A Sense of Loss

SUMMARY: Mabel goes to Pacifica to talk about her mother's death.

MAIN CHARACTERS: Mabel Pines and Pacifica Northwest

PERSONAL NOTE: This is a very short, short story. My mother passed away about a month ago, and Mabel's feelings reflect mine greatly. This is my way of coping and trying to make sense of everything. Mabel's regrets and concerns in this story are 100% what I'm feeling, but unfortunately I do not have a close friend who has gone through something similar. Sorry if this chapter wasn't as long after a small hiatus on this...

Rain slapped the window with force as Mabel sat there staring blankly to the outside world, the sky a dreary grey, the world seemingly empty and almost surreal.

Mabel had silent tears dripping from her face, a copy of a photograph in her hands of her and her mother. She missed her mother very much, a feeling that she thought she would never feel for many years to come. Her mother was dead, and it was much too soon for anyone's liking, her feeling like something was empty in her chest.

She decides to go downstairs and pick up the phone in the kitchen, dialing the number to Northwest Manor. By the second ring a woman answered the phone and Mabel asked for Pacifica. Pacifica's voice was a heard a few minutes later.

"Hey, Mabel, what's up?" Pacifica asked concernedly.

Mabel's voice sounded emotionless as she asked, "Can I come over to talk to you…?"

"About…?"

"Our moms."

Silence on the other line. There was a take of breath as the blonde heiress replied hoarsely, "Of course."

About a half hour later Mabel arrived at the manor, her trudging her feet. She wore one of her famous handmade sweaters, a dark blue in color with a symbol of a negative version of her shooting star. The once bright colors of the shooting star were now black and grey, all life drained from it. As she had approached the door it had opened, Pacifica wearing a simple purple t-shirt with jeans, and brings Mabel inside.

The two go to Pacifica's room and the door was shut behind them. On a small tea table was two cups with teaming tea and a teapot, a cup of sugar cubes and some honey next to it. Mabel goes and sits in one of the plush pink chairs and grabs a cup and puts about four cubes into her tea. Pacifica sits in the chair across from her and put a small amount of honey in her tea.

"So… what triggered…?" Pacifica softly asked.

"Nothing," Mabel simply replies. "I just miss her…"

Mabel didn't have the opportunity that many other girls had. Her mother wasn't there for her first period, her brother and great uncle looked at her uncomfortably at that subject. Her mother wasn't there to help her fit for her firs bra, Stan took her to the store and told her to take whatever she needed and it took a couple of sizes to find out hers. Her mother wasn't there to help her through the heartaches of boys.

All in all, her mother simply wasn't there anymore.

And just the simple fact that she wasn't there is what made Mabel sit there thinking how people could move on. That was why she liked to talk to Pacifica as she had lost her mother as well. Wendy was a good person to talk to as well since she had lost her mother very young and had to grow up without her.

"Do you miss your mom?" Mabel then asks bluntly.

"Every day," Pacifica sniffles, her staring into her tea. "I regret… a lot. I regret not spending as much time with her as I should."

Mabel nods, thinking something similar. "I regret not calling during the summer that Dipper and I first came to Gravity Falls…" she whispered. "I wrote letters, but I didn't hear her voice. The last letter I sent was about Grunkle Ford coming out of the portal and I don't even think my mother ever got it. I heard her voice in that video… and wow, I just missed it so much."

Pacifica nods, understanding.

"My regret… is not calling…" Mabel says simply. "I could've called more and said that I loved her."

"But she knew that you did," Pacifica tells her friend. "She knew you were having fun here with Dipper and your uncle. She knew that you and Dipper loved her very much, and she would be so happy that you two are alive and well, even if it is without her."

Tears fall freely from Mabel's face, them rippling the tea in the cup. She sniffles and grabs a tissue and wipes the tears.

"When one I'm a mom… I don't want any of this sort of thing to happen to my kids…" Mabel tearfully said. "And that's another thing… my mom won't see me get married… give me advise on pregnancy… seeing her grandkids…"

"I know what you mean…" Pacifica admits sadly. "I've thought of that stuff too…"

Mabel slams her tea on the table, it splashing over. "IT'S NOT FAIR!" she screams. "WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE HER BEING TAKEN FROM ME!? WAS I A BAD DAUGHTER!? TOO SELFISH!? I WANT ANSWERS, DAMN IT!" Mabel proceeds to take the tea cup that she was using and throws it against the wall, it shattering. She stood there panting, but the panting turned into sobbing. "What did I do…?" Her mind went to the rift and how she gave it to Bill, disguised as Blendin, so easily and brought Weirdmageddon to the world.

Pacifica then goes and hugs her close. "You didn't do anything…" she assures her friend. "Sometimes shit happens… and when shit happens, it really is shit."

"I miss her…" Mabel sobbed.

"I know," Pacifica whispers. "I miss my mom too, but we need to think of them and the good times we had so that they'll live on in our hearts."

Mabel nods and exits the embrace of her friend. Pacifica and her may have had their differences in the past, but now they seemed to be like sisters; it was fitting that they were almost like sisters as Pacifica is dating Mabel's twin brother.

"You're right…" Mabel says, agreeing.

"So, let's calm down a bit and tell some good memories?" the blonde heiress suggests.

The two spent the rest of their evening talking about their mothers. Mabel telling stories on how she would go shopping with her mother at the mall, the two spending hours doing a fashion show. Pacifica would tell on how her mother would take her to weekend trips to Paris just the two of them to spend time together.

Even though Mabel still felt like she had something missing in her, it felt warm, as if just remembering the good times made her mother feel alive.

A smile goes across Mabel's face and the warmness grows.