Taylor's POV

It's lucky the Boss works out like a demon otherwise his heart would have burst with the shit he's been carrying around. First as a kid and then as a teen, I still don't know what happened when he was a kid, no-one ever mentions it, he hasn't volunteered it and the records are sealed. I tried finding out soon after I started working for him and was woken by his screaming and thinking that he was being murdered. I'll never forget that first time when I saw the abject terror in his eyes, the anguish as the terror reduced and then the aftermath, the shaking, the hours trying to calm himself at the piano playing maudlin music.

It still hits me every time it happens so whatever it was that happened in the past must have been horrific if willingly being fucked over and being beaten up by the witch was preferable to that.

Now I wonder if any of the trauma relates to the witch and whatever she did to him, for fuck's sake, he was 15! I have always hated what he did in that red room but those women go in there willing and keep going in there and they are all of age and consenting, I've seen the forms, I've seen how happy they are, they know what they're getting into but I really hope it's going to be finished now, I don't want Miss Steele in that room.

I don't know if the Boss has totally released himself from the witch's powers and whether I can arrange for the witch to simply disappear, I would happily do time if they caught me but they wouldn't catch me, I have my means. Somehow though I think she still has her claws in his mind, she's been part of his life for more than half of it because she must have spent a couple of years before she did anything with him, finding out all the relevant information from Grace and from being a part of their family group, grooming them all, not just the Boss.

Talking about powers, I wonder what it is about Ana that has the power over him, none of us know what her story is but if she is to use her power, I hope it is for good only and not evil because there is no way that I can protect him from her. She seems to be his life force at the moment and it is a wonder to behold but if she turns on him, it will destroy him completely.

I swear I must be going soft because I look at him cradling her face as he gives her a kiss and feel teary, since when have I ever felt teary?! She looks so small and helpless in the bed, the massive cast engulfs her lower half, the sling holds her arm in place, there are breathing monitors, heart rate monitors and the elimination tubes and all I want to do is make sure that no more harm ever comes to her – both for her sake and for the Boss's sake.

I look at Carrick and he's wiping his eyes as the Boss goes to stand and Ana sleepily opens her eyes and whispers, "You came back."

He simply says "I said I would."

However, the look on her face is of pure concern when she takes a good look at him and says "But you need to go and get some sleep, you're running on empty."

When he says flippantly "I'll sleep when I'm dead" she gasps and the tears immediately start rolling down her cheeks and she throws her arm up over eyes. That reaction to a throw-away line was so unexpected that my stomach clenches and the Boss looks devastated. He gently lifts her arm and says "I'm sorry Ana, it's just a line, a throw-away line, I'm so sorry, please don't cry, my god, I can't do anything today without upsetting someone, please calm down, think of your ribs, you're going to hurt yourself."

He gently wipes the tears with his thumbs and kisses her eyelids, she steadfastly keeps them closed but as she calms down with hiccups he grabs a tissue and she wipes her nose and finally opens her eyes and says fiercely "Don't even joke about it."

This man who still believes no-one loves him has the clearest example in front of him of what his loss would mean and I hope that she will be the one that starts getting it through to him what everyone else was trying to say back at his parents.

"Um ok" and he sounds like a boy that is suitably chastened and then he goes for diversion. "I'm sorry that I woke you but I'm glad you're awake because I brought you something for tomorrow, I apologise that I can't give it to you now because we need final approval from your doctor." She quirks her eyebrow at him, she really does manage to convey a lot with her face, given that the rest of her body is basically locked down. He continues "My housekeeper makes the most delectable chocolate cake and if the doctor says it is fine for you to eat solids, you can eat it tomorrow, I have put it in the fridge."

She glowers at him for a moment but with a smile and says "You know I will be dreaming about chocolate cake now and I'll make sure to ask the first doctor on their rounds tomorrow if I can have it, if I can, by the time you next get here, I will have perfected moving with all these attachments and cast and have eaten my cake."

He says with all seriousness "Hmm, I don't want you hurting yourself, maybe I'll take it home".

She snorts and smacks his knee, "Christian seriously! I promise not to move out of this bed and as if I could. You need sleep. Go!" and then because it looks like she is worried about his mental state and having chastised him, she smiles a cute shy smile and says "But thank you for coming back, the nightmare can be chased away by pleasant dreams of cooking and delicious food" and then her voice drops but I am sure she says "And you".

Thankfully, he either missed it or chose to humour the rest of us in the room and says "Well, once you know whether you can eat other foods please text me so that I can bring some of Mrs Jones' soup or anything else that you'd like and I'm sorry but we have to go," and he holds her head in his hands and what I think was going to be a quick kiss turns into something that has both Carrick and I turning and walking out to give them some privacy.

I don't really want to go to sleep tonight with the image of her hand in his hair and the groans albeit quiet emanating from them both. She is going to be the death of all of us – I see some very long and arduous exercise sessions in my very near future.

Christian's POV

I'm so tired I just can't feel my body at this point and I can't believe I upset Ana with that comment, it was pretty damn insensitive given how many times she has been close to death in the last two days.

God she's beautiful, so broken though, maybe why I can relate to her, she's broken physically but I'm wrecked mentally, I know I am. How am I going to support her without transferring my 50 shades to her but she needs to know. How am I going to tell her about the whole screwed up mess we are in? My family has only heard a tiny fraction and looked shattered, what is it going to do to her, what is it going to do to us? I really want there to be an "us".

That last kiss took me all my strength to pull away from, her hand in my hair, her taste, her lips, she unravels me every time she touches me. And I like it and I can't believe how much I need her, I just want to crawl into bed next to her and hold her, let her goodness transfer to me, it's an impossible dream but maybe if I imagine that, I can displace all the other crap that is running around my head.

Walking back to the car, no-one says anything, neither Taylor or Dad look at me and I gather that last kiss might have embarrassed them, hmm, another reason to kiss Ana, if it means everyone leaves us alone. She makes me feel good. She makes me feel right. Oh good lord, I think they're the lyrics from a song, lordy lordy I'm thinking in song lyrics – god help us!

Now we have to see Flynn and with Dad no less. How the hell did going to dinner with my parents end up being the worst night of my life, could it get any worse? I have a feeling it will, Flynn has promised to let me know everything that Cecilia said and from his tone of voice, I think my assumptions this morning must have been correct in some manner.

Once in the car, I realise that I am going to need to bring Dad up to speed otherwise he is going to be completely blindsided by what he hears with Flynn and I need to at least prepare him and ask him not to tell my Mom, she doesn't need this shit in her head. "Dad, you're going to need to keep this information under legal privilege and not disclose it to Mom, do you still want to be part of it? Will you make sure not to tell her?" He responds that he does not keep secrets from Mom and has never done so in all the years that they have been married but as a lawyer, he knows there is material that cannot be disclosed and it is that material he will not be disclosing. I am guessing that anything that relates to me will be passed on and I can't believe I'll be hurting my mother again and again, I can't stand it but there is nothing I can punch in the vehicle so I just grit my teeth and fall back against the headrest trying to figure out what he needs to know.

I text Flynn a simple message. "FYI: Carrick, Grace, Elliot and Taylor all now know about Elena. Carrick is with me to assist with legal representation."

And I almost chuckle at the response: "How do you feel about that?"

My response: "Really? That standard question? Nothing original?"

I can't believe he texted me his stock standard question. I don't actually know how I feel about it in a way that I can express. I feel devastated. I feel that now they know I am a monster that they will start drawing away from me. I feel confused because they haven't acted like that but perhaps once they've had time to think, they will. I feel surprised that Grace was so distraught. I feel exhausted but strangely, I feel a little lighter, like this huge secret has finally been lifted off my shoulders.

I relent and text Flynn, "Ok, I'm somewhat confused with a myriad of different emotions but we'll investigate this another day, I just needed to let you know that Carrick will be there and assisting legally."

I close my phone and address the elephant in the car, "Dad, just so you know, you're going to be hearing stuff that you don't want to hear and I'm sorry. Do you want me to go through it now or just wait until the other legal staff are hearing it as well?"

"Just the basics son so I don't look like the complete idiot I am for having missed it all happening around me" he says and I realise that the fallout is more than just for me, Carrick is well known in legal circles and the fact that he missed this happening under his nose could well diminish his reputation. Ah Crap, my deception is hurting more and more people and I wish I could just escape it all – run away and not have to do this.

Deep breath. "The basics are: I was in a BDSM relationship with Elena from age 15 to 21 and she has facilitated my BDSM lifestyle since .." Carrick holds up his hand and says in a breaking voice "I'll hear the rest with everyone else, I don't want to hear it twice and I'm sure you don't want to say it twice."

And we pull into the carpark at Escala and head up the elevator, no-one saying anything, I guess everyone is turning everything they have heard in the last few hours over in their minds or most likely wondering what other pearlers they'll hear from me tonight, just how depraved my life has been, quite the reasoning behind it all and how it all relates to Anastasia lying broken in hospital. Yes, everyone is just about to find out how fucked up my life really is and all I want to do is go to bed.

We step out of the elevator and I am shocked to see Mrs Jones comforting someone in the big room and I can't think who it might be, Taylor stiffens next to me as well until they turn around and I see it is Elliot. He looks a mess and I don't understand.

"What are you doing here?" I ask confused, I don't understand why he is in tears and looks like he is falling apart and then he shocks me as he starts a verbal stream of consciousness that doesn't allow me any time to provide any answers.

"I didn't protect you Christian, I'm your big brother and I said I'd always protect you and I. Didn't. Do. That. I'm so so sorry, I don't know what to say. Why didn't you tell me? How the hell did it all start? What did she do to you? Every time I walked away when she was around, was that when she got to you? How did you hide everything away from me, we spend time together and I'm always ribbing you about not having girlfriends and joking about you being gay and in the meantime, you were hiding a huge fucking secret from all of us – when did you do this? I just don't understand. Why, why… argh god, I just fucked up so bad. I'm SO sorry!"

He is holding my shoulders and looking into my eyes and I don't know what to say, where to start so I close down and he just shakes his head "See, you do that and you hide, fuck and we let you, maybe we should have pushed." And I am sure it is disgust on his face as he takes his hands down and buries his head in them.

I don't deal well with emotions, I don't know what to do in the situation and all I can say wearily is, "I'm sorry."

Before I can say any more Elliot says "What the fuck are you sorry for? I can't believe you've dealt with all of this and none of us knew." And he stands there staring at me and chokes out "Fuck Fuck Fuck. Why were you still friends with that fucking pedophile? Why are you business partners with her?"

Before I have a chance to answer because right now I am wondering how my life has panned out like this and how I can possibly explain it, John Flynn walks in and says "Because she has controlled him all this time without him realising it, it's not his fault" and I really want to believe him but I know I consented to everything all these years so I guess I am just as screwed up as her.

I just want to disappear but to protect Ana and so many other people, I need to be here and I need to participate, my fuckedupness needs to be put to a side, Elliot is right, I have to stop hiding.