A/N: I upped the rating because I don't wanna get busted for one itty-bitty part. Enjoy it, guys! BTW, if there's any neko Magnus firsts you wanna see, let me know.

27: Alec

Is the fever making me hear things or did Magnus just ask me if I wanted to marry him? I ask myself silently.

"I don't know. Hand me my phone and I'll see," I tell Magnus.

He rubs my back as I search Google for the answer. Emancipated hybrids are allowed to marry, which is surprising.

"Because you're being emancipated, you can marry whoever you want," I say.

"Really? I didn't think hybrids were allowed to," he murmurs.

"Mom's gonna love that," Jace mumbles.

"She wouldn't be invited," I inform him.

The day I let my mother around Magnus again is the day I have a snowball fight with the devil.

"You're not even gonna tell her?" Jace asks.

"Why should I? She practically put a hit out on Mags," I reply.

"She did that?"

I nod.

"On a lighter note, how'd you know I was quoting Twilight? It doesn't seem like your kind of book," Magnus remarks.

"I wanted to know why Izzy was so into it. I never really did get the big deal about it," I explain.

"I never read the books. I saw snippets of it when Ragnor and his boyfriend watched it."

"Were they using you?"

"No, I kept passing out from the beating he gave me."

I rub his knee gently.

"I'm sorry," I murmur.

He makes an annoying sound in the back of his throat. He might not like me apologizing for the abuse he suffered, but I really am sorry he went through everything he did.

By tonight, I'm feeling a lot better. I'm able to eat without puking. The best thing is Magnus isn't feeling sick.

"Were you serious about marrying me?" I ask, leaning back against my pillow.

"As a heart attack, darling. If it's not something you wanna do, we won't," he replies.

"Marrying you sounds really good. I didn't know you felt that strongly about me."

"You're my universe. You have been for a while."

"I am?"

"Yes. I'd do anything for you."

"I never thought you'd be asking me about marriage, much less telling me you love me."

"I didn't either. I thought I was done trusting people after what Ragnor did. I didn't think love was an option for me."

"What made you realize how you felt?"

"You give me butterflies. Still. Your smile makes me feel warm and fuzzy. I worried about you when I didn't hear from you on your way home for reasons other than what could happen to me. I was always afraid you'd been mugged or something. But then you'd walk in and it was like how Christmas morning is supposed to be. I fell for you harder than I thought anyone could, and it scared me. It still scares me, to be honest."

I want so badly to kiss him, but I also want him to not get the flu. I never thought he felt this way toward me.

"Am I really your first?" he asks.

"Yeah. I wasn't really out before I got you. Izzy and Jace knew. It was safer if I stayed closeted. I know you think it's weird, but it's true," I reply.

"Would they have hurt you if you came out sooner?"

"I don't know. I knew they'd disown me."

"At least you still have Jace and Izzy. We didn't get Jace a Christmas present."

"I know. We will. I have to go back to work next week."

"Oh. So it'll be Jace, Izzy, and me?"

"Yeah. Once your ID comes, you can go to work with me if you want to."

"That sounds good."

He flips onto his stomach to watch Tokyo Ghoul. I'm surprised he likes it, but he might only watch it because it's something I like. I love watching how engrossed he gets in TV shows.

While he watches TV, I decide to get on my laptop. I have a message from Jonathan about pictures of an abused neko who looks exactly like Mags. The link he's given me to the website is the same address as Ragnor's website.

The first picture I see is Magnus on his hands and knees. A rope is tied around his bruised hips, holding him up. The insides of his lean thighs are just as bruised. There's fresh blood dripping from his still-gaping entrance. Semen spatters his small butt. The sight of my boyfriend being treated like that makes me sick. That's nothing compared to the anger I feel when I read the caption. It says, 'It forgot its place and passed out when I reminded it.'

Not wanting to see more of the horror he endured, I close the page and go back to Facebook. I ask Jonathan how he found the pictures before going to Magnus's page. He changed his profile picture from one of us to one of his very few selfies. It's either evening or morning when he took it. He's still in bed. He looks adorable and slightly half-asleep. I leave something cute on his page before shutting my laptop off so I can cuddle him.

"What's wrong?" he asks when I lie next to him.

"Jonathan told me someone had posted pictures of a neko who looked like you being abused. It was you. H-he took a picture of you after you passed out from pain. You'd just been raped in the picture," I explain.

The pain in his cat eyes makes me wish I'd never told him. We never keep things from each other, but maybe I should've kept this to myself.

"He probably asked Raphael to post it," he mumbles.

"Are you okay, knowing I saw?" I ask gently.

"You saw me after Jace raped me. How's it any different?"

"Because Jace only physically attacked you once. I thought maybe you'd feel different because of what he did."

"I do, but I'm fine. I'll deal."

"Mags, I'll listen if you want someone to talk to."

He's quiet for a long time after that.

"Do you want time alone?" I ask gently, touching his back.

Shaking his head, he hops off the bed. He pulls his journal out of the shoebox he keeps his most personal things in.

He sits cross-legged on the floor and writes for a while. As much as I wanna comfort him, I also wanna give him his space and let him deal with this the way he needs.

He slinks over to me and puts his journal in front of me. His face is unreadable.

"You can read it," he informs me.

Am I ever gonna stop feeling like this? Like Alec's one day gonna decide I'm not good enough. I know I'm not. No one has to tell me. I know I'm still filthy from what happened. How do you wash away eight years of abuse? I love Alec and I know he loves me, but what if he decides I don't deserve it? He can't adopt me out now, but he could kick me out or kill me. I don't blame myself for what happened anymore. I know it was never my fault. I never asked for my mom to be raped or for a psycho to abuse me. I know we might never have a sex life like a normal couple, but I wanna at least try being with him like that. What if he decides not to stop? Or I do something wrong? If I accidentally bite too hard? Maybe I'm overthinking all of this. I know Alec wants me to open up about this crap, but I never had anyone willingly offer to listen, it reads.

His golden eyes are watching me when I look up.

"Magnus, I had no idea you were feeling like this," I murmur.

"This was the easiest way for me to tell you," he replies.

"If we ever broke up, it wouldn't be 'cause I decided you didn't deserve me loving you. I'm not a killer, Magnus. I'm glad you aren't self-blaming. The minute you ask me to stop, I will. You won't do something wrong. If you bite too hard, I'll tell you to stop, but I won't hurt you."

"Do you think I'll ever get used to you loving me?"

"Probably. Thank you for opening up to me."

"At least you listen. I'm glad you're not puking."

He puts his journal back and goes to get us both a snack. I really do love him, but I wish he wouldn't baby me. I know I baby him when he's hurt, but that's because he never had someone like him before.

"I like the profile picture you went with," I tell him when he comes back.

"You do?" he replies, handing me some toast.

"You looked so adorable. And sleepy."

"I was. It was like eight in the morning. You were cooking breakfast and you were gonna be pulling a twelve that day. Is the offer on the tattoos still good?"

"What're you planning on getting?"

"I want either part of Unravel on both wrists or 'I'm stronger than I ever thought I was' on my forearm."

"I think I know what part of the song you're wanting to get."

"Probably. 'Breakable, unbreakable' on one wrist and 'shakeable, unshakeable' on the other. Or all three. A tat would be a walk in the park compared to everything else."

"If that's what you want. You're planning on showing those at the trial, aren't you?"

"I might, but it's more of a personal reminder. I can survive anything. You don't have any tattoos, do you?"

"Nope. Jace does. Long story."

"No piercings?"

"Nope. Are there any you want?"

"Yeah, but I never thought I'd be given the choice."

"What are they?"

"Either snake bites, a navel piercing, or getting my eyebrows pierced. I don't know, though. I'm not into pain, even if I do have a high pain tolerance."

"I think you'd look good with them, but I don't blame you for not wanting to deal with the pain."

"About the wedding, do you want a big one or do you just want family and friends?"

"Probably just friends and family. Is there anyone you want to be there? You haven't even proposed yet."

"I don't really know anyone. I don't even have a ring to propose with."

He seems bothered by this fact.

"Ring or not, I want a future with you," I murmur, wrapping my arm around his waist.

Forever with him was the last thing I expected when I brought him home. But it's one thing I'll be extremely happy to have.