Hey fellas! I hope you enjoyed the last chapter! Moving on!
Ponyboy had left once more on another date with Cherry Valence. I felt something I hadn't felt in a long time: I felt happy. I was happy for Ponboy, glad that he was able to move on and glad that he found a friend in Cherry. It was tough for the both of them to hang out at times because of other greasers and Soc's, but I was proud of Ponyboy.
He wasn't backing down from this, not this time.
It was hard since Dallas and Johnny had died, I could never deny that, and also having cardiovascular disease for me was just icing on the cake. Darry explained the situation as best as he could the last time we were at the hospital. He tried to put it in a more delicate manner, but all I heard was, "If you don't change your lifestyle, you'll end up dead within a year or so. Even with the drug." I didn't understand what that had meant at first, unsure of what my lifestyle was. Then the doctor made it clear that I had stress and anxiety, which only contributed to the disease.
The stress and anxiety? That I understood. The lifestyle thing? Not so much.
I've only lived my life to the fullest, the life of a greaser, and I made huge changes this past month. I moved out of my parent's house and away from my abusive father which was very difficult to do. I began living on my own, making very little money from jobs Buck had given me once in a while. It was probably the night of Bob's murder that had started it all, or made things worse. I snapped out of my thoughts, going over to the kitchen and rolling my eyes at the huge pile of dishes in the sink. Remembering that Ponyboy was supposed to do them last, I got to work and started cleaning the dishes, hoping Darry wouldn't get too angry with Ponyboy. I smiled faintly as I put on the radio, humming to the tune of an old Frank Sinatra song Embraceable You.
Embrace me...my sweet embraceable you~
I grabbed a rag and some dish soap, getting started with the dishes as I listened to the lyrics. It was probably several minutes before I was lost in my thoughts again, reminded of how this song was playing on the radio the night I had killed one of Tim Shepard's guys. Dallas couldn't find anything better on the radio, so he just kept it on.
"...what's...with the...the long face...Angel Face?"
I'm in love with you, I am. And merrily so~
My eyes widened and I stopped what I was doing, a dish falling from my hand and shattering as soon as it hit the floor. I quickly got to the floor, grabbing the broken pieces frantically. I hissed as I cut my hand, watching the blood spill out because I was so careless. I was almost mesmerized as I stared at my blood for several seconds, before I took initiative and got up to do something about the cut before it would get infected.
But you're much too shy, unnecessarily so~
"Fuck." I growled.
I grabbed the dish towel near the sink wrapping it around my hand as I finished placing the broken dish into the trash can.
"Where do they have the first aid kit?" I mumbled to myself.
I got up from the floor holding the dish towel around my hand, trying to put as much pressure on it as I could. I searched the kitchen first, finding nothing before going into Ponyboy and Soda's room. I opened the drawers quickly, searching frantically as I accidentally knocked a few things off of the desk. I sighed and gave up as I moved to pick the stuff up from the floor. My eyes were drawn to a book, Gone With The Wind. I picked up the book slowly, seeing a piece of paper stick out from the inside. Growing curious, I took out the piece of paper, realizing it was a letter.
Wait...this is Johnny's handwriting...
My good hand shook as I swallowed nervously, before I began to read the letter.
Ponyboy,
I asked the nurse to give you this book so you could finish it. The doctor came in a while ago but I knew anyway. I keep getting tireder and tireder. Listen, I don't mind dying now. It's worth it. It's worth saving those kids. Their lives are worth more than mine, they have more to live for. Some of their parents came by to thank me and I know it was worth it. Tell Dally and Jackie it's worth it. I'm just going to miss you guys. I've been thinking about it, and that poem, that guy that wrote it, he meant you're gold when you're a kid, like green. When you're a kid everything's new, dawn. It's just when you get used to everything that it's day. Like the way you dig sunsets, Pony. That's gold. Keep it that way, it's a good way to be. I want you to tell Dally and Jack to look at one. Those two will probably think you're crazy, but ask for me. I don't think they've ever really seen a sunset. And don't be so bugged over being a greaser. You still have a lot of time to make yourself be what you want. There's still lots of good in the world. Tell Dally and Jackie. I don't think they know.
Your buddy,
Johnny
I dropped the letter in shock, and glanced over at my hand. A lot of the dish rag was soaked in blood by now. I grabbed part of my T-Shirt, ripping off a long piece and used that to wrap it around my hand as a makeshift bandage. After picking everything up and placing it back on the desk, I stormed out of the house.
I need a drink. I need something.
"Yo, Heffer!"
I felt my face heat up, as I clenched my fists tightly.
"Heffer! Wait up!"
I got grabbed by my arm, being spun around until I was face to face with Tim Shepard.
"You deaf or somethin'?" He scoffed.
"What the hell do you want, Timmy?" I glared at him.
"Shit. I know that look. What the hell's eating at you, doll?" Tim asked.
"I don't wanna talk about it." I grumbled.
"Okay. Whatever." He let go of me. "You wanna go to Buck's? I can tell you need to blow off some steam."
I wanted to say something in spite, but decided against it, giving him a nod as I began following Tim back to Buck's Palace.
"So what's wrong anyway? Did some Soc grab you?" He frowned.
"It's nothin' you need to concern yourself over." I curtly replied.
Tim laughed at my answer as he wrapped an arm around my waist, dragging me along with him, making me move faster.
"So how are those burns healing up?"
"They're good, I should be fine to take off the bandages next week I think."
Tim nodded as we continued to walk side by side. I knew by Tim's behavior that he wanted something from me, but I pushed it to the back of my mind, craving to have a drink.
"Jack?" I heard Two-Bit.
I tensed up, but continued walking with Tim and pretended that I didn't hear Two-Bit's voice.
"Hey!" Two-Bit yelled.
Tim turned around with me, glancing back at Two-Bit. Two-Bit looked buzzed as he held a flask in his hand like it was his lifeline, but he stood his ground.
"What the hell do you think you're doin'?" Two-Bit asked me.
"Well, I think I'm gonna get a drink. Why? You wanna join?" I spoke sarcastically. "Two's a party, but three's a crowd."
"Jack. What's wrong?" Two-Bit looked concerned.
"Oh nothing you need to worry about." I chuckled dryly.
"Come on, we're going back to the Curtis'." Two-Bit made a move to grab me.
I quickly pulled away, Tim's hold around my waist getting a little tighter.
"See you 'round Matthews." Tim nodded at Two-Bit.
Two-Bit frowned as he watched us walk away together, and contemplated following. After a minute or two, Two-Bit nodded to himself before following us to Buck's place.
Tim and I sat at the bar, downing shots of whiskey. I could feel it burn in my throat and sighed in relief at the familiar sensation.
"I missed this shit." I smiled. "Whiskey is just...it was my life." I joked.
"I knew you were a whiskey kind of gal, but I didn't think you loved it this much." Tim chuckled.
"If only you knew, Timmy."
Buck gave Tim an amused look, before returning to the kitchen, probably to grab a bite to eat.
"What'd I tell you 'bout callin' me that?" He glared at me.
"What? It's my special little nickname for you." I pouted.
"Oh don't be all cute." Tim let out a laugh.
"Bitch, I'm adorable." I joked.
Tim burst out laughing, finding my joke hilarious for some reason. I leaned back against the counter, staring up at the ceiling before moving to grab another shot of whiskey. I raised it to my lips, but was stopped when Two-Bit snatched it from my hands. I felt my face heat up as I grew angry.
"What the hell, Two-Bit?!" I glared at him.
"You're comin' back home with me. I ain't leavin' you while you're like this." Two-Bit looked dead serious.
"Like what?!" I huffed angrily.
"Back off, Matthews. She don't wanna go with your scrawny ass so beat it." Tim grew annoyed.
"Shut up, Shepard. You stay outta this." Two-Bit pointed at Tim.
Two-Bit turned back to me, pulling on my shirt and yanking me off of my chair. I ripped his hand off of me, before slapping him in the face. Two-Bit stumbled backwards, holding his cheek before looking at me in surprise.
"Don't. Touch me like that again." I growled.
My dad...he used to grab me like that before he beat me.
Two-Bit seemed to recognize the slight fear in my voice and nodded in understanding, but he still refused to leave.
"Let's leave. We can do this the easy or the hard way." Two-Bit warned me.
"I don't wanna go back in that house." I told him.
"Why not?! It's your home!" Two-Bit looked at me in disbelief.
"Just stop it and leave me alone!" I yelled. "I'm serious this time! I'll fuckin' hurt you, Keith! Back off!"
"You think I'm scared of you? I've dealt with Kathy and she's just as crazy as you are!" He scoffed.
I kicked Two-Bit in the shin roughly before leaving Buck's and walking into town, hoping to get my mind off everything.
I'm gonna blow. I can't handle this anymore.
"Get back here, dammit!" Two-Bit yelled.
"Just leave me alone, man! I don't fucking need you breathing down my neck!" I hissed at him.
"Well obviously you do if you're gonna act like a damn child!"
"That's calling the kettle black, sweetheart." I retorted.
"Jack! Just stop okay?! What's wrong with you?! You've been doing so good! What the hell's gotten into you?!"
I finally stopped and gave Two-Bit one of my scary glares as I stood tall.
"It's none of your damn business, Keith. I'm gonna walk away, and if I find you following me, I might have to hurt you."
"You wouldn't." Two-Bit folded his arms. "Go right ahead, doll."
I never wanted to hurt someone more in my entire life. I breathed heavily through my nose as I tried to contain my anger, but I just couldn't stop. I clenched my eyes tightly, my teeth grinding together, and all I could see was red. I didn't think either of us had expected it, but I finally snapped, punching Two-Bit in gut as hard as I could. I could hear him wheeze after the blow, and saw him on his knees as he regained his breath. He looked up at me in surprise and hurt, not actually expecting me to go through with my little bluff and hurt him, but I was so angry.
And when I was angry, I did stupid things.
When it finally sunk in, that I had hurt one of my friends, I stumbled back slowly, looking down at him in complete shock. A breath I hadn't realized I was holding in was finally released. I felt tears sting into my eyes as I heard Two-Bit groaning in pain.
I was turning into my father. I was becoming Dallas...
Two-Bit shakily got up from the ground, hands resting on his knees as he was bent over breathing heavily.
"Shit, I wasn't expectin' that." Two-Bit wheezed.
Two-Bit saw the look on my face and reached out for me, but I quickly stepped back in fear.
"I gotta go. I gotta...fuck." I breathed out. "I can't...I gotta leave, man."
"Jack, wait." Two-Bit panted.
"I think it's better if you stay away for awhile." I muttered softly. "I'm not...I'm not okay right now."
"Jack- -"
"I'm sorry." I whimpered.
I ran off, not daring to look back.
I hurt my family...I'm a monster...
The more I thought about Johnny that night, the more everything hurt on the inside. My mind would drift back to the night of Bob Sheldon's murder and I was just reminded that I was a failure. I failed to protect Johnny and Ponyboy that night.
I'm just a failure...I'm not good enough...I'm nothing.
Johnny was almost like a little pet to the gang, but he meant so much more to me than that. Johnny could have turned into a dark and evil person, especially with his life at home and after he was beaten by Bob's gang, but he stayed pure somehow. Life was absolute shit, and as depressing as it was, I was still a little optimistic deep down and thought maybe things could get better. In light of recent events though, my ray of hope was gone. After Johnny and Dallas died, it was just gone. Most of the time, I didn't know what I was doing anymore, I didn't know if continuing on was actually worth it. Life just takes, but it never seemed to give back.
I didn't have any hope anymore...
Darry's words about not continuing on with life, about how you can't just stop living would ring in my head once in a while. At times, I wanted to give up and be done with my life since it was mostly shit anyway. My life wouldn't amount to anything and it was worthless.
But then I realized something.
My life might be shit, but there's still one person left that I actually care about.
Ponyboy.
I would live on for Ponyboy, I would make sure his life goes way beyond the life of a greaser, I'll make sure his life turns out great. I might have failed Johnny and Dallas, but there was still hope for Ponyboy.
I can't fuck up this time. I have to protect Ponyboy.
I couldn't waste my time feeling sorry for myself and have a stupid pity party when I could still make a difference. I was going to die soon, but I could make the last few years of my life mean something. I could help Ponyboy as best as I can, and maybe my life won't amount to nothing at all.
"Jack!" Soda perked up.
I shut the door behind me, and blushed when I saw Two-Bit on the couch, laying on his side.
"Yo Two-Bit." I glanced over at Keith. "I'm sorry about earlier."
Everyone's eyes widened in surprise as if they'd just heard me say that I got hitched or something. I wasn't the person that typically apologized, I usually shrugged it off most of the time.
"Do my ears deceive me? Ya'll just heard what she said right?" Steve asked.
"Now you're sorry, huh?" Two-Bit glared at me.
I clenched my fists tightly, shoving them into my jacket pockets as I shrugged.
"I ain't gonna say it again. I was just...I was in a dark place. You know how I get..." I mumbled.
Two-Bit got up, holding his stomach as he walked over to me until we were both chest to chest.
"Of course I know how you get. Why do you think I tried stoppin' you from bein' with Shepard?" He replied snarkily. "He only gets you into trouble with the fuzz."
"What do you want me to say?! I kept warning you to stay away from me! But like your damn bullheaded family, you refused to listen to me! You think I'm some fragile little doll or something?! I don't need protection!" I argued.
"That's the last thing I think of! But you know what? You better stop pretending to be somethin' you ain't! You put on this little touch guy act, but you know what you are?! Just a stupid scared girl, that got abused by her father! And because Johnny and Dallas died, you think the world revolves around you, like you're the only one that lost them! We were their friends too!" Two-Bit snapped.
I blinked away tears as I was taken by surprise. Never in all of my years of knowing Two-Bit Matthews, did I ever see him look so serious. He was usually the carefree jokester of the gang and it was rare when he wasn't kidding around.
"Two-Bit- -" Soda started.
Soda moved forward to put his hand on Two-Bit's arm, but Two-Bit pulled away getting fed up as he got more agitated.
"No! She needs to hear this dammit!" Two-Bit yelled. "I love you like a sister, but all you do is push people away when all we wanna do is help! You try to act like you can take on the world! You're becoming heartless like Dallas Winston! Pretendin' not to care about anyone but yourself! Dallas was good friend, but he could be a piece of shit sometimes! You're becoming the spitting image of that guy!" He finished.
Silence filled the room for at least five whole minutes. Everyone stood awkwardly in the living room of the Curtis household, unsure of what to do, and unsure of what was going to happen next. I wore a blank expression on my face, trying to seem unaffected by Two-Bit's words, but I knew deep down that he was actually right about this.
You know...he's actually right for once. I'm becoming another Dallas, and not in a good way.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, I burst out laughing at the irony of it all. Out of everyone in the gang, it was Two-Bit Matthews that called me out on my bullshit. It was actually pretty funny, probably the funniest thing about this entire situation. The gang glanced at each other, before they looked at me in concern and worry, most likely thinking to themselves that I had finally lost my sanity.
I'm not that far off, I'm pretty batshit insane the majority of the time.
"Well you know what, Two-Bit? You're not really far off. Good analysis by the way." I told him.
I bit my bottom lip to prevent myself from laughing anymore.
"Is...is she alright?" Steve muttered.
"But hey, you don't gotta worry about me anymore. I'll be dead within a few years anyway. My life's worth nothing. So I guess I'll just stop pretending to be this, "Tough guy" and be the uh... Oh yeah, "The stupid scared girl that got abused by her father" yeah. I think I'll do that!" I chuckled dryly.
"...dead? What're you talkin' about?" Two-Bit frowned deeply.
Darry looked at me with wide eyes, shaking his head in protest, but at this point I could care less about what Darry wanted.
It's better to just leave things out in the open right? They were gonna find out eventually.
"I've got cardiovascular disease, Keith, ol' buddy of mine! With the way my life's been, I'll probably be dead within a year or two! I won't even be able to turn 20 years old! Nope! I'm gonna die soon!" I laughed hysterically.
Two-Bit looked at me like I was an apparition, his skin becoming paler as he stumbled back in shock. Everyone else seemed like they were about to keel over, or even start crying.
"W- -what?" Two-Bit stammered.
"Yeah. Life's not fair. It never was." My smile vanished immediately.
Ponyboy looked ready to throw up or pass out, likely a combination of the two. Soda however, looked completely heartbroken from the news. Steve seemed like he was trying to contain his anger, and also keep his emotions in check. Darry looked disappointed in me, but tried keeping a straight face. Eventually, I pulled out my bandaged hand from my pocket, realizing I had reopened the cut from earlier and could see blood seeping through the makeshift bandage. I shook my head, smiling softly as I headed for the kitchen. When I came back with a wad of paper towels to put pressure on the cut, I glanced over at Darry.
"Now where's the first aid kit? I couldn't find it this morning." I asked him.
"It's in the bathroom. Under the sink." He muttered in reply.
I nodded and went into the bathroom, finally able to find the damn first aid kit.
"You knew?" Soda looked at Darry in hurt and anger.
"She told me not to say anything." Darry mumbled.
"You hid this from us?!" Ponyboy yelled.
"She's been taking something for her blood pressure, we both didn't want to say anything just in case it didn't really work or improve her condition, we didn't want to get your hopes up in any way. The doctor said if she changed her lifestyle, she might have a chance. We didn't know how to tell you guys." Darry admitted.
I came back into the living room, leaning against the doorway to the bathroom casually.
"Don't be mad at Darry, fellas. I told him to keep quiet." I told them.
"And you! Why the hell didn't you tell us?! Why did you lie?!" Soda snapped.
"Why do you think?" I grew serious.
Soda looked down at his feet, falling silent.
"Why tell us now then?" Steve spoke up.
"Two-Bit kinda made me snap to be honest. But hey, it's all out in the open now. No more lies. No more secrets." I spoke grimly.
I got out a cig from my pocket after getting a new bandage for my hand and walked out onto the front porch.
"Fuck..." I grumbled.
I lit the cigarette, looking up into the night sky.
Shit...the moon...it reminds me of the night Johnny and Dallas died.
"Well Dallas. Guess I'll be joinin' your ugly mug soon." I faintly chuckled.
I looked down at Dally's old necklace that hung loosely around my neck, with his ring still attached to it.
"I just had to open my huge fucking mouth." I sighed deeply. "I guess I know where I get that from. And I ain't talkin' about you either, Dal. My dad was always a talker...couldn't shut his mouth to save his own life. I wonder if the bastard's alive still."
Sodapop came out of the house, snatching the cigarette from my mouth and stomped his foot over it angrily to put it out.
"Get back inside. We're not done yet." Soda told me.
"Oh really?" I scoffed.
"Now." Soda nearly growled.
"You're kinda sexy when you're angry." I winked.
After seeing the look on Soda's face, I raised my hands up in surrender and followed him back inside the house.
Yeah...I don't think I wanna start another fight.
"So what? You wanna apologize? Pity me? I don't want either of those things from any of you guys. I might be a bitch, but I guess I've had this comin' for awhile now." I shrugged. "Two-Bit wasn't really far off when he spewed all of that shit from his mouth."
"You might be...hard to deal with at times, but you don't deserve this, darlin'." Two-Bit spoke up. "So don't you say that again."
"Oh really?" I raised an eyebrow.
"I was an idiot. I didn't mean any of it- -"
"Yes, you did mean it. Otherwise, you wouldn't have said it to begin with. I told you I don't want an apology or your pity." I glared at him.
I sighed deeply, craving for another cigarette, my foot tapping impatiently as I shifted uncomfortably where I stood.
"Listen, I think I'm okay with this. I didn't think I'd go out this way, but...I've come to terms with it. I don't want ya'll to treat me any different."
"Well that's the thing. We do. If that doctor thinks changing your lifestyle will help you, then that's what we'll have to do." Ponyboy said determinedly.
"Ponyboy, I love your optimism, but you can't fix this. I ain't gonna change and that's a fact." I leaned against the wall. "I am who I am."
"So that's it then? You ain't gonna even try? You have a second chance to turn things around and instead you're wasting it." Ponyboy glared at me. "You are like Dallas."
"Ponyboy- -"
Darry turned to scold his younger brother, but I merely held up my hand to stop Darry from having another argument with Ponyboy. That was the last thing I wanted: those two knuckleheads at each other's throats again.
"You know...that's all I ever hear from anyone anymore. You sound just like Dallas, you act just like Dallas, Dallas this, Dallas that..." I mumbled softly. "I loved that asshole, but...I hate bein' reminded of him now. I used to think of everything bein' said to me as a compliment, but then I just remind myself that Dallas was cold and calculated at times." I let out a small laugh. "You know, that dipshit always got what he wanted. When he died, he got his damn wish. Sometimes, I doubt that he even cared about me. Otherwise, he'd still be alive. Maybe he only ever cared about Johnny." I felt a lone single tear trickle down my cheek.
Ponyboy looked saddened and confused, but I kept talking, unable to really help myself.
It was like the word vomit, I couldn't stop spewing, I couldn't stop talking...sometimes it just came out.
"I don't think I'll ever be able to get over the fact that he was so willing to give up like that." I continued.
Ponyboy was right. I have to change...I'm becoming Dallas, I'm giving up again. I can't shut everyone out. I can still turn things around. Ponyboy was my last hope in this world. I can't let the kid down.
"I'm just a hypocrite though, accepting my fate. I'm giving up like he is. But like all Heffer's, we're too stubborn to die. For you kid, I won't give up. If you want me to change so badly, then I guess I could do that." I smiled faintly.
Ponyboy was immensely surprised and moved by my words before he came over and hugged me like I was his lifeline. Soda smiled at me, tears brimming in his eyes as he stared at the two of us. I pulled Ponyboy closer towards me, embracing him like he was my own brother, it was a hug full of affection.
"You mean it?" Ponyboy asked hopefully.
"I'll try." I smirked.
I ruffled his hair, chuckling as I heard him fuss over his hairdo.
"You've always had such a way with words, kiddo." I teased.
Ponyboy blushed before he fixed his hair and playfully glared at me.
"So I've heard." He replied.
"Wait? So you're gonna listen to the kid? Just like that?" Two-Bit looked at me in disbelief.
"What can I say? Ponyboy here is such a charmer." I joked.
"You're a crazy broad, you know that?" Steve huffed.
"Only for you, Stevie." I winked at him.
Steve blushed almost uncharacteristically before he huffed and glanced away.
"I hope you don't mind me askin' but...how did you get cardiovascular disease?" Soda asked.
"The doctor thought it could be genetic. Apparently her father's side of the family has had this disease...it wouldn't surprise me if her father has this disease as well." Darry explained for me. "But after everything that's happened, it's been building up over the years. She's a rare case. I don't think they've ever really known anyone so young that's developed this disease."
I nodded at Darry appreciatively before releasing Ponyboy.
"So what? She's gotta stop bein' a greaser? Is that what you're saying?" Steve looked surprised.
"I hate to break it to you, Steve, but it don't work like that." I chuckled. "If I could grow money on trees and live in the life of luxury then I would. The doctor just wants me to change my attitude. The less stress that I have, the longer I might live for. I just need to change when it comes to my...anger issues and anxiety."
"Anger issues? You got that right." Two-Bit muttered.
"Watch it, Matthews." I glared at him.
"Hey, you said it, not me." Two-Bit raised up his hands in defense.
"I was just repeatin' what the doctor said you smartass." I scoffed.
"See? This is the type of shit he was talkin' about. You get riled up so easily." Darry threw his hands up.
"I can't help it. He's a fuckin' jackass." I grumbled. "I'm gonna need to be drugged up 24/7 if you expect my mood to freakin' change."
"Or you could start going to anger management classes. I think you can look for more info at the police station in town." Soda suggested.
"Anger management? Give me a break." I rolled my eyes.
"Hey. You promised Ponyboy. A promise is a promise, doll." Two-Bit smirked.
"Plus seeing a therapist of some kind might help you with...moving on from Dallas and Johnny. Maybe get you some closure." Soda mentioned.
"...maybe." I sighed. "Shit, I don't know."
Soda wrapped an arm around my shoulder, trying to be as supportive as he could.
"Let's just give it a shot okay?" Soda mumbled softly. "Come on. For me?"
Soda smiled charmingly, showing off his pearly white teeth and gazing into my eyes with his vibrant blue eyes.
"Damn you, Sodapop Curtis." I blushed a deep shade of red. "Fine."
"Oh so that's all it takes? A little batting of the eyelashes and you melt like butter?" Steve smirked. "I guess every girl does like Sodapop."
I sighed deeply and glared at Steve, trying not to snap at him.
"It's shit like that that makes me want to fucking punch you in the face." I smiled tensely.
"Oh lay off Steve." Soda swatted his arm playfully. "Are you jealous 'cause I don't spend enough time with you?"
Steve looked at Soda with a mortified expression as Two-Bit burst out into laughter, holding onto Ponyboy as they tried not to say anything about the look on Steve's face. I was surprised that Soda stepped in to defend me like that, but didn't question it as I leaned against him.
"Don't worry, Randle. I won't steal your boyfriend away." I winked at him again.
"I'm gonna get another beer, and we're going to forget this ever happened when I come back." Steve spoke lowly.
Steve went into the kitchen as he said, rummaging through the ice box for another beer.
"Alright, alright. Sodapop will take you into town tomorrow to start lookin'." Darry told me.
"Say what?" I looked at Darry in confusion.
"You're gonna go down to the police station and find out anything about a therapist or anger management classes."
"It's a good thing I'm off tomorrow." Soda grinned. "I finally get to sleep in."
"Don't sleep in too late. No later than noon." Darry told him.
"Got it." Soda nodded.
"God...it's gonna ruin my rep." I groaned. "Walking into a police station willingly."
"Oh come on. It won't be the worst thing to happen." Ponyboy rolled his eyes.
"I hate all of you so much." I sighed in frustration.
"Uh huh. Sure you do." Two-Bit chuckled.
"We gotta find you another way to get rid of all this anger, darlin'. Smoking those cancer sticks ain't gonna help you any." Soda told me.
"I'm sure you two could get out some of that anger together, huh?" Two-Bit wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.
"Oh my god Two-Bit, shut the hell up before I beat your face in!" My face grew red again.
"See Soda? You gotta do somethin' about your girl!" Two-Bit laughed.
Ponyboy looked at Two-Bit in confusion but laughed along with him, finding his behavior amusing.
"My girl huh?"
Soda looked down at me, his arm still around my shoulders.
"Don't try denying it! Let's just address the huge elephant in the room here! You've got the hots for each other!" Two-Bit grinned.
"The only hots I'll be having is when I go to hell and drag you along with me, Keith." I retorted.
Darry sighed and shook his head after giving me a small smile.
"You better keep it down, I'm going to bed." Darry told us.
"Night, Curtis." I nodded at him.
Darry shut the door to his bedroom and everything suddenly got more quiet as we all stared at each other.
"Jackie and Sodapop sittin' in a tree- -"
I whacked Two-Bit on the side of his head, making him burst into another fit of laughter.
"You act like bein' my girl is the end of the world, Jack." Sodapop teased.
If my face got anymore red, I'd swear it would be on fire.
"It's not like that- -" I grew frustrated.
"Oooohhhh. Her face is so red- -"
"Keith." I growled. "Shut the hell up or there'll be a repeat of earlier."
"Listen, man, Tim's been getting a little nosey about his guy Jerry." Dallas brought up.
I tensed up, my mind immediately drifting back to the night of that murder, the night that I had taken another man's life.
"Relax, doll face. I got you covered. I just wanted to warn you ahead of time. Tim will probably come to you at one point." Dally told me.
"Dal...what if I get caught? What if Tim tries comin' after me? I don't know if I can handle all of this." I trembled.
"Listen. All you gotta do is keep your head down."
"But Dal- -"
"Jackie." Dallas snapped. "I know what I'm doing. Do you really doubt me that much?"
"It's not that! I'm just...I'm fucking scared Dallas. I've never been through this kind of situation! I'm not like you!" I cried.
Dallas stopped walking with me, grabbing my hand and pulling me over to him. Our foreheads were now pressed together as Dally clenched my hand tightly. It was almost like Dallas was trying to comfort me, but it was hard to tell because of the type of person that he was. It was rare to see Dallas so caring and concerned at times.
"But you can be. You get tough like me and you don't get hurt. You look out for yourself and nothin' can touch you." Dallas said.
Was it really that simple?
"Jackie...Angel Face...I need you to be strong okay? Be tough."
After a few seconds, I nodded frantically, squeezing his hand in return.
"Yeah, okay. I'll be tough. For you."
Dally didn't say anything in return this time, but gave me a smirk that told me he was pleased by my answer.
FLASH!
"Jackie. Wake up, darlin'." Soda spoke softly.
"Fuck that..." I groaned.
I turned over, pulling the covers over my head as I began to fall back to sleep.
"I'd rather take you on a date before going there."
I grunted and glared at Soda as I sat up in bed, my face heating up.
"Well that's one way to get you up." Soda smirked.
"Why do you guys like to tease me? Do you get some kind of kick out of it?" I grumbled.
"A little bit." Soda chuckled. "Now get dressed, we're going the police station today."
"I was thinking about that and- -"
"No buts. Up and at 'em. I made you some pancakes." Soda cut me off.
"What color?" I groaned.
"Green." He answered with a smile.
"Alright fine. Give me a few minutes." I sighed.
"If I find you still lying in bed by the time I get back, I'll seriously consider tickling you. Don't think I won't." Soda warned me.
Hey guys! I hope you liked the chapter! I'm sorry if Jackie can seem a bit annoying in this chapter. Part of me wanted to convey a different side to her, but I don't know if I did such a good job. I was trying to show how mentally messed up Jacqueline is currently because of everything that's happened. Like after Dallas and Johnny died, she was an emotional wreck, but with the Curtis brother's help, they kind of helped keep her a little more level-headed. I'm hoping to maybe include some more flashbacks of Johnny and Dallas in future chapters, maybe to kind of show how they had a influence on Jacqueline's life. I probably came off as a tad bit dramatic, but I'll mostly go back sometime in the future and rewrite the chapter. I'm hoping Jackie becomes the character I want her to be. Sorry if I'm getting off track or sound confusing! Anyway, let me know what you think and be polite please!