Sorry for keeping you waiting! Bad news: I won't be able to update for a while for several reasons university being one of them.

Warning: Angst… and a cliffhanger

Elsie awoke with a start from a blissful sleep cuddled into Charles' side. He had started tossing and turning, his arm hitting her shoulder. He was mumbling some incoherent nonsense, but was clearly upset. "Charles?", she whispered, still sleepy and not yet able to think clearly. She gently stroked his cheek. "Charles?", she asked again, this time more insistent.

Charles couldn't hear her. Images were floating around in front of his eyes. Lights flickering, he guessed. His body hurt like he had been lying in bed for days due to some illness. He could hear something. There were people speaking, familiar voices reaching Charles' ear. They sounded sad, sometimes frustrated. What were they saying? Slowly he was able to understand bits and pieces of what was said. "Carson?" Wasn't that Lady Mary's voice? She sounded sad. "Oh, Carson, if only we knew that you can hear us", she sighed, frustration evident in her voice. What was going on? Where was he? Why shouldn't he be able to hear her?

"I believe he can hear us. It keeps him fighting that we all talk to him", Lady Sybil told her sister, trying to comfort her.

"He has been like this for months", Lady Mary whispered. Was she crying?

"We mustn't lose hope", Lady Sybil said.

"But how? He won't wake up. He won't die. He is trapped in some kind of sleep. That is cruel! I wish he'd be free of it…", she said quietly. "Even if that means his death", she added.

"You don't mean that", Lady Sybil replied shocked.

"Carson wouldn't want this. He hates being useless. He hates being ill and not being in charge of what happens to him. He would rather be dead than like this", Lady Mary almost shouted, before dissolving into tears. Charles felt his hand being taken and knew that it was the lady's hand. Soft, warm, elegant. He tried to move, but it was like he had been transformed into a statue. Not even his little finger twitched.

"Charles, wake up!" That was Elsie. Where did she come from? He let out a quiet groan.

"Did you hear that?", Lady Sybil shouted. "Mary, did you hear that?"

"I did. Is he waking up? Carson? Carson, you need to wake up!"

And Charles opened his eyes. He blinked a few times, completely disorientated.

"Charles? Are you all right?" Elsie was above him, stroking his cheek gently.

Charles sat up, glad that his body was working as his brain demanded. "What happened?", he asked, rubbing his eyes.

"You started tossing and turning. Are you all right?", she asked worriedly, leaning against his shoulder.

"I… I think I was dreaming", he said.

"Not a nice dream", Elsie concluded.

"I was at the Abbey. I'm not sure in which room. Lady Mary and Lady Sybil were there. They were talking about me. I couldn't move, do anything really. I'm not sure what was going on", he told her.

Elsie worried her bottom lip. "You don't think you were back in any way?"

Charles turned his head to look at her. "No, my love. I was dreaming, nothing more." He leaned in for a kiss which she gladly accepted. Their arms went around the other instantly and they deepened the kiss, fully aware that they were both naked. Charles lay back, taking Elsie with him, making her lie flush on top of him. Having her close was making him feel better instantly.

"Uhm, Charles", she said in-between kisses. "We actually… should go… back."

He made a disapproving sound, getting a delightful giggle from Elsie in reply.

"Charlie!", she laughed. "Stop."

His lips wandered from her mouth to her cheek until they reached the side of her neck. "You aren't convincing enough", he teased.

"Fair enough", she breathed and moved one hand between them, guiding him inside her. He steadied her with his hands on her hips, letting himself be taken completely by the sensation of making love.

…

They watched each other when they dressed, tender smiles on their faces. Both still couldn't quite believe their luck. Elsie was dealing with her hair when Charles felt a need to hold her again. His shirt was still open and the heat radiating from his bare skin went through Elsie's clothes, making her feel safe and protected, even more so when his strong arms sneaked around her middle and held her to him. He buried his nose in her hair, exhaled her scent and closed his eyes. Her hands came to rest on his and she leaned back, relaxing.

"You know, I really thought you would drink that stuff and be gone forever", she whispered.

Charles tightened his grip on her immediately. "I can never thank you enough for having the courage to kiss me and tell me that you love me. You opened my eyes and my heart."

She smiled softly. "I love you so much, Charles."

He gently turned her around to look her in the eyes. "And I love you."

She stood on her tiptoes and kissed his lips. "We really need to get back now."

He nodded in agreement and let go of her to button up his shirt. "I'm a little nervous to tell Tom", he admitted.

"I'm sure he will be delighted", Elsie assured him, but then worry spread across her face.

Charles' face fell at the sight and he took a few steps towards her. "What's wrong?"

She closed her eyes and sighed, sinking down onto the edge of the bed. Charles hurried to sit next to her, putting one arm around her shoulder.

"I'm sorry", she said, frightening Charles when she choked back tears. "I'm being silly."

"Talk to me, please", Charles begged, gently turning her face to him.

Elsie bit her bottom lip, nearly drawing blood. "You were so sure about leaving. You were so heartbroken and unhappy. I don't want you to make a wrong decision."

Charles studied her for a few very long moments. "You mean to say you don't trust that I'll be happy with you?"

She started crying. "I just don't want you to be unhappy."

He put his hands on either side of her face. "Elsie, I love you. I've felt comfortable with you and Tom right from the beginning, but I wasn't sure what all this was supposed to mean. I do now. There might be moments when I miss 1912 Downton, but if there's one thing I finally understood then this: We lived a hundred years apart and yet we met and fell in love and that can only mean that this – given how unlikely us meeting was – was meant to be." He was rather breathless after his speech, but to see that it had dried Elsie's tears he couldn't care less about his heavy breathing.

"Ok", she whispered.

He raised his eyebrows questioningly.

"I mean you're right", she clarified.

He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. "I've never been happier."

…

At the sound of Elsie turning her key in the lock of the front door, Tommy jumped off his chair at the kitchen table where he had been sitting wrenching his hands nervously while staring at the clock on the wall. "Mum!", he shouted, running into the hall and into Elsie's arms. "Where have you been? I was worried."

"Sweetheart, I'm sorry", Elsie said, hugging him tightly. "But I think I've got news that will make up for it."

Tommy looked at her in confusion and then realised that Charles was there too. "Are you ok?", he asked. Charles smiled and nodded. "I'm fine." He looked at Elsie. "More than fine, actually."

Elsie smiled back at him. "Charles and I are together", she told her son.

Tommy's face lit up. "Really?"

"Really", Charles confirmed.

Tommy grinned at him and Charles knew that the boy was thinking of their conversation from months ago. "So you will move back in?", he wanted to know.

Charles wasn't sure if he was allowed to and looked at Elsie for help. Tears were shining in her eyes and she nodded hopefully. Charles gave her a reassuring smile. "I will."

"Great!", Tommy exclaimed. He hugged Charles who picked him up and cuddled him. He laughed loudly when he heard Tommy's stomach rumble. "Hungry, are we?", Charles said.

"Very", Tommy confirmed.

"Well, shall I cook something then?", Elsie asked.

"I'll be starved until you've finished, mum", Tommy complained.

"What's your plan then?", Elsie wanted to know.

"Fish and chips?", Tommy asked hopefully.

Elsie sighed. "As a sportsman you should eat more healthy food."

"But we've got something to celebrate today", Charles pointed out.

"That's two against one", Tommy said triumphantly.

"Democracy, hmm? And I thought you were a monarchist, Charles", she teased.

He shrugged. "People change."

"Fine, you two go and get the food then", she gave in with a roll of her eyes.

Charles and Tommy smiled at each other and this time Charles offered a high five.

…

Elsie had laid the table, now grabbing her phone to call Becky.

"Hello, dearest sisters, what's up?", Becky greeted her.

"Sounds like your year started off well", Elsie laughed.

"It has indeed", Becky confirmed.

"My start was also rather wonderful", Elsie said.

"How so?", Becky asked curiously.

"Promise not to scream too loud, but, eh, Charles and I are together", Elsie told her and immediately held the phone away from her ear as Becky shrieked.

"Oh my god, Els! I told you", she shouted. "What happened? What changed your mind? Wait, when did he realise he loves you? Oh my god, wait, wait, wait! Did you have sex?!"

Elsie laughed at her sister's excitement. "He thought about leaving and I kissed him and told him I loved him, because I just needed him to know. That made him realise that he loves me and we had sex, twice, no more details", she replied to all questions.

"Hallelujah!", Becky exclaimed. "But why did he want to leave?"

"Long story", Elsie said. "I'll tell you another time, promise!"

"Ok, ok, but are you happy?"

"Of course I am. Becky, I love Charles so much and everything right now is perfect", Elsie explained.

"So you no longer believe that everyone only has one soul mate and one love of his life?"

"No, I still think that, but I've come to the conclusion that your soul mate and the love of your life don't necessarily have to be the same person", Elsie told her.

"Oh? Now you've lost me", Becky admitted and Elsie could hear that her sister was sitting down.

"Joe was my soul mate and I loved him, but Charles… I love him differently. Somehow more… I can't explain it, but I believe Charles is the one I was meant to be with for the rest of my life. If you knew the whole story that would probably make more sense", Elsie said.

"Well, then tell me the whole story", Becky demanded.

"Not on the phone, Becky. It's got to do with his past, ok?"

"His past? He remembers?", Becky shrieked.

"Later, Becky", Elsie promised.

"Fine", Becky grumbled. "Don't you dare to forget!"

…

3rd January 2013

Elsie hadn't seen Charles for hours. After breakfast he had told her that he would head into town for a while to run some errands. She hadn't thought anything about it and had spent the day reading. In the late afternoon she had dropped Tommy off at a friend's house and done some grocery shopping on the way back. She had to admit to herself that she was worried about Charles' whereabouts. She parked her car and fought with the two huge bags on her way to the front door. Cursing under her breath she reached the kitchen and threw the bags onto the table. She had already started unpacking when she spotted a note lying on the table. Elsie grabbed and unfolded it, glad when she recognised Charles' elegant, old fashioned writing:

My dearest Elsie,

there's a surprise waiting for you in the attic.

Love, Charlie

Elsie smiled at his words and shook her head at her sweet man. Curious to no end, she hurried up the stairs. The ladder to the attic had been put down and was ready to be climbed. Elsie heaved herself up onto the wooden floor, gasping when her gaze fell upon the surprise. Charles had cleaned the entire attic and set up a small table with two chairs that had been in the basement only this morning to Elsie's knowledge. It was a mystery to her how Charles had managed to get the furniture up here. Slowly she stepped closer taking in the sight of the perfectly laid table. Candles were lit and spreading warmth and a soft light. A note was placed on one of the two plates.

Close your eyes and turn around, my love.

She did as the note told her, nervously folding her hands in front of her. She could hear his steps as he emerged from one corner of the room. Finally he reached her and his hot breath caressed her face before his lips met hers. When she opened her eyes his face was inches away from hers and he was smiling tenderly at her. "Hello", he whispered softly.

"Hi", she whispered back gently, letting her eyes wander over him. He was wearing his best suit. "I feel a little underdressed", she joked.

"You look lovely", he responded. "Do you like your surprise?", he asked in a deep rumble.

"A perfectly laid table? Are you applying as my butler?", she teased.

"A perfectly laid table for a lovely dinner", he replied, grabbing a chair and guiding her to sit down.

"What dinner?", she asked.

"I got us a three-course menu from that posh restaurant near the school. I would have cooked, but I didn't want to risk burning down the house", he joked.

"You're wonderful", she told him.

…

"I should have tried that restaurant out earlier. The food is brilliant", Elsie said when they had finished.

"You would have loved Beryl's cooking for upstairs then", he chuckled.

"So I'm an upstairs person, hm?", she challenged.

"I can't say. But you certainly would have been the most beautiful, graceful and intelligent lady among all of Britain's aristocracy", he said sincerely.

She laughed. "You're mad!"

"Madly in love", he countered.

"Thank you for the surprise", she said, holding his hand.

"It's not over yet", he pointed out and got up, nervously tucking at his waistcoat.

"It's not?", Elsie asked.

Charles walked over to the window and checked the sky, relieved to see that the weather was on his side, allowing a nice view of the sky and the shining stars. "Come here", he asked her and she joined him, leaning into his side and looking up. "You're not going to tell me that you bought a star like they sometimes do in movies?"

"No, nothing like that", he replied and slowly went down on one knee, his back arching.

"Charles, what are you doing?", she asked alarmed.

"In a way I'm doing what you surely think I'm doing otherwise you wouldn't sound so concerned. But before you say no let me say a few things first", he told her and got out a gold band decorated with tiny stars. It looked old and Elsie swallowed hard. Charles held the ring out in front of him and began to speak: "This ring spent more than a hundred years hidden in the attics of the Abbey. I never thought I'd see it again, but here it is. I bought it in London when I was nineteen. It was meant for a woman I had met while working for a small theatre, but she eloped with my best friend and I returned to Downton where I hid the ring in the attics and locked my heart up to protect it. When I came here it was you who unlocked my heart and took it and this ring… It fits so perfectly to you that I'm wondering if it was always meant for you. That destiny made me buy it knowing one day I'd meet you. So now you know the rings story." He made a pause, taking in a deep breath before he continued. "Elsie Burns, I know these days people don't marry having known each other for only a short while, but I want you to have this ring so that whenever you look at it you know that I'm here and that I love you."

Elsie choked back tears and reached for him, stroking his cheek. "Charlie…" She took a steadying breath. "To quote Becky: We've practically been at it for almost a year. If you asked me to marry you I'd say yes, you know."

Charles gave her his adorable half smile. "Is that a challenge?", he asked. "Elsie Burns, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?"

"Yes, silly", she said, tears falling freely now.

He took her left hand and gently placed the ring on it before getting up with his knees cracking loudly. Elsie shot him a sympathetic look and kissed the tip of his nose.

"That ring is from the 1850s, by the way. I had it polished earlier today", Charles told her proudly.

"So this is what you meant when you said to run errands", she concluded.

He only smiled in reply. "Are we really engaged?", he asked then, both disbelief and happiness evident in his voice. His smile got broader when she nodded, but there was a strange sparkle in his eyes. A bit of confusion and also wonder. "I never thought I'd have this. A fiancée and… and a son", he said quietly.

"But you have both now", Elsie replied gently and took his hand.

…

Charles was sleeping peacefully next to her, his head resting at her shoulder, one arm lying across her middle. She was looking at her engagement ring, turning it over and over again between her fingers. Until now she hadn't been aware of the engraving inside and she knew Charles had probably been afraid of revealing it to her. Many are the stars I see but in my eye no star like thee.

He was such a romantic at heart… She kissed the top of his head and closed her eyes, quickly drifting off to sleep.

Charles had pleasant dreams at first, filled with Tommy's laughter and Elsie's giggle. But soon these sounds disappeared and he found himself back at the Abbey, back in that familiar nightmare. He couldn't move, do anything, just lie there and listen. This time it wasn't the ladies who were with him. There was no talking, but someone held his hand tightly. It was an older hand. It was a little rough from years of work, yet he knew it belonged to a woman. It was small and defined. The woman it belonged to sniffed and squeezed his hand. "I should have accepted it by now", she said and Charles was taken aback at hearing Alice's voice. "But life is so unfair, always has been. I don't know if we still had a chance and if so I might never know. Maybe it doesn't matter", she continued, her voice hoarse from crying. "We've been friends again. You forgave me. We're at peace. And exactly because of that I can't lose you now. Please, Charlie, wake up."

Charles opened his eyes in panic, panting for air. He looked around wildly, relieved to see Elsie. "Another nightmare?", she asked worriedly, stroking a strand of hair from his forehead.

He groaned in reply. "I don't get these dreams", he said frustrated. "Why can't I just sleep in peace?" He moved, placing his head on her chest, listening to her heart beat and letting himself be soothed by the gentle yet insistent rhythm. Elsie wished she had an answer for him, but she didn't know what his nightmares meant. Perhaps they were caused by the homesickness that was still having a grip on him. Kissing his head and stroking his cheek, she closed her eyes and sent a silent prayer heavenwards that he would be better soon and allowed a normal life with her and Tommy.

…

5th January 2015

"You should learn driving", Elsie remarked, side glancing at Charles from her position at the wheel. She couldn't help but laugh at how his eyebrows shot up at her statement. "Why on earth would I want to learn driving these things?", he asked, tapping the dashboard lightly in front of him.

"Think about it… If you could drive this surprise would have been a surprise", she explained, a warm feeling shooting through her body when she thought about the surprise – the second one he had planned for her after the proposal. Charles grumbled. She was right. His inability to drive had forced him to ask Elsie to drive which of course had led to revealing their destination – which had ruined half the surprise. Tommy and Elsie were now both fully aware that Charles was taking them to the seaside though to be fair it was in fact Elsie taking them. What they didn't know was what Charles planned to do once they were there. It had taken him some time to convince Elsie that going to the seaside in January wasn't complete nonsense. He had a walk along the beach in mind that would eventually lead them up some cliffs and hopefully grant them a nice view across the ocean. Since it wasn't snowing or raining, but simply cold yet sunny, Charles was confident that his family would enjoy the walk. "That might be true, but I only had to give away half of my plan", he replied.

"You know, I'm glad you didn't ask Becky for help", Elsie said.

Charles scoffed. "Ask her and get us killed?", he said sarcastically. "No, thanks. Her driving style already causes me heart problems while I'm watching."

"I like it", Tommy said. "It's fun and I'm never late when I'm with her."

Elsie looked at her son through the rear mirror. "You are also never later when you are with me, young man."

"Yes, because we always leave super early", Tommy countered.

Charles chuckled and shook his head while Elsie rolled her eyes in amusement.

…

Charles and Elsie were walking hand in hand along the shore watching Tommy run around searching for interesting stones and shells. The cliffs weren't far from where Elsie had parked and they took a small, sandy path up. Tommy made it his job to throw stones down to the beach, trying to reach the water. Charles and Elsie were watching him. A cool wind started blowing, making Elsie shiver. Charles moved behind her, putting his arms around her middle and resting his chin on top of her head. She leaned back against him.

"I never thought I'd have this", he said melancholic.

Elsie put her hand over his, running her thumb soothingly over the back of his hand. "You have us now", she whispered.

"Thank god for that", he said sincerely and dropped a kiss into her hair.

"Who's Alice?", Elsie asked suddenly.

Charles was utterly surprised about Elsie's question. "How do you know about Alice?"

"You talked in your sleep last night. At first I thought you were having another nightmare, but you seemed… ok", Elsie told him.

Charles swallowed hard. He remembered his dream from last night well. He had been at the Abbey, lying in that bed, not able to move – all that was familiar to him now. Alice had made the difference. Last time she had been as upset as the young ladies, but this time she had read to him. It had only been the newspaper, but the gesture and her soft, calming voice had made the dream bearable and he had wanted to wake up. He had wanted to wake up and thank her, tell her that he was fine, that he was happy where he was. But of course he hadn't been able to do any of that. "Alice Neale was the woman involved in the ring's story", he told her.

"And you dreamt about her last night?", Elsie asked.

"In a way. I only heard her voice", he explained.

"After you returned to Downton… Did you ever see her again?"

"I did. She moved near the village a few weeks before I came here. She had a job in the village. We met accidentally and made peace."

Elsie worried her bottom lip. "Do you think there had been a chance for you if you had stayed?"

Charles realised where Elsie was going with this and he was determined to convince her that she needn't worry. "I couldn't possibly say what would have happened if I had stayed", he replied honestly.

"And if you were back?"

"Elsie, I'm in love with you. And no matter where I am that remains a fact", he whispered in her ear.

"I'm sorry", she said. "It's just… When it comes to your past I feel like I don't know you."

"You can ask me anything", he offered. "And Simon's book also provides some answers."

"I'm sorry. I must appear as though I doubt us", she sighed.

"Do you?", Charles asked softly.

Elsie opened her mouth to reply, but Tommy interrupted her. He came running towards them, shouting Charles' name.

"What is it?", Charles asked a little grumpily.

"I've been thinking… Now that you are getting married…", Tommy told him. "And I wanted you to ask if… erm… that is…", he stuttered nervously. The boy took a deep breath. "Might I call you dad?"

Charles wasn't sure he had understood him correctly. He let go of Elsie and she stepped aside to make the way free for her son. Charles swallowed hard, threatened to be overcome by emotions. "Yes", he replied simply, watching relief and happiness wash over Tommy's face. Charles picked the boy up and hugged him tightly. "Dad, can I be your best man at the wedding?", Tommy asked, making Charles dizzy with happiness. "Yes, my boy." Charles looked at Elsie who mouthed. "I don't doubt us, love."

…

6th January 2013

It was about time to remove the Christmas tree with school starting again after the weekend. Tommy was at a birthday party of a team mate, so Charles and Elsie were able to clean the remains of Christmas away in peace.

Charles had had another night filled with the same nightmare as the nights before. He was sick and tired of it. It disturbed his happiness and his relationship to Elsie. She thought he hadn't noticed, but whenever she woke him from a nightmare or when they got up in the morning there were these worried glances. He was desperate to move on, but especially today that seemed impossible. He was unwell like he hadn't woken up properly from his nightmare. Waves of dizziness washed over him. There were voices haunting him, calling his name and telling him to wake up. But unlike in his dreams, he was awake now.

Elsie had watched Charles closely for most of the day. He was pale and looked exhausted. The nightmares were disturbing his rest. She wanted to help, but didn't know how, so she observed him and worried.

Charles was busy stuffing away the decoration when Elsie handed him a cup of tea which he gratefully accepted. The warm liquid soothed him a bit. Then he started shaking. The voices got louder and turned into a noise. He winced at the pain this screeching and roaring send through his head and groaned.

Elsie turned her head to him and stopped packing the boxes of the decorations. "Charles?", she asked alarmed.

He wanted to reply, but his heart started beating painfully wild in his chest. He lost control of his hand when a wave of weakness hit him. The cup fell and shattered into a thousand pieces when it hit the floor. Charles was close to being forced onto his knees, his eyes wide in shock and pain. His face turned crimson.

"Charles!", Elsie shouted, but found herself rooted to the spot.

Charles felt something pulling at him. It made him stand straight up. He looked at Elsie, feeling utterly helpless. "Elsie", he whispered, his voice hoarse. Then it got all too much: Elsie staring at him in panic, now screaming his name, the voices calling him by his last name and ordering him to wake up, the pain flashing through every inch of his body, the smell of pine needles, tea and Elsie mixed with the one of the Abbey. With his left hand he reached out for Elsie, but then he was pulled back violently. He started falling. Down? Back? Up? He couldn't tell. Just falling, falling somewhere through flash of lights and noise, so much noise. The last thing he saw was Elsie's face, so full of panic. The last thing he heard was Dr. Clarkson's voice: "He's shown signs of waking up for a while now. There might be a good chance he's coming back." And then all was dark and quiet.

Sorry… Please don't hate me – I have a plan. Though it might take a while until I can update as mentioned before. Please let me know what you think :)