A Quick Note: This chapter is only 2,020 words without the author's note. Don't be scared by the apparent length.
The trees glimmered, evening dew and sap dangling off the branches. A heavy weight of darkness descended upon the location. The sun dipped through the sky, descending toward the ground.
Tayuya glanced around the trees. She sighed. "Fine." She raised her hand. "This calls for a change in plans."
Naruto drew back his hand. A Whirlwind Bullet built on his palm. "I'm gonna stop you from doing this!"
Shikamaru drew in a tight breath. Though I snapped myself out of her illusion last time, it might not work again. The shadow snaked along the edge of the tree branch. I have to move while she's thinking. If I can take her by surprise, I can undoubtedly win.
"I surrender." Tayuya raised her hands. She stepped forward, her expression calm and distant.
The pair fell silent.
"Eh? Come again?" Shikamaru questioned, his brow dripping with sweat.
"Huh?!" Naruto demanded.
"I'm aware you guys don't have an interest in killing me violently, as Kimimaro would. I also have info that's useful to the Leaf. So I forfeit. I surrender." Tayuya sat down on the branch, her hands palm-up.
"Hah?! This woman is totally insane." Naruto tensed.
"Unconditional surrender?" Shikamaru questioned, his face growing stern.
Tayuya shook her head from side to side. "I'm not some dumbass like that kid. I get to decide the terms of my surrender."
"Certainly, you're not an idiot. On the contrary, you're the second most interesting female I've dealt with." Shikamaru grinned, tilting his head slightly upwards. He cushioned his head with his palms against the branch. "The first being a girl named Temari from the Sand. Well."
Tayuya waited impatiently.
Shikamaru looked up at the clouds before answering. "Well, as you've probably guessed already, I personally can't offer you amnesty. I also don't know what will happen when we get back. But I can assure you I'll do my best to make sure you get your conditional surrender." He yawned. "Now release Naruto-kun. At this point, I have enough chakra left to make a difference, but Kabuto isn't with Kōju by the compound anymore, anyway. She'll be fine. Sasuke is already involved, you see."
"Huh." Tayuya grinned. "Looks like you got a brain on your shoulders after all." She hopped off the branch. "Let's return to Hidden Leaf."
"We have a ninja to recover." Shikamaru frowned. "We have no choice but to continue onward, even if we're putting ourselves in greater danger by doing so."
Tayuya's eyes widened. Doesn't he get that Kimimaro wouldn't go down that easy? No matter who he was up against, he'd win!
"I hope she hasn't done something irreparable." Shikamaru rose. He looked wearily into the distance. "I'll go look—"
"I'll handle it!" Naruto grinned. He held out his hands. "Shadow Clone Technique!"
Clones rushed forward through the forest.
Tayuya leapt after the clones. Even given how much he's stronger, it'll take us time. I need to start coming up with a plan.
Shikamaru frowned. He glanced sideways. "How much chakra do you have left?" he questioned, glancing toward Tayuya.
"Not enough," Tayuya replied with a deadpan expression. She looked upward. "How should I put it? Kimimaro had a degenerative blood disease, and he's only standing now because he believes in Orochimaru. If it weren't for that, he'd be dead. Fuck it. Fuck him. He's a descendant of the Kaguya clan, so he's pretty impressive. Mind you, I'm willing to bet he's not even comparable to the progenitor of the clan."
Flight
Bone pillars lay across the ground. Dust coated the ground in a fine layer, a deep white. The plains broke open, gashes and fissures forming across the earth. The grass rested motionless.
Tayuya's eyes widened. She stared at the bone fragments strewn across the ground. Someone came along strong enough to beat Kimimaro? No, even cutting up his bones like this is some kind of miracle. Forcing him this far is something no one has done since Sound Four attacked him together. Maybe he's still alive, but he's damaged. Somehow, someone came along strong enough to beat him. She drew in a swift breath. I guess I picked the right side.
Blood covered the ground.
"Ah!" A faint sound echoed through the forest.
"Sasuke-chan?!" Naruto rushed forward.
Tayuya gritted her teeth. "Idiot! Be more careful!" Maybe he's still alive. If he's preparing a trap, we're in trouble if this meathead rushes off into it.
Flight
The waterfall rushed down beside the faces of the two warriors. Water sprayed the sides of the waterfall, glimmering brightly in the colors of the rainbow. Two people stood atop the head of Hashirama.
"If you ever manipulate me again like that! IF YOU EVER MAKE ME FEEL THAT SHITTY FOR WHAT'S EQUIVALENT TO A PRANK, I WILL FUCKING SPANK YOU UNTIL YOUR BUTT TURNS PERMANENTLY RED!" Sasuke's eyes blazed as she slapped Kōju hard across the face.
Kōju gasped. "OW!" she shouted. "That hurts!"
"Well, you deserve it!" Sasuke bellowed.
"What's, er?" Shikamaru's face dripped with sweat.
"She did all this to try to get a lead on Orochimaru. I suppose I should be thankful that she didn't really betray us, but she's trying to prove she's our equal by performing espionage." Sasuke gritted her teeth, her eyes red with tears. "Tried. And you know what she did? You know what happened? She was going to get into his compound, at great risk to herself and us and uncover him? You know—" She broke down, sobbing.
"Erm." Shikamaru's face developed a solid sheet of sweat.
Naruto rushed forward. "Thank god it was something like that!" He wrapped his arms around Kōju.
Kōju sobbed loudly, her eyes wide.
"Yeah, real touching and all, but we've got things to attend to, right? Now's not the time." Tayuya questioned. "Let's recover the others and get back to Hidden Leaf. Also, we've got to bury my teammates." Her voice grew serious as she looked down at the stone.
Naruto scowled.
Sasuke nodded.
Kōju rubbed her eyes.
Flight
The iron walls glimmered. Iron bars wrapped around the prison. The sunlight poured through the window, shining against the window.
Ibiki scowled. He folded his arms. "She's demanding to speak to you, Hokage."
Tsunade lowered her head. She stepped forward, walking into the room.
The hands folded on the table. Tayuya looked upward calmly at Tsunade. "I'm not saying shit. Not without a deal." Her body remained motionless.
"I don't have to honor your words."
"Naturally not." Tayuya smirked. "But this is how negotiation works. We offer deals to each other. Eventually one of us takes the other's deal. Get it?"
Tsunade's eyes narrowed. She slammed her fist against the table.
The table snapped in half.
"I can make you disappear."
"But if you make me disappear for one moment of gratification, you'd be a shitty Hokage." Tayuya smirked. She leaned backward calmly.
Tsunade's eyes narrowed.
"I have information on Orochimaru. Useful information. I was a member of his inner circle. But if you make me disappear here, you aren't getting that info."
Tsunade lowered her hand. "Fine. I'm listening."
"Number one; get me a medium rare steak. Number two; I don't feel like dying in this steel shithole. I walk, or no deal."
"Out of the question. You're a risk. You're quite capable of treachery. You've already done it once before." Tsunade's eyes narrowed. She leaned forward. "Do you think we're stupid?"
"Okay, drop the steak. I'd like to get instated as a shinobi. If I can't be completely free, I'll at least work for this person before me." Tayuya frowned. She folded her hands together across her stomach.
"We don't have any open teams." Tsunade dismissively turned away, studying the window.
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but you're that nurse slut who kept suggesting that shinobi be in teams of four with one medical expert. Am I right?"
Tsunade's eyebrow twitched. "My patience is not infinite."
"Let me join Team Seven." Tayuya extended her hand.
"…" Tsunade's eyes narrowed.
"You know it's possible, right? You understand that much."
"Fine. I'll get you in. However, I will bind your fate to theirs. If you run off, it reflects on them."
Tayuya's eyes narrowed.
Flight
The TV blared. The green couch glimmered, reflecting the image. The house's door closed, a wind blowing through the slats in the room.
Kōju adjusted her position. "Awesome!" she shouted, grinning. "I didn't know Yukie Fujikaze was so nice!"
Obviously very nice. Signing autographs? I guess that's new for her as a result of that work. Sasuke smiled. She moved Kōju on her body.
Naruto leaned closer. He lifted the bag of chips. "We all need to get a lot stronger," he stated, his face crimson.
Sasuke blinked.
"We lost."
"Idiot." Sasuke hit Naruto over the head with two fingers.
Naruto blinked.
"We achieved our objective, and nobody died." Sasuke leaned closer. "M…more importantly…" She cleared her throat. "I'm thankful that we're all here."
Naruto blinked. "Are you crying?"
"Shut up!" Sasuke's eyes glistened.
"Emperor, you're crying." Naruto sighed. His voice trembled. "I agree, it's scary."
Kōju gasped. "My god! You're all making me so happy." Her lip trembled. "HAREM END GO!"
Naruto and Sasuke both fell silent. They stared at Kōju with blank, emotionless expressions.
"No, I—uh—" Kōju stammered, her hands shaking. "Um—"
The door opened.
Sasuke looked upward. Her eyes widened.
"Yo." Tayuya waved offhandedly. She sat down on the couch. "What're you watching?"
"You'll need to discuss more regarding this issue." Sasuke frowned. "I was under the impression you were one of our enemies."
Tayuya sighed wearily. "Look, I'm not your enemy."
"Could've fooled me," Sasuke muttered.
"I forfeited that role, and now I'm a Leaf shinobi. I've been assigned to your team." Tayuya paused. She lowered her voice. "Look, I'm sorry about earlier. If I'd known I was going to end up on your team, I'd've done some shit differently."
"Close the door. You're letting a draft in." Sasuke turned her gaze entirely away from the television. She paused, reflecting on the relative acts.
Naruto scowled.
Sasuke cleared her throat. "I don't object to you joining our team." She looked downward. "Kōju-san?"
"Yep! I'm good with it!" Kōju remarked, grinning. "Take care of me, onee-san!"
"Onee—" Tayuya winced. Her cheeks flushed.
"That's two to one." Kōju pointed at Naruto.
Naruto remained silent.
"Make it two to two." Nōtō stepped into the room. "I'm not certain I trust this demon."
Naruto stared at the television screen.
Tayuya's eyes narrowed. "You're one to talk, heretic priest."
"Hold it. I didn't actually say my vote yet." Naruto looked upward. "You're really smart. Even Shikamaru couldn't beat you. He's the smartest person I know, so clearly you're smart too."
Tayuya's eyes narrowed. "You're smarter than you look."
"I may not really like you, but you're really a brilliant and honest person. I don't know enough to call you a demon. As is the case with that, I already have one inside me. My vote is yes."
Nōtō paused in the doorway. He rubbed his temples. After several moments, he returned to his room.
"Anyway, what is this?" Tayuya questioned. She sat down on the couch, watching the moving images on the screen.
"Yukie Fujikaze's Adventure in the Land of Snow!" Kōju cheered, throwing her hand in the air.
Guess we did change her. Sasuke smiled. Everything's beginning to change.
A/N: This note is LONG. So be aware of that. The first chapter of Side Arcs will be published later today, as promised, but I'd like to warn you in advance that the list of differences and why they exist is pretty long.
50th Chapter Specifics
Changes Made Per Arc.
The World.
Before any other part of anything else, I'd like to establish one very simple and straightforward fact: this world is not the same as Naruto's world. It is a fanfiction set in an alternate universe with many of the same characters and origins. This means that things are going to change—ability names and effects, some character details, and so on. I'm stating this because in previous reviews, questions I have already addressed are raised as issues. This is an irritating complaint, because I've already addressed it. If you're not going to read my author's notes which explain why things were changed, I'm not going to copy-paste the explanation for changes into the opening of every chapter; only the relevant ones will have these notes. Please, please, read the author's notes so that I feel I'm accomplishing something by writing these. If I keep receiving questions that indicate the questioner hasn't read the notes explaining that change, I'm going to go insane before I'm thirty. If, on the other hand, you've read those notes and still have complaints, please express them to me.
Animism. One major change is that most of the world has spirits. While this isn't to my mind an important change, as it doesn't affect the major plot's development or course, it is relevant in that locations, animals, and plants will most likely have spirits, thus changing the world slightly.
Soul Advancements. This concept won't have a single bit of relevancy until Part II, probably, but it's the largest change in the entire system. The concept of a Soul Advancement is pretty complicated. However, essentially, what it comes down to is that, in this universe, anyone can have interesting abilities. How does it work? In times of distress or when someone is near death, their emotions running high, there's a chance that a chemical switch inside their brain gets flipped and they gain unique abilities specific to themselves. In other words, it's a change resulting from extreme need. One universal power granted by this is long-life. In the present world, soul advancements have disappeared almost without exception. That exception is Pein.
Why Abilities are in English. The primary reason behind that, I suppose, is straightforward. I wrote abilities in English because I wanted to distinguish them from shinigami/Arrancar abilities. Had my native language been Portuguese or Italian, for example, I would have written them in those languages. In the case where these abilities have a specific reference to Japanese culture (i.e. Amaterasu), I have left these abilities as they are.
Team Seven's Start
Yes, the shinigami Raito (otherwise known as a projected form of what Light Yagami became after his death) is involved. He'll have considerably more of a role per the Bleach rewrite, as he is connected to shinigami rather than shinobi. His cameo here mainly cemented the connection between the two worlds, as well as indicated that Raito started out the Bleachverse.
Choosing to seal the yin chakra rather than the yang chakra does not mean that I intend to make Naruto a genjutsu master. The reason for the yin chakra comes down to later plans regarding the yang spare chakra. I should also note that he is not ridiculously overpowered until the end, and even then his opponents will be just as strong. Naruto is not going to have things easy; his happy end will come at a cost if it comes at all.
Having said that, I plan to have fun along the way for sure, and I plan to have a great ending.
The first part of Naruto has been done a million different ways. The first chapter has been written at least two thousand different ways by people wanting to take a different perspective on things. For my part, it's necessary to rewrite it in keeping with my vision of the story, but the essential events will likely not change in excess.
Another storytelling technique that I wanted to explore in this version was the concept of introducing most important characters in the first arc, namely the members of Team Seven. In the case of the individual teammates, who I consider more important to the story than their mentor, I wanted to bring them in as early as possible, so each has what I would consider a cameo role in the first chapter.
Sarutobi is the most powerful Hokage. That's non-negotiable; given that Kishimoto said in three databooks straight that Sarutobi was the most powerful Hokage, he is the most powerful at his prime. However, his prime is not right now. I wanted to demonstrate this point early on, so I used the wards of his power to show how powerful he really is.
The scroll of forbidden techniques, to me, needed both a name and a history. I've already written up a brief description of its history, and it may come up again later.
Why did I choose to introduce an original character in Sakura's place?
Mostly it comes down to character traits demonstrated before the time-skip. Sakura doesn't demonstrate good traits in the first part and shows very little growth on-screen. By contrast, both Naruto and Sasuke develop quickly in many respects, both in personality and power. Again, this is only my opinion, but I decided to test writing a different character and explore her development rather than Sakura's. If you like Sakura, either post-time-skip or pre-time-skip, I approve. I respect that. But it's not accurate to the story I plan to tell. Kōju, therefore, was my substitute, which caused major changes over time. If I were to rewrite the story, I'd try to rewrite Kōju as not a Hatake.
Why skip Konohamaru?
Kishimoto didn't make him important enough, even with his cameo in Part II, and Naruto already has more than enough rivals for the position of Hokage. Even Shikamaru fits in there somewhere. At this point in the story, Konohamaru is of little importance.
Why is Sasuke female? I'm tired of it!
This one comes down to laziness more than anything else. A majority of the story of my Bleach fanfiction is already written, and in it Sasuke appears as a female. It would be rather difficult to switch genders, though I have decided to ensure that Sasuke conceals her true gender most of the time. Another reason to do this is to counter Kishimoto's surprising lack of concern for women and neglect for their characters, something that concerned me.
This is a harem fic. It's one that will (I will at least try to) make sense in universe, but it's a harem fic. So this chapter introduces some of the tropes and conventions to make that work.
Sasuke's falsified gender does have a reason, and I'll go into that later, but for now it's important merely to note that she is falsifying it.
Kōju is ten, so any true involvement—seriously at any rate—at this point would be more than a little creepy. Right now she's basically like most girls at that age, at least per my experience, imagining a happy life with people. On the other hand, she is biromantic and (likely) bisexual, so that perception is different. In addition, Kakashi, a single father, raised her, so her notions of things are naïve but tainted with certain paint.
Why is Kōju Kakashi's kid?! There's no way that can be right!
It comes down to a desire to have niches for each character. Naruto, at its beginning, was a character that wasn't destined for greatness; he kicked fate to the curb and rose through his own work and not his parents' positions. Sasuke's 'niche' was originally murder and vengeance, as described by the original work. Sakura had the niche of… The heart? Something like that? In the end, coming up with an answer to that question is pretty vague, so I wanted a separate niche—in this case, the niche is a legacy from Kōju's father, the legacy of the clan.
Why a different jōnin trainer?
After having decided that Kōju was a Hatake, I had to consider Kakashi's parenting style, and I decided that it was a mixture of indulgence and obsession. Kakashi, if Kōju was placed on his team, would focus exclusively on her to the exception of all else, meaning that Naruto and Sasuke both would have no bond to their trainer. Not wanting to deprive another team of a connection to their jōnin, I created a new one. Again, if I were to rewrite this from the start, I would begin by figuring out some way to not connect Kōju to Kakashi.
Certain ties between Nōtō and canon, for me at least, needed to be made. Having said that, I have determined some of Nōtō's history, but don't want to go through it. His appearance will not radically change things, but fits in with the current perception of Fire for me. So there's that.
Sasuke is very much a dual-natured kind of person. Her outward appearance as a male clashes with her nature as a female; therefore, there are discrepancies with the truth of her answers. However, as this is her introduction to the reader as well as to the page, I wanted to ensure her position here.
Nōtō takes most inspiration from the character of Kenshiro, of Fist of the North Star fame, so his fighting style bases around something similar to the canonical Gentle Fist style of the Hyūga. However, the ability does not require the Byakugan. He has some similarities to JoJo as well, but that is too good a series for me to even approach writing.
Why is Kyuubi female? It's stupid! Demons shouldn't have a gender!
Typically, my reason for this comes down to a combination of two factors.
Number one, jinchūriki can only have a tenant/bound spirit of the opposite gender. This is generally influenced by the concept of Jungian shadow selves, a preferable view—in my opinion, at least—to Freud's view. This also indicates that balance is necessary, a common theme in manga.
Number two, the mythology of kitsune paints the majority as female, and willing to cause damage in… well, at least different ways than a giant rampaging demon fox. As a nod to the original series, I've retained at least the nature of the yang kitsune as giant rampaging demon fox, but the part of Kyuubi sealed in Naruto is female and has different methods.
The Redhead. This is Tayuya, who formerly worked for Hidden Leaf prior to defecting. Her presence here is somewhat significant, but by this point people have probably realized why.
Wave
Mahjong in general is a game that requires high perceptions, so it's perfect to train ninja in observation. It has the side benefit, however minor, of testing luck. I cannot provide a lengthy primer on the rules of Mahjong. In short, Mahjong is a game of strategy and luck relying on a variety of tiles, and is not dissimilar to poker in some respects. It is, however, considerably more complicated. For more information, take a look at Mahjong Legend Akagi or Legendary Gambler Tetsuya; the latter if you don't like art that makes One Piece look like a normal shōnen series.
Missions are of course first brought to the associated Kage; however, that Kage also sends on the mission to the residence of the team ordered to pick it up. This helps to divert suspicion for high-ranking officials who request missions. It also allows localized protection before the mission.
Changing the escortee also occurred for a reason; however, this reason will not become relevant until Part II. As such, I will not discuss it any further for now.
Adding complexity to the situation of Hidden Wave occurred because I wanted the other nations to show up as competent rivals early on. That is to say, no weakling Great Nations, no incompetent Mist, et cetera. The average strength of the Great Nations, at this point in time, is relatively balanced.
And Zabuza—well, we'll get there.
Why are there seven Great Nations? That doesn't make any sense! There are only five!
For me personally, the situation of the Great Nations was too stable for something like Akatsuki to throw it off course. In the worst case, a group formed of member nations would have driven it out a long time ago, dealing with the threat by a quick extermination. In that case, the possibility of the balance of power suddenly falling out would be unlikely. Shinobi historically tended to prioritize stability over risks. Thus, I added two Great Nations to the list in order to keep Akatsuki as a potential threat. Hidden Rain is rusting somewhat like Hanzō due to various wars, causing it to lose power relative to its neighbors. Meanwhile, Hidden Frost was largely powerless until recently, making it a serious threat due to a recent influx of wealth and summoning contracts. Consequently, power is unbalanced and may lead to war.
Why make Pillars of Shinobi?
The reason for this was fairly tenuous. I grant that much freely, and I'm willing to change the idea. However, in my mind, these 'Pillars of Shinobi' were representative of the systems maintaining the current system of shinobi. When these pillars were toppled, the world could move forward. In addition, these seven Pillars represented nearly undefeatable power, thus making it a power rank superior to Kage.
The Zabuza fight, and the fighting in general, weren't as good as I was hoping, and upon rereading, I'm inclined to agree that it needed more work. I'm not a spatial person, so working out how fights go, where people are standing, and that kind of thing is not my strength, even remotely. The tone was good, but actually getting across where people are going is probably more important. If someone would be willing to help me do that, I'd appreciate it.
This is only somewhat related, but I decided that each nation had a group of 'technicians', people who could accomplish things that other people in the nation, as well as other nations, could not. For example, Hidden Mist swordsmen can use Silent Killing. This is the reason berserkers exist. That's the reason for the presence of such organizations—again, to even out the nations somewhat more.
Miyama Kyakuzuki. Character-wise, I wanted to introduce a person from Hidden Frost before I showed many more details regarding Hidden Frost. I decided on Miyama after some thought, and made her personality at contrast with Nōtō's to present a rivalry between the pair. Miyama isn't especially more powerful than any other jōnin-level fighter, but has a knack for staying alive. Her presence permitted me to show a bit more of the conflict present over Hidden Wave.
Seideru Roha. This character is largely based around the filler character Yakumo Kurama. Her skills are not permanent, and last only a few seconds. However, she is nonetheless strong. The Seideru clan defected from Hidden Mist a couple decades ago, making her an escapee. She is present mainly to give Miyama an apprentice.
The training for Kōju necessarily had to be different, given her different skill set. She's particularly skilled using chakra, but can't efficiently use her strength, so an alteration was needed.
Sonozaki Mirai. Mirai's ability is connected to Furude Rika's ability, not Sonozaki's. However, the connection to the Sonozaki twins is intentional. While more backstory on her will be emerging in Part II, for now, I'll establish that the primary reason she was added initially was as an opponent for Miyama, and a counterpoint to Zabuza's cold-blooded professionalism. Mirai's power, in a sense, allows her to replay events, letting her see attacks before they happen.
A Ragtag Bunch. The team members of Kisan were essentially children Gatō found and bought, making Kisan the only free and happy person present. At this point, I'll note that at some point I'm retconning Kōju's actions in killing the children, but I won't be going back to that yet.
Regarding the individual motivations of the characters, my intention was to give each of them a unique and important reason to win and beat Gatō, relative to their reasons for fighting.
Sasuke's Reason. Yes, Sasuke's a cool genius, but other things motivate her too. This includes the desire to protect those she sees as close friends and family, prior to Orochimaru's involvement.
The assault on Gatō's fortress, separate from the major battle, reflects the fact that this version of Gatō is more cautious and doesn't take as many risks. In the interests of restricting the amount of change initially, something that kept spiraling outward, I prevented Gatō from being involved with the battle.
Starting out the Haku fight as a team battle emphasized the importance of teamwork and the bond that develops between Sasuke and Naruto.
I'll be redoing Kōju's ending to her fight sometime between Parts I and II; I plan to spend most of the coming year adding new side arcs and revising what I've got so far before I plunge into the insanity that is Part II. (Rewriting and revising are different because in rewriting, you discard all previous material.) Regardless, this fight largely emphasizes how her character interacts with others in battle—her focus is logical interpretation combined with quick action. Thus far, this hasn't changed.
Nōtō's rather lengthy speech on battle tendencies emphasizes a simple and straightforward fact—people cannot be easily predicted. How people do when they actually get into a fight, as well as what they actually do, varies by case, something I've attempted to show throughout these chapters.
Kisan. Kisan is at the moment an enigma. As a character, she exists primarily for Part II's sake, which I'll elaborate more on, and her side arc, also a Part II artefact. Here, she exists to provide Kōju her more human moments.
Mirai's Ability. The ability is described briefly above, but can be seen as 'seeing another fragment' as Rika did. In essence, Mirai projects her vision into an alternate timeline in which the same situation happens, reacts to the image, and continues on.
Sasuke is a tsundere. 'Nuff said.
Sharingan-Sanzengan; Byakugan-Sanshigan: I stand by my statement in Chapter 14. Though I'm aware that this is probably the single event that has caused the most readers to drop my story, it's not important enough to the story that it should matter so much. The name an ability is called, and what it can do, should not shatter a character for readers. Character, not ability, is important in a series.
Jinchūriki becoming possessed by their Tailed Beasts. This is relative to my conception of Tailed Beasts, which states that it's difficult if not impossible to achieve unity with a being who despises your guts. Thus, jinchūriki have to use their abilities through giving over control to that being, making simultaneous control nigh-unachieved; thus far Master Rōshi is the only one to have accomplished this successfully.
Genkuro Atop the Tower: Genkuro is basically a villain in her present form. During Part II her relationship with Naruto changes, but in Part I she is essentially a villain without peer, making her actions important to characterize as villainous. However, this villainy does not make her entirely evil—she does, after all, prevent Haku's death. The trouble is how she accomplishes this.
Terumi Asahi: To make a long story short, I eventually decided to include this character, reluctantly, after noting that Mei's personality is not suited to marrying. Her personality is temperamental and emotional, but simultaneously she is intelligent and charming, a thinker as well as a swordswoman. More than anything else, I focused on Asahi's sense of justice and moral compass, significant to the series.
Yako. This ability was misspelled in the primary document; it should read Yako, not Yaka. This refers to spirit possession, typically ascribed to foxes, and refers to the genjutsu Genkuro used against Haku. Mind control is, generally speaking, an evil act, but I won't get into the semantics of why presently.
Nōtō's Speech: One of the more important segments of the story I've written up. Basically, shinobi in Naruto's world do face a number of important choices—what to do, who to believe in, and so on. The realization of this fact starts Naruto, Sasuke, and Kōju on the path toward their eventual goal, something that will, again, be addressed during Part II.
Chūnin Exams
More than any other arc, this one probably caused people the greatest sense of betrayal and desire to change readership. As with other arcs, I'll go in chronological order, though I suspect that the singular character to cause most people's ire was included near the end, not at the beginning.
Sasuke and Kōju's interaction marks the start of Kōju being ignored. Her character from here starts to feel that it's being abandoned, due to Sasuke's words and actions. Sasuke, meanwhile, remains obsessed with becoming stronger to beat her ally.
Again, unique motivation aimed at in this chapter.
Shikamaru getting involved as opposed to Sasuke, initially, is a hint toward the character's eventual potential. His presence suggests that at some point, he might have the status of a main character. While at present this doesn't happen in either Part I or Part II, it is nevertheless the intention of this scene—to indicate that Shikamaru might be an important character.
Gaara's Personality: Canonically, at this point Gaara hasn't been reformed, and due to the altered nature of Naruto's connection with his keeper and contract, it's unlikely that he'd survive a battle in his form at the time of the Exams. (Granted, part of this is his contract with foxes, which I'll get into later, but for now let's leave it at that.) Thus, Gaara's personality during Part I will not see much alteration from its original, violent one.
Chinmoku of the Furnace. I had originally planned to have this character show up during the Sasuke (Kōju) Rescue Arc. He has a connection to Orochimaru, hence his use of dragons. However, after some debate, I moved him here in order to give some background to a character that was (in my mind) capable of some degree of power, but not on the same rank as, say, Kabuto. His personality is somewhat difficult to describe, but can be best indicated as that of a hot-headed planner.
Neji and Sasuke. In general, I tried to ensure that each member of Team Seven had a close friend outside that group. Sasuke has an excellent connection with Neji, due to shared dislike of fate and similar skill and power.
Lee. Sasuke v. Rock Lee had to happen during some part of the Chūnin Exams—indeed, it's one of the better parts, necessary to advance onward and give more reason to change. Thus, the reason for the duel was slightly altered. The end of the duel is probably the biggest problem people have with it, but again, I feel that Kōju getting involved was both in character and suited the circumstances. While Gai could've appeared, I wanted the characters to avoid Deus ex Machina events.
Hisame. Hisame's backstory, as has become a seeming theme with these notes, is something I cannot reveal until Part II. However, I can give some more details on why I had her give information, as opposed to Kabuto. I wanted at least one 'genuine' shinobi to appear in the exams—someone who would be willing to cheat, lie, and provide false information in order to accomplish their mission. Hisame's purpose, if I were to place a purpose on her appearance, is to act as someone similar to the old order present in Hidden Rain. That order and consequently her personality will get changed, but that's a Part II thing.
Deikōgi's Team. Long story short, here is femDeidara. I decided at some length that if there was a significant change in a character, beyond gender or appearance, I would also change their name to distinguish them from their canonical counterpart. I've put down some notes on why Deidara's personality was changed earlier, but the details of that change were essentially to make her a kinder character. The reason for this is a potential connection with Naruto. Chinmoku's teammates have more relaxed, indifferent personalities, thus acting as a counter to Chinmoku's hot-temperedness.
Kiai. Kiai was largely a throwaway character intended to act as a sacrifice to Gaara, as well as to round out the team to a full three members. If I were to describe her personality, it would be as 'intelligent', 'polite', and 'calculating'.
Team Kyakuzuki. This team largely reflects the various types of people in Hidden Frost. Here I attempted to show the facets of Hidden Frost's powers, roughly emphasizing that they are a 'rising star' in this particular competition.
Kakashi as Examiner. As with most years, Kakashi this year did not receive a passing team. Given his primary connection to Anbu, I felt that it made sense to place him as the examiner in the first trial.
The first test was largely unchanged; more than anything else I wanted to focus on the various creative ways shinobi abilities could be altered to perform this kind of test. The only major alteration came from Kakashi's personality and sense of humor, something that would happen were he to run the exam.
In the survival exam, I wanted to emphasize Kōju's intelligence. It's somewhat strange that Kishimoto didn't have Sakura come up with the password idea, given her intelligence relative to Sasuke's in the databook. Nonetheless, here I wanted that intellect to be emphasized.
Tenten as Anko's Apprentice. There's no particular reason for this change; I just thought their personalities were amusing together. Also, Tenten was drastically misfortunate in her skills earlier in the series; it would be nice to see her with some degree of competence.
Again, the altercation with Orochimaru wasn't especially changed, beyond one or two minor points of spatial location.
Kōju using herbs is a hint toward her later profession as a medic-nin, something I've been planning since she first appeared as a character. The issue of the curse, in theory, should produce results requiring tending using herbs. The bond of the team begins developing here.
Team Dosu v. Team Seven. Here I wanted to describe the changes happening in the team. From an ungrouped, untrained set of rookies to a developed and connected team starts here—the bond between Team Seven develops here. That's what I wanted to do, but it seems that didn't work out according to plan, and this particular fight is not one I am happy with. I will revise it sooner or later.
Kuroi Unmei. His first appearance is technically here, though I don't directly introduce him. If Sharingan-Sanzengan is the decision of world-building that resulted in the most lost readers, Unmei is the single character that lost me the most readers. He has a number of the traits of Gary Stus in his present form, and seems entirely unnecessary. So why'd I put him in? There are a couple reasons behind that.
First of all, Unmei is in his purest form supposed to be arrogant and irritating. That's the case with the character he originally was, who presently he has forgotten. Due to his amnesia, I consider Unmei a separate character from the original character he was. What function does Unmei himself, the mask, serve? Unmei is a parallel to Naruto's potential future as Hokage.
Genuinely. As Unmei demonstrated at the Kage Summit, he's tone-deaf to situations, loud, and brash. Unlike Naruto, he has a certain amount of excessive natural talent. Like Naruto, he invented a useless Sexy Technique that wouldn't have any combat advantage, making it clear that in his youth he was more willing to make stupid decisions. Unmei is therefore a potential future for Naruto, and demonstrates that the current system of Kage is not possible to change as easily as some would like.
Chinmoku and Sage Mode. Chinmoku's use of Sage Mode is a clan-related ability. Which clan, again, I can't reveal until Part II.
What happened offscreen in training. Naruto attempted using the Summoning Technique without having signed the scroll. He was immediately teleported to the fox realm. After signing a contract there, he was eventually sent back using a fox technique. Since it took some time, Naruto appeared cut up and bloodied.
Changing the Third Trial. This was intended as irony, probably situational or cosmic. The trial is about rooting out traitors, which, ironically, also happens to be what causes the Leaf to be badly damaged. A battle royale also doesn't make very much sense for shinobi, unless we're talking an assassination target. In that case, that's not something that Hidden Leaf really goes for, so it doesn't make sense as a test that Hidden Leaf would offer. Now, if we were talking about Hidden Mist or Hidden Stone, maybe.
Changing the Opponents. This is going to take a fairly lengthy explanation. I'll go piece by piece, and apologize, again, if I offend or irritate anyone. Orochimaru v. Unmei occurred due to an interest in explaining the unique ability possessed by the Kuroi family, cellular regeneration. Also, it gave a chance to explain some of his personality. Sarutobi v. Gaara occurred to show that the old man is still someone to be reckoned with, and also to prevent Naruto's death (a very real consequence, since the foxes still don't listen to him at this point). Sasuke+Haku v. Kabuto explained that Orochimaru had a specific goal in mind for Sasuke still. Also, it prevented the unfortunate event of Kabuto running without actually doing anything to win. Deikōgi v. Suigetsu introduced Deikōgi's abilities, which in this story are somewhat more similar to fireworks. Lastly, Naruto v. Baki suggested an ability Naruto may learn later, as well as revealed his altered contract.
Aftermath. Unmei's statements, as with the previous arc, wrap up this arc. I elected not to continue using this method because it's a genuine hassle, and requires some degree of agreement on what the message of the arc was. However, in this case, the message was that growing old and more responsible isn't a bad thing.
North Star Village.
In this case, I'll be covering the entire reason behind the arc before anything else, since it's non-canon to begin with. The point I wanted to make with this arc was that in this universe, first of all, chakra is directly connected to sentience, and secondly, chakra comes from more sources than the Ten-Tails/Kaguya.
Now, the individual characters and plotline.
Aka. The word for 'crimson', Aka represents a character somewhat similar to Shu, also from Fist of the North Star. He has no interest in conquering or fighting others, but will fight to protect his homeland. In this respect he is similar to Nōtō. He has a more beneficent and genuine personality than Nōtō, however.
Rahu. An Indian asura of eclipses, Rahu in the story is not presently significant, but will become significant during Part II.
Kōju as Berserker. This was also planned for a while. I wanted Kōju to have a unique source of power that was unique to her, so I worked on that. That excitement in battle comes from her mother; we'll get into that soon enough.
The Overall Plot. It's not, strictly speaking, a traditional missive of goodwill toward others. I was aiming for a concept of coexistence, which I think I accomplished, so I'll leave it at that.
Search for Tsunade.
Luckily, there's not much to talk about here, in part because this arc cleaved fairly close to what was canonically present.
Kage Summit. In this universe, a Kage dying is a pretty big deal to the international community, so the associated countries of the Great Nations had to work together to determine the successor.
Itachi and Kisame. Largely I wanted to introduce a canonical pair of Akatsuki. Itachi is much more willing to negotiate in this version of the story, in part because I wanted to hint toward his true allegiances earlier on. Kisame is Kisame. What else is there to say?
Oh, right. I should mention some things about Samehada. Samehada is not actually a Zanpakutō. It is, however, a blade containing the spirit of one of the native mystic creatures of this universe, meaning that it will respond to Kisame's command.
Kōju's Loneliness. I wanted to hint toward Kōju's growing distance from her teammates fairly early on.
Fū. In this universe, Fū is an accomplished gambler, having a great deal of experience. As with much of this stuff, more details will arrive in Part II; however, for now, I'll state that I based most of her personality of what little we saw when Naruto accepted the Tailed Beasts.
Kōju's Gamble. Again, this is largely due to becoming disaffected with what happened previously.
Itachi and Sasuke. This is a complicated thing. Give me a feeling so complicated, et cetera. Essentially, the relationship was fairly close, and in some ways Sasuke still feels that way. However, the clan killing isn't the kind of thing people can't ignore so easily, so the emotion is a mixture of love and hatred. I hope that came through effectively.
Fū's Gamble. For those of you familiar with Kaiji, this is a nod to the Bog. I won't state any more than that regarding it; watch Kaiji if you want to know more about that series. As a quick warning, I don't think anyone does pure, complete human evil better than Fukumoto. It's a pretty intense series, if you can get past the art.
Itachi v. Sasuke. This is a pretty difficult thing, but what the canonical Sharingan started out doing was copying abilities, so I felt it appropriate that Itachi demonstrate the difference between the pair by copying the attack of the Chidori.
Kōju+Naruto v. Kabuto. Given the alteration earlier, neither Kōju nor Naruto have closeness with Kabuto. Kabuto is therefore less of an important character, but I attempted to retain his canonical intelligence and quick-thinking nature. In this case, it was also important to have Naruto jump in, enhancing the feelings of inferiority Kōju felt.
Everyone Beats on Orochimaru. I honestly like Orochimaru, but as a character, he's got a knack for making and keeping enemies, meaning that the appearance of so many enemies is problematic for him. While he does all right, particularly given his regeneration, he's still in trouble. His method for getting out of it might be considered a Deus ex Machina, so I'm okay with revisiting the end to that fight.
Publication of Novels. Honestly, I don't have a particularly good reason for this one; it just seemed like something that fit the team. I had planned to have Tsunade write it a long time before that, though.
Conclusion. Triage was a fairly important invention, and probably should be standard practice for medic-nin. Hence, its presence here is another nod to the real world.
Unmei and Jiraiya do have a connection as 'information networks', making their connection important to hint at prior to Part II.
Anko did some bad things before entering Hidden Leaf again, and I wanted to emphasize that.
Apparently I misplaced the end of a sentence; I've spent a while going through it again.
The Death God Poem
Naturally, the biggest change in this arc is the appearance of Kūkyo and Gekido. These two represent the last major element of the world that was changed—Death Gods and Tailed Beasts.
Kuroi Kūkyo. Kūkyo is, obviously, not a canon shinigami. Her method of gaining power can be connected to both Misa Amane, who received her Death Note from a dying shinigami, and Zaraki Kenpachi, who took his sword from a dead shinigami. In Kūkyo's case, she tricked a living shinigami to their death, and then took their Zanpakutō. While Kūkyo's outward behavior hints toward a berserker's fighting desire, she has a stronger urge to change the nations. Her history, at the moment, is something I might consider adding to a Side Arc at some point.
This brings me to another point:
How Shinigami Work. This applies generally to most power sources, but to some degree being a shinobi and being a shinigami are exclusive power sets. Though there are exceptions to this, being able to use two at once starts to dip into the transcendent territory Aizen discussed during Deicide. However, becoming an actual transcendent is unlikely, let alone a hybrid. Thus, it's unlikely to become a problem. However, in theory, one could possess both powers.
A Bunch of New Characters. Most of these won't be important later, but I'll give details anyway. Shikin is a shaman, meaning that she has abilities that manipulate human spirits. She is personality-wise fairly close to L of Death Note. Soyokaze is quiet, but dislikes bullies and has a strong sense of fairness. Yukime I mentioned earlier.
Shinigami v. Human. Yūgao isn't precisely the strongest human, but shinigami are hard to quantify in terms of power levels or effects. Therefore, I'm going with a rather generous assumption, as they are gods, and running with it.
A Rotten World. This is largely an artifact of Death Note's view on things, but several times throughout the work the term 'rotten world' comes up. This is important for the Bleach work after this one, but not important here.
Chinmoku's Motives. I can't get into these excessively right now, but he has a specific objective in what he wants to do and how he wants to do it. Thus, his character is very important.
That concludes notes. I'll be taking an extended break after finishing Part I to think over what people have said, as well as how to continue this story.