8: Magnus POV
A/N: Sorry if this chapter's kinda sucky or too short.
I feel better when I wake up. The pain isn't as bad as it was yesterday, but it's still there.
"Good morning. Feeling better?" Alec murmurs behind me.
"A little. I'm sorry about that," I reply, stretching cautiously.
"Don't be. You were hurting. I've done the same thing with migraines."
I manage to get dressed without puking.
"Thank you for protecting me yesterday," I tell him.
"Magnus, I'm not gonna let him hurt you ever again. I promise," he replies fiercely.
Jace is waiting for us in the hall. I give him my best glare and growl at him. I can sound very scary when I want to.
"Can I talk to Magnus?" he asks.
"Not alone," Alec replies.
"I'm sorry I hurt you."
"Hurting me is shutting my tail in a door or almost tearing my ear in half. What you did was worse than that. You dragged me out of my hiding place, beat the crap outta me, and then you raped me. You're as bad as my last owner," I growl.
"So you don't accept?"
"No, I don't. How would you have liked it if some guy did the same thing to you?"
I'm three seconds from snapping. If I do that, Alec will probably hate me.
"I'd feel like crap," Jace tells me, stuffing his hands into his pockets.
"Exactly."
"I said I was sorry."
"Sorry doesn't fix everything. Sorry didn't fix it when I was five and had my innocence stolen. Sorry didn't fix it when I was seventeen and Ragnor tortured me for biting in self-defense. Sorry doesn't fix it when you got drunk and decided that beating me and raping me, for no other reason than you were horny, was a good idea. Sorry changes nothing."
"Can't you make him accept?"
"He has every right not to. I'm not making him tell you he's fine with it when he's not," Alec replies.
Jace reminds me of a pouting kid. It ticks me off more. What right does he have to pout when I'm the one who got hurt?
"Alec, I need to go," I murmur.
"So he yells at me, and now he's gotta go?" Jace asks.
"I'm leaving so I don't do something that hurts Alec."
Alec's quick to get me away from him. I'm shaking from anger.
"I'm sorry," I tell Alec in the kitchen.
"Magnus, you were defending yourself," he replies.
I actually do feel kinda bad for the way I acted. I should have behaved better.
"Still. I should've behaved better," I murmur.
"I'm glad you defended yourself," Alec tells me.
"I came close to hurting him."
I hate saying it out loud. It makes me no better of a person than Jace. Or Ragnor.
"Why were you gonna hurt him?" Alec asks.
"I wanted him to see how it feels to be totally powerless. I wanted him to feel the way I felt when he attacked me," I mumble, putting my head in my hands.
"Magnus, you weren't gonna go that far, were you?"
"What? Rape him? No! I meant I wanted to hit him."
"I've been powerless before. I saw both my parents die," Jace says from the doorway.
"What happened?" I ask.
"Someone broke in our house. I hid in my closet like a coward. They murdered my parents and robbed us. The Lightwoods were my godparents so they got custody of me; my parents didn't have any other relatives. I spent two weeks in foster care before the hearing took place, so I know what it's like to have the living crap knocked out of you."
"I'm sorry. Really."
"It was a long time ago."
I still don't like Jace. I don't trust him at all. But I do pity him.
"Is Sebastian still giving you and Clary problems?" Alec asks.
"Clary left me for him. Who wouldn't want me?" Jace replies.
I point at myself.
"Besides you," he mumbles.
"You asked," I smirk.
"Sounds like someone's starting to get better," Izzy remarks, bouncing into the kitchen.
The tips of her black hair are dyed blue.
"Want me to do yours after we get back from school?" she asks.
"I-I can do it if you tell me what to do," I offer shyly.
"He doesn't really like having his head messed with," Alec explains.
I'm grateful for him explaining.
I mostly wander around while Alec studies. I haven't been given any chores, and I don't want to annoy him.
"Magnus, do you want me to try teaching you after I get done?" he asks.
I agree quietly.
I don't know how kind he'll be teaching me. Everyone else hurt me if I messed up or didn't understand what they were asking. I like Alec, but I also know how people teach nekos like me.