CHAPTER 26: TICKET TO ANYWHERE
"Aren! Come, look! He's walking!"
She had set a blanket out on the arid earth beside the wagon for the baby to play on. The baby crawled around, babbling to himself as she sat next to him and continued her needlework. Claudia grinned when her son rose with shaky knees to take a clumsy step toward her. Reacting to his mother's excited shouts and happy face, Cloud's nose briefly crinkled as he formed his own smile. Usually subdued and quiet, Cloud was having a good day. At eleven months old, Claudia was relieved that he was finally nursing well and had the energy to play and grow. His little hand grazed hers before he toppled forward into Mom's waiting arms.
"Oops! That's okay. Try again!" She stood and set Cloud on his bare feet once again, holding his tiny arms for support. Aren appeared around the rear of the wagon.
"He's walkin'? Well I'll be!" the brunette laughed, squatting a few feet away and holding his arms out. "Come on! Come to Dad!"
The toddler's big blue eyes flashed with delight at the sound of his father's deep voice. Cloud cooed as he ambled in Aren's direction, leaving the support of Mom's hands and smiling at the silliness in Dad's voice as he encouraged the baby forward. The man laughed heartily when his son collapsed into his arms, ruffling the toddler's feathery blonde hair and tossing him up to catch him again. Cloud laughed and rubbed his little fingers over the dark stubble on Aren's jaw.
"See, he'll be just fine, Claudia. I know it."
She had smiled wide as the dry, desert air kissed her skin.
"Mom?"
Her hand was frozen on the lid of the jar as she snapped out of her reverie. The counter was littered with fresh carrots and potatoes from the garden and Claudia was hard at work preserving the food in jars for the winter. Her heart sunk when she realized that she'd need to store less food now that her son was leaving soon.
"Hm?"
Cloud placed another bucket of potatoes on the counter beside her. "I rinsed 'em already. Do you need more water to boil?"
"Yeah. Thanks, hun."
She was trying to be positive, she really was. Since she had first laid her eyes on her newborn, Claudia knew that one day, he'd leave her side. Children grew up, that was the way of the world. Years of watching Cloud struggle to grow physically and socially had fanned the flames of any protective behavior normal for a mother. She'd never forget those long nights where she sat with her wheezing toddler, rubbing his chest and back with mustard oil or making him sip ginger water as he gasped for air in her arms. Didn't he still need her love and protection? She couldn't give that to him if he was an entire continent away from the only home he'd ever come to know.
Cloud's fascination with SOLDIER had only grown with time, much to Claudia's disappointment. When the boy's eyes first began to sparkle at the mention of Sephiroth, she had hoped it was just a childhood captivation that would fade as reality and maturity drew his attention to his future. The lonesome mother had prayed that the boy would make a life for himself nearby, so she could visit him often. He was all she had left in this life. She tried to summon memories of how she had felt when she left her home to build her life with Aren. After the initial heartache of being turned out by her parents, Claudia had chosen to step forward with a smile on her face and hope in her heart. Escaping her old routine to find a new one was invigorating. She learned to live in step to the rhythm of her baby's needs and her lover's uplifting spirits as they slowly travelled south, anticipating their eventual marriage and a simple life together with little Cloud.
Just because her journey away from home had ended in tragedy, didn't mean that Cloud's would. He'd be alright, just like Aren said. She had to let go.
"I want to help you get some work done around here before I go. I promise I'll clean the chimney the best I can. I'll clean the gutters, too."
She nodded in thanks as she sliced carrots to appropriate size. "Have you decided when you're leaving?"
"Before winter really sets in, I hope. It's almost October and you know how early we get snow. I figure it'd be best to get off the mountain while the trails are clear, right?"
Cloud looked to her face and she tried hard to smile. There had been such a bounce in his step and twinkle in his eye since he had brought his diploma home, firmly set in his ambitions to depart for Midgar. For the first time since his birth, her son was making decisions about his future all on his own. The culture in the isolation of the mountains was a little different than it had been in her hometown. Here in Nibelheim, marriage arrangements are usually made between two sets of parents in the best interest of their enamored children, who are old enough to wed at fifteen. The teens are treated as young adults and left to navigate the ups and downs of newly wed life with little interference from their parents. Claudia's mother and father had never expected her to marry until her early twenties or so, but she supposed the harsh conditions of life in the mountains left little time to waste when it came to having a family. She had learned quickly that little fingers were quite helpful at assisting her with daily chores. It was hard for her to look at her bright eyed son and see an adult, but Cloud seemed quite certain of himself in his maturity.
"So, you have your whole plan mapped out? You know how to get there?" Claudia averted her gaze as she lit the burner to heat the water to a boil.
"Kind of, I just have to iron out the details." The boy retrieved his collection of ShinRA paperwork from atop the sideboard and plopped into a seat at the kitchen table. "I also need you to sign something, if you wouldn't mind."
"Sure." Wiping her hands dry on her apron, she moved to stand behind her son. "What is it?"
Cloud flipped through miscellaneous documents, pamphlets and booklets before pulling out a white form. He pulled a pen from his pocket before laying the paper flat on the wooden surface.
"It says that if I'm under seventeen, I need a parent to sign my application form." He pointed to the provided area that awaited Claudia's signature. "Why do they ask for that?"
She paused in thought for a moment before taking the pen from his hand.
"In other places, you aren't considered an adult until seventeen or so. I guess until then, they need an adult's permission to send their child into a dangerous job."
"But wouldn't parents be proud to see their kids go to work for such a big company? I mean, all the risks are listed in the paperwork they sent. Don't they feel like their kids are ready to deal with those things after considering them?"
Claudia chuckled and rubbed his messy head before giving his tiny ponytail a teasing tug. "Not every child is as studious and serious as you, Cloud."
With a deceptively bright smile and a heavy heart, she signed her name on the dotted line.
… … …
It was a beautiful day and he didn't intend to waste it. Lately, miscellaneous household duties and his work in the stables usually kept him so busy that it was hard to spend quality time with his best friend. It was imperative that he store away as much gil as possible for his upcoming adventure, but he feared that the girl would somehow get the impression that he was avoiding her. Guilt pooled in his belly. If he wasn't such a coward, he wouldn't have risked exposing Tifa to such thoughts. Cloud saw the damage that Mr. Lockhart had dealt to her confidence. Wasn't it his job as her companion to protect her from and further harm, emotional and otherwise?
Dot wasn't in her stall when he went to clean the barn that morning, meaning Mr. Lockhart must've borrowed her to pull his wagon out of town. Cloud supposed it was just about that time of year when the man was gone often, felling timber miles outside the village to leave lumber worthy trees close by to cut during the winter months when it was hard to navigate the sleigh through the snowy landscape. Knowing that Tifa was alone, it was safe to pay her a visit. Cloud swallowed hard before knocking on her front door. He hoped she had time to spare, for there was another matter in his heart that he needed to tell her. Tifa needed to know how he felt about her: that he couldn't live without her, that he thought of her constantly, and that he wanted to marry her one day. He needed her to know that he loved her.
The boy inhaled slowly when she opened the door, silken hair flowing like a dark river over her shoulder. The breath only left his lungs when she smiled.
"Hey!" she chirped, eyes sparkling. "Want to come in?"
"Actually, I was wondering if you wanted to go for a walk in the woods like we used to. It doesn't have to be too long," he said, shyly averting his face. "The wind has been really gusting, so we can come back if you get too cold."
"Oh, yes please!" she brought her hands together with excitement. "I've been stuck tending the garden forever."
Tifa thanked him and fetched her shoes before she followed him out of the village and the pair disappeared into the glades. He could see her happiness in the lightness of her gait and smiled when she skipped ahead of him. The shelter of the forest gave them room to breathe. They had left most of their burdens in the village and would once again bear them when they returned home, but for now the pair felt weightless as they played on the well-worn trails. For the first time in a long time, Cloud felt like a giddy child as he romped beside her. Tifa merrily circled through the leaves and he noticed the tender warmth in her eyes, cinnamon colored against the grey of the autumn sky. His heart beat in his throat. It was funny how he was so full of determination to leave Nibelheim and make his dream come true until he saw her. One look at the trust in her eyes and the nerve to leave began to slowly leave him, like the sands in an hour glass.
They panted and laughed as they chased and teased one another, throwing sweet gum seed pods or pinecones. Their hearts thumped as they ran through the groves. When they came to a lush clearing, they stopped to breath, huffing for air as they sported involuntary grins. Oak and maple trees were sparse amongst the sea of evergreen lining the meadow, and the wind sent leaves of yellow, red and orange drifting over the tall grass like snow. Tifa calmed her breathing and chose a place to sit amongst bare dandelion stalks. Cloud followed without thought.
"I feel like it's been forever since we've had this much fun," she said, slowly reaching out to collect brightly colored leaves.
"It has been forever. I'm sorry I've been so busy."
She shook her head. "It's not your fault. We're growing up, Cloud. We have so many things we have to do that it doesn't leave a lot of time to goof off."
They shared a comfortable silence for a few minutes. Cloud watched as Tifa began to tie the stems of the leaves together, forming a colorful loop. The wind whispered through her hair and he stole a glance at her delicate face. The thickness of her dark eyelashes against her porcelain cheeks made a foreign feeling swell in his chest.
"There!" Tifa grinned, placing the bushy arrangement of foliage on her head. "How do I look?"
Elbow perched on his knee, Cloud turned to observe her crown with a smirk. He knew she was waiting for him to tell her how silly she looked, but he couldn't disagree more. Her cheeks were dusted pink by autumn's chill and her rosy lips were a delicate contrast against the creamy color of her skin. He wondered what it would be like to kiss them…
"You look beautiful."
The words escaped his mouth before he could rein his heart in and his eyes immediately flew to his boots. Cloud's ears took on a pink hue as he inwardly cringed at the silence between them.
"Thank you," she said quietly and turned her head to look at him. "You really think that?"
He took a deep breath; it was now or never.
"Yes, I do…" The blood drained out of his limbs and he slowly placed a leaden hand on her shoulder. "I think you're the most beautiful girl in the whole world."
She blushed, then. Unable to hide her embarrassment and giddiness, she locked eyes with him. "How do you know that? You've never been outside of little ol' Nibelheim!"
"I don't need to go anywhere to know that there's no one like you, Tifa." Cloud tried to keep himself from trembling as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. "You are beautiful on the outside and the inside. You're perfect."
He didn't feel as if he had full control—his body was acting of its own accord. Her crimson eyes were on him as he closed the space between them, gently pressing his lips to hers in a hesitant kiss. Last time, he had only mustered the courage to plant a quick peck on the side of her mouth. This time, it was different. Cloud kissed her slowly and deliberately, savoring the feeling of her soft lips. He tried to lean back and part their mouths to analyze her reaction to his boldness, but Tifa wouldn't let him. His eyes flew open in surprise when she cupped her hands on the back of his head to gently pull him back again and pressed her lips to his.
The girl leaned into him and Cloud let his lashes flutter closed, savoring the contact and the excitement of sharing the something so intimate and new. Tifa let them part when she ran out of air. Abashed, she gazed into his blue eyes, face flushed from embarrassment and the rush of emotion. This girl was so precious to him and Cloud couldn't believe that he was leaving her behind. If all went according to plan, he could come back as a SOLDIER with enough credentials to convince Mr. Lockhart to let him take her away from all the sadness her mother had left behind. He hoped she'd be alright without him. Would her ornery father fill her head with lies so she wouldn't wait for him? He felt a bright future in the clasp of their hands as she moved to intertwine her fingers with his. What if he couldn't save her from the sadness of her bleak home life? He couldn't fail her again; he wouldn't let her fall a second time.
The last of the summer crickets chirped slowly with the chill of early autumn and he breathed her in.
"Tifa," he whispered, running gentle palms over her arms. "I love you." She gently embraced him and Cloud cupped the back of her head. "I want to be with you, always."
… … …
The nights had always been the worst. Long stretches of silence mixed with insomnia gave his mind too much time to delve into dark places and dangerous paths. Brian was surprised that he had been able to slip into a dreamless slumber the night before. It had been just about midnight when he had finally made his way out of his workshop and shuffled up the stairs to hide in his bedroom and chase the comfort of the blank void of sleep that eluded him so deftly. There hadn't been any glow of candlelight flickering from the crack underneath Tifa's door, so Brian thought it was safe to release the strangling feelings of loneliness, self-deprecation and inadequacy in quiet, broken noises. Out of the stillness, a sound drifted into his ears. It had started so quietly that he wasn't sure he had heard the merry timbre of Lia's piano until the notes were softly dancing in the air. The calming melodies had marched on and on until he had slipped easily into peace and stillness.
The rays of the sun and a scraping noise had awoken him. The hours of daylight gave him meaning and purpose: building a new cradle for the growing Nelson family or sanding the handsomely carved designs on a commissioned dresser or vanity made Brian feel connected to the lives of the people around him. Being the only child of a once well respected family, he had expected life to turn out much differently than it had. His business was supposed to be booming and he was supposed to have had requests from a few boys for apprenticeships, but money came in slowly and not one bright eyed youngster had darkened his doorway in many years.
Scrape, scrape.
Brian rose from his place on the mattress and followed the noise to the window facing the Strife cottage. That skinny little blonde was perched on an unsteady wooden ladder that wobbled and scraped the side of the house as he tried to keep his balance while clearing leaves and debris out of the gutters. The carpenter's sharp eyes immediately assessed the situation. The rickety ladder needed so much repair, that it would've been much less costly just to have a new one made. One of the legs had rotted so that it was a good half inch shorter than the other and one step was missing completely. It was dangerous and foolish to use such a thing, but Brian had never known the Strife boy to show caution in risky situations.
The sight of that unruly pale hair usually made anger boil in his heart. It had always been that way since he had first seen the awkward little thing playing with his black haired toddler. Lia had always seen something in Cloud and his mother that the others hadn't. The day after Claudia had arrived, the town was abuzz with rumors and the about the blue eyed harlot who had slept with enough men to afford shelter for her fatherless child. Brian was indifferent about it until he saw that they were moving into the house next to his, of all places. His friends had laughed with a tsk of mock pity when they found out, teasing at the irony of his upscale family living next to street urchins. It was always easy for him to criticize the young mom as she struggled to raise a small boy and run a household alone, but Lia had always had a sympathetic perspective of the fair haired pair. It wasn't until he had ended up as a single father himself that he realized how hard it was to manage the role of two people under the crushing weight of sadness. If he didn't know the first thing about raising a girl to be a respectable young woman, what would Claudia know about raising Cloud to be a well-rounded young man?
The teen wobbled a bit before catching himself and reaching to pull out another armful of leaf litter and wayward pine needles. Something in Brian's heart sunk as he watched his daughter's closest companion try to accomplish his chores with a deathtrap of a ladder. He had two, heavily lacquered ones in the basement that the kid could borrow and avoid breaking his neck. But meddling wasn't something he was accustomed to and he couldn't risk the boy thinking he cared for him, or anything of the sort. He had enough to deal with and didn't want to reinforce the snickering of the villagers who whispered about reclusive Mr. Lockhart taking an interest in his pretty blonde neighbor. Lia had learned a tidbit or two about Claudia's life, but he had never cared to listen. The Lockhart reputation had already taken a dramatic nose dive and harlot or not, he didn't need the poison of the Strife stigma to pull them down further.
… … …
The gangly blonde teen was the last person Zangan expected to knock on his door that breezy September afternoon. Cloud Strife had always been a presence that seldom trespassed in his thoughts. The boy had the remarkable ability to exist without being noticed, a trait Zangan knew was the result of a lifetime of undue scorn. Since he was the closest companion of his young apprentice, the man had heard enough about the blue eyed misfit to know that his mother had raised him to be gentle and well-mannered with the exception of the times where Cloud's bratty peers drove him to throw a punch or two. From what Zangan saw, the kid had a lot of spirit and he liked that.
"Good day, Master Zangan," he said, nervously shifting a stack of papers under his arm. "I was wondering if you had a few minutes to talk." The martial artist smiled at the deepening adolescent voice.
"Please, come in," he invited, ushering Cloud inside the tiny cottage. "Excuse the mess; I haven't unpacked from my trip yet."
The kid's large eyes took in the modest surroundings of the living space. The parlor was barren of furnishings except for a few rolled up mats in the corner and a suitcase and duffel bag against the wall. Cloud deduced that this must be his makeshift dojo during the long winters or rainy days. The grey haired man led him to sit at his kitchen table, where Cloud put down his pile of forms and papers. After pouring his guest a cold glass of water, he sat in the adjacent chair and turned his attention to the boy.
"What can I do for you, Mr. Strife? It's not every day that we get to chat." Cloud met Zangan's gentle smile with big, honest eyes.
"I'm sorry for coming by without invitation, sir, but there's something important I need to ask you about. Tifa once said that you've done a great deal of travelling," he paused, fidgeting in his chair. "Have you ever been to Midgar?"
Zangan's eyebrows lifted. "Yes, I have. Twice." The boy's eyes flashed with hope.
"I'm looking for a bit of advice," Cloud said as he sifted through his papers and pulled out a glossy pamphlet. "I want to join ShinRA and become a SOLDIER. To do that, I need to get to this buiding." He showed Zangan a photo of ShinRA headquarters on the pamphlet's inner leaf. "Could you tell me how to get there?"
Zangan looked at the photo, narrowing his eyes. Of course he'd seen that building—it was the biggest building both above and below the plate. The city of Midgar had a structure that reminded the man of a cake plate. A round, flat layer of the city sat suspended on an enormous pillar. Divided into sectors like pieces cut from a pie, this 'upper plate' was home to the richest and most privileged citizens. The slums underneath had their sunlight, precipitation and hope stolen from them by the massive upper plate that blocked out any view of the sky. Divided into sectors like the upper plate, the slums were a very dangerous place to be, especially for a naïve and idealistic mountain child.
"Does your mother know about this?"
"Yes," he answered, blue eyes unwavering. "But she didn't know how to get to the eastern continent. You have pupils around the world, right? I figured you might be able to point me in the right direction."
"It'll cost a fortune. Are you aware of that?"
Cloud nodded. "I have a savings. I'm sure it's enough to get me there. Once I hand in my application, ShinRA will hire me and I'll make money to live off of."
Zangan studied the boy who had fire in his eyes, much like the day many years ago when he had pried the child off of Thomas as they fought in town square. Cloud was no longer the timid little waif of his childhood, but his small frame and blindness to the enormity of his career choice made the man uneasy. Members of SOLDIER were usually large monsters of men, purposefully infused with mako to enhance their strength and senses. The little Strife boy was always small for his age and prone to illness: a poor fit for a SOLDIER candidate. Would it be wrong to aid a child's quest to a tainted, dirty city to serve an even more corrupted company? He was most likely to be rejected by the program and would probably end up bussing tables or something in the hostile slums. Master Zangan sighed as he realized that the boy's future in Nibelheim was likely just as empty. Cloud watched as the man fetched his leather travel bag from the counter and produced a folded white paper.
"It's your lucky day. I still have the train schedule from my trip," the martial arts master said as he flashed a cunning smile. Cloud leaned over the table a little to peek at the lines of print. "When are you looking to leave?"
"As soon as possible," Cloud said as he thought of the little bruises on Tifa's wrists and arms. He pulled out a small world map from his pile of papers and glanced at it quickly before his host spoke.
Zangan leaned his chin on one fist as he looked over the schedule. "Trains to the coast usually carry goods. According to the schedule, passenger trains only seldom head north east." The grey haired man ran his finger over the rows while his young guest curiously looked on. "Hm. There's one leaving tomorrow evening."
Cloud's eyes widened. Tomorrow? That was so soon! He wouldn't have a lot of time to adjust to the fact that he was leaving his home, pack or say goodbye. He still hadn't even told Tifa about his plan to leave and the guilt of his secret burned in his chest. If it wasn't for his cowardice, his friend would've had a little time to adjust to the thought of their separation. Now, Cloud felt as if he was running out on her. As much as Cloud was leaving to become a SOLDIER, he was leaving home to help her, too. If he was going to get her father's blessing to marry her, he needed to become a worthy man. He'd be sure to show Mr. Lockhart that he coud take care of his daughter when he showed up in the handsome black attire of a first class SOLDIER.
Noticing Cloud's hesitation, the man spoke. "If you miss that one, you won't be able to catch another one for six weeks."
"That's too long. I need to get on that train! But I don't think I could hike to the train station by then—it's all the way at the bottom of the mountain. It'd take me over a day to get there."
"It's too dangerous to take the path by foot. There are monsters lurking in greater numbers than in previous years." Master Zangan rubbed his thumb over his beard in thought. "Do you know the cobbler?"
"Ted? Yeah…" Cloud said, hoping the older man had some sort of plan up his sleeve. "Why?"
"He's finished here for the summer. I saw his wagon packed outside the inn; if he's leaving tomorrow, maybe he could take you down to the village at the foot of the mountain. That would be much faster than walking down the path."
The blonde exhaled as Zangan handed him the paper containing the train schedules. He carefully added it to his stack of papers while thanking the man profusely.
"It'll probably take you six days or so to reach Midgar." Zangan pointed at Nibelheim on Cloud's map, sliding his finger from point to point. "One day to reach the train station, two days by train, two by boat, and probably one more once you reach the eastern continent. Make sure you write all this down. I'll tell you what you need to know."
"Thank you very much for your kindness, Master Zangan." The blonde lifted his head to fix his elder with a solemn stare. "I have one more thing to ask of you, sir."
Zangan raised an eyebrow in question.
"Please, watch over Tifa while I'm gone."
… … …
Papa had scolded her yesterday. They had sat down at the table for dinner when he said that he saw her merrily talking with Cloud at the town gate. Tifa kept her eyes on her plate as her father told her that at thirteen, she was much too old to be running around with a boy without an escort or supervision. Apparently, this sort of thing hurt her reputation and Papa was adamant that she only conversed with the Strife boy while in the presence of others. Tifa wanted to protest, but she decided that she should just be grateful for the miracle that she wasn't forbidden to see Cloud completely. What her father didn't realize was that she didn't seem to have a good reputation to protect.
The man seemed to be distressed over the fact that all of the boys Tifa had grown up with were leaving Nibelheim, one by one. His daughter wasn't sure why he cared about her well-being at all anymore. It made sense when she realized that losing marriage prospects meant that he might never be able to get rid of her. Since Jim had left town for opportunities elsewhere, there were no suitors of her age group left, except for Cloud of course. And Papa hated Cloud. Tifa never took it for granted that her neighbor was still with her. He had been busy working lately and she thought that maybe he was trying different trades to see which one he liked best. That way, he could make a living and be stable on his own in a few years. She dared to hope that he might even want to take her as a wife, someday.
So when the gentle ring of the jingle bell woke her at half past midnight and Cloud begged her to meet him atop the water tower, she almost declined. If Papa found out, Tifa would have much more than just a bruised spirit. But the desperate look on Cloud's face and the anxiety in his voice pulled her from her sheets. Thinking it was indecent to be seen in her night dress, she pulled on her blue summer frock and crept out into the night air.
Cloud was already atop the water tower when she climbed up to meet him, the moon illuminating his golden spikes while casting shadows on his face. What was it that he wanted to tell her? It had to be something of great importance if it couldn't wait until morning. Perhaps it was a secret that pulled at his heart so badly that he couldn't sleep. Maybe the suffocation of this little, small minded town made him want to ask her to run away with him. Her friend was only a year away from turning fifteen—maybe he was that nervous because he wanted to betroth himself to her! The thought filled her with a giddy anticipation as she let Cloud take her hand and help her onto the wooden platform. If that was true, she wanted to build a bright future with him. Maybe together they could get somewhere in this oppressive life. He gave her a shy smile when she settled beside him.
"I'm glad you came. There's something I need to tell you."