Ultra 64 can't remember what this game was about. That's all we can say about Hydlide!
AUTHOR'S CUT: I never played Hydlide, and quite frankly I don't want to, so this episode of Ultra 64 will be much shorter than the previous one. It will also be a limerick. Enjoy!
-=31=-
There was once a princess whose name was never given
and there once was a Varalys who was rather smitten,
so the dragon shot lasers
with his claw-tipped phasers
and the princess became fairies wearing mittens.
Along came Jim the perpetually weak Knight
whose HP couldn't handle anything more than a bite,
so he bashed slimes
to make weak rhymes
and ended up dying that night.
As Jim the Knight reloaded his game,
the trees looked rather tame,
so after an hour of bees
who were cheaper than cheese,
he found the first fairy hiding in a tree. LAME.
Meanwhile two wizards were hanging out,
the second fairy the reward for this bout
the wizards were weak to Wave
a spell that Jim did for this event save
it hit both of them and the rest I forgot about.
Jim finds the final fairy in a fort
guarded by a dragon in its court,
and an hour he did grind,
but that didn't help his mind,
because Jim was one of the dim sort.
As the fairies teleported him to Varalys's lair,
Jim took his revival medicine sqaure
and the dragon and knight
did clash and fight
and Jim won a battle that wasn't fair.
After that Jim and the princess ate scones,
in one of Hydlide's 25 zones,
and as this game comes to an end,
this game must for itself fend
with lawyers representing Indiana Jones.
ULTRA 64
Ultra 64 Episode 202
Game Data
Hydlide
©1986 T&E Soft
Genre: Action JRPG
Players: 1
Raul Escabar, producer for Ultra 64 and the writer for this particular episode, said to N and Ivy, "So what do you guys think?"
"That's the last time I let you write an episode, Raul." Ivy the usual writer critiqued. N nodded in agreement. "Ultra 64 continues after these commericals."
"aww..."
COMMERCIAL 1: Echo Grass Throat Tonic
Hey, this is N from Ultra 64. I'm the narrator of the show, and this job is important to me; as it puts fuel in the tanks and food on the table. That's why I can't play around when it comes to my voice. So when my voice needs a pick-me-up, I drink Echo Grass Throat Tonic; a unique blend of gesahl greens, ginseng, honey, and chai tea; to help my voice climb back to its fullest potential. Whether you have a sore throat or have been cursed by a Black Mage, Echo Grass Throat Tonic gets your voice back, just like you never lost it, guaranteed. Dispells usually take about two minutes to chant and another two minutes to work properly, if they work at all. Echo Grass Throat Tonic works instantly, and there's no chanting necessary. So remember, when you need your voice back, you need Echo Grass Throat Tonic. Echo Grass Throat Tonic, part of the Potion Products family, and sold in general item stores everywhere.
PROMO: Eternity Cross [short]
"The world of 20XX is a crazy one. I just thought it was about stopping Dr. Wily. Now it's about fixing the time-space continuum and stopping the schemes of that guy. Then again, it's nothing we can't handle. Mega Man Eternity Cross; new episode next Saturday at 8:30. Time waits for no one. Check it on Saturday Night Entertainment System, only on 3rd Life TV."
=NOW BACK TO ULTRA 64
"Hey, that's all the condensations we have tonight, so until next time, I'm N. I'll be seeing you, yeah?"