Sixty-Four
Wii got a Wii U!

"NOO!" Zoroark wailed, clutching the Wii tightly. "DON'T YOU DIE ON ME! DON'T DIE, WOULD-BE-U!"

"What?" Absol asked.

"Would-be-U is what they call the Wii since it's not a Wii U," Charizard explained as Zoroark and Serperior tried to give the system CPR. It wasn't working.

"Psst!"

Absol looked over to see Quilava waving him closer.

"What is it? Weren't you still at the hospital?" he asked to the mink.

"I got out faster than expected," Quilava shrugged. "Anyway, do you want to help me with this list? The author wanted me to buy a few things—especially since the Wii's dead."

Absol looked over at the list, then back to where the other Pokémon were mourning the Wii. "I'm in," he answered.

Meanwhile, on the narrating platform…

Agumon was laying on top of Pit, asleep, while the latter was reclining on the author.

"…is he asleep?" she asked.

"…yea," Pit whispered.

"…can you get him off?" she hushed back.

"Not without waking him," he sighed.

"Darn."

Percy, meanwhile, was making a compromise with Spittle. "That Agumon is stealing your spot! Are you going to let him do that?!" he asked.

"RAOR!" Spittle growled.

"I said, ARE YOU GOING TO LET HIM DO THAT?!"

"RAOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAARRRRR!" Spittle roared, tackling Agumon to the ground and freeing Pit and the author.

"We're free!" Pit exclaimed, jumping off Reevee21.

"Yay!" the author shrieked back.

Back to our Pokémon group…

Zelda was driving a van to Best Buy with Buizel riding shotgun, Absol and Quilava taking the back seats.

"Haow dew we fit in thais van as a graoup, anyway?" Buizel asked.

"I have no idea," Quilava blinked. "Zelda, you DO know how to drive, right?"

"Relax," she answered, pursing her lips, "it can't be much harder than using the phone!"

"PEDESTRIAN!" Absol shouted.

"AUUUUGH!" everyone but Zelda yelled as she took a sharp turn to avoid the pedestrian.

"WATCH IT!" the crosser, a Mr. Saturn, shouted.

"I lost trust in yew," Buizel moaned, sliding down the window.

"Hey, I got this—OH GOSH HOLD ON!" Zelda shrieked, realizing that they were driving right into another van.

She swerved on one wheel, going about 95 miles an hour on a 65-mile limit road.

"SLOW DOWN, WOMAN!" a trucker shouted out the window as she shot by.

"AODHONNMSNI OK!" she screamed back.

"GUYS! CLIFF!" Quilava shouted, pointing to a random cliff.

Going too fast to use the bridge, she ended up shooting straight up into the air—the back of the car bursting into flames.

"Whoa! The back of my car's on fire!" Zelda noted, staring out the window.

"You're engine's overheating!" the same trucker—who was a few feet away—shouted.

"…OH…" Zelda hissed.

"ENOUGH WITH THE AWKWARD ZOMBIE JOKES, HERE COMES GROUND!" Quilava yelled as their van started falling to the ground.

"HOLD ON, KIDS!" Zelda shouted, barely making it and continuing to drive at ridiculous speeds.

She was going so fast that she obliterated a GameCube lying in the middle of the road, skid marks from the tires catching fire on the way.

"MY GOSH," Buizel gaped, buckling with a second seatbelt as she crashed through a glass pane—the shards reflecting fire as the flaming car soared through in slow motion.

"W-h-o-o-o-a-a-a-a," Quilava and Absol said in slow-mo.

Zelda stuck Buizel out her window and he slapped an Aqua Tail on the back vaguely, putting out the fire as they returned to real motion. The car skidded into a parallel parking zone at Best Buy, rocking around a bit before finally coming to a stop—skid marks flaming on the road nearby.

"Whew…that's the end of the highway," Zelda gasped in relief.

"And the end of my lunch…" Ness moaned. "…how did I get in here?"

"Get off me," Absol growled.

Ness stopped holding onto Absol and took the seat between him and Quilava.

"No for real, how did get in here?" he asked again.

Absol said nothing, just pointed to a hole in his window.

"Right. Never mind."

Buizel, Zelda, Quilava, and Absol got out of the car and walked into Walmart while Ness walked a little ways away to where Paula, Jeff, and Poo were gaping at the car.

"Hey, I lived!" Ness declared, fist pumping the air.

Does anyone else think these chapters are getting longer? No matter: inside Walmart…

"So, we're going to need a Wii U to replace the old Wii," Quilava listed, "more Dorito Burritos, Treeko needs a Minecraft update, and…Wind Waker?"

Quilava shrugged while the author fist pumped.

"I'll take the games," Zelda decided.

"Are you sure? You're from Hyrule and—"Quilava started.

"I'm a VIDEO GAME CHARACTER, I got this!" she interrupted, tearing off the video game section and walking to the games.

"Okay then," he shrugged. "Absol, can you take the food?"

"Sure," he shrugged as Quilava handed him the edibles list.

Buizel and Quilava each took half of the 'other' list (one of which was Fanfic insurance and another was Duct Tape) and separated to get their own things.

Absol was shopping casually, stopping occasionally at an isle to head butt an item into the cart. Several people saw him and either freaked out ("OH MY ARCEUS AN ABSOL WE'RE DOOMED!"), passed out ("Oh my Arceus, an Absol, it's so pretty!"), or shrugged and kept shopping.

He moaned at the fifth person to run and get security. "Are any of these people in the fics normal?"

"Nope," Sonic said, running through Walmart on his way to SSB4.

In the video game section, Zelda was getting the same reactions. "Should I get the black Wii or the white one…?" she wondered before happening upon a Wii U with a Pokeball pattern; half white, half red, with a black stripe in between.

"Perfect!" she decided, taking it and the Minecraft update to the check out.

About an hour later, back at the PC…

"Dearly beloved," Lucario started levelly, the Pc box once again being decorated like a funeral with the Wii inside the coffin, "we gather here today for the mourning of a beloved friend."

Zoroark blew her snout into a tissue, being dressed in a black dress….Serperior the same.

"Why are we doing this again?" Kirlia moaned, holding a stack of papers. "Can we just go through his last will and testament?"

"Okay," Lucario sighed, throwing the 100-page speech onto the floor.

"'I, Would-be-U Wii, have written out this will even though I have no hands," she started. "I leave my eight children to the siblings Zoroark Moonshade and Lucario Moonshade'-"

"Wait, what?" Zoroark asked. "Our Wii had kids?"

The shiny Kirlia pointed to the four remotes and four Nunchucks.

"Oooh," Lucario and Zoroark said at once.

"'My vast collection of disks goes to Treeko Evergreen'," she continued, "my stand to the Pokeball Wii U—"

They were interrupted when their van came crashing through the wall, annialating the funeral almost as good as this fic annialates the fourth wall.

Almost.

Suddenly, Ness kicked the door open and jumped out, yelling, "NEVER AGAIN, ZELDA! I AM NOT DRIVING WITH YOU AGAIN! HOLY COW! HOLY COW! AUUUUUU—"he ran back to the Earthbound game….

FOR NOW.

"What?"

"Guess what, guys!" Quilava announced, carrying the Wii U. "We got a U!"

"YAY!" Serperior, Treeko, Zoroark, and Chestnaught shouted at once. Charizard kicked the Wii out the window, yelling "Sayonara, sucker!"

"And I bought Dauck tape," Buizel said, looking around the huge crash.

Zelda smiled sheepishly as the Pokémon glared at her.

Man, I'm seeing an increasing trend in longer chapters.
Percy: The more to read, the better!
Agumon: (in Spittle's mouth) can someone get me down?
Pit and Author: NOPE.
Agumon: Aww…
Thanks for reading! Be sure to leave a review, click the Follow/Favorite button—never mind, hit it wit a BASE-BALL BAT!
Ness: MY BAT!
Hug your Eevee, everyone, I'll see you next chapter!
FYI—there's a poll on who's your favorite character in this on my profile! Check it out and be sure to vote!