ahhh x3 thanks for all reviews and support everyone
oh my lord it takes me so long to update so sorry everyone this chapter is REALLY long which is part of my excuse, the other part being that I lost The Holy Notebook and just found it Nov 28 (about a month since my last update)
very long chapter loads of dialogue
as always no offense intended to the real people
"Should we follow him?" Mulligan wondered.
"We better." Burr sighs. He looks out the door. Laurens has gone several yards away. Fortunately he is running, not driving. That is fortunate for many reasons, one being that he would be a lot farther away if he was driving, another being that he clearly is not sober and would probably get into an accident.
Hamilton runs outside, chasing Laurens. "JOOOOOHNNNNNN NO DON'T LEAVE ME!"
"STOP FOLLOWING ME YOU CREEP!" Laurens yells over his shoulder.
The others catch up to Hamilton. "Is now a bad time to confess that I like to watch him while he sleeps?" Hamilton asked, too quiet for Laurens to hear.
"Alexander." Burr places a hand on Hamilton's shoulder and solemnly looks him in the eye. "It is always a bad time to confess that you like watching people sleep."
"Just one person," Hamilton protests, as if that makes it better.
"You're a freaking stalker," Jefferson says.
"I think that's a compliment!" Hamilton chirps.
"Where is Laurens going?" Angelica asks, probably trying to change the subject. She pointed at his retreating shape.
"Ze park?" Lafayette guesses.
"Oh yeah he loves that place," Hamilton nods thoughtfully. "I like to watch him when he goes there to sketch turtles. He's really se-"
"WOAH BOY," Angelica interrupts loudly.
Eliza gives Hamilton an odd look. "Where you about to say what I think you were?"
"I was going to say se,uh... se... yeah, okay you know," Hamilton admits.
"LET'S GO," Jefferson orders.
"Who do you think you are bossing us around like that?" Hamilton snaps.
"Somebody's gotta take the lead. It should be the person who becomes president at some point," Jefferson says.
"But you aren't president now," Hamilton argues.
"Why are you even fighting about this?" Burr demands.
"At least it makes more sense than how many o's are in the word bandicoot," Eliza shrugs.
"Laurens iz getting away," Lafayette says.
He was very far now, so so far. He's so far that Burr is being to reconsider chasing him down.
"Wait-" Burr begins.
"WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND WAITING?" Hamilton shrieks. "WAS IT NOT ENOUGH TO SING A WHOLE FREAKING SONG ABOUT WAITING?!"
"Alexander calm down," Eliza strokes his hair.
Hamilton hits her wife's hand. "ONLY JOHNNY BOI CAN DO THAT TO ME," he yells.
"JOHN IS NOT YOUR SPOUSE!" Eliza screams back. Burr is shocked. He has never heard her raise her voice so much before. Even though she's not mad at him, Burr is terrified by the fury in her voice. "JOHN DOES NOT GET TO TOUCH YOU IN WAYS THAT I CAN'T."
"Oh my," Lafayette says.
"That sounds wrong," Angelica says.
"Oh come on like you aren't jealous of John, too," Hamilton says to her.
"WHAT" Angelica yells.
"I'm not jealous of John," Eliza says simultaneously with her sister. "I'm the one who got you, Jesus Christ, Alexander!"
"Or are you?" Hamilton asks.
"SO BURR," Mulligan says loudly. "What were you saying earlier?"
"Huh?"
"When you said 'wait'?" Mulligan prompts.
"Ohhh I forgot about that," Burr says. "Well I was going to say let's think about this. I mean Laurens is so far away already, and this is John Laurens we're talking about. Is it really worth it to go chase him down? Why don't we just go home and wait for him to come back? And if he doesn't, is it really that bad?"
Everyone says at Burr blankly for a few moments.
Lafayette breaks the silence. "Wow. Zat was cold, even for you."
Hamilton grins like the idiot he is. He nudges Burr with his elbow. "So Angelica and Eliza aren't the only jealous lovers over here, huh, Burr?"
"WE ARE NOT JEALOUS," Angelica snaps.
"Wait you guys are lovers?" Mulligan asks.
"Are you jealous, too?" Hamilton wiggles his eyebrows.
"LET'S GO," screams Jefferson.
This time Hamilton does not object. They have wasted a lot of time talking, and everyone except for Burr wants to get going. Burr just follows along. He is what some people would call a "Sheep" and what others would call the first two letters with two other letters behind them.
"I hope we didn't miss John's wedding!" Hamilton says anxiously.
"Pfffft," Jefferson says no really he actually sounds pfffft out, "there's no way he's actually getting married. Nobody would even date him."
"I would date him!" Hamilton defends Laurens all spicy-like.
"Yeah, and you're a nobody," Jefferson says cheerfully.
"Alexander, you wouldn't be dating anyone because you're married to me," Eliza puts in.
"Oh snap I forgot about that," Hamilton says to Eliza. He turns to Jefferson. "And this is for you." He sticks up his naughty finger.
Jefferson bites the finger. Burr automatically shields Angelica's eyes. Angelica bites his hand.
"What is it with all the biting?" Burr yelps shaking his hand.
"Don't touch my face," Angelica snaps.
Burr is tempted to poke her face now that she just said not to. Good for him he isn't Hamilton and is able to suppress his urges.
"I'm going to get freaking rabies!" Hamilton tries to pull his finger out of Jefferson's mouth, which just causes Jefferson to bite down harder.
Eliza pries open Jefferson's mouth so Hamilton can pull out his finger. Being an idiot also know as himself Hamilton pokes Jefferson's eyes with his naughty fingers.
Hamilton runs off. Jefferson pursues him, shouting some foul bro language at the top of his lungs. Everyone else follows so they can intervene if Jefferson attempts to murder Hamilton. Well, not Burr. He follows, being the sheep he is, but he would not do anything if Jefferson attempts to kill Hamilton. He might actually film it and put it on YouTube. That way maybe he'll get some subscribers. Turns out nobody likes his videos of him waiting. They're really boring and to be honest even Burr isn't sure what he's waiting for all he knows is he's willing to wait for it.
They find Laurens at the park, as Lafayette had guessed. He is standing at the bank of the lake. There is a bagel in his hand. Burr wonders when and where he got that. Maybe the strange conversations they had had (I love when it's proper grammar to say that) taken even longer than he thought.
"Why do you have a bagel?" Mulligan asks.
Laurens whips around and stares at them wildly, like he is rabid as well as drunk. Instead of answering Mulligan's question he says, "You're too late to stop me! She's coming now!"
"It's a she? I zought he was gay," Lafayette says.
"There's no women here," Jefferson says. In fact there is nobody else in the park, which is strange but convenient so Burr doesn't question it.
"Excuse me!" Angelica says angrily, gesturing to herself and Eliza.
"Excuse you," Jefferson replies rudely, covering his nose as if Angelica just farted.
"That's not what I meant," Angelica growls.
"Laurens, please don't do this," Hamilton begs, "Think about the kittens!"
"You did it first," Laurens snaps without looking away from the pond.
"I bet she's a swamp monster," Jefferson says.
"I bet she's imaginary," Mulligan puts in.
Thinking of Laurens' inexplicable, undying love for turtles, Burr says, "I bet she's a turtle."
"Here she comes!" Laurens announces excitedly. He starts singing, "Here comes the bride! Here comes the bride!"
"If you haven't proposed she's not a bride yet," Burr corrects him.
"Shh," Hamilton whispers.
Burr shuts up. You'd think he'd be better at that since he's always saying "talk less smile more"
Burr and the others peer closer as a tiny shape bobs up and down in the water, approaching the edge of the pond.
A turtle crawls out onto the grass.
"Wow," Lafayette says.
"Ha!" Burr holds out his hand. "Pay up!"
"We didn't bet any money," Jefferson points out.
"Fair enough," Burr agrees.
"Shh I wanted to see," Eliza whispers.
Everyone falls silent as Laurens kneels down.
"Turtle," he says solemnly, "I've been thinking about this a lot, at least since Alex-" he pauses to glare at Hamilton then turns back to the turtle who doesn't appear to be listening, instead waddling off to the left-"and I love you. You're the greatest person, uh, turtle, I've ever met. I decided I'm ready for the next step." Laurens nudges the turtle a little to the right so she is directly in from of him, but she begins moving again instantly. "And if you're ready, too...will you please marry me?"
Eliza sniffles and dabs her eyes very daintily. Then she grabs Hamilton's sleeve and blows her nose all over it.
The turtle stops walking. Laurens holds the bagel in front of her face.
"Is that supposed to be the ring?" Jefferson asks skeptically.
"Yes," Laurens answers.
There is about a full minute where nobody moves or speaks, not even the turtle. Then she (or maybe it's a he Burr has no idea how to tell) stretches out her neck.
"She's going to accept it!" Laurens whispers excitedly. Burr assumes that if the turtle eats the bagel it's the equivalent of her saying yes.
The turtle raises its head closer. Eliza looks as happy as if she were the one about to get married. Even Burr can't help but feel good for Laurens.
Which he knows is stupid, because the man is proposing to a freaking turtle, for Christ's sake.
It feels like the moment right before she bites drags on forever.
Then
she
opens
her
mouth
and...
Misses.
now two of the three things have happened! Sort of. The Mario-Kart has yet to be completed.
So how will we reach Burr being locked in a Port-A-Potty?
what do you really think i'm going to spoil it
again, so sorry for the late updates, I'll try to update sooner from now on