I still own nothing. If I did, I wouldn't be poor.

15: Alec

I watch as Magnus curls away from me at the diagnosis. He looks heartbreakingly depressed and scared and I wanna hold him more than anything.

"What're the treatments?" I ask.

Magnus looks up at me in shock. I have a feeling he thought I would have him put down or taken to the pound. No way is that happening.

"There's been tremendous results from a new medicine. It's still experimental, but I think it would work great for him. Most of the hybrids using it have been cured," Dr. Loss explains.

"I promised him I'd always do whatever it takes to keep him. Do you wanna give the medicine a try?"

Magnus agrees quietly.

"There are a couple warnings you should know about. It can make him really worn out. It can cause him to lose weight, so you really need to keep an eye on that. It can cause vomiting and nausea. He'll need weekly blood tests to monitor his progress," she informs us.

"Do you still wanna try it?" I ask, touching Magnus' hand gently.

He nods slowly.

"Any idea when he'll be able to come home?" I ask.

"Three days at least. We'll start him on the medicine this evening through an IV, and we can either use a feeding tube or a straw to feed him. Whatever he prefers," she tells us.

"A straw please," Magnus murmurs.

"You're allowed to be here whenever he's bathed or you can do it. You mentioned he had some very negative experiences last time he was hospitalized. I want to avoid that as much as possible."

"Can I stay with him?" I ask.

"We've never had an owner ask that before. You can. There's a small apartment attached that no one's staying in. I have the key to it if you wanna stay there until he's able to go home. Or you can stay in his room."

"Staying in his room would make me feel better. I have a question."

"Go ahead."

"How long does it take to become a vet like you and how much does schooling cost?"

"Five to eight years. It depends on whether or not you actually like hybrids. Schooling costs anywhere from ten thousand to twenty thousand. My advice would be to start as a tech. They don't make techs go to school like they do for animals."

"It's expensive, but I'd really like to do it. Why don't techs have to go to school?"

"They don't think it's necessary to do the schooling in order to deal with hybrids."

"I wish people felt different towards hybrids."

"I know. I do too. You don't know how many times I've seen ones who are being abused. There's nothing I can do to get them out of the situation. With the laws as they are, owners can't be prosecuted for cruelty. The only way to really get the pet away from them is to talk the owner into surrendering them to a pound."

"I know the only reason Ragnor's getting in trouble is because Magnus belongs to me, and it's illegal to attack someone else's pet. That's why Valentine's in prison. My parents somehow got out of it."

"Are you gonna take Magnus to the trial? If he's allowed by the court?"

"Do you wanna go?"

Careful of his injured ear, I stroke his hair tenderly. I'm glad he no longer flinches away whenever I touch him.

"Dunno. Why'd Jace help me?" he mumbles.

"He said he felt really bad for how he treated you before. I still don't trust him with you," I explain.

"You really care about him, don't you? I've never seen a pet look this happy," Dr. Loss remarks.

"He's my boyfriend. I love him more than anything in the world," I reply.

Magnus smiles at this.

"Aww! He looks really happy with you. I'm gonna bring him some food and start an IV," she tells us, patting Magnus lightly.

Magnus guzzles the protein drink she brings him. He even asks her for more.

"I'll bring you another once I get the IV in. Alec, why didn't you mention his appetite increase?" she says.

"It varies from day to day, so I didn't really think about it," I explain.

I watch as she inserts the IV tube to the port in the back of Magnus' hand.

"He'll get one bag of this a day while he's in here and two pills daily when he comes home. The pills can be crushed and mixed in a drink," she tells me.

Magnus rests his head on my leg once she's gone. He looks really worn out.

"You can sleep if you want. I'm not gonna leave," I tell him.

He shakes his head.

"Did you think I wasn't gonna want you?" I ask.

"Yeah. I thought you'd want me put down," he replies.

"I love you. I don't care what the test said. Alright?"

"What about your job?"

"They know I'm gonna be taking care of you."

I'm actually glad when he drifts off. I know he hates napping like this, but I know he needs to so he'll get better.

He's sleeping so soundly he doesn't wake when my phone vibrates with a text.

Izzy: How is he? I heard what happened. Can I visit?

Me: He's sleeping. He'll be able to come home in maybe three days.

Izzy: How bad was it? Jace just told me he was pretty hurt.

I feel a little guilty for not telling her sooner, but Magnus was my first priority.

Me: He has a few broken bones. His jaw's wired shut. He barely has a tail now. But he's alive. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner.

Izzy: I'm glad he'll be ok. Alec, you're worried about your boyfriend. I get that.

Me: How r things home?

Izzy: Bad. Jace is in deep crap for helping Magnus.

Me: I'm glad he was there. Otherwise, Ragnor probably would've killed Magnus.

Magnus is mewling frantically in his sleep. He's starting to lash out at some unseen force.

"Shh. You're okay. You're safe. I'm right here," I murmur soothingly, petting his hair gently.

His eyes flicker open at my touch. Panicked, he glances around before realizing I'm the one touching him.

"What happened?" I ask gently.

"Really bad dream," he mumbles.

"I'm sorry."

"He raped me. You know that, right?"

"I know. Are you okay? I can stop touching you if it's bothering you."

"No, it's not bothering me. Are you mad at me that it happened again? I fought back, Alec. Really. I didn't want it to happen."

"Mags, of course I'm not mad at you. It's not your fault. I'm so proud of you for defending yourself. I know you didn't want it."

"What if I can't ever be with you like that? Are you still gonna want me?"

"I'll still love you. I'm not with you because of what you were before. I know you had lots of bad experiences. But I'll be really patient with you when you're ready. It only happens when you're ready for that step. Okay? The fact I love you isn't gonna change."

"Aren't you ready for me to put out, though?"

"Magnus, I am never going to pressure you into doing something you're not ready for, especially when you never had a say in it. Whether I'm ready or not isn't the point."

I don't like how distressed he is. If I'd talked to him about that part of our relationship sooner, maybe he wouldn't be so upset.

"I know you wouldn't rape me. I just thought maybe I was taking too long to put out. I thought you might've been mad at me for what Ragnor did, since you and I are dating," he murmurs.

"Magnus, I'm not mad at you. Especially not for something you can't control," I tell him gently.

"You're better than I could've ever hoped."

This is the closest to an 'I love you' I've gotten. I understand why he's reluctant to say it. And I'll wait for him.

"How're you feeling about everything that happened? Emotionally, I mean," I say.

"Ashamed. Filthy. I feel like I did when Ragnor kept me caged for a week and didn't let me out to use the bathroom. Like I might make you dirty by touching you. I hate myself," he mumbles reluctantly, turning away from me.

"It wasn't your fault. It never was. Why do you hate yourself?"

He ignores me. He's sniffling softly.

Way to go. Make your boyfriend cry. Like he hasn't had enough trauma, I berate myself.

"Magnus, I wasn't trying to upset you more. I'm sorry. You don't have to talk about it," I murmur.

"It's not you. Something's wrong with me," he replies.

"If you're meaning the HIV, it's something we can treat."

"It's not the HIV. Even though it hurt, I-I—Why did I do that if it hurt so much?"

"Magnus, you couldn't control your body's reaction. That's normal. It doesn't mean something's wrong with you or that you enjoyed it. Do you think I'm mad at you for it?"

He shakes his head.

"Will you hold me?" he asks.

"Of course. How do you want me to hold you?" I reply.

"I don't want our normal."

Our normal is usually me spooning him.

"You can always turn over and I can hold you that way if you want," I reply.

He curls up against me timidly. The tension in his skinny body is unreal. Before, he would've practically melted against me.

"I love you more than you can imagine. More than you think," I whisper.

He's quiet for several long moments. He's beginning to gradually relax against me.

"I think I love you," he murmurs.

His words make my eyes sting with tears.

"You have no idea how amazing you are," I tell him.

He doesn't say anything. He simply sighs and snuggles closer.

More than anything, I want him to heal from the trauma. I want Ragnor to rot in prison.