Dipper shrieks, his voice cracking with despair. "I know Mabel, Stan, and Ford will always care about me because I'm family… but why do you care about me!? You shouldn't!" Tears were freely falling down his face. "I can barely face my family… but now, standing here, I'm so scared that you will walk away… that you will see how terrible I am and leave…

"One part of me says that yes, you should walk away. To scream at me that you hate my guts because of what I have done…! The other part… is terrified. You are literally a small light in my darkness, your blonde hair shining like the sun… you're patient with me, you don't rush me when you know I'm not ready for certain things… you comfort me… and I don't want you to leave."

Before he could say anything else he felt the air being squeezed out of him. He looks down to the blonde hair below his nose, him taking in the scent of fresh lavender and violets from her shampoo. Subconsciously, he wraps his arms around her and holds her close to him, not daring to even dream of letting her go.

"I would never walk away, Dipper." Pacifica consoled, her voice soft. She buries her face into his chest, taking in the woodsy smell of his clothes, the scent of leaves and pine trees. It was such an earthy smell.

"Mason," he barely whispered, causing Pacifica to look at his face with confusion.

"What?" she questioned, thinking that she had misheard him.

"Mason," he says again, this time more firmly. "I… I just realized I never told you my actual name…" his face flushes red with shame and embarrassment. "I'm just so used to being 'Dipper Pines'…" He then gives a small smile. "You… believe in me so much… and here I was, not telling the person who I really love and care for my real name…"

Pacifica's faces heats up, a huge smile on her face showing her semi-perfect white teeth. Dipper smiles inwardly thinking how he though she looked adorable with a tiny gap between her front teeth; at a glance it looked perfect, but Dipper paid attention to detail and likes the barely noticeable gap.

"You… you actually trust me with your name?" the blonde asks, clearly astonished.

Dipper raises a brow. "Of course I trust you," he chuckled like it was obvious. "I wouldn't be telling you what I've been feeling if I didn't." Over the past few days the teenager had been debating with his conflicting emotions. He always talked to his family about them, but for once he wanted to tell Pacifica, and he could tell she was extremely pleased with it.

Pacifica gives him a kiss, startling him. "Mason…" she tests out the new name. "That's really cute." She gives another smile.

"Eck." Dipper instantly grimaced. "My name isn't cute."

The blonde laughs again and hooks her arm to his, the two slowly leaving the graveyard. "Does this mean I can call you by your name now?" she playfully asks, already knowing that he was going to flat out say no.

"Not in public," he casually replied, giving a shrug.

Pacifica immediately stops. "Wait… what?" again she was confused.

Dipper looks back at her and laughs at her facial expression. "I said, not in public. But when we're in private like this, say it all you want," he tells her. He then makes a stern face. "As long as you don't say my name is cute," he added.

Once again the two began walking, arms interlinked together. Dipper's chest instantly felt lightened, feeling like a pressure was lifted from him. It was as if he finally pushed himself into fully trusting someone other than his twin sister, something that was never easy to come by. Even though he had told Pacifica multiple times that he loved her, now with him telling his real name, it was as if it was a true declaration of love, a sign that he can truly trust her and tell his feelings.

His distress from earlier was melting away at the sound of Pacifica's voice, her small laughs. He could feel her heartbeat since they were standing so close, and he felt his slowly synchronize with hers.

"I love you, Mason," he heard her say lovingly.

His chest flushed with warmth. It had been so long since someone said that to him… his own family hadn't said that to him in years. Of course they said "I love you Dipper", but hearing his real name uttered with those three words… made all the difference.

Dipper then fully stops and turns Pacifica to him and gives her a passionate kiss, him embracing her fully. He felt her hands go behind his neck as she returned the kiss. Once they pulled apart, her eyes flashed with mischief.

"What was that for?" she almost purred.

"It has been a very long time since someone has said that to me," Dipper admits.

A smile plays on her lips. "I love you, Mason," she says again.

His words were then, truly for the first time, filled with love and adoration to the blonde heiress that was before him, the last remnants of his distress dissolving away.

"I love you too, Pacifica."

A/N: A little bit of fluff after some serious stuff in the last short story and the two recent chapters of "Beyond the Portal".

And hey, I gave FULL warning about a spoiler from "Journal 3", so, yeah. I really liked how he revealed his name to Ford with full on trust, so I made it kind of a theme for Dipper to say his real name to Pacifica, to show that even though bad blood had been between them before and that he was extremely worried on her view of him that he will always trust her with that information.

Thanks for reading as always!

~Skye Hendersen~