1998
Months went on. Affectionate gestures when nobody was looking became such the norm that half the time, neither Samar or Aram even realised they were doing it. Fingertips brushing comfortably against each other's hands, arms, or backs, absent-mindedly searching for one another in passing became frequent while working in the back room of the store, as did the kiss good morning, the kiss good night, and every other kiss in between. The problem then was, staying alert and staying discreet; with the affection so common when people weren't looking, the gestures became habit... And when they became habit, it was difficult to stop them when people were looking and Samar and Aram were supposed to seem as if they hardly knew each other at all.
At the very least, straight from that first kiss, they now made a point of one of them being clearly visible in the store area ready and waiting when Shahin arrived in the evening, so that they always seemed apart and his suspicions could start to fade.
In private though, there was little between them that remained unshared. Thoughts, feelings, frustration at the delicate nature of the world around them were common, and daring conversations.
'Do you ever wish that we could just...' Aram spoke up suddenly, as he ducked into the back room, searching for something, before trailing off again. He shook his head bitterly; 'go to dinner together or something?' Samar glanced up from the book she was reading, curled up on the armchair in the corner of the room.
'Or watch a movie together?' She sighed, as she nodded in response. Aram nodded back, both of them catching each other's eye for a moment as they thought it over. It was the never ending dilemma; they had read about so many romantic gestures in all the books they passed between one another, and wished desperately now that they could just have a simple evening to themselves, but that too was more or less impossible when they had to be discreet. 'Yeah, all those sorts of things,' Samar murmured her agreement, as Aram pulled something down from the shelf beside her armchair, and ducked to dot an affectionate kiss to the top of her head as he did so. 'It would be nice.'
/*/*/*/*
1993
It was one time at home, when Aram was supposed to be tutoring Shahin, that they first held hands –albeit accidentally. Samar, taking the moment to be clumsy instead of Aram for once, slipped on the tiled floor while crossing the kitchen to leave a plate of fresh baking on the table where he and Shahin sat. Instinctively, Aram's arm whipped out, reaching for her, and taking her hand as she slipped past him to stop her from falling.
Samar's gaze snapped to his the second she regained her balance.
Aram's eyes went wide in alarm a second later as he realised; he was still holding her hand.
And yet somehow, neither of them moved to let go.
It was the first time they had ever really touched at all, without counting the occasional brushing against one another in passing things back and forth... It was the first time that Aram's skin had ever really lingered against hers. Aram's heart pounded in his chest, utterly terrified; that split second that passed so quickly that Shahin, and Samar's parents barely even noticed, felt like an eternity.
'Thank you,' Samar murmured, as quietly as she did quickly. The slightest hint of a smile tugged at the corners of her lips and she bobbed her head gratefully, before gently pulling her hand from his.
'That's ok,' Aram whispered back. Samar hesitated for a second, then quickly dropped the plate of cookies on the table and darted away again before anyone noticed. Aram watched her go, struggling to concentrate on the task at hand for a moment. He shook his head, forcing himself to stare back at the pages of Shahin's book, or the plate of cookies, or anything really... But despite finally bringing his attention back to what he was supposed to be doing, part of his thoughts remained lingering on his hand, forcing his fingers to curl around themselves absent-mindedly against the tablecloth, and desperately trying to remember the sensation of her soft skin against his.
/*/*/*/*
1998
The feeling of closeness between them becoming habit proved to be difficult not just while trying to be discreet in public, but also at the fence. Sitting in the grass of their respective gardens after work, with that row of crooked wooden panels between them was the first thing to make both of them painfully aware of just how close they had become, and just how much the fence kept them apart. Samar, without even realising it, let out a miserable sigh as she listened to Aram's soft voice read to her from the other side of that hole in the fence. She had her eyes closed, with her head leaning against the plank... But it was that absence of his arm around her that she could feel most of all as his voice brought those stories to life. Samar tried to push the thought from her mind of just how strange it felt now to be missing that contact... As well as what that very feeling meant. She was so determined to leave, and she was nearly able to do so now –but if she already missed him when just separated by a fence that was less than an inch thick, how was she going to feel if she moved half a world away?
/*/*/*/*
1994
It was nearly a year after the first occasion, that they held hands for the second time –and not nearly as accidentally.
A nasty stomach bug made the rounds, striking down Aram's mother until his father had to call Mehri and Samar over from next door to help care for her. Accompanied by Arash, Samar and her mother busied themselves in Aram's home, keeping an eye on Mehri's fever, making sure she drank enough water, and cooking enough meals to last them a few more days until Mehri was better. Aram tried to help where he could too, having watched his mother cooking and listened to Samar talking about cooking enough times to have picked up on a few things –and much to his father's surprise- but the anxiety swirling around in his mind made it difficult to concentrate, and more than anything he ended up just getting in the way.
In the hustle and bustle of all the extra people moving about the house –Nasrin ducking into Mehri's room to take her some more food, and Arash pausing just briefly to talk business and politics in another room with Naveed- nobody realised that Samar and Aram had accidentally been left alone together in the kitchen.
'She's going to be ok,' Samar's low voice jolted Aram from his mind's anxious wanderings. He stood in the internal archway at the end of the kitchen –the entrance to the hallway that led through the rest of the house and most importantly, to his parents' room. Aram was hovering there, wanting to make sure his mother was feeling better, but not really sure what to do. He blinked for a moment, glancing sideways to note Samar now standing there by his side after finishing the dishes.
'I know,' he murmured back quietly, 'I just...' Aram shook his head as he trailed off, nervously biting his lip and he staring back down the hallway.
'You worry about her.' Samar nodded as she softly finished the sentence for him. Aram let out a sigh, his eyes not quite meeting hers... Until her fingers slowly curling around his jolted his attention back to her once again. She gave his hand a gentle, reassuring squeeze, then quickly let go again, cautious of being seen. Samar dropped her gaze, bowing her head and staring awkwardly at the floor. Aram did much the same, though the tiniest hint of a grateful smile tugged at his lips just as the faint pink blush began to tinge his cheeks -his fifteen year old wisdom far enough beyond his years to worry about future parental health, but still lacking in the knowledge of what to do when the girl who was the love of his life actually dared to hold his hand… Even if it was just for a second.
Regardless, the small gesture was just enough to snap him out of his nervous headspace.
/*/*/*/*
1998
'What's all this?' Samar asked in amazement, walking into the back room of the bookstore early in the morning a few days later. Still, it was an effort to shake away that newly realised inner conflict between her desire to leave and the growing feelings for Aram that she still wasn't quite sure what to make of, but there was an odd sense of calm that washed over her, easing those anxieties the moment she stepped into the back room and saw him there, smiling to himself as he seemed to be setting a table right in the centre. There were boxes and containers piled up in the middle, one of which was filled with something that Samar couldn't quite see, but her nose could certainly smell. The aroma of fresh cooking wafted through the air, filling the entire room.
'Lunch,' Aram said simply, grinning as if all too pleased with himself. 'Not the same as dinner, but I figure... It's not as easy to do that here.' He paused for a second, the grin faltering in favour of a sheepish shrug of his shoulders; 'Shahin might interrupt.'
'He might,' Samar chuckled as she nodded her agreement. She glanced down at one of the containers, eyeing what appeared to be some kind of stew; 'did you make this?'
'Mmhmm,' Aram hummed to himself. Then he furrowed his brow, biting his lip for a second as he too, eyed the delicious smelling stew; 'I don't know how good it is though.' Still, his cooking skills were limited to the things Samar told him and the rare occasions his mother allowed him to help in the kitchen... Not that Samar seemed to take issue with that particular fact. She peered into the container, popping the corner of the lid and reaching forwards to sip her finger in the sauce; 'hey, not yet,' Aram scolded –albeit teasingly- as he gently swatted her hand away. 'It's too early.' Samar cracked a mischievous grin as Aram shook his head in mock exasperation and opened the next box –a cardboard one this time. From within, Aram pulled out a trio of wide-based, light purple candles, then set them on the table.
'Where did those come from?' Samar asked softly –even though she knew the answer.
'That stall that you like at the market,' Aram murmured back, tilting his head and staring at the layout of the candles before shuffling them just ever so slightly to form a nicer triangle.
'You bought my favourite candles, just so that we could have lunch?' A wry smile lit up Samar's face as she asked the question.
'A romantic lunch,' Aram corrected her, 'I figure if we have to make do with having our date in secret, we may as well at least make it a nice one.'
'A date, huh?'
'Well... I did forget to get dessert...' Aram shot her a guilty grin.
'You know,' Samar began, tugging a small box of her own out of her bag and setting it down on the table with a flourish, 'I think I might have that covered.' Aram paused, for a second, catching her eye before peering into the box.
'...Rice flour cookies?' He gasped in delight, staring down at the whole pile of them inside. 'You picked a good day to make my favourite...' He mused, finally returning Samar's gaze with a quizzical grin; 'and you brought in a whole batch?' It took no words for both of them to know that they had both had the same sort of idea; with both their respective parents away as of the day before –Samar's visiting her grandparents again, and Aram's taking a weekend trip for themselves now that his father was free of responsibilities to the store- and with the idea of longing for a real meal together at the forefront of both their minds, they had both embraced the freedom of taking over their respective kitchens without watchful and questioning eyes wondering why.
'Great minds think alike?' Samar chuckled. Hey eyes crinkled as she laughed softly, in that way that Aram loved more than anything.
'Hmm,' Aram hummed again, before taking the two steps towards her, brushing the loose strands of hair off her face, and pressing a soft kiss to her lips as she leaned contently into him; 'I guess they do.'
Next up; 'The Night' and just a reminder that's the one with the awkward-first-time smut.