Seventy-Eight
Even More Crazy Driving

This chapter inspired by Nighttyger's review.

Hey, remember that thing I said about this getting back to frequent updates? Yea. That. That promise promptly died halfway through the week.

ANYWAY…

"See you all later! Bye! Bye! You need help with that spaceship? No? Okay!" Quilava continued waving to the leaving company.

"Well…that was interesting," Pittoo ("It's Dark Pit." Whatever) coughed.

"'Interesting' is supposed to be reserved for NORMAL feasts," Charizard groaned. "I'd use the phrase 'chaotic' for that one."

"That's what they all say, don't they?" Kuro ("Seriously?" I heard it from a reviewer, deal with it!) questioned.

"THEY are fortunate enough as to not have a bow-on-diamond-sword-on-pirate-sword duel over who cuts the turkey!" Charizard roared.

"True, true," Pittoey ("DON'T MAKE ME COME UP THERE!) FIIIIINE, Dark Pit hummed.

"Hey, why haven't you left yet?" Zoroark perked.

Everyone looked up to where the Lightning Chariot was embedded in the wall (Reevee21 was in the process of dialing someone to fix that wall, by the way). It was still shining in its beautiful-yet-weird, ancient-greek-styled way…

…but it was just the Lightning Chariot, not the Lightning Chariot with two unicorns at the helm.

"Who stole my steeds?!" Dark Pit ("THANK YOU") growled.

"I dunno!" Treecko gasped.

"Probably Rotom," Flygon said over a cup of Joe.

"No clue," Serperior shrugged. Let's all ignore the fact that snakes can't shrug.

"A My Little Pony…?" Lucario suggested hopefully.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Equestria…

"Ya know, you two fellers don't talk much," Apple Jack noted to the two light blue, pink-mained unicorns in her yard.

One of them, Phos, whinnied plainly.

Back in the PC box…

"Well, I obviously can't drive back home," Dark Pit groaned, pointing to the lonesome Lightning Chariot, "it took me five hours at light-speed to get here in the first place, so flying's out of the question. Any suggestions?"

"We could always have Charizard or Flygon fly you back home," Quilava shrugged.

"It would take days."

"They're skilled."

Meanwhile, back at the actual Lightning Chariot, Treecko's head poked out of the cockpit.

"Hey! It's actually pretty cool in here!" he noted.

"Why are we doing this?" Absol asked, next to the Minecraft nerd.

"It's the flicking LIGHTNING CHARIOT, we are SO going to hijack it," Zoroark grinned evily.

"Are you crazy?!" Absol shout-whispered. Pausing, he added, "Never mind, you are."

"Took ya long enough," Buizel grunted.

"Wait!" Treecko gasped, turning back to them in panic. "I just realized something!"

"We're about to litteraly steal a greek god's ride?" Absol deadpanned.

"I already knew that," Treecko huffed. "First off, none of us can actually drive. Mainly because we don't have thumbs."

The Pokemon glanced to their hands with dismay. "Nuts," they groaned.

"Second, we don't have anyone to pull this thing!" Treecko facepalmed. "Who can move a thing like this at the speed of light?"

It was then that they heard Quilava declaring "They're skilled." Lightbulbs went up over Treecko, Zoroark, and Buizel's heads. Absol, meanwhile, simply pressed himself to the floor and whimpered, "I don't wanna die…"

About an hour later, at the bottom of the wall…

"Thanks again for repairing the wall, Ana!" Reevee21 smiled at the newly-built wall before shuffling through her wallet. "So, what currency do you work in?"

"Oh, Pokemon currency works," a girl with shiny black hair tied up into two buns answered, turning away from her current job of replastering the wall. The first human OC was also in a turquoise t-shirt and jeans, both slightly ridden with oil stains, and holding a double-decker chocolate ice cream cone in the other.

Serperior slithered over, her face covered by a jean jacket. "This yours?" she grunted.

"Yea," Ana answered plainly.

"…could you get it off?"

"Oh, sure," Ana answered, snatching it and admiring the repaired wall. "Heyyyy, didn't you guys also need to remove a chariot?"

"I think so, unless the Pokemon hijacked it. And they're smarter than that, aren't they?" Reevee21 smiled nervously.

"MY CHARIOT!" Dark Pit yelped at the empty hole where the chariot once was.

Reevee21 facepalmed, muttering, "guys, you IDIOTS!"

"DID SOMEONE JUST CALL ME AN IDIOT?!"

Reevee21 and Ana looked up at the Chestnaught towering over them.

Ana smiled nervously and slowly inched away while Reev faced her doom.

Meanwhile, somewhere IN SPAAAAACE…

"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAA NELLY!" Treecko laughed in glee, holding the reigns. Said reigns were tied to Flygon and Charizard, who had offered their assistance in pulling the Lightning Chariot.

"THISH ISH THA WEIRDESHT THING I EVER DONE SHINSH COLLAGHE!" Flygon yelled, his gums flapping in the high-speed winds.

"YOU TUUK COLLAGHE?!" Charizard asked.

"I HATE YOU PEOPLEEEEE!" Absol whined, holding onto the end of the chariot for dear life.

"LOOK, NYAN CAT!" Zoroark pointed to the pop-tart cat…WHO THEY WERE OUT-RACING.

"EAT OUR OUWN DAST, KATTY!" Buizel taunted as the electric sparks started frying the poptart-bodied kitten.

The hijacked Lightning Chariot proceeded to blaze through the Kid Icarus realm, outspeed the team of Starfox and Starwolf, and zip past Sora and the gang in their own (repaired) spaceship. Not to mention play every song on Dark Pit's playlist.

Wait, the Lightning Chariot has an iPod shuffle player?

"MOSKAU, MOSKAU, WE DON'T KNOW THE WO-O-ORDS!" all the Pokémon (except Absol, who was ranting on about rights or something) bellowed.

"HEY, LET'S SEE WHAT'S NEXT!" Zoroark declared, jamming the 'next' button with a claw.

"Lately, I've been, I've been loosing sleep," the radio sang, "dreaming about the things that we should be, but baby, I've been, I've been prayin' hard…so no more counting dollars, we'll be counting stars…yea, we'll be counting…stars."

"OH MA GOUSH I LUV THIS SONG!" Buizel declared. "EIT'S LIKE OUR THEME!"

"IT IS, ISN'T IT?!" Zoroark agreed.

While Treecko was distracted, about to say his own opinion, the chariot crashed into, WHADDYA KNOW, the PC box's wall! In the exact same spot!

"OUR BEAUTIFUL WALL!" Reevee21 sobbed again.

"MY BEAUTIFL CHARIOT!" Dark Pit wailed at the broken, shattered, annulated pieces of the Lightning Chariot.

And, right in the center of the mess, was a very guilty-looking Treecko, Zoroark, Buizel, Flygon, and Charizard (Absol trotted off, muttering, "I'm a victim, don't blame me.").

About an hour and Dark Pit's wrath later…

"Alright, everything's back to normal," Shaymin sighed, collapsing onto the couch.

It was true; Ana had fixed up the wall before anyone could look (even caring enough to patch up that one hole in the Narrating Platform), the broken Lightning Chariot was hauled off into storage for another chapter, the Pokémon who had hijacked it were properly punished with blade cuts, and they had even managed to eat all the leftovers!

"No it isn't!" Swellow chirped, flapping over and landing on the back. "We still have Dark Pit!"

"At least you aren't all like Reevee21," Dark Pit shrugged, sitting next to the couch with his arms crossed behind his head. "I can't put up with all the nicknames."

"Sure, Kuro," Kirlia smirked, "sure."

"I've got an idea!" Swellow declared.

"what?" Dark Pit asked. "…I probably just sealed my own fate."

A few minutes later, in the Narrating Platform…

Reevee21 was typing, Percy was zonked out on one of the chairs, Zelda was pouting how she didn't get to ride the chariot, and Pit was casually drinking a cup of coffee.

Suddenly, a large, Dark-Pit-shaped hole was ripped through the floor as the angel himself was tossed carelessly inside the platform—crashing into one of the cabinets and landing in a disheveled mess on the counter.

"HERE YOU GUYS ARE: A NEW NARRATOR!" Swellow chirped happily, flying back down. "Play nice, now!"

"OUR FLOOR! THE CABINETS!" Reevee21 gasped before collapsing onto her keyboard. "We JUST HAD those fixed!"

Dark Pit: It's not my fault, the bird back-handed me!

Pit: Well, at least it's nice to have you here!

*Still sobbing over broken items*

Percy: *Wakes up* Huh? What'd I miss?

Zelda: Meh, nothing much. Don't ask about the hole in the floor, by the way. Thanks for reading, guys! We hope you add this to your favorite/follow list so you can read more of our awesome shenanigans! Like riding lightning chariots…

Dark Pit: I never allowed them to, stop glaring at me.

And hug your Eevee, peeps! See ya next chapter!