whoo left a cliffhanger-ish at least close considering this a humor story end with chapter 3 so here we go resolve that
does she accept the bagel
does she not accept it
will I ever actually write this
the answers when we come back
(as always, no offense to any real people-or turtles)
The turtle snaps its jaws shut on Laurens' hand. Apparently she can't resist the peer pressure from Jefferson and Angelica to bite fingers.
Laurens screams. He shake his hand, trying to throw the turtle off. She does not release him.
Always a great friend, Jefferson falls onto the ground, laughing hysterically.
"Oh look!" he snickers, "She loves you so much she can't let go!"
Laurens' face brightens. "Oh, ow, hey! You're-OW! Right! OWWW!" He scream again.
"Somebody call an ambulance!" Eliza shrieks.
"I left my phone at Lafayette's house," Burr says.
"I left mine at the church. On purpose. It's the safest place, 'cause nobody would ever steal from a church, because God would see it, and he would know for 100% sure that they broke on of the Ten Commandments, and he'll have proof because as everyone knows Jesus films everything that happens in a church," Hamilton says.
"If anyone has a phone they should also call some mental help for Hamilton," Burr says.
"JUST CALL NINE ONE ONE ALREADY!" Laurens yells.
"I got my phone," Lafayette says. He pulls out a cell phone and stares blankly at the screen for a moment. "Uh what iz ze number?"
(okay every time I try to write French accent I die inside just prepare for a lot more cringe in a lot more laf die-logue)
"911! Like I said!" Laurens shouts.
"Okay, okay, calm down," Lafayette mutters, clicking the number. He holds it up to his ear. "Bonjour. Mon ami has just been bitten by a turtle. He waz trying to propose to it. Not a joke. We're at ze park, near ze pond. Um... Seriously. He waz proposing to a turtle. My accent is not fake...why would you say zat? Bonjour?" A pause. Lafayette put his phone away. "Well, zey gave me ze number for Hamilton's mental help but zey are not coming."
"Oh shoot that's not very good," Mulligan says.
"So now what do we do?" Angelica asks.
"Let's follow Jefferson's lead. We have nothing better to do." Burr flops down on the ground and starts laughing. Laughyette shrugs and does the same.
"SOMEBODY GET THIS FREAKING TURTLE OFF MY HAND!" Laurens screams.
"Hey don't talk to your fiancé like that!" Mulligan says.
"I'LL SAVE YOU!" Hamilton slow-motion runs like this is Baywatch or something. He preforms the Heimlich maneuver on Laurens.
"I'm not chocking!" Laurens protests.
"I know I just wanted to squeeze you," Hamilton releases him.
"Just get her off!" wails Laurens, shoving his hand with the turtle attached in Hamilton's face.
"Oh hey it's actually a boy," Hamilton says. He rips the turtle from off of Laurens' hand.
Laurens' whole arm falls down.
Laurens and Hamilton stare at it for a few moments, then at each other, then start screaming.
"Oh my God! Oh my God!" Eliza yells repeatedly.
"how did that even happen?" Burr cries.
Laurens' body starts spasming. His arm slides out of his sleeve. "It's just a prank," he laughs.
"What?" Lafayette asks.
"oh that makes sense. I knew there was no way you would ever actually propose to a turtle," Burr says.
Laurens gives him an injured look. "I actually did propose to the turtle. My arm falling off was the prank."
Burr feels very awkward now.
"But really that hurt so bad." Laurens looks at Hamilton. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I still love you."
"No, I'm sorry. I got married first," Hamilton apologizes.
"Yeah, but you did it with a human," Burr says.
Hamilton ignores him. He grabs Laurens and makes out with him.
"I'm right here, you know," Eliza calls.
"Shh," Lafayette shushes her, still laying on the grass. "Zey are having a moment."
"Alexander you should not be having moments with other people!" Eliza wails.
"I can see why you prefer Laurens," Jefferson tells Hamilton. "She's so whiney!"
"Look who's talking," Angelica retorts.
"When have I ever been whiney?" Jefferson whines.
"Uh, right now?" Angelica says.
"Let's go back now," Jefferson says loudly, clearly trying to change the subject from his whininess. "We need to finish the Mario-Kart."
Hamilton continues kissing Laurens.
"come on let's go already," Jefferson says impatiently, finally getting up.
They continue to smooch.
"God," Jefferson mutters. He yanks Hamilton away, causing him and John to make loud squealing noises. Seeing an opportunity he'll probably never have again, Jefferson shoves Hamilton into the pond.
"BAD DOG, THOMAS," Laurens yells.
"I AM NOT A DOG!" Jefferson snaps.
Hamilton climbs out of the pond. Jefferson kicks him back in.
"That's not very nice," Mulligan says.
"YOUR FACE IS NOT VERY NICE!" Jefferson screams.
"You used zat line already," Lafayette says. "It's old you need something original."
"YOUR FACE NEEDS SOMETHING ORIGINAL!" Jefferson says.
"Well it's closer I guess," Burr says.
"You're getting zere?" Lafayette tries.
"Not really," Hamilton says, still in the pond.
"SO," Jefferson says loudly. "Are we going back to finish the Mario-Kart game or not?"
"Well if you would stop shoving me under water," Hamilton says, "Then yeah sure let's go."
"Alrighty to Lafayette's house!" Jefferson announces.
"Don't say that!" Hamilton warns Jefferson. "Only I get to say that."
"Jeez okay," Jefferson backs up.
"TO LAFAYETTE'S HOUSE!" Hamilton screeches.
"I should have taken an overdose," Burr groans.
"You should have," Lafayette agrees.
wow record timing got this super short chapter done in like a week lol
unfortunately I'm really busy in real life with play practice and school so don't get used to these speedy updates
I'll update as fast as I can though ^^