As always, no offense to the real people (though really this story could be taken as extremely offensive)

wowzers some reviews so nifty and favs and follows wow

yup yup here's more of this

I feel so happy when people like my fanfics

this is also turning out to be a lot longer than I expected 6 chapters and 90 pages written in the notebook and when I originally came up qith the 3 main ideas I thought it would be 10 pages at the most

sorry for how long it's taken me to update (almost a month wow)

I'm not proof-reading DELI WITH IT FULZ

so let's go go

also try to pronounce the acronym for the title- EYECWF. My gosh.

"Are you seriously choosing Princess Peach?" Jefferson asks scornfully.

"HECK YEAH!" Hamilton replies defiantly. "Princess Peach is DA SWAGGIEST SWAG. And besides, you're picking a freaking turtle monster."

"TuRtLe!" Laurens cries in a strangled, high-pitched shriek.

"His name is BOWSER, you DUMMY," Jefferson says to Hamilton.

"I do not get Mario. Or boys. Or why this is even happening," Angelica shakes her head.

"I feel the same way," Eliza agrees.

Burr and the others are sitting squished on the couch. Hamilton and Jefferson are on the floor, their faces about three inches away from the television screen. Burr doesn't even bother trying to explain to them how unhealthy that is. He just stays silent and watches the chaos of Mario-Kart unfold.

"Round one," Hamilton speaks like a wrestling show announcer. "That question will be answered this Sunday night-"

"What question?" Jefferson asks.

"THAT question," Hamilton says. "We're going to do the one with the giant bouncy mushrooms 'cause I said so that's why," he adds before Jefferson can question it. "And heck if I can remember what it's called, does it even matter."

"Mushroom gorge," Lafayette supplies.

"It's like he's fighting with himself," Burr observes, "He's insane."

"I like insane guys," Laurens sighs dreamily.

"yeah if you like Hamilton that's pretty obvious," Burr says.

"You can be a real jerk sometimes," Laurens frowns at him.

"I get that a lot, actually," Burr says thoughtfully.

"Yeah, wonder why," Laurens scoffs.

"Stop fighting there's enough of me for everyone," Hamilton doesn't look away from the screen as he speaks.

"Oh my," says Lafayette.

"Actually there's only enough of you or me because I'M YOUR WIFE," Eliza corrects him. "Remember we got married just like an hour ago?"

"And don't think I'm over that," Laurens adds. "I WILL have my revenge on you, Eliza."

Burr snorts. "And you said I was a jerk."

"Can we please focus on the freaking Mario-Kart?!" shouts Jefferson.

"HOLY BANDICOOT TOOT," Hamilton exclaims. "Why am I in twelthf place?!"

"12th," Burr says.

ok so maybe I don't actually know how to write 12th as a word ok don't judge me

Hamilton continues, not paying attention to Burr. "Why am I in last place? We haven't even begun yet!"

"This is going to be a long night," Burr predicts.

"That's how Mario-Kart works," Jefferson points out.

Hamilton refuses to listen. He throws his Wii remote on the floor, drops to his knees, and shakes his fist passionately towards the ceiling.

"Why, God, why me?" Hamilton demands.

"Why me?" Burr moans, covering his face with his hands.

"Why not him?" Hamilton points at Jefferson. "What did I do to deserve this?"

"You were born," Jefferson offers helpfully.

It is too late to turn back now. Hamilton is having a full-blown temper tantrum at God because he started out in last place in a game of Mario-Kart.

Burr needs to find some better friends. It seems he has some kind of idiot magnet. But you know what they say-opposites attract. So on the bright side that must mean Burr is super duper pooper smart which he already knew but still.

(Well as smart as somebody who says super duper pooper can be)

Hamilton flails his arms and legs, wailing unintelligibly. He reminds Burr of a very young child unable to get the toy he wants at a store.

Eliza pulls her husband away. She tells Jefferson not to start yet. Jefferson complains about how long it's taking for their Mario-Kart match to begin.

A few minutes late the Hamiltons return to Lafayette's living room. (I know nobody cares but I spelled that livering first I think it's funny so yeahhhh) Burr doesn't ask what happened. He knows.

Alexander plops down next to Thomas.

"I will murder you," he threatens calmly.

"Not if I murder you first," Jefferson counters.

And so, at long last, the first Mario-Kart race begins.

Burr watches as Princess Peach passes Bowser, putting Hamilton in eleventh place. Hamilton cheers, his earlier meltdown seemingly forgotten. Hamilton passes Luigi. Jefferson gets a speed block and rushes up the rankings. He is ninth place. Hamilton is in tenth.

They get more speed blocks. Soon Hamilton is fourth and Jefferson in fifth. Then they switch and within again.

"Zis es intense," Lafayette comments, his eyes glued to the screen.

As sad as it is, Burr agrees. He's pretty sure it's a sign of failing at life when you could consider a game of Mario-Kart to be so intense.

The two of them arrive at the mushrooms. At first both Hamilton's and Jefferson's characters bounce around with ease.

Suddenly Hamilton, who is in second place, is inked by a squid thingy. His side of the screen is splattered with huge patches of black. Princess Peach plummets to her doom.

Once again Hamilton throws his controller on the ground.

"NOOOOOOO!" he sobs. "She was so young! She had so much more to give! Why did you take her? Answer me, God dang it!"

"Alexander," Eliza speaks in a soothing voice like she's addressing a wild, unpredictable animal (which Burr feels would be an accurate description of Hamilton right now) "Look at the screen."

Hamilton raises his tear-filled eyes to the television. He gasps. "She has returned from the grave! It's a miracle! PRAISE THE LORD!" he exclaims. He pauses, narrowing his eyes. "Wait. Now she's a zombie!"

"Just race, sweetie," Eliza says patiently.

After that interesting turn of events, Hamilton has returned to last place. He grabs his Wii remote and snorts it.

"How's it smell?" Laurens asks, grinning.

"Almost as good as you," Hamilton answers.

Laurens blinks, looking confused, then raises his armpits to get a quick whiff. Burr can smell it from where he's sitting on the opposite end of the couch. It's bad enough to make him gag. The Wii remote must smell horrendous if it's worse than Laurens.

Hamilton continues to race. Jefferson is in first place. He has begun his second lap. It seems Hamilton will not win this round.

Of course, knowing Hamilton, he isn't going to ever give up. He's also going to scream and call Mario, who is right in front of him, words Burr never would have predicted Mario would be called.

Hamilton is very unpredictable, in the strangest way possible.

"Hey Laf," Burr taps Lafayette on the shoulder.

"Don't touch me," Lafayette orders without even looking away from the screen.

Oh Jeez louis man some times (ok always) it feels like everyone except Burr is a complete idiot.

"Do you have some Tylenol or something?" Burr asks.

"Oui oui zere should be some in ze medicine cabinet in ze bathroom." Lafayette turns to look at Burr with a hopeful expression. "Are you going to kill yourzelf with a overdoze?" (all the grammar mistakes I made trying to make him sound Frenchy)

"No." burr scowls at Lafayette. Before he can stop himself he adds, "and it's an overdose, not a overdoze."*

Lafayette sinks back and looks at the screen. He mutters a French word under his breath. It is not a nice word. "This is why I don't like you, Burr," he grumbles.

"Because I don't want to commit suicide?" Burr says sarcastically.

"I don't even know how to answer that" Lafayette replies.

"Then don't." Burr gets up and walks to the bathroom.

He finds the Tylenol in the medicine cabinet just like Lafayette said. Burr pauses before pooping the pills in his mouth.

What if Lafayette poisoned the Tylenol?

Well that was pretty stupid actually. How would Lafayette have even known Burr would be taking some Tylenol? He hadn't even known Burr would be in his house until...well until Burr was in his house. Besides Lafayette didn't hate Burr that much.

(actually he probably did but Burr doesn't want to be worrying about Lafayette possibly murdering him)

Burr decides to take the Tylenol. Even if he dies it's worth it because the headache Hamilton gave him is just that bad. He drinks some water straight out of the faucet. He likes his water fffffrrrrrreeeeeeessssssshhhhhhh.

There's extra-loud yelling down the hall.

"THIS GAME IS RIGGED!" Hamilton screams.

Burr knows he should stay in the bathroom and wait it out. But he is very curious. It must be from Hamilton's bad influence. So Burr sneakity snakes out to watch.

On the screen is the scoreboard. They must have finished the first match. First place is Bowser. Jefferson won.

Burr walks in on Jefferson's terrifying victory dance. Jefferson dabs rapidly then does the whip and the nae nae. He collapses onto the floor to attempt to do the worm while dabbing. It is a sight that will give Burr nightmares for as long as he lives. Desperately Burr wants to look away but he is captivated by Jefferson's nightmarish dance.

"You!" Hamilton turns on Lafayette, distracting Burr from Jefferson. THANK GOD.

"Moi?" Lafayette says innocently.

"You rigged the Mario-Kart!" Hamilton accuses. He drops down on his knees and begins to cry. "How could you, Lafayette?" You've betrayed me!" Hamilton shouts through his tears.

"I didn't do anyzing! I zwear!" Lafayette protests.

"And now you're SWEARING," Hamilton sobs. "You used to be such a good kid!"

"You never even knew me az a child. I was in France," Lafayette points out. "Bezides I've been zwearing since I met you." See more evidence that Hamilton is an awful role-model.

"Calm down, Alexander," Eliza comforts her psychotic husband. "There are still two more rounds."

Hamilton sniffles and smiles at her. "Thank you, Eliza. You're always there when my friends betray me." He glares pointedly at Lafayette who raises his hands like a criminal caught by the cops.

"Now go kick Jefferson's butt," Eliza leans in to kiss him on the lips.

Laurens practically flies off the couch, shrieking. He grabs Eliza and forcefully yanks her away from Hamilton.

"Don't kiss him!" Laurens orders. His arms and legs are shaking.

"Wha-He's my husband, you freak!" Eliza exclaims.

"Laurens, calm down," Hamilton says.

Burr shuffles away from them, closer to the bathroom. He doesn't go all the way in, because he wants to be able to see everything.

Everything.

Laurens releases Eliza. He grabs Hamilton by his shirt collar. Burr realizes that all the guys, including himself, and still wearing their tuxedos from the wedding, and the girls are still wearing their dresses. It feels like it's been years since the Hamiltons were married (for you it feels more like a month probably)

"I loved you!" laurens wails.

"Uh I love you too?" Hamilton seems sane compared to Laurens, and that's saying A LOT.

"I LOVED YOU!" Laurens repeats, louder and more emotional this time. Burr sees actual tears running down his face. "And you betrayed me!"

"I thought Lafayette was the traitor," Burr says.

"I'm going to show you how it feels!" Laurens continues heatedly. "I'm going to get married, too!"

"Um. Congratulations?" Hamilton tries.

Laurens runs out of Lafayette's house, sobbing uncontrollably.

Eliza shakes her head. "I KNEW we shouldn't have had alcohol at that party!"

*actually overdoze is a word it means sleeping too much**

**it does now

eeeh I love Burr he's so grumpy

but super nifty the niftiest

it recognizes niftiest?

Yes so again, sorry for taking so long to update, please review

hopefully I'll update sooner this time