Seventy-Nine
Diamond Duel
Sluuuuuuuuuu—"Good morning,"—uuuuuuuurp, Flygon greeted to the passing Buizel.
Buizel returned the favor with a very formal and highly advanced response!
"Ginlnoiiod," Buizel groaned back in an ancient language known as Monday-morning-hater.
"Jnioladfonaeauenjl?" Zoroark blurted back, blinking her eyes separately and sitting across from him. Dark circles evidenced that she had stayed up last night to watch Xenoblade with the author.
"Dolknlo. Hnleoialdn8eoi," Buizel answered before preforming a face-desk.
"Was that an eight?" Absol blinked at the above sentence.
"Yes it was," Quilava whistled.
"How can you say 8 like that?" Absol asked before freezing. "Wait a minute…"
Suddenly, a caffeinated torpedo of blue feathers struck the table and caused both of the Monday zombies to fall into it. "MORNING!" Swellow chirped happily.
"SWELLOW!" Charizard barked. "THAT WAS OUR BEST TABLE!"
"I guess we'll need to call Ana again!" Swellow answered with an 'oh well' face.
"…where's Frogadier?" Chestnaught noted randomly.
"Fenekiiiiiin," Luxio growled, leaning in super-close to Fennekin's head.
"I didn't do anything!" Fennekin huffed.
"But we know you did," Luxio breathed. "We know because we know you want to take over the world…"
Fennekin's eyes widened.
"We know…" Luxio exited dramatically.
"Take over the world? What?" Shaymin asked.
"UH, UH, he meant this world!" Fennekin smiled in panic before pulling out a toothpick flag and stabbing it into a nearby globe.
"…seems legit," Serperior shrugged.
The still-groggy Zoroark casually trudged over to the fridge and opened the door. The body of Frogadier flopped out, causing HIGH-PITCHED VIOLIN MUSIC TO PLAY!
"AUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" she screamed.
"AUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHGH!" everyone else screamed.
"MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" Fennekin cackled.
"HARK THE FROGADIER ANGELS SING WHAT THE CHEESEBALLS HAPPENED TO FROGADIER?!" Swellow yelped.
"Heh, Christmas spirit much?" Charizard muttered.
Zoroark was too busy poking Frogadier with a stick to notice.
"Zoroark! Hey!" Treecko scolded, chopping it in half with a swing courtesy of his diamond sword. "We only poke DEAD things with a stick, remember?"
"Whoops!" Zoroark squeaked apologetically. "My bad!"
"Then…WHODUNNIT?!" Flygon asked dramatically as the unconscious Frogadier started to drool.
LAW AND ORDER WITH JUDGE(S) WITHER…PART TWO
"ORDER IN THE COURT!" Judge Wither howled, banging one of its heads senseless like a mallet. "SOMEONE explain why I had to come up here on a Saturday!"
"Your honor," a Creeper explained, shuffling a stack of papers between its…feet while standing at the podium, "it appears that an unconscious Frogadier was found in a refrigerator this morning."
"*Slime noises*," the Creeper's Slime assistant confirmed.
"Who is our suspect?" Judge Wither rose three eyebrows.
"Fennekin," the Creeper introduced.
A spotlight was shone on Fennekin, who was sitting in a folding chair in front of Judge Wither with a peeved expression.
"You can't just PULL A RANDOM FOX out of the crowd and say she's responsible for murder!" Fennekin barked.
"Miss," the Creeper argued, "you have attempted the murder of several individuals in Froakie's evolutionary line. I find perfect reasoning in you being suspect."
"I DEMAND A LAWYER!" Fennekin growled.
Meanwhile, in the audience, the Pokémon were all seated together and waiting for Fennekin's trial.
"Treecko, you brought your lawyer, right…?" Lucario whispered to Treecko.
"Who? I didn't do anything like that," Treecko shrugged casually while wiping the wood chips off his diamond sword.
"GREAT!" Charizard shout-roared. "She's stuck on the hot seat with no defendant!"
"…where's Phoenix Wright when you need him…?" Flygon groaned.
"…WELL, seeing how no one has come to defend this Fennekin," Judge Wither decreed after looking around, "I thus declare Fennekin GUI—"
"OBJECTION!"
Everyone whipped back to the podium with a gasp, most at the familiar line and the Pokémon's in hope that their prayer had been answered.
Standing at the podium with the Creeper and Slime off to the side, properly dressed in a suit-n'-tie, was none other than—
QUILAVA!
"Your honor," Quilava started formally, removing his paw from the stand, "I would like to see evidence proving this Fennekin killed Frogadier."
Judge Wither blinked, taken aback. "…this is why I don't do judging on Saturdays. EVIDENCE?!" He barked to the Slime.
The slime promptly flung the body of Frogadier into the courtroom, causing several more violin screams and fainting mobs.
"…*slime noises*," the smile shrugged, seeing not even a Fennekin hair on Frogadier.
"And on a separate note, if Fennekin DID murder Frogadier," Quilava added, "then there would be no body! ESPECIALLY not in the fridge, where she keeps her cheesecakes!"
"Fennekin's what?" Serperior asked from the crowd.
"My bad," Judge Wither shrugged, lifting its unconscious head to bang again. "I now decree Fennekin NOT GUI—"
"HOLD IT!"
Another collective gasp as Quilava was rudely kicked out of the podium and replaced with—
Bob the Skeleton in an equally fashionable suit n' tie?!
"YOU," Treecko snarled from the crowd.
Bob whipped around to face the lizard. "YOU…and I believe that's MY SWORD!"
"NO! IT'S MINE!" Treecko growled, clutching his sword closer.
Bob jump-tackled him and the two proceeded to get into a fistfight.
"…well, if there are any other points to be made?" Judge Wither asked. "No? Alright then. I DECLARE THIS FENNEKIN NOT GUILTY!"
BANG! Went the head on the stand again.
"Good. Let's get out of here," Fennekin muttered, jumping off the chair and trotting away.
"Quilava, I didn't know you were a lawyer!" Charizard blinked in surprise as Quilava rejoined the departing group.
"Want to hear a secret?" he whispered. "…I've been taught by Phoenix Wright."
Back in the PC box…
"So, if Fennekin didn't kill Frogadier," Zoroark asked, "who did?"
"Hmmmm…" Lucario hummed, staring down Frogadier for clues.
"HEY!" someone shouted from the fridge.
Everyone looked over to see a very peeved Fennekin glaring at an empty shelf.
"WHO STOLE MY CHEESECAKES?!" she hissed menacingly.
The entire room was silent…wait, weren't Treecko and Bob in a fight?
Meanwhile, outside the court room…
And a quick warning; this next part will be epic.
A diamond sword and bone spear clashed as Bob and Treecko continued to fight. Tension boiled through the air as a thunderstorm—a literal THUNDERSTORM—started to brew in the clouds.
The courtroom was, evidently, a single building out in the middle of a dried desert. A huge cliff was nearby it that dropped into…something, eventually, and the occasional cactus was watching from a distance.
Bob's spear was repeatedly slashed at, but the hardened bone wouldn't give in. Seeing how the pointed end wouldn't reach the enemy, Bob instead flipped it around and used the flat end to knock Treecko in the chest.
Treecko took the hit and was backed up a few feet, clutching the bruise. He glared daggers at Bob and charged with his spear, screaming "AETHER!" as he came at a downward slash.
When the flash of blue hit Bob, he was completely thrown backwards. A large crack was now in the skeleton's skull.
"This…is…my…sword," Treecko panted. "I mined for the diamonds, I hand-stitched the leather handle, I built the fire to meld the diamonds, and I burned the night oil to perfect it in its beauty. You'll never take it from me!"
"Treecko," Bob cackled psychotically, "you should know that all those were from the Overworld. Diamonds, leather, fire, and night. Therefore, that sword belongs to the Overworld. And one if its residents is ME!"
Bob threw his spear, the sharp end catching the side of Treecko's face and giving him a thin but deep cut. This caught him off guard as he stumbled, before charging at Bob again.
An epic, dramatic duel ensued. Thunder and lightning roared at them to continue, even when the pounding rain started and the two began to tire. They steadily gained bruises and cuts from each other's weaponry, a beautiful display of the crafter and the observer, COMBINED INTO a TRULY EPIC BATTLE THAT HARDLY FIT IN THE K+ RATING!
*Pant, pant* …whoa…got a little dramatic there…I'm on a Fire Emblem craze right now, don't judge me.
Bob suddenly swung his spear sideways, knocking Treecko so far he ended up over the cliff.
With a yelp, Treecko snatched the edge with one hand while his other was occupied with the reason the fight had started; his diamond sword. It was scuffed, it was scarred, and parts of it were even mildly cracked, but it was his sword and he would never give it to that skeleton fiend!
The dry sound of someone clearing their throat brought his attention back to Bob, who was standing over him with pride.
He gulped uneasily.
I'm going to interrupt this scene briefly so we can get back to Frogadier!
"OH COME ONNNNN!" Rotom wailed as the epic scene was blocked.
"What? 'Come on' what? Are you Captain Falcon or something?" Chestnaught asked, since the other Pokémon didn't see the fight.
Frogadier suddenly gasped and shot awake. "I DIDN'T EAT THE CHEESECAKE, I SWEAR!" he yelped.
"YOU," Fennekin snarled from across the room.
"…uh, Frogadier? Is that cheesecake frosting on your lip?" Flygon asked, poking at a yellow-white smudge on the frog's face.
"Oooooooh dear," he whimpered as Fennekin started charging her fire shuriken.
BACK TO THE EPIC SCENE. Somewhere in the PC box, Rotom is cheering.
Treecko looked up at Bob through the pounding rain and yelled, "WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!"
"Why would I let the prize go with you?!" Bob groaned.
Treecko, seeing his chance, swung the sword at Bob's leg. It made contact—
…and a small burst of blue, sparkling diamond bits parted around Bob's leg.
Treecko let in a death gasp.
"Your sword reached its limit!" Bob declared triumphantly. "And, since all that you have of worth is that leather handle…"
Bob stomped on Treecko's hand. Treecko let go of the side with a yelp and began to fall to wherever-the-heck the cliff lead, Bob cackling manically above him.
Of course, he didn't hear, because he was screaming his lungs out the whole way.
"AAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" he screamed. "GOODBYE, BEAUTIFUL WORLD! I'LL MISS YOU SO MUCH!"
He was beginning to pick up speed.
"REEVEE21, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, BUT I LOVE YOU!" he sobbed. "AND QUILAVA, CHARIZARD, ZOROARK—ALL THE GUYS! MAKE SURE THEY HAVE GOOD LIVES!"
Alright, will do.
"THANK YOU! Wait…" Treecko straightened in his free fall, "if I can still talk to you, can I also talk to the readers?"
Um, yes? I don't know, what do you guys think?
"READERS!" he shouted. "THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR SUPPORT! I REALLY HOPE GREAT FICS COME YOUR WAY!"
If he were to look under him, he could see the ground starting to approach.
"AND I LOVE YOU AAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLL!" Treecko whimpered before finally hitting the ground, flat-out unconscious in the some-million-foot drop, desert gorge.
*Deathly pale* …
Percy: *Wide-eyed* …
Zelda: *Starting to cry* …
Agumon: *Gaping* …
Pit: … *puts hands to mouth* …
Dark Pit: *Eyebrows raise* …
…I JUST…KILLED SOMEONE…
Percy: …we…we could kind of tell.
Agumon: *Sighs* I'll start barricading the door from angry reviewers…
Dark Pit: Why?
WHADDYA MEAN, WHY?! They'll murder ME for murdering Treecko!
Dark Pit: But you said he was unconscious, right? Unconscious doesn't necessarily mean dead.
Zelda: OH, GOOD *falls backwards into chair*.
Oh! But, his diamond sword is dead, sooooo…geesh, now what?
Pit: May I handle this one? Some sort of post-narrating-platform adventure thing Treecko goes on to recover that sword?
Sounds okay by me! That's an AWESOME idea!
Percy: Well, in the meantime, thanks for reading, readers! We'd love it if you hit that follow/favorite button on your way out, and a review never hurt anyone!
NEVER DID! Hug your Eevee, guys, I'll see you later! BYE!