"You cared much for Ben Solo."
"Yes, I did." She answered, her eyes still wet from the memory she had just relived.
"And now?" He asked, believing she would speak to him honestly.
"Now I know there is no reason for me to start caring again."
She hoped that her words would impact him in some way. She hoped that somehow, they would hurt him. She knew it was futile to hope, though. This shell of a man was nothing compared to the boy she had grown up with.
"I find that hard to believe." He said, trying to get her to react emotionally to him once more. There was a small part of him that wanted to see if she truly meant her words. What would it mean if she did? Would there be absolutely no hope of him returning to the light? He was still at war with himself, and he knew his decision to bring her back to base with him made his struggle all the more difficult. But he could feel the Dark Side of himself winning – he was enjoying seeing her broken, defeated and hopeless. It made it easier for him to catch her gaze as she stared up at him.
"You said it yourself, Ben Solo does not exist anymore. He would not have forced me to relive something that obviously pains me. Perhaps that is all the evidence I'll ever need."
"And yet you feel lonelier now than ever before. How is that possible, when you had made peace with him being gone all those years ago?" He asked, genuinely curious to know the answer.
"Sometimes the smallest sliver of hope can be the most dangerous weapon; especially when it is being manipulated by the wrong person."
He smirked at her response, and his expression sent a single shiver up her spine. It was hard to look at him; to see a face she knew so well attached to someone she hardly seemed to know at all. He had worn her out, and there was nothing she could do now but wait to see what action he would take next. She still wished that he would be affected by her display of indifference – maybe he needed to think that she did not care for him anymore to realize how much she actually mattered – or used to matter – to him. She needed to believe that her Ben was still in there, even if it took a whole lifetime to pry him back from the depths of himself.
"Your search for hope will be in vain. It will not save you now, nor will it be your tool for redemption." He said, enjoyment of her pain plainly visible on his features. He had never looked at her like that before. Ben, at least, had never looked at her like that before.
"In your scenario, who is it I'm seeking redemption for? Myself, or you?"
"Both, I'd wager."
"I never would have figured you for a betting man. Ben wasn't one for it, anyway."
The grim smirk on his face was replaced with an angry sneer. She realized her mistake too late. She should not have mentioned his real name; but his familiar face made it hard for her to remember.
"You know that my name is not Ben." He said, his voice trembling with fury.
"Your face makes it hard to remember." She snapped back at him, sick of him being there, sick of him making her feel unworthy. She was done.
"You sound annoyed." He said, the corners of his lips once more curling upwards in a smirk.
"I am. You've had your fun. You've beaten me into the ground and then pulled me back up only to make it worse once more. My emotions are a game to you, and I've realized that you don't care about me. You've made it clear. I don't know what else it is you plan to do with me – but right now, I'd like you to do me the courtesy of putting on your helmet and leaving me alone."
She stared straight into his eyes as she said her piece. He seemed to consider making a snarky remark about how being courteous was not in his nature, but decided against it in the last moment. Satisfied that he would leave her, she looked back down at her fidgeting hands, waiting to hear his footsteps retreat from her cell. Before he did so, however, he lightly touched his fingers under her chin, lifting up her face to lock eyes with him one last time. It was an intimate gesture that made her stomach churn. Ben had done that with her, countless times, whenever she refused to tell him what was bothering her. It was moments like these that made it hard to forget that he was not himself anymore.
His fingers still resting under her chin, he leaned down towards her to whisper one last menacing thing to her before he finally left her in peace. She could feel his breath lightly brushing against her face; it simultaneously intoxicated her the same way it had done in her memory and sickened her enough to recoil back from his touch.
"I'll leave, for now."
With those words, he turned on his heel, picked up his helmet from the table it rested on and closed the door in a surprisingly gentle yet sinister manner before stalking down the hallway back to the bridge.
Cara had no idea how many days had passed since her emotionally draining encounter with her captor, Kylo Ren, her Ben. She had no appetite for the dismal food they brought her – she had no curiosity for any of the arguments she heard outside her door. She only stared out the window, counting the stars in the galaxy, trying to fall asleep as much as possible.
On another such occasion, as she had just counted star 387, she heard the familiar jingling of keys outside her door that always happened right before a Stormtrooper came to deliver one third of her daily abysmal meals.
As the door opened with only the whoosh of a small breeze to acknowledge it was actually happening, she noticed something different. The food was accompanied by a smell, a delightful smell – something that had not happened once before with any of the food that had been given to her. The smell was heady, almost inebriating, and she quickly sat up to regard the Stormtrooper that had brought the food in.
She could immediately tell that he was different. Whereas most troopers simply dumped the tray by the door, he walked in, set it down carefully on the table in the corner and actually seemed to remember that she was there. She recognized the gesture – only one other Stormtrooper she had come into contact with had acknowledged her presence in that same careful way before. She noticed that he turned to leave, but she quickly stopped him with a question.
"You – you're that Stormtrooper that stopped me from scouting the ship the other day." She quickly tried to remember the code Kylo Ren – Ben – had used to command him.
"FN-2187, right?"
He turned his head to look at her, his quick movement showing her that he was surprised at her question. He nodded, ever so slightly, but she was able to catch the motion.
"The food you brought me is different. It smells good."
He seemed to be rooted in place, as though he was unused to someone conversing with him as though he was really there. He nodded again, but this time, the action was a little more pronounced.
She smiled at him, thankful that for the first time since she had arrived here, someone was actually treating her as though she was a human being. Suddenly, he shook his head, as if snapping out of a daze, and turned his back on her to walk out the door.
"Thank you." She said, before he could have the chance to leave. He stopped in his tracks for a second before moving to open the door. Before he could do so, however, someone else stalked into the room. Cara had not seen this man before – he had a stern look on his face, his ginger hair surprisingly striking against his pale skin. He wore a black, well-fitted uniform, and he had an air of self-importance about him that immediately allowed her to take a disliking to him.
"You're dismissed." He said in a clipped tone to the Stormtrooper who had treated her so well.
She said nothing to the stranger, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of asking the first question. He did not seem to mind though – it appeared he already had a topic of discussion on his mind.
"So you are the one Kylo Ren brought home from Jakku. How wonderfully disappointing."
She was somewhat insulted by his comment, but held her tongue. She did not need any more enemies on this ship, no matter how awful they may be.
"Has he mentioned anything of his intentions with you? I imagine they are rather ghastly."
She remained quiet once more. Apparently he took her silence as a no. He smiled a sinister smile, an expression that made her blood run cold.
"I take it you are not aware of who I am. I am General Hux, commander of this vessel. Kylo Ren may have taken you prisoner but you are a prisoner on my ship. You will answer me when I speak to you."
She refused to utter a single word, but he was getting to her. He was intimidating – perhaps not to the same degree as Kylo Ren – but intimidating nonetheless. She would try to stand her ground. He started pacing across her cell, keeping one eye trained on her as he walked.
"I have my own ways of making you answer me. For now though, I will speak, and you will listen."
Cara remained utterly silent.
"It's a strange coincidence, wouldn't you say, that the day that Kylo Ren decided that he would take you prisoner his tantrums were elevated to an all new level of lunacy. As though there was something about you that bothered him. And yet, here we are, a mere few weeks later, and suddenly, it is as though a weight has been lifted off of his shoulders. Almost as though he revealed something to you, revealed to you who he truly was."
She averted her gaze then, a nervous tick of hers that told General Hux more than any of her words ever could.
"Understood. Now my only question is, why would it matter to him? Why would a mere villager from Jakku matter enough to be told the truth of his heritage?"
He kept pacing and forged on with his speech, as though he had forgotten that she was even there to begin with.
"Why would it affect him so? He has been calm, calmer than any of us are used to from him. What is that you mean to him?"
She sat further back on her bench, away from the menacing man now standing still in front of her.
"You do not have to tell me anything at the moment, but I do promise you that I will find out. When I do, you will be the first to know. My actions will then depend on what I find. If there is a relationship between the two of you, I will figure it out and I will use it to my advantage. Of that, you can be assured."
He smiled at her once more before leaving the room; a toothy and menacing grin that made her entire body cringe and long for the only familiar face she knew on this ship.
A/N: I went to see TFA for the third time today, and I noticed so many more details now then I did either time before! I would highly recommend going to see it again :) As ever, thanks for any reviews, follows and favorites you give me. They mean a lot! Now that the reviews have finally been synced again, I'll be replying to them to thank you guys for the support :)