Two Stans, a Boat, and a Gobblewonker
SUMMARY: Stan tells the twins the little adventure that he and Ford had on their little boat outing.
"Aright, who is ready for tale of adventure? A tale of enchantment? A tale of heroism!?"
"Stanley, we were on your old fishing boat and we almost fell into the water because you were tipping it. There was no enchantment."
Both Stan and Ford were at the kitchen table with their grandniece and nephew, the two younger twins sitting with steaming cups of hot chocolate, ready to hear their great-uncles' tale of being out on the lake while they ran the Shack that day. Stan gave his twin a glare and waved him off, causing Ford to sigh and cross his arms.
"Well, that happened as well, but after the fact!" Stan continued, wiggling his fingers for effect. "We saw… a lake monster!"
"McGucket fixed his automatronic Gobblewonker?" Dipper asked excitedly, remembering his, Mabel's, and Soos's adventure during when fishing season opened that fateful summer.
"Automatronic?" Ford echoed curiously. "No… it wasn't a robot, although I am not surprised that Fiddleford would make one."
"Well, he also did make a robot to attack his ex-wife when she left him." Mabel pointed out, remembering the crazy old man mentioning that.
Ford cocks a gray eyebrow. "Okay then…" he drew out the word "okay". "That must've been after he quit the portal project. I knew his wife wasn't too happy that he had left home to come help me."
Stan waved his hands in frustration. "LET ME TELL MY TALE, DAMN IT!" he shouted, causing both Waddles and Orion, who were by their owners' feet, to jump up and rush out of the kitchen. "It wasn't a robot… I don't fight robots."
"What about that badger…?" Mabel asked, stifling a smile.
"THAT NEVER HAPPENED!"
"Yeah, didn't you get your ass handed to you?" Dipper laughed.
"IT NEVER HAPPENED!" Stan gives a cough as the younger twins laughed at him. "Okay, laugh it up, hardee har har." Stan said sarcastically.
"But Stan is right, we did see a lake monster," Ford helped out his twin.
"Are you sure?" Dipper questioned, still a little skeptical due to his past encounter.
Ford gives a large smile. "Robots don't bleed blood," he simply said as he took a small vial out of his lab coat. The vial was filled with a dark orange liquid. "I will be studying this later, so you two can join me if you want."
"Ew." Mabel groaned as Dipper exclaimed "Yeah!"
"The lake monster was huge, practically bigger than this house!" Stan began, his arms in the air as he wiggled his fingers. "It was a dark green, with scaly skin! It was like a dinosaur in water!"
"They did have dinosaurs that lived in water, Grunkle Stan…" Dipper pointed out.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever, pipe down Mr. Know-it-all Jr.," Stan brushed him off. "Anyway, Ford and I were fishing when all of a sudden we saw a ripple in the water…"
"Whoa, Sixer, what the hell was that?" Stan asked gruffly, him pointing at the ripple in the water.
"Probably some bird dropping a rock or a branch while flying over us," Ford guessed, him taking samples of the lake water. "Hmmm… I wonder what kind of anomalies live here…?"
"Maybe that ripple had one… or the one right now." Stan said again, him seeing another ripple in the water.
Suddenly, a wave raised the boat and it splashed back in the water, the cold, gray liquid spilling into the old Stan-O-War fishing boat. There were normally small waves in the lake, due to the moon's gravitational pull, but there shouldn't have been that big of a wave with no high winds or other boats around.
Ford peers over the fishing boat, his eyes squinting into the dark water. He only saw his reflection, until something slithered beneath it and distorted his reflection. Intrigued, Ford gets his fishing pole and puts one of the fish he had caught earlier and places onto the hook, stabbing it through the mouth so that the fish didn't come loose.
"Um… Stanford, what are you doing?" Stan asked his brother. "That was gonna be for dinner ya know…"
"Hush now," Ford lightly chided. "I think you may be right about something living in the water." He did a determined grin and casted off the line, the fish plopping into the water with a small splash. "Now… we wait."
"I have a bad feeling about this…" Stan admitted.
The two old men screamed loudly and fell in the boat as it lurched forward. The boat was moving at a high speed, much higher than the simple motor could ever do, waves of water splashing over the twins' faces, both cough from the gray water going up their nose.
Ford stands up, trying to keep a tight grip on the fishing pole when all of a sudden it snapped and fell into the water. The boat then stopped abruptly, as if something was holding it, and Ford nearly fell over the side of the boat if Stan hadn't grabbed him. The two peered over the sides, both seeing a dark figure swimming underneath.
"The hell is that!?" Stan whispered, worry in his tone.
"I don't know… it looks like some sort of large reptilian monster…" Ford replied softly.
"Like the Loch Ness Monster?" Stan guessed.
Ford gives him a glare. "That is not a real thing, Stanley."
"After everything we've been through you say the Loch Ness Monster isn't real!?"
"SHHH!"
Another large wave lifts the boat, it nearly flying almost thirty feet backwards, as something was breaking the surface of the water. It rose and rose, exposing an extremely long neck, the head having a long snout. The neck continued to grow from the water, both Stan and Ford having to arch their backs just to see the beast. Once it was at its full height, it blinked yellow eyes.
"Maybe it's friendly?" Stan suggests with a shrug, Ford returning the shrug.
The monster roared, its body thrashing and causing more waves and moving the boat about. Both Stand and Ford held tightly to the sides of the boats to keep themselves steady. Stan manages to grab one of the weapons that they had brought with them, a simple handgun with a clip of bullets.
Stan frowned at himself, thinking that a simple handgun is not going to work on this monster. It was like that movie "Jurassic Park", how is bullets going to stop a large man-killing dinosaur? It was the only line of defense that Stan had, so he pulls it out and aimed for the head, trying to get to the eyes.
"How the hell is this thing even in cold water!?" Ford shouted, him reaching for his interdimensional gun. "If its reptilian it has to be cold blooded, which means this water is too cold for it to survive-"
"Will you shut up with your nerd bullshit and try to get us out of here!?" Stan screams furiously at Ford. The response was Ford handing him the interdimensional weapon, Stan looking at it oddly.
"Use the freezing function on it, it works just like a regular gun," Ford quickly explained as he ripped the cord to start the small engine of the boat. "I'm counting on you, Lee, just point and shoot." Ford finally started the boat and it lurched forward, Stan putting his handgun to the side and gripping tightly to the gun his twin gave to him.
The settings seemed to be already set to the freezing function. Stan raised his hands, keeping his hands steady like using a regular gun, and he aimed. It took a minute or two to mentally think how the thing would shoot, him thinking as it was plasma it should shoot much easier than a bullet.
"Try to keep the boat steady!" Stan ordered as he was ready to pull the trigger. The monster lunged and Ford turned the boat to the right, causing Stan to fall down into the boat as he was not holding on to anything. "Steady… steady…"
Ford tried to keep the boat as steady as he could, only turning slightly to avoid large waves. "Get ready to shoot, Lee!" Ford called out.
"You got it, Sixer!" Stan called back. He pulled the trigger and the plasma beam shot at the monster's face, its head freezing into a block.
The monster whipped its head back and forth with its long neck, trying to get the ice off of itself. Ford whipped the boat around to have the head of the boat facing the monster. He holds out his hand and Stan knew that meant he wanted his gun again, so he gave it back. Ford then switches to a different setting and hands it back to Stan.
"That one is an electrical blast, it should be enough volts to scare it back into the depths of the lake," Ford explained to Stan quickly. Stan gives a frim nod as he once again held the interdimensional gun. "Stanley, I trust you. You can do it!"
Stan once again aims at the monster, it finally breaking the block of ice from its head. Some of the ice chunks fell and cut its scaly skin, a blood sample that Ford nearly fell overboard for to retrieve. The lake monster roared as it thrashed the water, causing giant waves and almost causing Ford and Stan to fall out of the boat. Determined, Stan holds his hands steady, ready to shoot. The monster opened its mouth for another roar and that was when Stan pulled the trigger, a beam of yellow the crackled from the gun shooting into the soft pallet of the mouth of the beast.
The monster roared in pain and anger. Stan kept his eyes on the beast, the gun raised and steady. His finger hovered over the trigger, the monster starting to lower itself back into the lake. It gave a little weak roar and soon its head was back under the water, bubbles popping the surface.
"You did it, Lee!" Ford cheered, almost similar to when the two were young children when the two went on their adventures.
"Yeah!" Stan cheered back, him holding up a free hand. "High six?"
"HIGH SIX!"
The two clapped their hands together with such a forced that the boat almost tipped, them yelping and trying to keep balance so that they would not plunge into the dark water.
"And that's how I saved the day!"
Stan concluded his story, him somehow ending up standing on the kitchen chair with a foot on the table in a dramatic pose. He had his eyes closed with a large smile plastered on his face, his left hand tucked into his jacket like he had seen captains do on TV. Ford rolled his eyes but nonetheless had a smile on his face as well, him giving a soft golf clap.
"Wow, Grunkle Stan!" Mabel shouted excitedly. "That sounded amazing!"
"Hey, in the summer when the weather is warmer we should all go hunting for it!" Dipper suggested with enthusiasm.
Ford nods with agreement. "Of course, Dipper, we will hunt… um, what did you call it?"
"The Gobblewonker!" the younger twins told him in unison.
Ford laughs, "Yes, we will study the Gobblewonker as a family."
"We gotta bring Soos and Melody too!" Mabel piped in. "Oh, and Wendy!"
"And Pacifica, George, and don't forget Gideon too." Dipper then adds.
"We'll be together like a large, abnormal family!" Stan then said, him stepping off from the table and giving his twin grandnephew and niece a hug. "C'mere ya knuckleheads!" He then began to give the noogies, causing both the younger twins to shout and laugh at him to stop.
"Yeah… like a large, normal family," Ford said aloud with a large smile, seeing his brother and the kids laughing and smiling.
A/N: Hello everyone! I figured that I needed to post something a little light after the last couple chapters of "Layla's Lament" and even "Saturday at the Shack".
Happy Holidays and thanks for reading as always!
~Skye Hendersen~